Review your elementary school!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Would one (or all) of the people who wrote or +1’d that post about graduating from a title I elementary school be willing to do an AMA? We may be in this position. We’re having a wonderful experience at our title I school but more and more of the other white/UMC families leave every year - starting next year we’ll be one of just a couple left. I have a ton of questions about your experience.

I’m not sure I’d be up for a true AMA because my family would be identifiable pretty quickly.

One way our experience was different was that we never had a large white population at our schools (both EOTP T1 DCPS). My child has never had more than two other white classmates in their grade (and we are beyond elementary). Families left over the years but they were of all backgrounds, and left for a variety of reasons. The class sizes never dramatically changed either, as new kids enrolled.

They are teenagers now and my child still shares classes with about a dozen kids we’ve known since they were all four.

What was your child's experience with differentiation, if any?

[Anonymous]

4th grade is when kids personalities shift- some kids mature faster and some don’t. Kids also stop liking the same things and want to do different things.

Happens all over the country


Having friends at different schools and different parts of the city is logistically hard when they are little. But it’s normal. I work in an office, I don’t interact w the same people every day, same friends every night .

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We are at a Title 1 EOTP. we have a rising first grader and a PK4.

I’m worried by late elementary their friends will all be gone.

What school are you at? I’ve worried about that at my child’s school but have found very few families have left (and some have turned down WOTP schools in the lottery).

We've had the same experience. A couple people in the class have left our EOTP school but going into first grade the class is remarkably in tact and has also had multiple families turn down WOTP and also DCI feeders.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We are at a Title 1 EOTP. we have a rising first grader and a PK4.

I’m worried by late elementary their friends will all be gone.

What school are you at? I’ve worried about that at my child’s school but have found very few families have left (and some have turned down WOTP schools in the lottery).

We've had the same experience. A couple people in the class have left our EOTP school but going into first grade the class is remarkably in tact and has also had multiple families turn down WOTP and also DCI feeders.

This is easy to do in 1st grade. It willl be a different story in 4th grade as middle school becomes a reality.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We are at a Title 1 EOTP. we have a rising first grader and a PK4.

I’m worried by late elementary their friends will all be gone.

What school are you at? I’ve worried about that at my child’s school but have found very few families have left (and some have turned down WOTP schools in the lottery).

We've had the same experience. A couple people in the class have left our EOTP school but going into first grade the class is remarkably in tact and has also had multiple families turn down WOTP and also DCI feeders.

This is easy to do in 1st grade. It willl be a different story in 4th grade as middle school becomes a reality.

+1 this can be done by people with enough money for private middle school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My child is finishing 5th grade at a Title I school, and I’ve been grateful for the experience—it has challenged many assumptions and biases I may have held going into PK. Like at many Title I elementary schools, the PK class was a very different demographic mix than 5th grade. Between families leaving for the suburbs during COVID, others opting out of upper elementary, and many leaving after 4th grade for charters, it was honestly upsetting at times to see how the community thinned out.

But in the end, my child is doing well both academically and socially, and they’ve had the benefit of a real sense of community throughout their elementary years.

At first, I was surprised by how much segregation existed within the school itself—that was a learning moment for me, and something I’ve worked intentionally to try to bridge. As more White and upper-middle-class families left, my child deepened their relationships with the classmates who remained. Some of those relationships have become close friendships; others are more casual. And yes, there are kids my child says are disruptive or fight too much—but I’ve seen my child develop empathy and learn how to navigate those dynamics, skills I know will serve them well in life.

I also worry about raising an entitled child, given our family’s income and the opportunities we can provide. I believe that being part of a Title I school community has helped instill a real sense of gratitude and perspective in my child—something I value deeply.

For me (and this may not be a popular opinion on DCUM), I also believe it’s important to push back against the constant pursuit of “the best” school, especially when there is a good-enough option right in your own neighborhood. When we always chase what seems "better," we risk teaching our kids that their individual success matters more than contributing to the community around them. Choosing your local school, even when it isn’t perfect, sends a powerful message: that community matters, that showing up matters, and that sometimes the right choice is one that asks us to be a little more selfless—for the good of all kids, not just our own.

Are you going to the feeder for middle school?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Would one (or all) of the people who wrote or +1’d that post about graduating from a title I elementary school be willing to do an AMA? We may be in this position. We’re having a wonderful experience at our title I school but more and more of the other white/UMC families leave every year - starting next year we’ll be one of just a couple left. I have a ton of questions about your experience.

