Burying the dead is one of the corporal acts of mercy so I need some help understanding this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:That might be a catholic thing, or specific to your faith. In my church, we don’t have the body or casket present, and we call it a memorial service.

The minister is not Catholic. He’s nondenominational Christian. They have funerals with the body all the time.

In fact, I’m Catholic and my parish would do the Mass for us free of charge, but we are three hours away and it would cost thousands to transport our relative’s body.

Thousands to transport cremated remains?

[Anonymous]

Drama queen alert!

Not offering is NOT the same as refusing. Jfc. I bet if you offered to pay for a service he’d be more open (and may not even take your money), but either way, this is a you problem.

Sorry for your loss.

[Anonymous]

Cremate the body and disperse the ashes in flowing water. Done and Done. Do not need a priest even. You can spread it by yourself and just bless the soul to have a good onwards journey.

No mortal remains are left in a significant manner that the living or the departed have any connection to the dead body.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We just had a death in our family. The deceased died indigent. All of us have scraped together funds for cremation and a very modest service. A relative is a minister at a small church very near where the deceased lived. He did not offer his services. As a result, we are incurring a cost of a service at funeral home or transporting the deceased an hour away to where a different relative is pastor at a church. I’m just struggling to understand.

How do we know your relative’s position on this? Did you ask them? We don’t know about your relative whatsoever.

[Anonymous]

OP is so immersed in their resentment that they can't even come up with the relevant facts.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP is so immersed in their resentment that they can't even come up with the relevant facts.

It sounds like a family problem, which commonly happens when a relative passes away. This needs to be addressed with the family member and not crowd sourced on an anonymous forum.

[Anonymous]

OP, do you really want someone you dislike this much eulogizing your deceased loved one?

He probably doesn’t want to get involved in the drama. He can tell there is going to be lots of drama. Unfortunately you aren’t going to let him escape that easily and are making the drama anyway!!! Lucky him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP is so immersed in their resentment that they can't even come up with the relevant facts.

It sounds like a family problem, which commonly happens when a relative passes away. This needs to be addressed with the family member and not crowd sourced on an anonymous forum.

DCUM is all about family problems! But we can only help if the problem is clearly laid out, and OP is unable to clarify essential facts.

[Anonymous]

Did anyone ASK the minister?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We just had a death in our family. The deceased died indigent. All of us have scraped together funds for cremation and a very modest service. A relative is a minister at a small church very near where the deceased lived. He did not offer his services. As a result, we are incurring a cost of a service at funeral home or transporting the deceased an hour away to where a different relative is pastor at a church. I’m just struggling to understand.

Oh wow can I relate. You can’t understand because it is unfathomable. We think family shares a value system but they don’t. This is a lesson I wish I had learned years ago.

[Anonymous]

OP: This is a rough crowd.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP: This is a rough crowd.

No, it’s a crowd that has no idea what the family member is thinking. If there was any semblance of a healthy family dynamic, op would ask the family member-pastor instead of asking strangers.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP: This is a rough crowd.

All we're asking is for an initial post that lays out all the facts, instead of a vague whine fest.

Was this minister asked? If he said no, does OP know the reasons?

[Anonymous]

You don't have to do everything this relative asked for (and didn't plan or pay for). You are kind for contributing for the cremation and a small simple service at the funeral home. Anything more than that is unnecessary.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We just had a death in our family. The deceased died indigent. All of us have scraped together funds for cremation and a very modest service. A relative is a minister at a small church very near where the deceased lived. He did not offer his services. As a result, we are incurring a cost of a service at funeral home or transporting the deceased an hour away to where a different relative is pastor at a church. I’m just struggling to understand.

Your relative is not adhering to the teachings of Christ.