How do I reinforce boundaries with my husband?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Now I’m eating more, drinking 64oz of water, and using 1 electrolyte powder a day. He still think that’s not enough. He thinks I need to eat larger portions, snacks, and drink a gallon of water a day...He thinks I need almost a gallon of water a day but I can’t drink all of that.

WebMD sides with your husband here:

"Breast milk is made of 88% water, so getting enough water is very important for your breast milk production, Ornelas says. “When you’re breastfeeding, [your water intake should] increase even more because your body is working nonstop to make the breast milk,” she says. “The recommendation is about 125 ounces, which is 16 cups. That’s a lot of water.”

Not only do you need this water to help produce breast milk, but you also lose about 25 ounces of water through your breast milk every day, which needs to be replaced. And again, if you’re in a very warm place and sweating a lot, you’ll need even more. "

https://www.webmd.com/baby/what-to-know-staying-hydrated-while-pregnant-breastfeeding

Ok. I will eat another snack and drink more water. I just can’t force myself to drink a gallon of water.

Drink more milk. It's Natures perfect food. Has everything you need.

I don’t drink milk. Never have. I don’t like it.

[Anonymous]

This isn’t a situation for “boundaries.” This isn’t some meddlesome mother in law. This is your husband, your partner, the love of your life, who just watched you birth his child and then land in the hospital from not eating and drinking enough. Of course he’s scared! And anxious. And pushing food and water. He’s trying to take care of you and he’s probably terrified.

Stop with the boundaries crap, thank your lucky stars for such a loving, caring husband, and anytime he brings you a snack or a cup of water, take at least a bite or a sip. You were in the hospital for dehydration a WEEK ago. If you continue to do well and eat more and he sees you healthy and well fed over the course of the next month, he’ll relax and back off. You can revisit in a month or two if it still seems over the top to you.

[Anonymous]

Ugh, everyone is ganging up on OP. It’s ok for him to be worried about her, but not ok for him to dictate what she eats and drinks. It just isn’t. She has bodily autonomy and doesn’t cede that just because she had a baby.

[Anonymous]

Troll

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Now I’m eating more, drinking 64oz of water, and using 1 electrolyte powder a day. He still think that’s not enough. He thinks I need to eat larger portions, snacks, and drink a gallon of water a day...He thinks I need almost a gallon of water a day but I can’t drink all of that.

WebMD sides with your husband here:

"Breast milk is made of 88% water, so getting enough water is very important for your breast milk production, Ornelas says. “When you’re breastfeeding, [your water intake should] increase even more because your body is working nonstop to make the breast milk,” she says. “The recommendation is about 125 ounces, which is 16 cups. That’s a lot of water.”

Not only do you need this water to help produce breast milk, but you also lose about 25 ounces of water through your breast milk every day, which needs to be replaced. And again, if you’re in a very warm place and sweating a lot, you’ll need even more. "

https://www.webmd.com/baby/what-to-know-staying-hydrated-while-pregnant-breastfeeding

Ok. I will eat another snack and drink more water. I just can’t force myself to drink a gallon of water.

OP I'm siding with WebMD and your DH because one gallon of water per day is what I drank with both of my newborns. One pint of water every three hours adds up to a gallon. Eating and drinking enough is essential for breastfeeding.

[Anonymous]

Regarding drinking.

If you don't pee at least five times a day you're not drinking enough. Ideally, you should pee once every three hours. The more the better. It keeps you healthy.

[Anonymous]

125 oz water also includes any water in the food you eat, which is a lot for fruit and vegetables.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Age?
What health problems do you have to cause such concern in him?
Are you not addressing them and getting in better shape?

33. No healthy problems. ER said it was just dehydration from not eating/drinking enough the first week.

I have been eating and drinking more but it’s not enough for him.

What does the bolded part mean?

She has a 2 week old baby, is what I’m reading.

OP, breastfeeding and healing after birth DO require you to stay hydrated, and nourished! I was shocked at how hungry I was after my milk supply really ramped up. I would add electrolytes to your water - your DH might back off on pushing water constantly.

I’m sure your DH is worried about you, but likely not at his best either, since you’re both dealing with a big change in your lives. It isn’t possible him to know how it feels to have just given birth, so he’s trying to support you the best way he knows. Your hormones are also still all over the place. So try to give each other grace, while figuring it all out together.

I was not drinking enough and only eating 2 protein shakes and dinner. Now I’m eating more, drinking 64oz of water, and using 1 electrolyte powder a day. He still think that’s not enough. He thinks I need to eat larger portions, snacks, and drink a gallon of water a day.

I eat now
Times vary

8am: 2 scrambled eggs in butter with 2 chicken sausages and 1/2 avocado. This keeps me full for very long or a greek yogurt bowl with granola and fruit.

12pm: Salad with chicken and 1/2 avocado. Probably 2 cups of salad. I’ve been loving chicken Caesar salad.

4pm: Some kind of snack as I previously listed. Usually 1 string cheese and 1 cup fruit.

8pm: Dinner has been pasta, burger bowls, or easy chicken and veggies. I eat a whole burger + sides, a large chicken breast + 1-2 cups veggies, or maybe 2 cups pasta with ground beef sauce and cheese.

I have been drinking 64oz of water, 1 glass of apple juice with breakfast, and 1 drip drip electrolyte mixed in my water. I drink when I feel thirsty.