Ask some questions! I would answer. We stayed at a Title 1 until 4th, I have lots of complicated thoughts about the school experience, about what to do for middle school, and about what makes a school "good enough." I also moved my younger kid to a very highly rated non-Title 1 DCPS and have lots of points of actual comparison.

PP here who asked for the AMA. Here are my questions (would be interested in answers from anyone with a child who actually had a kid go all the way through 4th or 5th grade at a title I school):

1) Were you able to make “family friends” via your kids school (where the kids were friends and the parents were friends) despite race/class/cultural differences? If yes, can you offer any tips on how to make that happen? If no, did you miss this?

2) Did your school have a lot of Spanish speaking families? Did your kid become friends with those kids? If so, how did you navigate the language barrier with those parents?

3) Did you talk to your kid about the racial differences at his school? About racism? About the dynamics of being the only white kid in the class? If so, at what age(s)? Did you bring it up or did they? Did they seem to notice or care? We’re there every any hiccups around being the only (or one of a very few) white kids?

I know that’s a lot - happy to also provide a burner email or something if you’d rather talk directly. The bolded are honestly my biggest questions. We’re in a situation where I’ve ended up friends/friendly with mostly the white/UMC families, and they are leaving at high rates, and I’m not having a lot of luck bonding with the families of color (despite my efforts). The language barrier has been huge, plus just some unexpected differences (ex: aftercare is dominated by white families, which I wouldn’t have guessed, some black families are housing insecure and move often, there seems to be less of a culture of scheduling time in advance to get together to play. Even weird things like the white families are all at the pool from 10 or 11 to 1 and the black families are there more in like the 2-6 window). I’m sure a lot of this is a skill issue on my part, and I want to do better and learn but I’m struggling a bit and don’t want my kids to be left out due to my own social limitations/awkwardness.

Oh and if you haven’t been at a title 1 through 4/5, please don’t respond. I myself was HORRIFIED when I asked the neighbor with a kid a little older if she knew a lot of the parents at the school (when my kids were toddlers) and she said “sure, all the white parents” and now that I’ve lived it, I’m seeing how that happens and how hard it is to swim against that tide.

[Anonymous]

PP to add a question 4:

As neighbor friends moved to different schools, but remained in the neighborhood, did you stay in touch? Did your kids stay friends? Or did they drift to pretty much exclusively friends at their school?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My child is finishing 5th grade at a Title I school, and I’ve been grateful for the experience—it has challenged many assumptions and biases I may have held going into PK. Like at many Title I elementary schools, the PK class was a very different demographic mix than 5th grade. Between families leaving for the suburbs during COVID, others opting out of upper elementary, and many leaving after 4th grade for charters, it was honestly upsetting at times to see how the community thinned out.

But in the end, my child is doing well both academically and socially, and they’ve had the benefit of a real sense of community throughout their elementary years.

At first, I was surprised by how much segregation existed within the school itself—that was a learning moment for me, and something I’ve worked intentionally to try to bridge. As more White and upper-middle-class families left, my child deepened their relationships with the classmates who remained. Some of those relationships have become close friendships; others are more casual. And yes, there are kids my child says are disruptive or fight too much—but I’ve seen my child develop empathy and learn how to navigate those dynamics, skills I know will serve them well in life.

I also worry about raising an entitled child, given our family’s income and the opportunities we can provide. I believe that being part of a Title I school community has helped instill a real sense of gratitude and perspective in my child—something I value deeply.

For me (and this may not be a popular opinion on DCUM), I also believe it’s important to push back against the constant pursuit of “the best” school, especially when there is a good-enough option right in your own neighborhood. When we always chase what seems "better," we risk teaching our kids that their individual success matters more than contributing to the community around them. Choosing your local school, even when it isn’t perfect, sends a powerful message: that community matters, that showing up matters, and that sometimes the right choice is one that asks us to be a little more selfless—for the good of all kids, not just our own.

Are you going to the feeder for middle school?

Yes, we are.

[Anonymous]

Are you going to the feeder for middle school?

Yes, we are.

Which one?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Would one (or all) of the people who wrote or +1’d that post about graduating from a title I elementary school be willing to do an AMA? We may be in this position. We’re having a wonderful experience at our title I school but more and more of the other white/UMC families leave every year - starting next year we’ll be one of just a couple left. I have a ton of questions about your experience.

