DEI and blaming feedback on racism

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am BIPOC but not Black. I totally feel you OP. Agree with the PPs that it is natural for some people to try to use DEI efforts to their advantage. Definitely had a coworker who did this, was one of the most outspoken DEI advocates and was later fired because they were caught stealing. These people are the worst.

I think it is also legitimately difficult to tell when bias occurs, and we do know that it does happen. The problem is you can rarely prove it. Current DEI thinking tries to counter this by asserting that BIPOC people especially Black people are constantly mistreated in the workplace. Anyone who questions this thinking is thought of as a barrier to anti-racism efforts. So as a BIPOC person I am constantly being told I am facing microaggressions based on my race and I'm being prompted to try and think of them. Actually, I am not being constantly mistreated, and I think isolated instances of mistreatment I experienced were based on factors other than my race.

I have another coworker who has basically said she thinks she is smarter than everyone else because she is Black and had to overcome more to get here. She dismisses most criticism as racism and ignores our feedback and contributions. She is actually really smart but she's not always right! And I can point to specific ways in which she is treated much better than I am.

Regarding being able to tell, both internally and externally when bias occurs, I can understand completely how to catch internal bias. But how can one tell when one is free of internal bias? Also is there a way to convey that to someone else? Are all people racist or are some people not, and if not, what enables a person to say, “This person is not racist?”

Everyone has biases and commits micro aggressions. The question is do you make efforts to avoid doing so?

I do. But how do I tell if others do? A person who is racist and a person who is not racist will probably both say that they make efforts to avoid biases. So how can a person tell who is racist and who isn’t?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm Black and currently dealing with what I think is racism at work but it's not overt enough for me to call it out and I don't want to be labeled or have any issues with HR. The subtlety of it has led to depression and anxiety on my part.

I also have a family member who asserts that any slight towards her is racism which clearly isn't true.

There's no universally correct solution to OP's situation. The employees may genuinely be concerned they're being treated differently because of their race and OP may truly feel that it's not the case. But racism is real and Black people such as myself can't help but jump to the conclusion that it's happening because it's so pervasive. Most of us wish it's something we didn't have to consider at all.

The previous suggestion to document problematic behaviors for all employees is a good one as long as you do it every single time.

It’s so hard to tell what is and isn’t racism when it’s so easy to hide meanness or ill-intent and so difficult to prove genuine kindness.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am BIPOC but not Black. I totally feel you OP. Agree with the PPs that it is natural for some people to try to use DEI efforts to their advantage. Definitely had a coworker who did this, was one of the most outspoken DEI advocates and was later fired because they were caught stealing. These people are the worst.

I think it is also legitimately difficult to tell when bias occurs, and we do know that it does happen. The problem is you can rarely prove it. Current DEI thinking tries to counter this by asserting that BIPOC people especially Black people are constantly mistreated in the workplace. Anyone who questions this thinking is thought of as a barrier to anti-racism efforts. So as a BIPOC person I am constantly being told I am facing microaggressions based on my race and I'm being prompted to try and think of them. Actually, I am not being constantly mistreated, and I think isolated instances of mistreatment I experienced were based on factors other than my race.

I have another coworker who has basically said she thinks she is smarter than everyone else because she is Black and had to overcome more to get here. She dismisses most criticism as racism and ignores our feedback and contributions. She is actually really smart but she's not always right! And I can point to specific ways in which she is treated much better than I am.

Regarding being able to tell, both internally and externally when bias occurs, I can understand completely how to catch internal bias. But how can one tell when one is free of internal bias? Also is there a way to convey that to someone else? Are all people racist or are some people not, and if not, what enables a person to say, “This person is not racist?”

Everyone has biases and commits micro aggressions. The question is do you make efforts to avoid doing so?

I do. But how do I tell if others do? A person who is racist and a person who is not racist will probably both say that they make efforts to avoid biases. So how can a person tell who is racist and who isn’t?

Everyone is racist, and it is hard to tell who is going to be most anti-racist or inclusive. My boss is a fairly gruff person who does not come across as remotely woke but he is a good listener who grants people autonomy after they prove themselves and I think that can promote equity. Also he is pretty big on following EEO rules and avoiding any appearance of discrimination in hiring, yeah probably what motivates him is not getting sued but I think that also prevents some issues. In contrast I have a very "woke" coworker who is terrible to work with because he thinks he is smarter than everyone and just ignores the team he is supposed to be leading and does his own thing and that is not inclusive or helpful.

