What makes responders on these boards say things like, "I'm sorry your kid didn't get in."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Serious question. We are adults who are trying to help our own kids and possibly the other kids, too?

Goes something like this (actual posts):

OP: What school would you not want your child to go to even if admitted.

Answer: Vanderbilt. Never believed a school from the south would be good. Plus they just bought a campus in New York City??? Seems sketch

RESPONDER: Sorry your kid didn't get in.

The answer about Vanderbilt is just as obnoxious and jerky as the response to it, if not more. Schools from the south can't be good? What elitist nonsense.

Obnoxious? Sure. But one disses a school, the other a kid.

Tomayto, tomahto. Plenty of other posters' kids go to the schools being dissed, which means their kids are effectively being dissed as well.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I've never uttered that sentiment in any form. But I suspect it's often a reaction to another poster's bizarrely strong opinion on a particular college. Again, I think it's a dumb thing to say to people. That said, I've sometimes wondered why some posters hold such zealous, almost emotional opinions on certain schools.

Holding an opinion about an institution which is zealous or not well founded is not the same as a direct insult to someone's kid. Just b/c someone says something someone doesn't like about a school their kid is attending or will attend doesn't mean it is okay to essentially say your kid must not have even gotten in there.

Who is arguing moral equivalency here?

The person who says, "I've never uttered that sentiment in any form. But I suspect it's often a reaction to another poster's bizarrely strong opinion on a particular college. Again, I think it's a dumb thing to say to people. That said, I've sometimes wondered why some posters hold such zealous, almost emotional opinions on certain schools."

Meaning the two are somehow related/intertwined.

I'm the one who wrote that. OP asked for an explanation, and I offered one. I thought I was pretty clear that I thought "sorry your kid didn't get in" responses are silly: "I think it's a dumb thing to say to people." In any event, nowhere did I ever say that they were the same thing or that the first thing justified the second. I think you're reading something into my post that isn't there.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I've never uttered that sentiment in any form. But I suspect it's often a reaction to another poster's bizarrely strong opinion on a particular college. Again, I think it's a dumb thing to say to people. That said, I've sometimes wondered why some posters hold such zealous, almost emotional opinions on certain schools.

Holding an opinion about an institution which is zealous or not well founded is not the same as a direct insult to someone's kid. Just b/c someone says something someone doesn't like about a school their kid is attending or will attend doesn't mean it is okay to essentially say your kid must not have even gotten in there.

Who is arguing moral equivalency here?

The person who says, "I've never uttered that sentiment in any form. But I suspect it's often a reaction to another poster's bizarrely strong opinion on a particular college. Again, I think it's a dumb thing to say to people. That said, I've sometimes wondered why some posters hold such zealous, almost emotional opinions on certain schools."

Meaning the two are somehow related/intertwined.

I'm the one who wrote that. OP asked for an explanation, and I offered one. I thought I was pretty clear that I thought "sorry your kid didn't get in" responses are silly: "I think it's a dumb thing to say to people." In any event, nowhere did I ever say that they were the same thing or that the first thing justified the second. I think you're reading something into my post that isn't there.

Not sure why you would post about when parents talk poorly about a school (more about that) than about the orig. question unless you saw a relationship bw the two.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I've never uttered that sentiment in any form. But I suspect it's often a reaction to another poster's bizarrely strong opinion on a particular college. Again, I think it's a dumb thing to say to people. That said, I've sometimes wondered why some posters hold such zealous, almost emotional opinions on certain schools.

Holding an opinion about an institution which is zealous or not well founded is not the same as a direct insult to someone's kid. Just b/c someone says something someone doesn't like about a school their kid is attending or will attend doesn't mean it is okay to essentially say your kid must not have even gotten in there.

Who is arguing moral equivalency here?

The person who says, "I've never uttered that sentiment in any form. But I suspect it's often a reaction to another poster's bizarrely strong opinion on a particular college. Again, I think it's a dumb thing to say to people. That said, I've sometimes wondered why some posters hold such zealous, almost emotional opinions on certain schools."

Meaning the two are somehow related/intertwined.

I'm the one who wrote that. OP asked for an explanation, and I offered one. I thought I was pretty clear that I thought "sorry your kid didn't get in" responses are silly: "I think it's a dumb thing to say to people." In any event, nowhere did I ever say that they were the same thing or that the first thing justified the second. I think you're reading something into my post that isn't there.

Not sure why you would post about when parents talk poorly about a school (more about that) than about the orig. question unless you saw a relationship bw the two.

OP asked for an explanation and I offered one. If my answer didn't have any "relationship" to OP's question, it would be . . . a typical DCUM post. Anyhow, I'm done with whatever this is. Be well.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You have to be kidding if you think parents of rejected kids aren’t bitter and aren’t gonna make purposefully negative comments about a college simply because they didn’t get in.