Ask some questions! I would answer. We stayed at a Title 1 until 4th, I have lots of complicated thoughts about the school experience, about what to do for middle school, and about what makes a school "good enough." I also moved my younger kid to a very highly rated non-Title 1 DCPS and have lots of points of actual comparison.

PP here who asked for the AMA. Here are my questions (would be interested in answers from anyone with a child who actually had a kid go all the way through 4th or 5th grade at a title I school):

1) Were you able to make “family friends” via your kids school (where the kids were friends and the parents were friends) despite race/class/cultural differences? If yes, can you offer any tips on how to make that happen? If no, did you miss this?

2) Did your school have a lot of Spanish speaking families? Did your kid become friends with those kids? If so, how did you navigate the language barrier with those parents?

3) Did you talk to your kid about the racial differences at his school? About racism? About the dynamics of being the only white kid in the class? If so, at what age(s)? Did you bring it up or did they? Did they seem to notice or care? We’re there every any hiccups around being the only (or one of a very few) white kids?

I know that’s a lot - happy to also provide a burner email or something if you’d rather talk directly. The bolded are honestly my biggest questions. We’re in a situation where I’ve ended up friends/friendly with mostly the white/UMC families, and they are leaving at high rates, and I’m not having a lot of luck bonding with the families of color (despite my efforts). The language barrier has been huge, plus just some unexpected differences (ex: aftercare is dominated by white families, which I wouldn’t have guessed, some black families are housing insecure and move often, there seems to be less of a culture of scheduling time in advance to get together to play. Even weird things like the white families are all at the pool from 10 or 11 to 1 and the black families are there more in like the 2-6 window). I’m sure a lot of this is a skill issue on my part, and I want to do better and learn but I’m struggling a bit and don’t want my kids to be left out due to my own social limitations/awkwardness.

Oh and if you haven’t been at a title 1 through 4/5, please don’t respond. I myself was HORRIFIED when I asked the neighbor with a kid a little older if she knew a lot of the parents at the school (when my kids were toddlers) and she said “sure, all the white parents” and now that I’ve lived it, I’m seeing how that happens and how hard it is to swim against that tide.

1) yes, we made a number of good friends who might come to our house and a number of people who’ll I’ll text with and say hi to, but don’t intentionally spend time together. It took time and effort. As my kid got to be friends with their kids, I’d lean into play dates, and then invite the parent in for a beverage when they’d come pick up their kid. Honestly, I did feel suspicion at times from some Black families as I put myself out there, but some of those same people that (from my vantage point) seemed the least interested in being friendly initially are now good friends. If your school has sports teams, I’ve also found that has been a way to get to know more parents I wouldn’t otherwise. Field trips are another place where more parents show up. It is just a lot of putting yourself out there and being intentional about seeking out the non-white parents at school events. But, for me, I’ve really valued those friendships, and as trust was built, I’ve had some very direct conversations (and worked hard to really listen) about race with those Black parents that I have learned a lot from.
2) we don’t have a big non-English speaking population at our school
3) I’ve had a lot of conversations with my kid about race. I’ve done my best to talk about systemic issues and barriers and how that shows up in our neighborhood and at school. I’m really proud of how my kid thinks about these issues now (and that has evolved over time as they’ve gotten older). My child has two other white students in their classroom, so they’ve never been the only one.
4) we have stayed friends with families who’ve left, but it’s definitely never the same. I’m curious to see how dynamics change between the kids that are going to the feeder MS next year and the kids in the neighborhood who are at charters. It’s been fine during this 5th grade year, but I wonder if that will also drift over time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Would one (or all) of the people who wrote or +1’d that post about graduating from a title I elementary school be willing to do an AMA? We may be in this position. We’re having a wonderful experience at our title I school but more and more of the other white/UMC families leave every year - starting next year we’ll be one of just a couple left. I have a ton of questions about your experience.

Ask some questions! I would answer. We stayed at a Title 1 until 4th, I have lots of complicated thoughts about the school experience, about what to do for middle school, and about what makes a school "good enough." I also moved my younger kid to a very highly rated non-Title 1 DCPS and have lots of points of actual comparison.