One sign of inclusivity is if you observe that person X says something is dumb and person Y calls them on it and person X genuinely accepts the criticism as a learning experience and thanks person Y for calling them out, then person X is possibly someone who can promote an inclusive working environment.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am BIPOC but not Black. I totally feel you OP. Agree with the PPs that it is natural for some people to try to use DEI efforts to their advantage. Definitely had a coworker who did this, was one of the most outspoken DEI advocates and was later fired because they were caught stealing. These people are the worst.

I think it is also legitimately difficult to tell when bias occurs, and we do know that it does happen. The problem is you can rarely prove it. Current DEI thinking tries to counter this by asserting that BIPOC people especially Black people are constantly mistreated in the workplace. Anyone who questions this thinking is thought of as a barrier to anti-racism efforts. So as a BIPOC person I am constantly being told I am facing microaggressions based on my race and I'm being prompted to try and think of them. Actually, I am not being constantly mistreated, and I think isolated instances of mistreatment I experienced were based on factors other than my race.

I have another coworker who has basically said she thinks she is smarter than everyone else because she is Black and had to overcome more to get here. She dismisses most criticism as racism and ignores our feedback and contributions. She is actually really smart but she's not always right! And I can point to specific ways in which she is treated much better than I am.

Regarding being able to tell, both internally and externally when bias occurs, I can understand completely how to catch internal bias. But how can one tell when one is free of internal bias? Also is there a way to convey that to someone else? Are all people racist or are some people not, and if not, what enables a person to say, “This person is not racist?”

Everyone has biases and commits micro aggressions. The question is do you make efforts to avoid doing so?

I do. But how do I tell if others do? A person who is racist and a person who is not racist will probably both say that they make efforts to avoid biases. So how can a person tell who is racist and who isn’t?

Everyone is racist, and it is hard to tell who is going to be most anti-racist or inclusive. My boss is a fairly gruff person who does not come across as remotely woke but he is a good listener who grants people autonomy after they prove themselves and I think that can promote equity. Also he is pretty big on following EEO rules and avoiding any appearance of discrimination in hiring, yeah probably what motivates him is not getting sued but I think that also prevents some issues. In contrast I have a very "woke" coworker who is terrible to work with because he thinks he is smarter than everyone and just ignores the team he is supposed to be leading and does his own thing and that is not inclusive or helpful.

One sign of inclusivity is if you observe that person X says something is dumb and person Y calls them on it and person X genuinely accepts the criticism as a learning experience and thanks person Y for calling them out, then person X is possibly someone who can promote an inclusive working environment.

I get what you're saying, PP, but that inclusivity example makes me cringe. I won't say it's dumb, because, see your example, but I wonder if person Y isn't too keen on calling out, and embarrassing, person X in order to show superiority. However, if person Y says something to person X in a respectful, non charged environment, X may be able to hear Y's feedback more clearly.

[Anonymous]

no, turns out we arent stupid. we are aware of racism on our own w/o being told. we know bc we expeience it.q when we tell you about it we are not secretly referencing folks being mean or otherwise unpleasent

Anonymous wrote:AAs are being told over and over that everything bad is a result of racism. Eventually there’s some sort of consequence from this. They are being told they are victims and believe it. When their mean white boss tells them they are doing something wrong their subconscious mind is going to jump to “racism.”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, why did you title the post "DEI and blaming feedback on racism"? Why not just "blaming feedback on racism"

Is it because you view the black middle managers as there because of DEI? That is indicative to me of an issue.

But that’s the problem with DEI being part of hiring decisions.

+1. Seriously people need to get real - it necessarily follows from having DEI and affirmative action policies that people will assume/question that DEI or affirmative action is part of the reason a minority is hired or admitted or whatever. I’m Black and am sick of liberals pretending like these policies don’t have an awful stigma/downside for us supposed “beneficiaries.”

This is definitely happening. I’m fairly liberal and understand DEI. However recently joined a company with diverse managers and the first thought that went through my head is how most are unqualified and it must be DEI. I guess I’m racist but if I’m a white mostly liberal woman thinking this I can’t be the only one.

One can be "fairly liberal" and racist as the two are not mutually exclusive. And I think we all know examples of unqualified white managers. Maybe these managers are there bc of there logic skills

[Anonymous]

Black person here. Just plain black.

