DEI and blaming feedback on racism

[Anonymous]

I'm Black and currently dealing with what I think is racism at work but it's not overt enough for me to call it out and I don't want to be labeled or have any issues with HR. The subtlety of it has led to depression and anxiety on my part.

I also have a family member who asserts that any slight towards her is racism which clearly isn't true.

There's no universally correct solution to OP's situation. The employees may genuinely be concerned they're being treated differently because of their race and OP may truly feel that it's not the case. But racism is real and Black people such as myself can't help but jump to the conclusion that it's happening because it's so pervasive. Most of us wish it's something we didn't have to consider at all.

The previous suggestion to document problematic behaviors for all employees is a good one as long as you do it every single time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Looking for some genuine advice and perhaps just ranting.

I am someone who definitely believes systemic rasism exists and is pervasive. But I also think it’s being used as a crutch and I don’t know how to reconcile the two.

I am a senior leader at my company. I have to make hard decisions on things, deciding how we move forward with strategy and where we invest. In other words, I have to say no a lot. I always work to explain my decisions and paths to getting to a yes. Most of the time folks are understanding. But in recent months I’ve had three separate times where I’ve had to say no or give feedback to a staff member of color (typically on the senior end of mid level). In each of these cases I’m met with the response that I’m being racist and only say no or taking action or whatever it might be because that staff member is Black. I am very careful to check my biases, and I’m confident that I would make the same decision regardless of who the staff member was given the circumstances. But it doesn’t stop accusations of racism from flying and a true guilt trip to get me to say yes.

I admit I may have more internal bias than I realize but I am confident racism was not at play in these decisions. It is had for me to not feel like I have to tip toe around these staff members for fear of being accused of racism… and that just makes things worse because then I am treating them differently.

I just feel like I’m damned if I do damned if I don’t in this situation.

So why are you allowing colleagues to accuse you of racism? If someone made an accusation like that at me, I'd be in the HR office faster than you could turn around.

Don't be such a wimp, OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, why did you title the post "DEI and blaming feedback on racism"? Why not just "blaming feedback on racism"

Is it because you view the black middle managers as there because of DEI? That is indicative to me of an issue.

But that’s the problem with DEI being part of hiring decisions.

Who said it was part of the hiring decisions? Who said that OPs work place even has a DEI program? Or if it does, that it extends to hiring? Or that it extended to hiring the blacks OP is dealing with. In fact DEI isn't mentioned at all in the text of the OP. OP clearly sees blacks faces and thinks "DEI" apparently.

OP's entire way of framing the topic lends credence to the allegations of that he/she is racist.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, why did you title the post "DEI and blaming feedback on racism"? Why not just "blaming feedback on racism"

Is it because you view the black middle managers as there because of DEI? That is indicative to me of an issue.

But that’s the problem with DEI being part of hiring decisions.

Who said it was part of the hiring decisions? Who said that OPs work place even has a DEI program? Or if it does, that it extends to hiring? Or that it extended to hiring the blacks OP is dealing with. In fact DEI isn't mentioned at all in the text of the OP. OP clearly sees blacks faces and thinks "DEI" apparently.

OP's entire way of framing the topic lends credence to the allegations of that he/she is racist.

I don't think it lends credence to accusations of racism. But, why don't we ask?

OP, why did you include DEI in the topic line if you didn't address it in the body?

[Anonymous]

So three different POC have come forward with this? You’ve heard the saying about aholes right? Maybe it IS rooted in some truth.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Looking for some genuine advice and perhaps just ranting.

I am someone who definitely believes systemic rasism exists and is pervasive. But I also think it’s being used as a crutch and I don’t know how to reconcile the two.

I am a senior leader at my company. I have to make hard decisions on things, deciding how we move forward with strategy and where we invest. In other words, I have to say no a lot. I always work to explain my decisions and paths to getting to a yes. Most of the time folks are understanding. But in recent months I’ve had three separate times where I’ve had to say no or give feedback to a staff member of color (typically on the senior end of mid level). In each of these cases I’m met with the response that I’m being racist and only say no or taking action or whatever it might be because that staff member is Black. I am very careful to check my biases, and I’m confident that I would make the same decision regardless of who the staff member was given the circumstances. But it doesn’t stop accusations of racism from flying and a true guilt trip to get me to say yes.