PP here who asked for the AMA. Here are my questions (would be interested in answers from anyone with a child who actually had a kid go all the way through 4th or 5th grade at a title I school):

1) Were you able to make “family friends” via your kids school (where the kids were friends and the parents were friends) despite race/class/cultural differences? If yes, can you offer any tips on how to make that happen? If no, did you miss this?

2) Did your school have a lot of Spanish speaking families? Did your kid become friends with those kids? If so, how did you navigate the language barrier with those parents?

3) Did you talk to your kid about the racial differences at his school? About racism? About the dynamics of being the only white kid in the class? If so, at what age(s)? Did you bring it up or did they? Did they seem to notice or care? We’re there every any hiccups around being the only (or one of a very few) white kids?

I know that’s a lot - happy to also provide a burner email or something if you’d rather talk directly. The bolded are honestly my biggest questions. We’re in a situation where I’ve ended up friends/friendly with mostly the white/UMC families, and they are leaving at high rates, and I’m not having a lot of luck bonding with the families of color (despite my efforts). The language barrier has been huge, plus just some unexpected differences (ex: aftercare is dominated by white families, which I wouldn’t have guessed, some black families are housing insecure and move often, there seems to be less of a culture of scheduling time in advance to get together to play. Even weird things like the white families are all at the pool from 10 or 11 to 1 and the black families are there more in like the 2-6 window). I’m sure a lot of this is a skill issue on my part, and I want to do better and learn but I’m struggling a bit and don’t want my kids to be left out due to my own social limitations/awkwardness.

Oh and if you haven’t been at a title 1 through 4/5, please don’t respond. I myself was HORRIFIED when I asked the neighbor with a kid a little older if she knew a lot of the parents at the school (when my kids were toddlers) and she said “sure, all the white parents” and now that I’ve lived it, I’m seeing how that happens and how hard it is to swim against that tide.

1) yes, we made a number of good friends who might come to our house and a number of people who’ll I’ll text with and say hi to, but don’t intentionally spend time together. It took time and effort. As my kid got to be friends with their kids, I’d lean into play dates, and then invite the parent in for a beverage when they’d come pick up their kid. Honestly, I did feel suspicion at times from some Black families as I put myself out there, but some of those same people that (from my vantage point) seemed the least interested in being friendly initially are now good friends. If your school has sports teams, I’ve also found that has been a way to get to know more parents I wouldn’t otherwise. Field trips are another place where more parents show up. It is just a lot of putting yourself out there and being intentional about seeking out the non-white parents at school events. But, for me, I’ve really valued those friendships, and as trust was built, I’ve had some very direct conversations (and worked hard to really listen) about race with those Black parents that I have learned a lot from.
2) we don’t have a big non-English speaking population at our school
3) I’ve had a lot of conversations with my kid about race. I’ve done my best to talk about systemic issues and barriers and how that shows up in our neighborhood and at school. I’m really proud of how my kid thinks about these issues now (and that has evolved over time as they’ve gotten older). My child has two other white students in their classroom, so they’ve never been the only one.
4) we have stayed friends with families who’ve left, but it’s definitely never the same. I’m curious to see how dynamics change between the kids that are going to the feeder MS next year and the kids in the neighborhood who are at charters. It’s been fine during this 5th grade year, but I wonder if that will also drift over time.

PP here. Thank you SO much. I really appreciate this response and a lot of this is really helpful (especially #1). Regarding talking to your kid about race - do you have any resources you recommend here? Around what age did this start? My kids are in PK and Kinder and the systemic barriers stuff just seems too complex for them to understand at this point? But maybe I’m just not thinking about it right. They have a couple of books on race and racism that we’ve read but it doesn’t seem like enough (nor does it feel very personal).

As it stands now, they both will be the only white kids in their classes next year (we just got the lists) which is why this is so top of mind for me right now.

Also for those asking for the middle school - if this person answers, they’re likely narrowing their identity down to like fewer than 10 families. That’s asking a lot!

[Anonymous]

Your class lists may change quite a bit between now and then.

As kids get older, they can maintain a strong friendship perfectly well during the school day and they don't need their parents to befriend the other parents. It's age-appropriate to let them manage this. So no worries.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Would one (or all) of the people who wrote or +1’d that post about graduating from a title I elementary school be willing to do an AMA? We may be in this position. We’re having a wonderful experience at our title I school but more and more of the other white/UMC families leave every year - starting next year we’ll be one of just a couple left. I have a ton of questions about your experience.