In plain language, why create drama with a senior/mid level manager just to stand on your power to say "no" or a narrowly constructed pathway to yes?

Rather than bring DEI (or any other acronym) into the discussion, I'd offer that your repeated "no" responses reflect a lack of trust in the manager.

You lack vision for how their request just might move the needle closer to the organization reaching larger goals.

Or you may be a micromanager.

The problem is you, not them.

Even if you don't agree with the "how" why not try saying yes and trusting the training, experience, and knowledge the person brings to the table. Tell them that they are a responsible for producing evidence of progress and goal attainment. Give clear expectations for how you will measure success.m (or what success looks like).

Then say no. But repeated no's from you will not encourage collaboration or trust on either side. Your reputation for being unbearable will precede you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am BIPOC but not Black. I totally feel you OP. Agree with the PPs that it is natural for some people to try to use DEI efforts to their advantage. Definitely had a coworker who did this, was one of the most outspoken DEI advocates and was later fired because they were caught stealing. These people are the worst.

I think it is also legitimately difficult to tell when bias occurs, and we do know that it does happen. The problem is you can rarely prove it. Current DEI thinking tries to counter this by asserting that BIPOC people especially Black people are constantly mistreated in the workplace. Anyone who questions this thinking is thought of as a barrier to anti-racism efforts. So as a BIPOC person I am constantly being told I am facing microaggressions based on my race and I'm being prompted to try and think of them. Actually, I am not being constantly mistreated, and I think isolated instances of mistreatment I experienced were based on factors other than my race.

I have another coworker who has basically said she thinks she is smarter than everyone else because she is Black and had to overcome more to get here. She dismisses most criticism as racism and ignores our feedback and contributions. She is actually really smart but she's not always right! And I can point to specific ways in which she is treated much better than I am.

Regarding being able to tell, both internally and externally when bias occurs, I can understand completely how to catch internal bias. But how can one tell when one is free of internal bias? Also is there a way to convey that to someone else? Are all people racist or are some people not, and if not, what enables a person to say, “This person is not racist?”

Everyone has biases and commits micro aggressions. The question is do you make efforts to avoid doing so?

I do. But how do I tell if others do? A person who is racist and a person who is not racist will probably both say that they make efforts to avoid biases. So how can a person tell who is racist and who isn’t?

Everyone is racist, and it is hard to tell who is going to be most anti-racist or inclusive. My boss is a fairly gruff person who does not come across as remotely woke but he is a good listener who grants people autonomy after they prove themselves and I think that can promote equity. Also he is pretty big on following EEO rules and avoiding any appearance of discrimination in hiring, yeah probably what motivates him is not getting sued but I think that also prevents some issues. In contrast I have a very "woke" coworker who is terrible to work with because he thinks he is smarter than everyone and just ignores the team he is supposed to be leading and does his own thing and that is not inclusive or helpful.

One sign of inclusivity is if you observe that person X says something is dumb and person Y calls them on it and person X genuinely accepts the criticism as a learning experience and thanks person Y for calling them out, then person X is possibly someone who can promote an inclusive working environment.

I really appreciate this thoughtful, collaborative response. In the same vein, I wonder about the difference in levels of racism between the “everyone’s racist” and the “labeled a racist.” How do you know when a person is fairly or unfairly “labeled a racist”? As a bystander, I see this periodically where someone who is trying not to be racist — NOT a Donald Trump type — more an AOC type — is accused of being racist including by upholding systemic racism. I’ve seen people take sides, the language get ugly with people trying to judge the “actual” intent with no one actually being able to tell who’s right. Even the accused is told s/he doesn’t fully know his/her actual intent. Admittedly, this has happened on adjacent teams, and I don’t know what I’d do if it happened on mine.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am BIPOC but not Black. I totally feel you OP. Agree with the PPs that it is natural for some people to try to use DEI efforts to their advantage. Definitely had a coworker who did this, was one of the most outspoken DEI advocates and was later fired because they were caught stealing. These people are the worst.

I think it is also legitimately difficult to tell when bias occurs, and we do know that it does happen. The problem is you can rarely prove it. Current DEI thinking tries to counter this by asserting that BIPOC people especially Black people are constantly mistreated in the workplace. Anyone who questions this thinking is thought of as a barrier to anti-racism efforts. So as a BIPOC person I am constantly being told I am facing microaggressions based on my race and I'm being prompted to try and think of them. Actually, I am not being constantly mistreated, and I think isolated instances of mistreatment I experienced were based on factors other than my race.

