Are those grandparents who are worried about being "too far away" from grandchildren unaware of airplanes?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As grandparents get older they also have a lot more health issues and flying and travel in general, isn’t quite as simple as it seems.

I did have grandparents myself, I'm aware that at some point you visit them more than they visit you.

It's expensive and difficult to put my family on a plane to visit grandparents. Grandparents are now too infirm to sit on a plane for 5 hours. Even before that was the case, being a plane ride away meant they missed the little stuff, had to trade off major holidays with the in-laws, etc.

That doesn't mean adult children can't move. Adults do what is best for their families. But adults also admit to the consequences, even if deciding to accept those consequences.

My main problem is with grandparents who pressure their children to rearrange THEIR lives to make sure the grandparents have access to the grandchildren. If you are a parent (or grandaprent) who puts your own interests ahead of what's best—career, personally, etc.—for your children and grandchildren, you're a miserable selfish old twit.

And people who give up on something they want—a promotion, an opportunity to live overseas, etc. out of fear of what their parents might think about the distance are just losers.

Then maybe don't title your thread the way you did? You have so much anger you're not aiming right. Figure out what's bothering you before creating a thread that's off-base.

I thought "narcissist Boomers should stop putting their selfish interests first and learn how to visit people" would be too provocative.

as a grandparent your job is to love your grandchildren and pass on the family history—not to dictate where anyone lives.

Do you really know that many people who are experiencing this? I know absolutely zero. Or is it just one in particular and you're making a moronic generalization post.

yes, i do.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is such a dumb post. My family lives within driving distance and we are lucky that there is money, time, and health that we can see DH's family often who live a 3 hr plane ride away. We recognize many people aren't in the same situation as us.

And if people are giving up stuff they want because of their parents, the problem is with them, not their parents.

Your view of the world and what people are able to do is very skewed. Your post just makes you sound like an idiot.

have you READ any posts around here? they're filled with raging self-absorbed types (or their adult children complaining about them) who are OUTRAGED their interests and time with grandchildren are not made first priority.

So? If your parents are the raging, self-absorbed type, remind them they can buy a ticket to visit at any time. If they can't afford it, you could buy them a ticket. If they really want to see their grandkids on a regular basis, they could move to you, but if they already have a community in place, it's probably a bad idea. So, nicely ignore the raging.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is such a dumb post. My family lives within driving distance and we are lucky that there is money, time, and health that we can see DH's family often who live a 3 hr plane ride away. We recognize many people aren't in the same situation as us.

And if people are giving up stuff they want because of their parents, the problem is with them, not their parents.

Your view of the world and what people are able to do is very skewed. Your post just makes you sound like an idiot.

have you READ any posts around here? they're filled with raging self-absorbed types (or their adult children complaining about them) who are OUTRAGED their interests and time with grandchildren are not made first priority.

So? If your parents are the raging, self-absorbed type, remind them they can buy a ticket to visit at any time. If they can't afford it, you could buy them a ticket. If they really want to see their grandkids on a regular basis, they could move to you, but if they already have a community in place, it's probably a bad idea. So, nicely ignore the raging.

Or they can stop the raging—it is fundamentally their problem. The rest of us don't need to put up wiht it.

[Anonymous]

OP, what dose of entirely not medically indicated testosterone are you taking? May want to revisit that with your functional medicine concierge doc. It’s not serving you well

If you’re as amazing as you imagine yourself to be, another career opportunity will surely come up in your current locale. You can let this one go.

[Anonymous]

My parents fly all the time, but almost never to visit us.

So I don't take the "too far away" complaints very seriously.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, what dose of entirely not medically indicated testosterone are you taking? May want to revisit that with your functional medicine concierge doc. It’s not serving you well

If you’re as amazing as you imagine yourself to be, another career opportunity will surely come up in your current locale. You can let this one go.

Deciding you want to stan for selfish boomers who try to guilt their families into giving up opportunities so they can try to "helicopter grandparent" is a helluva hill to make your stand.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, what dose of entirely not medically indicated testosterone are you taking? May want to revisit that with your functional medicine concierge doc. It’s not serving you well

If you’re as amazing as you imagine yourself to be, another career opportunity will surely come up in your current locale. You can let this one go.

Deciding you want to stan for selfish boomers who try to guilt their families into giving up opportunities so they can try to "helicopter grandparent" is a helluva hill to make your stand.

Nah, just pointing out your inchoate fury is going to eat you alive. Maybe skip a dose?

[Anonymous]

Wow OP you need to cut the cord. Make peace with your choices

[Anonymous]

I don’t want my grandparents that far away. We have a set that’s 10 min away from us and it’s been life changing. Emergency? Grandparents are easily there. Kids are sick? Grandparents.

Frankly I get sick of traveling to the grandparents that live further away.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Seriously, you can get on a plane and be there for any signficant events your family wants you there for and you won't haunt them when they don't want you...

Not everyone one wants to be a vacation and holiday grandparent.

[Anonymous]

My parents live 2.5 hours away from us, in the house where grew up. I moved to my current area for work and need to stay here. We see them numerous times per year, I’d say every other month. And yet—my brother who lives half an hour away from them sees them every week and they provide frequent babysitting, even ensuring they didn’t need to pay a nanny when his kids were infants. Some real benefits to proximity!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:As grandparents get older they also have a lot more health issues and flying and travel in general, isn’t quite as simple as it seems.

This, unfortunately.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Seriously, you can get on a plane and be there for any signficant events your family wants you there for and you won't haunt them when they don't want you...

Why generalize your personal toxicity? If you've a problem with your parents or in-laws, talk to them as adults grown adult so they know that they need to respect your boundaries. Now if these boundaries are reasonable or not, for that y'all need to seek family therapy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Not everyone can afford to fly, OP.

OP would also want them to stay in a hotel , eat at a restaurant and rent a car or Uber so she doesn't have to accompany them.

[Anonymous]

My local parents see the grandkids about 200x the ones a plane ride away. They constantly backstop our childcare for us and we go there to hang out, especially when they were babies.