Ask some questions! I would answer. We stayed at a Title 1 until 4th, I have lots of complicated thoughts about the school experience, about what to do for middle school, and about what makes a school "good enough." I also moved my younger kid to a very highly rated non-Title 1 DCPS and have lots of points of actual comparison.

PP here who asked for the AMA. Here are my questions (would be interested in answers from anyone with a child who actually had a kid go all the way through 4th or 5th grade at a title I school):

1) Were you able to make “family friends” via your kids school (where the kids were friends and the parents were friends) despite race/class/cultural differences? If yes, can you offer any tips on how to make that happen? If no, did you miss this?

2) Did your school have a lot of Spanish speaking families? Did your kid become friends with those kids? If so, how did you navigate the language barrier with those parents?

3) Did you talk to your kid about the racial differences at his school? About racism? About the dynamics of being the only white kid in the class? If so, at what age(s)? Did you bring it up or did they? Did they seem to notice or care? We’re there every any hiccups around being the only (or one of a very few) white kids?

I know that’s a lot - happy to also provide a burner email or something if you’d rather talk directly. The bolded are honestly my biggest questions. We’re in a situation where I’ve ended up friends/friendly with mostly the white/UMC families, and they are leaving at high rates, and I’m not having a lot of luck bonding with the families of color (despite my efforts). The language barrier has been huge, plus just some unexpected differences (ex: aftercare is dominated by white families, which I wouldn’t have guessed, some black families are housing insecure and move often, there seems to be less of a culture of scheduling time in advance to get together to play. Even weird things like the white families are all at the pool from 10 or 11 to 1 and the black families are there more in like the 2-6 window). I’m sure a lot of this is a skill issue on my part, and I want to do better and learn but I’m struggling a bit and don’t want my kids to be left out due to my own social limitations/awkwardness.

Oh and if you haven’t been at a title 1 through 4/5, please don’t respond. I myself was HORRIFIED when I asked the neighbor with a kid a little older if she knew a lot of the parents at the school (when my kids were toddlers) and she said “sure, all the white parents” and now that I’ve lived it, I’m seeing how that happens and how hard it is to swim against that tide.

I'm the PP with the teen, who attended our IB elementary and middle. I'll note that the "differences" between the kids included a mix of racial, cultural, immigration status, language, economic, learning differences, etc. My kid made friends easily with kids with all of those differences.

1. Adult/family friendships from school tended to be mostly exchanging phone numbers (usually each in each other's contacts only as "X's mom"), maybe following each other on social media to love posts, etc. Only a tiny handful of families became friends to the level of socializing outside of school events, and those families moved out of the area.

2. Yes, many Spanish-speaking families, and my kid made friends with them. For the parents I interacted with, again the social media mentioned above, and texting using Google Translate. And the universal language of cheering together on the sidelines!

3. In Pk4, my kid asked why their skin was different from everyone else's. I replied that, yeah, their skin might be lighter, but I bet their friends also liked XYZ activities, ABC foods, they were caring and liked school, etc. Kid agreed. It came up once or twice more in early elementary but passed quickly after similar conversations. There was an instance at school with another kid using a racial slur toward mine, but the staff shut that down right away and said they'd been having other issues with said kid.

In later elementary, my kid commented that, "in olden times, my friends wouldn't be allowed to play on the same playground with me," and they felt sad about that. We should all be so lucky to internalize injustice and inequity so young; it's easier than how we are now often unlearning unconscious bias.

In middle, my kid selected Spanish as their language specifically so they could better communicate with friends and teammates. They also *loved* going on outings with another family because that mom "makes THE BEST FOOD," and would spend hours in the kitchen trying to recreate dishes other friends brought for lunch (particularly West African).

If you'll post a burner email, I'm happy to reach out. Like the articulate PP who prompted this discussion, I've felt these experiences have had a huge impact on our whole family and on our community, and I do think about it a lot.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Would one (or all) of the people who wrote or +1’d that post about graduating from a title I elementary school be willing to do an AMA? We may be in this position. We’re having a wonderful experience at our title I school but more and more of the other white/UMC families leave every year - starting next year we’ll be one of just a couple left. I have a ton of questions about your experience.

Ask some questions! I would answer. We stayed at a Title 1 until 4th, I have lots of complicated thoughts about the school experience, about what to do for middle school, and about what makes a school "good enough." I also moved my younger kid to a very highly rated non-Title 1 DCPS and have lots of points of actual comparison.