I have another coworker who has basically said she thinks she is smarter than everyone else because she is Black and had to overcome more to get here. She dismisses most criticism as racism and ignores our feedback and contributions. She is actually really smart but she's not always right! And I can point to specific ways in which she is treated much better than I am.

Regarding being able to tell, both internally and externally when bias occurs, I can understand completely how to catch internal bias. But how can one tell when one is free of internal bias? Also is there a way to convey that to someone else? Are all people racist or are some people not, and if not, what enables a person to say, “This person is not racist?”

Everyone has biases and commits micro aggressions. The question is do you make efforts to avoid doing so?

I do. But how do I tell if others do? A person who is racist and a person who is not racist will probably both say that they make efforts to avoid biases. So how can a person tell who is racist and who isn’t?

Everyone is racist, and it is hard to tell who is going to be most anti-racist or inclusive. My boss is a fairly gruff person who does not come across as remotely woke but he is a good listener who grants people autonomy after they prove themselves and I think that can promote equity. Also he is pretty big on following EEO rules and avoiding any appearance of discrimination in hiring, yeah probably what motivates him is not getting sued but I think that also prevents some issues. In contrast I have a very "woke" coworker who is terrible to work with because he thinks he is smarter than everyone and just ignores the team he is supposed to be leading and does his own thing and that is not inclusive or helpful.

One sign of inclusivity is if you observe that person X says something is dumb and person Y calls them on it and person X genuinely accepts the criticism as a learning experience and thanks person Y for calling them out, then person X is possibly someone who can promote an inclusive working environment.

I really appreciate this thoughtful, collaborative response. In the same vein, I wonder about the difference in levels of racism between the “everyone’s racist” and the “labeled a racist.” How do you know when a person is fairly or unfairly “labeled a racist”? As a bystander, I see this periodically where someone who is trying not to be racist — NOT a Donald Trump type — more an AOC type — is accused of being racist including by upholding systemic racism. I’ve seen people take sides, the language get ugly with people trying to judge the “actual” intent with no one actually being able to tell who’s right. Even the accused is told s/he doesn’t fully know his/her actual intent. Admittedly, this has happened on adjacent teams, and I don’t know what I’d do if it happened on mine.

Oof sorry that's happening. That sounds horribly toxic and unfortunately very common. I think people who are accusing others of having bad intent if good intent is the most likely that is really counterproductive. They should focus on impact and say "I know your intent was good but the impact was bad because XYZ". Also address the issue in a way that is compassionate to the person they are calling out. I personally think these conversations should really be one on one and then allow the person being called out to address the group afterwards if appropriate. I've seen cases where a person (usually White) gets called out in a group and then a bunch of people child in to pile on and it's really not helpful at all.

What ends up happening is all the White people clam up and decide not to talk about race ever because nobody wants to go through that humiliation, and they also get very closed off to implementing racial equity in their work because they have been taught they are incapable of understanding racism and racial equity. And it's BS because BIPOC people can also be very ignorant about other people and cultures, but in these settings they can't be called out in the same way.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am BIPOC but not Black. I totally feel you OP. Agree with the PPs that it is natural for some people to try to use DEI efforts to their advantage. Definitely had a coworker who did this, was one of the most outspoken DEI advocates and was later fired because they were caught stealing. These people are the worst.

I think it is also legitimately difficult to tell when bias occurs, and we do know that it does happen. The problem is you can rarely prove it. Current DEI thinking tries to counter this by asserting that BIPOC people especially Black people are constantly mistreated in the workplace. Anyone who questions this thinking is thought of as a barrier to anti-racism efforts. So as a BIPOC person I am constantly being told I am facing microaggressions based on my race and I'm being prompted to try and think of them. Actually, I am not being constantly mistreated, and I think isolated instances of mistreatment I experienced were based on factors other than my race.

I have another coworker who has basically said she thinks she is smarter than everyone else because she is Black and had to overcome more to get here. She dismisses most criticism as racism and ignores our feedback and contributions. She is actually really smart but she's not always right! And I can point to specific ways in which she is treated much better than I am.

Regarding being able to tell, both internally and externally when bias occurs, I can understand completely how to catch internal bias. But how can one tell when one is free of internal bias? Also is there a way to convey that to someone else? Are all people racist or are some people not, and if not, what enables a person to say, “This person is not racist?”

