Bedtime for middle schoolers and parents

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Unless there's a late sports practice etc, it's 8pm in room, she's usually lights out by 8:45-9. Alarm at 6:40. Parents to sleep at 9:30-9:45, alarms at 5am.

This was us. In HS, we stepped up to bedtime being "their grade" but they were usually in bed before those times.

~ in RVA where MS (Gr 6-8) bell is 8:35a-3:15p, HS bell is 9a-3:55p (but both DC did/do Early Bird/EC activities and are at school, by choice, by 7:30a).

[Anonymous]

On nights our oldest (6th) doesn't have later sports practices we try to have lights out at 8:30. We still have to wake him up at 7am. Other nights he has later practices then add shower/homework and it is closer to 10pm but usually not past that - more like 930/45.

I personally hate that the schedule is getting later because I like to wind down for a minute and head to bed early! Our 9yo still goes to bed at 8pm.

By the way, kids doctor said if we have to wake them up it means they likely are not getting enough sleep.

[Anonymous]

6th grader in bed at nine, but usually doesn't fall asleep until 10 or 10:15. Wakes up at 7 to 7:20. Same weekdays and weekends, but sometimes sleeps in til 8 on weekends.

We try to go to sleep at 11, but sometimes don't until 11:30. Get up at 7.

[Anonymous]

I’m shocked to hear some middle schoolers are going to bed before 9. That seems very early -for them to be compliant and willing

[Anonymous]

9 for my 8th grader except on one weeknight where she doesn’t get home from an activity until 9:15. Weekends are more flexible as she often sits until 10-11 for other families.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:9 for my 8th grader except on one weeknight where she doesn’t get home from an activity until 9:15. Weekends are more flexible as she often sits until 10-11 for other families.

Oh, and we go to bed 10:30ish, unless she’s out sitting then we wait up.

[Anonymous]

You are not the only ones, OP! Our 8th grader is up at 6AM, so her lights are out at 9PM, but it usually takes her about 30 minutes to actually fall asleep. Our 10-year-old goes to bed a little bit earlier, but his school doesn’t start until 915 so he typically sleeps until 7AM. My husband and I get in bed by 10 PM and are usually asleep by 10:30.
Any less sleep and we would all be miserable!

[Anonymous]

My 7th grader is supposed to be lights out at 10pm but she often struggles to fall asleep so I bet its more like 10:30 that she's actually asleep. She starts getting ready at 8:45/9 and is supposed to be in bed reading at 9:30. She gets up at 7. I also see texts from her friends at 11 or even later, so some kids are up super late. I'm normally in bed by 10ish but I read or watch TV till around 11. DH stays up late, normally in bed between 12-1.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Mine starts getting ready at 9:30. Gets in bed at 10/10:30.

Same but asleep by 10-10:30 awake on own at 6:45.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m shocked to hear some middle schoolers are going to bed before 9. That seems very early -for them to be compliant and willing

Not always compliant but banning tech in the bedroom is the place to start and beginning the nighttime routine well before helps set the stage. We also were strict on the "in bed" time but softer on actual "lights out." They read a lot of books but there were just as many nights that we'd be the ones putting a bookmark in the pages and turning out their lights when we were headed for bed....because they'd already fallen asleep.

I'm the RVA PP and I don't see how ya'll (and other localities) deal with wicked early start times for middle and high school. It's those growth spurt years of 7-10th grades when we found ours needed/wanted the most sleep. Since we couldn't control the morning start times....we made the adjustments on bedtime.

Ours did complain, kinda sorta...but now, not at all. It's not unusual for our entire house to be dark by 9:30p. 5-6am comes early!

[Anonymous]

OP here. My kids hockey friends have really late bed times 11pm or later most nights. Not sure how parents manage that. Plus they sometimes need to get up really early the next morning for games too. I am glad to know that I am not the only one who pushes consistent early bedtime.

[Anonymous]

HS starts late here (Loudoun) - tardy bell is at 9:30 and my teen leaves about 8:45am to drive to school (bus time was similar.) Even she is in her room by 10pm and either reads, or draws or listens to music. I am in bed by 10pm as well, and my middle schooler is in bed by 9:30pm.

[Anonymous]

My 6th grader doesn't really have a bedtime but he's usually in bed around 10-10:30, I couldn't imagine making him go to bed any earlier than that at his age.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:10pm and Im usually right behind. DH stays up until closer to midnight.

That's so odd you don't both go to bed at the same time.

[Anonymous]

7th graders: in bed by 9, read for a bit, asleep by 10. Me: in bed by 10:30, read for a bit, asleep by 11. We all get up at 6:15 on school days.