PP here who asked for the AMA. Here are my questions (would be interested in answers from anyone with a child who actually had a kid go all the way through 4th or 5th grade at a title I school):

1) Were you able to make “family friends” via your kids school (where the kids were friends and the parents were friends) despite race/class/cultural differences? If yes, can you offer any tips on how to make that happen? If no, did you miss this?

Across race, yes, easy and a good thing for the kids, across class much less so. Lots of friendships between white, black and Asian parents at the school. Across class and language -- friendly dynamics at school and at school events, but not outside of school. I did make a huge effort to invite all the kids to our parties early on, which meant physically tracking down parents and putting invitations in their hands. It did work early on! As the kids got older, they dug into their small friend groups, which were homogeneous by class, and didn't include kids with non-native English speaking parents, unfortunately.

2) Did your school have a lot of Spanish speaking families? Did your kid become friends with those kids? If so, how did you navigate the language barrier with those parents?

Yes it did, and I found this very, very hard to overcome. The kids were friendly at school, but having deep friendships with parents across languages is very difficult. There was friendliness at school events, though. This group also didn't exist on the PTO, even though they are a plurality at the school. I'm sure some school manage this better than others. I think the school as an institution managed it well (many bilingual administrators and teachers, parents were supported), but social and PTO it was very segregated.

3) Did you talk to your kid about the racial differences at his school? About racism? About the dynamics of being the only white kid in the class? If so, at what age(s)? Did you bring it up or did they? Did they seem to notice or care? We’re there every any hiccups around being the only (or one of a very few) white kids?

Personally I think the parents care a lot more than the kids, especially when they are starting in that environment from PK. It's normal to them. Parents are the ones who are usually coming from more homogeneous environments so they feel weird. My kids never really mentioned it. Kids are born without biases!

The teachers did talk about race, black history month always celebrated the best of blackness, which was really nice to be exposed to, and the school celebrated the cultural heritages of the kids. They wanted the kids to be proud of their race and culture. I thought that was a really good thing for my kids to be exposed to!

I'm the PP that moved my kids to better schools later on (this is super identifying to the people who know me, but I moved one to a charter middle and another to a better DCPS school). Neither of my kids mentioned the new racial makeup of their classes, but both talk about how much more work they do in class now, how much more they learn, that they watch fewer screens and things like that. My older kid talks about it a LOT, because he barely worked in 4th grade and he's at BASIS now and has a tremendous amount of work. So his opinion of his elementary school has kind of changed, now that he's seen the other side. My younger son also says "there is less time to be bored."

[b]The new DCPS school is also less segregated and everyone is friendly to each other, maybe because there aren't language barriers and little things like the WhatsApp group truly includes every parent (which rarely happened at the old school).

I know at diverse schools, parents need to work a bit harder to engage with everyone across race, class and language. It takes more effort, and it was less perfect in our experience. It's easy for everyone to socially default to what they are used to, and the kids will cluster in classes by their ability, which ends up correlating with class (not race) more and more as they rise through the grades.

But the schools are a nice little microcosm in which to try, especially in a neighborhood school where presumably the families are actually neighbors. And kids do end up understanding more about the world, I think, when they go to a diverse school. I have no regrets about keeping our kid in through 4th! [/b]



I know that’s a lot - happy to also provide a burner email or something if you’d rather talk directly. The bolded are honestly my biggest questions. We’re in a situation where I’ve ended up friends/friendly with mostly the white/UMC families, and they are leaving at high rates, and I’m not having a lot of luck bonding with the families of color (despite my efforts). The language barrier has been huge, plus just some unexpected differences (ex: aftercare is dominated by white families, which I wouldn’t have guessed, some black families are housing insecure and move often, there seems to be less of a culture of scheduling time in advance to get together to play. Even weird things like the white families are all at the pool from 10 or 11 to 1 and the black families are there more in like the 2-6 window). I’m sure a lot of this is a skill issue on my part, and I want to do better and learn but I’m struggling a bit and don’t want my kids to be left out due to my own social limitations/awkwardness.

Oh and if you haven’t been at a title 1 through 4/5, please don’t respond. I myself was HORRIFIED when I asked the neighbor with a kid a little older if she knew a lot of the parents at the school (when my kids were toddlers) and she said “sure, all the white parents” and now that I’ve lived it, I’m seeing how that happens and how hard it is to swim against that tide.