I think this is plenty of food. I don’t feel dizzy or weak anymore. My husband thinks I need to eat more and should be snacking at 10am, 2pm, and 1-2 snacks after dinner and throughout the night. He thinks I need almost a gallon of water a day but I can’t drink all of that.

that's nowhere near enough for a breastfeeding mom. listen to your husband

[Anonymous]

If it were me, I would probably make good & go stay w/family if he doesn’t stop this controlling behavior.

He is NOT being a good husband.
Maybe his heart is in the right place but his behavior toward you is definitely not.

Good luck to you ➕ congratulations on your new baby. 💝

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Ugh, everyone is ganging up on OP. It’s ok for him to be worried about her, but not ok for him to dictate what she eats and drinks. It just isn’t. She has bodily autonomy and doesn’t cede that just because she had a baby.

Yes, OP absolutely has bodily autonomy to refuse eating and drinking and put herself back in the hospital. But maybe she has extremely poor judgment right now and you and she should consider whether she might need some helpful input?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Regarding drinking.

If you don't pee at least five times a day you're not drinking enough. Ideally, you should pee once every three hours. The more the better. It keeps you healthy.

I have a small bladder and pee a lot in general.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Age?
What health problems do you have to cause such concern in him?
Are you not addressing them and getting in better shape?

33. No healthy problems. ER said it was just dehydration from not eating/drinking enough the first week.

I have been eating and drinking more but it’s not enough for him.

What does the bolded part mean?

She has a 2 week old baby, is what I’m reading.

OP, breastfeeding and healing after birth DO require you to stay hydrated, and nourished! I was shocked at how hungry I was after my milk supply really ramped up. I would add electrolytes to your water - your DH might back off on pushing water constantly.

I’m sure your DH is worried about you, but likely not at his best either, since you’re both dealing with a big change in your lives. It isn’t possible him to know how it feels to have just given birth, so he’s trying to support you the best way he knows. Your hormones are also still all over the place. So try to give each other grace, while figuring it all out together.

I was not drinking enough and only eating 2 protein shakes and dinner. Now I’m eating more, drinking 64oz of water, and using 1 electrolyte powder a day. He still think that’s not enough. He thinks I need to eat larger portions, snacks, and drink a gallon of water a day.

I eat now
Times vary

8am: 2 scrambled eggs in butter with 2 chicken sausages and 1/2 avocado. This keeps me full for very long or a greek yogurt bowl with granola and fruit.

12pm: Salad with chicken and 1/2 avocado. Probably 2 cups of salad. I’ve been loving chicken Caesar salad.

4pm: Some kind of snack as I previously listed. Usually 1 string cheese and 1 cup fruit.

8pm: Dinner has been pasta, burger bowls, or easy chicken and veggies. I eat a whole burger + sides, a large chicken breast + 1-2 cups veggies, or maybe 2 cups pasta with ground beef sauce and cheese.

I have been drinking 64oz of water, 1 glass of apple juice with breakfast, and 1 drip drip electrolyte mixed in my water. I drink when I feel thirsty.

I think this is plenty of food. I don’t feel dizzy or weak anymore. My husband thinks I need to eat more and should be snacking at 10am, 2pm, and 1-2 snacks after dinner and throughout the night. He thinks I need almost a gallon of water a day but I can’t drink all of that.

that's nowhere near enough for a breastfeeding mom. listen to your husband

That what is? 2200-2800 is normal. That’s probably 2200-2400 calories.

[Anonymous]

Well, I was partially wrong. It looks like some of you are right. I just googled some stuff and called a friend of mine who is a mom and a doctor and she said even my food list I detailed isn’t enough. I need to be eating at least two more snacks that are 150-300 each. She said I need to drink more liquid because I should be drinking a liter every 3 hours and getting up to a gallon a day. She has two kids and ate 3000+ calories and drank a gallon of water. She also told me not eating enough will impact my supply and I might not be able to breastfeed. She said the nausea is a sign that I need to eat.

So now I’m going to apologize to my husband and have another talk about eating. I will be eating every 3 hours and getting in at least another two snacks and drinking more water. He is the cook in our house so I want him to continue making me food since we both have a long leave. I will just portion off what I prefer because I hate feeling too full.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Well, I was partially wrong. It looks like some of you are right. I just googled some stuff and called a friend of mine who is a mom and a doctor and she said even my food list I detailed isn’t enough. I need to be eating at least two more snacks that are 150-300 each. She said I need to drink more liquid because I should be drinking a liter every 3 hours and getting up to a gallon a day. She has two kids and ate 3000+ calories and drank a gallon of water. She also told me not eating enough will impact my supply and I might not be able to breastfeed. She said the nausea is a sign that I need to eat.

So now I’m going to apologize to my husband and have another talk about eating. I will be eating every 3 hours and getting in at least another two snacks and drinking more water. He is the cook in our house so I want him to continue making me food since we both have a long leave. I will just portion off what I prefer because I hate feeling too full.

Wow, that's a first on here I'd be willing to wager.

Good on you OP for being level headed and thinking it through rather than lashing out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP do you have an eating disorder and had the fall because you were excessively restricting food and fluid intake?

If so and you don't let your husband take care of you you might need inpatient treatment.

No eating disorders. I was just prioritizing breastfeeding and sleep and was relying on a couple do protein shakes and a dinner to get me through the day. I know now that’s not enough and I fixed it but he still thinks I don’t eat enough and has been monitoring me.

Your baby does not want to eat protein shakes it wants real food.