I admit I may have more internal bias than I realize but I am confident racism was not at play in these decisions. It is had for me to not feel like I have to tip toe around these staff members for fear of being accused of racism… and that just makes things worse because then I am treating them differently.

I just feel like I’m damned if I do damned if I don’t in this situation.

Troll. What does aiming for a diverse workforce (diversity) and you not being racist (equality and inclusion) have to do w idiots who cant take criticism? No "senior leader" would conflate that or need to come here to get help on ignoring annoying people. Damned if you do or dont do what? You are a troll and yes you sound racist.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, why did you title the post "DEI and blaming feedback on racism"? Why not just "blaming feedback on racism"

Is it because you view the black middle managers as there because of DEI? That is indicative to me of an issue.

But that’s the problem with DEI being part of hiring decisions.

Who said it was part of the hiring decisions? Who said that OPs work place even has a DEI program? Or if it does, that it extends to hiring? Or that it extended to hiring the blacks OP is dealing with. In fact DEI isn't mentioned at all in the text of the OP. OP clearly sees blacks faces and thinks "DEI" apparently.

OP's entire way of framing the topic lends credence to the allegations of that he/she is racist.

it doesnt make sense bc OP is a troll and it is fake. and they are def racist

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Looking for some genuine advice and perhaps just ranting.

I am someone who definitely believes systemic rasism exists and is pervasive. But I also think it’s being used as a crutch and I don’t know how to reconcile the two.

I am a senior leader at my company. I have to make hard decisions on things, deciding how we move forward with strategy and where we invest. In other words, I have to say no a lot. I always work to explain my decisions and paths to getting to a yes. Most of the time folks are understanding. But in recent months I’ve had three separate times where I’ve had to say no or give feedback to a staff member of color (typically on the senior end of mid level). In each of these cases I’m met with the response that I’m being racist and only say no or taking action or whatever it might be because that staff member is Black. I am very careful to check my biases, and I’m confident that I would make the same decision regardless of who the staff member was given the circumstances. But it doesn’t stop accusations of racism from flying and a true guilt trip to get me to say yes.

I admit I may have more internal bias than I realize but I am confident racism was not at play in these decisions. It is had for me to not feel like I have to tip toe around these staff members for fear of being accused of racism… and that just makes things worse because then I am treating them differently.

I just feel like I’m damned if I do damned if I don’t in this situation.

Troll. What does aiming for a diverse workforce (diversity) and you not being racist (equality and inclusion) have to do w idiots who cant take criticism? No "senior leader" would conflate that or need to come here to get help on ignoring annoying people. Damned if you do or dont do what? You are a troll and yes you sound racist.

You sound like a troll, PP. You obviously don't understand workplace dynamics and accusations of racism.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, why did you title the post "DEI and blaming feedback on racism"? Why not just "blaming feedback on racism"

Is it because you view the black middle managers as there because of DEI? That is indicative to me of an issue.

But that’s the problem with DEI being part of hiring decisions.

Who said it was part of the hiring decisions? Who said that OPs work place even has a DEI program? Or if it does, that it extends to hiring? Or that it extended to hiring the blacks OP is dealing with. In fact DEI isn't mentioned at all in the text of the OP. OP clearly sees blacks faces and thinks "DEI" apparently.

OP's entire way of framing the topic lends credence to the allegations of that he/she is racist.

No one said this but given the recent DEI movement, there is a high likelihood that OP’s workplace has some sort of DEI policy and it’s factored into hiring decisions.

In recent years there are blue chip companies that have declined hiring a candidate because they are “not diverse.” People hear about this stuff and there are consequences to discriminating against certain races or genders when hiring.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, why did you title the post "DEI and blaming feedback on racism"? Why not just "blaming feedback on racism"

Is it because you view the black middle managers as there because of DEI? That is indicative to me of an issue.

But that’s the problem with DEI being part of hiring decisions.

+1. Seriously people need to get real - it necessarily follows from having DEI and affirmative action policies that people will assume/question that DEI or affirmative action is part of the reason a minority is hired or admitted or whatever. I’m Black and am sick of liberals pretending like these policies don’t have an awful stigma/downside for us supposed “beneficiaries.”

