Did your "girls school" daughter date at all in high school?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My high school senior goes to a coed school and has close friends who are boys, and hasn't been on any dates. It's personality, not where they go to school.

I think that going to an all girls school makes it a little harder though. My daughter went to NCS (during covid, which didn't help). Many of her classmates dated boys from STA, but those girls typically were girls who had been at NCS for a long time (and thus had had many years to get to know the STA lifers); were involved in co-ed activities (music, theater, certain sports); and/or who were in a friend group with girls who could help them make those connections. My daughter just didn't have many opportunities to get to know guys at STA or other local schools (in part because she was always studying)!

She's a senior in college now and doesn't seem to have suffered any adverse effects from her lack of high school dating. In fact, starting college without a high school boyfriend gave her a more robust social life than many of her peers who were trying to maintain a long-distance relationship with a s/o (which seems to happen a lot more now than when I was in college).

I knew a lot of girls in “long distance” relationships who had very active “social” life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My high school senior goes to a coed school and has close friends who are boys, and hasn't been on any dates. It's personality, not where they go to school.

I think that going to an all girls school makes it a little harder though. My daughter went to NCS (during covid, which didn't help). Many of her classmates dated boys from STA, but those girls typically were girls who had been at NCS for a long time (and thus had had many years to get to know the STA lifers); were involved in co-ed activities (music, theater, certain sports); and/or who were in a friend group with girls who could help them make those connections. My daughter just didn't have many opportunities to get to know guys at STA or other local schools (in part because she was always studying)!

She's a senior in college now and doesn't seem to have suffered any adverse effects from her lack of high school dating. In fact, starting college without a high school boyfriend gave her a more robust social life than many of her peers who were trying to maintain a long-distance relationship with a s/o (which seems to happen a lot more now than when I was in college).

I knew a lot of girls in “long distance” relationships who had very active “social” life.

Ha! I'm sure.

[Anonymous]

DDs are in coed private and have had maybe 1 or 2 dates outside of prom/hoco.

I am not worried. They would like to date but not happened yet.

I am not worried.

[Anonymous]

I’m crossing my fingers my DS gets married by 30 so not so worried about years 14-18. Seems like a decade+ to get heartaches under your belt will be plenty. They are so immature now, so stupid, and so likely to change and grow. I love that we aren’t dating and have zero anticipation of that happening in the next year or so!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Nope—mine is in college and still hasn’t had a date—my kid would have been better off in coed for more interaction with boys in general.

For those who don’t get why lack of dating bugs some parents, a first heart break can be really tough and I would have preferred her to get than under her belt while living at home and having more parental support. I

This is a good point!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m crossing my fingers my DS gets married by 30 so not so worried about years 14-18. Seems like a decade+ to get heartaches under your belt will be plenty. They are so immature now, so stupid, and so likely to change and grow. I love that we aren’t dating and have zero anticipation of that happening in the next year or so!

Ditto

[Anonymous]

I went to a girls school and had a boyfriend for 1.5 years and just went to dances etc with friends after that. I don’t think it really stunts your social growth if you go out on the weekends (we were always at football/basketball/school musicals etc).

[Anonymous]

She'll have fun in college.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My high school senior goes to a coed school and has close friends who are boys, and hasn't been on any dates. It's personality, not where they go to school.

I think that going to an all girls school makes it a little harder though. My daughter went to NCS (during covid, which didn't help). Many of her classmates dated boys from STA, but those girls typically were girls who had been at NCS for a long time (and thus had had many years to get to know the STA lifers); were involved in co-ed activities (music, theater, certain sports); and/or who were in a friend group with girls who could help them make those connections. My daughter just didn't have many opportunities to get to know guys at STA or other local schools (in part because she was always studying)!

She's a senior in college now and doesn't seem to have suffered any adverse effects from her lack of high school dating. In fact, starting college without a high school boyfriend gave her a more robust social life than many of her peers who were trying to maintain a long-distance relationship with a s/o (which seems to happen a lot more now than when I was in college).

this is so funny to me because I went to ncs in the nineties and yes those were the ways to meet guys back then too. i had a couple boyfriends because I did government club and theater. only in dc does getting dressed up and debating a fake bill help you get a boyfriend, haha !!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:She'll have fun in college.

You'd think so but my daughter who went to an all girls HS is now intimidated by boys at college. Not so much academically, but definitely socially. She would have been better off in co-ed for social development.

[Anonymous]

The fact that single sex school students do not date and that is considered ordinary, should be a red flag.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The fact that single sex school students do not date and that is considered ordinary, should be a red flag.

Well according to several prior posters on here, it's totally normal (in fact preferable) to not date at all until college or beyond.

I can't tell what is ordinary or what is a red flag.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My daughter is an 18 year old senior at an all-girls school and hasn't dated at all. Well, technically she was asked to the prom last year by a platonic friend of a friend. She occasionally goes to parties with girlfriends and is pretty social but it's never led to any guy being interested in her or any texting or dates. I really think I'm accurate in this (no, she isn't hooking up with guys at parties). On the random occasion or two that a guy has texted her (maybe twice in high school?) she was super excited about it but it never went anywhere but a 2 or 3 text exchange.

I certainly don't know exactly who in her grade is dating but my impression is that it's about 10 girls---the extremely pretty ones--- and they serially date--sometimes dating a guy for a year, sometimes for a few months. These seem to be the only ones who date (to my knowledge as a mom). Lest I get called a creepy mom-stalker--I don't know any of this for sure. It's just my impression from what my daughter tells me, what other moms chat about, etc.

If you have (or better yet had) a daughter at an All-girls school was this their experience? It is just so different from my own. it does seem to be typical among her friend group (I'd say 1 of 6 have been on any dates in high school outside of being asked to a formal). Certainly there is nothing I can do about it but I'm just curious and can't really ask around in real life.

When did she turn 18?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The fact that single sex school students do not date and that is considered ordinary, should be a red flag.

Why? Almost none of the kids in my DC’s grade at a coed school are dating (including my DC and their 10+ person friend group).

Doing social activities in larger groups with friends seems to be the norm, not pairing off.

[Anonymous]

I think it is odd for parents to be so concerned about whether their children date in high school. I’d be more concerned about them developing thr tools to have healthy relationships, period. I didn’t date at all in high school but did in college and even more in law school and thereafter when I entered the workforce. There is absolutely NOTHING wrong with not dating in high school. I learned what I learned about boys and dating while I was in college and in law school and got married in my early thirties.