Help! I don’t know what else to say to this parent!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Maybe be generous and see if you can have her kid join you? If not then maybe open it up to the group directly like suggested previously. We need to help one another not shun people who need help.

I have generously offered to help one of the days, though. That’s the point.

Totally agree that was more than generous. No need to even respond anymore.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Message in public.
Hey - Lara needs help. I can step in Tuesday - can anyone help out on other days?

Nope! Why would OP have to do that?

The OP does not have to do that - but we all need support one time or another.

If all the moms are hanging out and not making eye contact - have others clearly understand that we are a village.

It is not keeping score.

OP is supporting her. If that mom wants support, she can ask the other ladies. It’s not on OP to do that.
And I’m just rolling my eyes at it takes a village.

[Anonymous]

It’s fully OK to not answer her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Message in public.
Hey - Lara needs help. I can step in Tuesday - can anyone help out on other days?

Nope! Why would OP have to do that?

The OP does not have to do that - but we all need support one time or another.

If all the moms are hanging out and not making eye contact - have others clearly understand that we are a village.

It is not keeping score.

OP is supporting her. If that mom wants support, she can ask the other ladies. It’s not on OP to do that.
And I’m just rolling my eyes at it takes a village.

Yes, this! Three days of childcare is a huge thing to ask for!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Maybe be generous and see if you can have her kid join you? If not then maybe open it up to the group directly like suggested previously. We need to help one another not shun people who need help.

I have generously offered to help one of the days, though. That’s the point.

I think the pushy mom found you!

[Anonymous]

She’s probably panicking because she has the easy day covered but is in the lurch for the half days. This is what PTO is for (her or the child’s father,) or grandparents, or friends, or somehow throwing money at the problem.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:She’s probably panicking because she has the easy day covered but is in the lurch for the half days. This is what PTO is for (her or the child’s father,) or grandparents, or friends, or somehow throwing money at the problem.

Exactly, she is just being pushy because she knows OPs plans.

[Anonymous]

Not sure where you are - there are a lot of college kids home looking for work. Encourage her to check the local listserve for a baby sitter.

[Anonymous]

Is she a single parent?

You don’t have to answer that because honestly, it’s not your concern. You told her how you could help and the rest is on her to sort out. You have no responsibility to this person and if she keeps pressing tell her she is. Say she’s being really pushy with it and you’re starting to be uncomfortable.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Is she a single parent?

You don’t have to answer that because honestly, it’s not your concern. You told her how you could help and the rest is on her to sort out. You have no responsibility to this person and if she keeps pressing tell her she is. Say she’s being really pushy with it and you’re starting to be uncomfortable.

Actually scratch my first question. Because a single parent would have had this managed.

[Anonymous]

I would help if the two kids are friends. I once had a girl for fife days (overnight) with us because her single mother working as a midwife in a hospital had to step in at short notice and couldn't find sombody to look after her 7year old daughter. Me and DH have flexible hours, our kids went to a half day sports camp during the whole week so me/DH had to look after this girl instead of working. But this mom was desperate so we helped.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would help if the two kids are friends. I once had a girl for fife days (overnight) with us because her single mother working as a midwife in a hospital had to step in at short notice and couldn't find sombody to look after her 7year old daughter. Me and DH have flexible hours, our kids went to a half day sports camp during the whole week so me/DH had to look after this girl instead of working. But this mom was desperate so we helped.

She is helping.....on Tuesday She has plans on other days and the other mom can figure out childcare for those.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Next week is my kindergarteners last week of school, which includes two full days and two half days. There is a group of us who casually chat at pickup. Weeks ago I mentioned that I had gotten the week off from work, and I was happy because we leave for a vacation that Saturday and I could pack Monday and Tuesday and was planning some special fun afternoons after school with DS for the half days. He usually goes with his grandparents on half days, so it would be a treat for both of us.

On Monday one of the moms texted me asking if I could take her son after school until 5:30pm on Tu, Wed, and Th, because her childcare fell through and she would be at a satellite office that week. I explained that I’d be happy to help on Tuesday, but reminded her about my plans with my son on Wed and Thur. I saw her at pickup yesterday and she practically BEGGED me to please include her son, that she was desperate. None of the other parents jumped in to help, not even the SAHM, and she didn’t ask them to help, either. I apologized, reconfirmed that I could help Tuesday, and left. She later texted me and her tone had noticeably changed because she tried to tell me “all” I was doing was activities with my son and he would appreciate having a friend along. I once again told her I couldn’t help.

I know I’ll see her today, and I have no clue what to say to shut this down without appearing cold to the other moms and without making things totally awkward going forward.

I understand both positions. Sometimes other families need help and OP is in a position to help.

OP: Have you asked your son if he would like a friend along ?

Regardless, OP is being generous by helping out for one day instead of three, but helping out another stressed out mom is a very kind act.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Next week is my kindergarteners last week of school, which includes two full days and two half days. There is a group of us who casually chat at pickup. Weeks ago I mentioned that I had gotten the week off from work, and I was happy because we leave for a vacation that Saturday and I could pack Monday and Tuesday and was planning some special fun afternoons after school with DS for the half days. He usually goes with his grandparents on half days, so it would be a treat for both of us.

On Monday one of the moms texted me asking if I could take her son after school until 5:30pm on Tu, Wed, and Th, because her childcare fell through and she would be at a satellite office that week. I explained that I’d be happy to help on Tuesday, but reminded her about my plans with my son on Wed and Thur. I saw her at pickup yesterday and she practically BEGGED me to please include her son, that she was desperate. None of the other parents jumped in to help, not even the SAHM, and she didn’t ask them to help, either. I apologized, reconfirmed that I could help Tuesday, and left. She later texted me and her tone had noticeably changed because she tried to tell me “all” I was doing was activities with my son and he would appreciate having a friend along. I once again told her I couldn’t help.

I know I’ll see her today, and I have no clue what to say to shut this down without appearing cold to the other moms and without making things totally awkward going forward.

I understand both positions. Sometimes other families need help and OP is in a position to help.

OP: Have you asked your son if he would like a friend along ?

Regardless, OP is being generous by helping out for one day instead of three, but helping out another stressed out mom is a very kind act.

The KINDERGARTNER would probably like it if a giraffe came along. It’s not his decision to make!

[Anonymous]

OP - YOU are afraid of appearing cold?
You need serious work on your resilience. You want your child to have resilience, right?