This is definitely happening. I’m fairly liberal and understand DEI. However recently joined a company with diverse managers and the first thought that went through my head is how most are unqualified and it must be DEI. I guess I’m racist but if I’m a white mostly liberal woman thinking this I can’t be the only one.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, why did you title the post "DEI and blaming feedback on racism"? Why not just "blaming feedback on racism"

Is it because you view the black middle managers as there because of DEI? That is indicative to me of an issue.

But that’s the problem with DEI being part of hiring decisions.

+1. Seriously people need to get real - it necessarily follows from having DEI and affirmative action policies that people will assume/question that DEI or affirmative action is part of the reason a minority is hired or admitted or whatever. I’m Black and am sick of liberals pretending like these policies don’t have an awful stigma/downside for us supposed “beneficiaries.”

This is definitely happening. I’m fairly liberal and understand DEI. However recently joined a company with diverse managers and the first thought that went through my head is how most are unqualified and it must be DEI. I guess I’m racist but if I’m a white mostly liberal woman thinking this I can’t be the only one.

Well then you're dumb. Do you know how many unqualified white people I work with? People get hired and move up for all sorts of reasons that have nothing to do with race but sure..
. Let. confirmation bias to drive your racial bias

[Anonymous]

Disagree with the commenters stating if there are three employees, then the issue is you. There may be a pattern, but it is not necessarily on you. Review hospital timecard comment.

This site is not likely to provide the type of feedback and assistance to actually help you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, why did you title the post "DEI and blaming feedback on racism"? Why not just "blaming feedback on racism"

Is it because you view the black middle managers as there because of DEI? That is indicative to me of an issue.

But that’s the problem with DEI being part of hiring decisions.

+1. Seriously people need to get real - it necessarily follows from having DEI and affirmative action policies that people will assume/question that DEI or affirmative action is part of the reason a minority is hired or admitted or whatever. I’m Black and am sick of liberals pretending like these policies don’t have an awful stigma/downside for us supposed “beneficiaries.”

This is definitely happening. I’m fairly liberal and understand DEI. However recently joined a company with diverse managers and the first thought that went through my head is how most are unqualified and it must be DEI. I guess I’m racist but if I’m a white mostly liberal woman thinking this I can’t be the only one.

Well then you're dumb. Do you know how many unqualified white people I work with? People get hired and move up for all sorts of reasons that have nothing to do with race but sure..
. Let. confirmation bias to drive your racial bias

I think most of us don't have a lot of data points to draw on and we generalize from that limited data. How many supervisors will most of us have in a lifetime? I've worked for white men and women and black women. Those who were made managers (supervisors) based on something other than actual experience, e.g., DEI, attrition, nepotism, friends with leadership, incumbent in position made supervisory, etc., didn't have much of anything to draw on when new, even basic, situations emerged. Almost all of those "green" managers responded to additional stress by becoming anxious and mean. At this point, when I consider a new role, I look at the manager's experience and the manager's personality.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So three different POC have come forward with this? You’ve heard the saying about aholes right? Maybe it IS rooted in some truth.

I'm still wondering this. Is it three people in separate incidents?

At the very least, if you've got 3 people accusing you of racism then HR is staring at you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, why did you title the post "DEI and blaming feedback on racism"? Why not just "blaming feedback on racism"

Is it because you view the black middle managers as there because of DEI? That is indicative to me of an issue.

But that’s the problem with DEI being part of hiring decisions.

+1. Seriously people need to get real - it necessarily follows from having DEI and affirmative action policies that people will assume/question that DEI or affirmative action is part of the reason a minority is hired or admitted or whatever. I’m Black and am sick of liberals pretending like these policies don’t have an awful stigma/downside for us supposed “beneficiaries.”

This is definitely happening. I’m fairly liberal and understand DEI. However recently joined a company with diverse managers and the first thought that went through my head is how most are unqualified and it must be DEI. I guess I’m racist but if I’m a white mostly liberal woman thinking this I can’t be the only one.

You are. But it’s nothing new. Even before DEI was a thing, black managers faced the same assumptions and prejudice. A lot of whites just don’t believe that a black person in a management position is qualified. It’s racism. DEI is just the new excuse for it.