Everyone has biases and commits micro aggressions. The question is do you make efforts to avoid doing so?

I do. But how do I tell if others do? A person who is racist and a person who is not racist will probably both say that they make efforts to avoid biases. So how can a person tell who is racist and who isn’t?

Everyone is racist, and it is hard to tell who is going to be most anti-racist or inclusive. My boss is a fairly gruff person who does not come across as remotely woke but he is a good listener who grants people autonomy after they prove themselves and I think that can promote equity. Also he is pretty big on following EEO rules and avoiding any appearance of discrimination in hiring, yeah probably what motivates him is not getting sued but I think that also prevents some issues. In contrast I have a very "woke" coworker who is terrible to work with because he thinks he is smarter than everyone and just ignores the team he is supposed to be leading and does his own thing and that is not inclusive or helpful.

One sign of inclusivity is if you observe that person X says something is dumb and person Y calls them on it and person X genuinely accepts the criticism as a learning experience and thanks person Y for calling them out, then person X is possibly someone who can promote an inclusive working environment.

I get what you're saying, PP, but that inclusivity example makes me cringe. I won't say it's dumb, because, see your example, but I wonder if person Y isn't too keen on calling out, and embarrassing, person X in order to show superiority. However, if person Y says something to person X in a respectful, non charged environment, X may be able to hear Y's feedback more clearly.

I agree with you. My focus in my post was on person X, but absolutely person Y should try to be compassionate towards person X and that is often not what happens.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am BIPOC but not Black. I totally feel you OP. Agree with the PPs that it is natural for some people to try to use DEI efforts to their advantage. Definitely had a coworker who did this, was one of the most outspoken DEI advocates and was later fired because they were caught stealing. These people are the worst.

I think it is also legitimately difficult to tell when bias occurs, and we do know that it does happen. The problem is you can rarely prove it. Current DEI thinking tries to counter this by asserting that BIPOC people especially Black people are constantly mistreated in the workplace. Anyone who questions this thinking is thought of as a barrier to anti-racism efforts. So as a BIPOC person I am constantly being told I am facing microaggressions based on my race and I'm being prompted to try and think of them. Actually, I am not being constantly mistreated, and I think isolated instances of mistreatment I experienced were based on factors other than my race.

I have another coworker who has basically said she thinks she is smarter than everyone else because she is Black and had to overcome more to get here. She dismisses most criticism as racism and ignores our feedback and contributions. She is actually really smart but she's not always right! And I can point to specific ways in which she is treated much better than I am.

Regarding being able to tell, both internally and externally when bias occurs, I can understand completely how to catch internal bias. But how can one tell when one is free of internal bias? Also is there a way to convey that to someone else? Are all people racist or are some people not, and if not, what enables a person to say, “This person is not racist?”

Everyone has biases and commits micro aggressions. The question is do you make efforts to avoid doing so?

I do. But how do I tell if others do? A person who is racist and a person who is not racist will probably both say that they make efforts to avoid biases. So how can a person tell who is racist and who isn’t?

Everyone is racist, and it is hard to tell who is going to be most anti-racist or inclusive. My boss is a fairly gruff person who does not come across as remotely woke but he is a good listener who grants people autonomy after they prove themselves and I think that can promote equity. Also he is pretty big on following EEO rules and avoiding any appearance of discrimination in hiring, yeah probably what motivates him is not getting sued but I think that also prevents some issues. In contrast I have a very "woke" coworker who is terrible to work with because he thinks he is smarter than everyone and just ignores the team he is supposed to be leading and does his own thing and that is not inclusive or helpful.

One sign of inclusivity is if you observe that person X says something is dumb and person Y calls them on it and person X genuinely accepts the criticism as a learning experience and thanks person Y for calling them out, then person X is possibly someone who can promote an inclusive working environment.

I really appreciate this thoughtful, collaborative response. In the same vein, I wonder about the difference in levels of racism between the “everyone’s racist” and the “labeled a racist.” How do you know when a person is fairly or unfairly “labeled a racist”? As a bystander, I see this periodically where someone who is trying not to be racist — NOT a Donald Trump type — more an AOC type — is accused of being racist including by upholding systemic racism. I’ve seen people take sides, the language get ugly with people trying to judge the “actual” intent with no one actually being able to tell who’s right. Even the accused is told s/he doesn’t fully know his/her actual intent. Admittedly, this has happened on adjacent teams, and I don’t know what I’d do if it happened on mine.