That’s fine. The question is about the person responding. They don’t know this for sure, so why would they post it? That is what the OP here is trying to find out.

I think it’s just people being mean, hoping that a response like that may get a triggered response.

[Anonymous]

OP, the petty pizzing contest posters on this very thread should tell you all you need to know.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You have to be kidding if you think parents of rejected kids aren’t bitter and aren’t gonna make purposefully negative comments about a college simply because they didn’t get in.

+1 That's the issue. The kinds of comments being responded to tend to be unnecessarily vicious, suggesting bitterness rather than any kind of rational or fair analysis.

+2
It's pretty clear cut. If someone makes an unnecessarily rude/mean/hostile comment about a school for no actual reason, then they should expect an equal reaction. I have no problem when an ahole is met with an in-kind response.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You have to be kidding if you think parents of rejected kids aren’t bitter and aren’t gonna make purposefully negative comments about a college simply because they didn’t get in.

+1 That's the issue. The kinds of comments being responded to tend to be unnecessarily vicious, suggesting bitterness rather than any kind of rational or fair analysis.

+2
It's pretty clear cut. If someone makes an unnecessarily rude/mean/hostile comment about a school for no actual reason, then they should expect an equal reaction. I have no problem when an ahole is met with an in-kind response.

Wow

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You have to be kidding if you think parents of rejected kids aren’t bitter and aren’t gonna make purposefully negative comments about a college simply because they didn’t get in.

That’s fine. The question is about the person responding. They don’t know this for sure, so why would they post it? That is what the OP here is trying to find out.

I think it’s just people being mean, hoping that a response like that may get a triggered response.

NP. I guess we look at this completely differently. IMO, if someone makes a rude, unfounded slam against a particular school (even one I'm not affiliated with in any way), they totally deserve a snarky response in return. *shrug*

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You have to be kidding if you think parents of rejected kids aren’t bitter and aren’t gonna make purposefully negative comments about a college simply because they didn’t get in.

+1 That's the issue. The kinds of comments being responded to tend to be unnecessarily vicious, suggesting bitterness rather than any kind of rational or fair analysis.

+2
It's pretty clear cut. If someone makes an unnecessarily rude/mean/hostile comment about a school for no actual reason, then they should expect an equal reaction. I have no problem when an ahole is met with an in-kind response.

Wow

Wow, what? You seem to think it's ok for one person to essentially troll - making inappropriate, stupid, and unnecessary comments about X school; but that it's NOT ok for someone to respond to them the same way?

[Anonymous]

Trolling

[Anonymous]

We're black. Our kids all scored within the medians on the schools where they were admitted and are attending. We were dead silent about where the kids were going to college after our first because he got into an ivy and graduated and the amount of hatred and passive aggression we received from other families was so, so gross. I really took a massive step back from the community and parent organizations because there was this sort of toxicity that came out. My youngest is attending a wonderful SLAC. My middle child attended a wonderful 7 sister's school. We are speaking on it. Full stop. I don't need the negativity and the kids don't either.

We've been called aloof and snobs. Oh well.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We're black. Our kids all scored within the medians on the schools where they were admitted and are attending. We were dead silent about where the kids were going to college after our first because he got into an ivy and graduated and the amount of hatred and passive aggression we received from other families was so, so gross. I really took a massive step back from the community and parent organizations because there was this sort of toxicity that came out. My youngest is attending a wonderful SLAC. My middle child attended a wonderful 7 sister's school. We are speaking on it. Full stop. I don't need the negativity and the kids don't either.

We've been called aloof and snobs. Oh well.

Did you post on the wrong thread? I’m curious which one you meant to post on.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Serious question. We are adults who are trying to help our own kids and possibly the other kids, too?

Goes something like this (actual posts):

OP: What school would you not want your child to go to even if admitted.

Answer: Vanderbilt. Never believed a school from the south would be good. Plus they just bought a campus in New York City??? Seems sketch

RESPONDER: Sorry your kid didn't get in.

I have a lot more trouble with the nasty jerk in the Answer comment than the person who posted "Sorry your kid didn't get in." I am truly disturbed by people who completely hate on a school. Why be nasty towards a school where people's children have chosen to go, for whatever reason? I'm not saying every post here should be glowing and positive and that is not really helpful, but to be truly hateful towards a school, particularly with the childish anti-Southern attitude, is awful.

The Responder post isn't very adult either but I get it. Snark deserves snark.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Serious question. We are adults who are trying to help our own kids and possibly the other kids, too?

Goes something like this (actual posts):

OP: What school would you not want your child to go to even if admitted.

Answer: Vanderbilt. Never believed a school from the south would be good. Plus they just bought a campus in New York City??? Seems sketch

RESPONDER: Sorry your kid didn't get in.

And why would someone share bigoted opinions like, "Never believed a school from the south would be good."