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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Would one (or all) of the people who wrote or +1’d that post about graduating from a title I elementary school be willing to do an AMA? We may be in this position. We’re having a wonderful experience at our title I school but more and more of the other white/UMC families leave every year - starting next year we’ll be one of just a couple left. I have a ton of questions about your experience. [/quote]

Ask some questions! I would answer. We stayed at a Title 1 until 4th, I have lots of complicated thoughts about the school experience, about what to do for middle school, and about what makes a school "good enough." I also moved my younger kid to a very highly rated non-Title 1 DCPS and have lots of points of actual comparison. [/quote]

PP here who asked for the AMA. Here are my questions (would be interested in answers from anyone with a child who actually had a kid go all the way through 4th or 5th grade at a title I school):

1) Were you able to make “family friends” via your kids school (where the kids were friends and the parents were friends) despite race/class/cultural differences? [b]If yes, can you offer any tips on how to make that happen?[/b] If no, did you miss this?

2) Did your school have a lot of Spanish speaking families? Did your kid become friends with those kids? [b]If so, how did you navigate the language barrier with those parents?[/b]

3) Did you talk to your kid about the racial differences at his school? About racism? About the dynamics of being the only white kid in the class? If so, at what age(s)? Did you bring it up or did they? Did they seem to notice or care? We’re there every any hiccups around being the only (or one of a very few) white kids?

I know that’s a lot - happy to also provide a burner email or something if you’d rather talk directly. The bolded are honestly my biggest questions. We’re in a situation where I’ve ended up friends/friendly with mostly the white/UMC families, and they are leaving at high rates, and I’m not having a lot of luck bonding with the families of color (despite my efforts). The language barrier has been huge, plus just some unexpected differences (ex: aftercare is dominated by white families, which I wouldn’t have guessed, some black families are housing insecure and move often, there seems to be less of a culture of scheduling time in advance to get together to play. Even weird things like the white families are all at the pool from 10 or 11 to 1 and the black families are there more in like the 2-6 window). I’m sure a lot of this is a skill issue on my part, and I want to do better and learn but I’m struggling a bit and don’t want my kids to be left out due to my own social limitations/awkwardness.

Oh and if you haven’t been at a title 1 through 4/5, please don’t respond. I myself was HORRIFIED when I asked the neighbor with a kid a little older if she knew a lot of the parents at the school (when my kids were toddlers) and she said “sure, all the white parents” and now that I’ve lived it, I’m seeing how that happens and how hard it is to swim against that tide. [/quote]

1) yes, we made a number of good friends who might come to our house and a number of people who’ll I’ll text with and say hi to, but don’t intentionally spend time together. It took time and effort. As my kid got to be friends with their kids, I’d lean into play dates, and then invite the parent in for a beverage when they’d come pick up their kid. Honestly, I did feel suspicion at times from some Black families as I put myself out there, but some of those same people that (from my vantage point) seemed the least interested in being friendly initially are now good friends. If your school has sports teams, I’ve also found that has been a way to get to know more parents I wouldn’t otherwise. Field trips are another place where more parents show up. It is just a lot of putting yourself out there and being intentional about seeking out the non-white parents at school events. But, for me, I’ve really valued those friendships, and as trust was built, I’ve had some very direct conversations (and worked hard to really listen) about race with those Black parents that I have learned a lot from. 
2) we don’t have a big non-English speaking population at our school 
3) I’ve had a lot of conversations with my kid about race. I’ve done my best to talk about systemic issues and barriers and how that shows up in our neighborhood and at school. I’m really proud of how my kid thinks about these issues now (and that has evolved over time as they’ve gotten older). My child has two other white students in their classroom, so they’ve never been the only one.
4) we have stayed friends with families who’ve left, but it’s definitely never the same. I’m curious to see how dynamics change between the kids that are going to the feeder MS next year and the kids in the neighborhood who are at charters. It’s been fine during this 5th grade year, but I wonder if that will also drift over time. [/quote]

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