Oof sorry that's happening. That sounds horribly toxic and unfortunately very common. I think people who are accusing others of having bad intent if good intent is the most likely that is really counterproductive. They should focus on impact and say "I know your intent was good but the impact was bad because XYZ". Also address the issue in a way that is compassionate to the person they are calling out. I personally think these conversations should really be one on one and then allow the person being called out to address the group afterwards if appropriate. I've seen cases where a person (usually White) gets called out in a group and then a bunch of people child in to pile on and it's really not helpful at all.

What ends up happening is all the White people clam up and decide not to talk about race ever because nobody wants to go through that humiliation, and they also get very closed off to implementing racial equity in their work because they have been taught they are incapable of understanding racism and racial equity. And it's BS because BIPOC people can also be very ignorant about other people and cultures, but in these settings they can't be called out in the same way.

This is a helpful post on a difficult topic. Thank you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Black person here. Just plain black.

In plain language, why create drama with a senior/mid level manager just to stand on your power to say "no" or a narrowly constructed pathway to yes?

Rather than bring DEI (or any other acronym) into the discussion, I'd offer that your repeated "no" responses reflect a lack of trust in the manager.

You lack vision for how their request just might move the needle closer to the organization reaching larger goals.

Or you may be a micromanager.

The problem is you, not them.

Even if you don't agree with the "how" why not try saying yes and trusting the training, experience, and knowledge the person brings to the table. Tell them that they are a responsible for producing evidence of progress and goal attainment. Give clear expectations for how you will measure success.m (or what success looks like).

Then say no. But repeated no's from you will not encourage collaboration or trust on either side. Your reputation for being unbearable will precede you.

That doesn’t always work. There may be limited resources or the proposal may be more risky than there’s controls for or someone may have had a better idea. Businesses are businesses; they don’t function if everyone can just choose their own adventure. That’s why there is leadership…

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Black person here. Just plain black.

In plain language, why create drama with a senior/mid level manager just to stand on your power to say "no" or a narrowly constructed pathway to yes?

Rather than bring DEI (or any other acronym) into the discussion, I'd offer that your repeated "no" responses reflect a lack of trust in the manager.

You lack vision for how their request just might move the needle closer to the organization reaching larger goals.

Or you may be a micromanager.

The problem is you, not them.

Even if you don't agree with the "how" why not try saying yes and trusting the training, experience, and knowledge the person brings to the table. Tell them that they are a responsible for producing evidence of progress and goal attainment. Give clear expectations for how you will measure success.m (or what success looks like).

Then say no. But repeated no's from you will not encourage collaboration or trust on either side. Your reputation for being unbearable will precede you.

In a previous role, anyone was free to submit ideas for new products but only 3-5 were built. That means thousands of no’s for every yes. It’s a bit of an extreme case, but it’s a clear one. We were lucky because the new product proposals were filed electronically such that no one could be accused of bias. In a different situation, I could certainly see someone whispering, “do you notice how none of the ideas came from people who are black?”

[Anonymous]

Just keep focusing on team productivity, fairness and morale.

If someone is an outlier to the downside, it doesn’t matter what race or creed or gender they are, they are holding back the team and company.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Looking for some genuine advice and perhaps just ranting.

I am someone who definitely believes systemic rasism exists and is pervasive. But I also think it’s being used as a crutch and I don’t know how to reconcile the two.

I am a senior leader at my company. I have to make hard decisions on things, deciding how we move forward with strategy and where we invest. In other words, I have to say no a lot. I always work to explain my decisions and paths to getting to a yes. Most of the time folks are understanding. But in recent months I’ve had three separate times where I’ve had to say no or give feedback to a staff member of color (typically on the senior end of mid level). In each of these cases I’m met with the response that I’m being racist and only say no or taking action or whatever it might be because that staff member is Black. I am very careful to check my biases, and I’m confident that I would make the same decision regardless of who the staff member was given the circumstances. But it doesn’t stop accusations of racism from flying and a true guilt trip to get me to say yes.

I admit I may have more internal bias than I realize but I am confident racism was not at play in these decisions. It is had for me to not feel like I have to tip toe around these staff members for fear of being accused of racism… and that just makes things worse because then I am treating them differently.

I just feel like I’m damned if I do damned if I don’t in this situation.

YOU are confident, that does not mean that you are not. Cold hard reality. Others would have to make this determination, not you.