How do I reinforce boundaries with my husband?

[Anonymous]

I have two week old and have been struggling with dizziness from hormones and not eating/drinking enough. I had 1 week ago. Since the fall, my husband has been hyper vigilant and very in my face. He prepares all of our meals and has been giving me large servings and getting upset when I don’t eat enough - to his standard. He monitors my fluid intake and will almost demand I drink more if I haven’t hit his set goals. He has been bringing me near constant snacks and pushes for me to at least eat some of it. I feel like he is treating me like a child. We had a lengthy talk last night after me losing my cool but he still hasn’t stopped his behaviors. I threatened to go stay at a hotel or with family if he doesn’t let up and he got angry and slept in the guest room. I think he is way out of line but he thinks he’s being a good husband. My marriage won’t last if he keeps this up. This behavior is very new and he was never controlling before this past week. What do I do to reinforce my boundaries?

[Anonymous]

Age?
What health problems do you have to cause such concern in him?
Are you not addressing them and getting in better shape?

[Anonymous]

OP do you have an eating disorder and had the fall because you were excessively restricting food and fluid intake?

If so and you don't let your husband take care of you you might need inpatient treatment.

[Anonymous]

You need to seriously consider that he is actually right even though he might be going slightly overboard.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Age?
What health problems do you have to cause such concern in him?
Are you not addressing them and getting in better shape?

33. No healthy problems. ER said it was just dehydration from not eating/drinking enough the first week.

I have been eating and drinking more but it’s not enough for him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP do you have an eating disorder and had the fall because you were excessively restricting food and fluid intake?

If so and you don't let your husband take care of you you might need inpatient treatment.

No eating disorders. I was just prioritizing breastfeeding and sleep and was relying on a couple do protein shakes and a dinner to get me through the day. I know now that’s not enough and I fixed it but he still thinks I don’t eat enough and has been monitoring me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Age?
What health problems do you have to cause such concern in him?
Are you not addressing them and getting in better shape?

33. No healthy problems. ER said it was just dehydration from not eating/drinking enough the first week.

I have been eating and drinking more but it’s not enough for him.

What does the bolded part mean?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP do you have an eating disorder and had the fall because you were excessively restricting food and fluid intake?

If so and you don't let your husband take care of you you might need inpatient treatment.

No eating disorders. I was just prioritizing breastfeeding and sleep and was relying on a couple do protein shakes and a dinner to get me through the day. I know now that’s not enough and I fixed it but he still thinks I don’t eat enough and has been monitoring me.

PP nevermind, answered.

Yes, he's right to be concerned. It's an emotional time for women and he might be worried you are having post partum depression and might harm his child or yourself.

[Anonymous]

Since he doesn't have a history of being controlling, consider that he is scared and worried about you. If it's not working for you to have him as your caregiver right now, can you have a family member or friend step in?

I appreciate that you want to be an independent adult, but from an outsider's perspective, you're still postpartum, in a precarious health situation, and dealing with a newborn. This is not the time for overly asserting your independence.

[Anonymous]

Is this thread you OP?

https://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/1284808.page

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Age?
What health problems do you have to cause such concern in him?
Are you not addressing them and getting in better shape?

33. No healthy problems. ER said it was just dehydration from not eating/drinking enough the first week.

I have been eating and drinking more but it’s not enough for him.

What does the bolded part mean?

The first week post birth I was not eating enough. I felt dizzy a lot and fell.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Is this thread you OP?

https://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/1284808.page

No. Different details and different poster.

[Anonymous]

Yeah OP has an eating disorder she doesn't want to admit too. She's freaking out because she's one week postpartum and hasn't lost the baby weight yet. Most women who are breast feeding are hungry all the time. It uses up a lot of energy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Age?
What health problems do you have to cause such concern in him?
Are you not addressing them and getting in better shape?

33. No healthy problems. ER said it was just dehydration from not eating/drinking enough the first week.

I have been eating and drinking more but it’s not enough for him.

What does the bolded part mean?

She has a 2 week old baby, is what I’m reading.

OP, breastfeeding and healing after birth DO require you to stay hydrated, and nourished! I was shocked at how hungry I was after my milk supply really ramped up. I would add electrolytes to your water - your DH might back off on pushing water constantly.

I’m sure your DH is worried about you, but likely not at his best either, since you’re both dealing with a big change in your lives. It isn’t possible him to know how it feels to have just given birth, so he’s trying to support you the best way he knows. Your hormones are also still all over the place. So try to give each other grace, while figuring it all out together.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yeah OP has an eating disorder she doesn't want to admit too. She's freaking out because she's one week postpartum and hasn't lost the baby weight yet. Most women who are breast feeding are hungry all the time. It uses up a lot of energy.

Not true. You’re way off the mark. I prioritized sleep the first week. I’m eating plenty now but my husband still thinks it’s not enough. I eat every 4 hours 4 times a day. Thats plenty.