Why don't men like wearing condoms or ask about STI when having hookups FWB or an app?

[Anonymous]

A big part of it is the perceived risk-reward ratio. For women there’s a higher risk to unprotected sex: pregnancy if she’s not on other BC and a higher STI burden (easier for women to get infected due to anatomy and being the receptive partner; often worse/more noticeable/more harmful symptoms). That’s paired with a lower reward: penetration often is not as pleasurable for women as for men; especially in casual encounters the climax gap is higher. And the difference in sensation between condom/ no condom for a woman is minimal, especially if there’s enough lubrication.

For men, on the other hand, they barely give a thought to pregnancy risk (happy to leave the burden on the woman). They don’t worry as much about STIs because a lot tend to be less symptomatic on men, less obvious, don’t threaten their fertility or they don’t worry about their future fertility, for example. Men get more out of sex, generally (they usually climax from PIV), and the difference in sensation between condom and no condom is much greater for them.

So, yeah, unless they are more considerate about their partners than the average man or more concerned about health & pregnancy than most they will resist the condom. The older they are the more resistant they become because the impact on sensation and performance is greater.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m a woman on the apps and I can tell you that many men have performance issues when it comes to wearing a condom. It’s not negotiable to me though, so I’m selective and insist on testing if we go that route.

Yep, it's this. They can't get it up with a condom. Seen this several times. Not negotiable with me, either.

Shouldn't they be "up" before putting the condom on?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm a man that NEVER has sex without a condom. Until I did. I was always taught to wear a condom and I refused to not put one on for years. Until I had a girlfriend suggest we try it without condoms.

The difference is like taking a shower wearing a raincoat. Or eating at a Michelin rated seafood restaurant and then trying to eat at Red Lobster. It's the same activity but only nominally.

Eating red lobster is better than starving.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m a woman on the apps and I can tell you that many men have performance issues when it comes to wearing a condom. It’s not negotiable to me though, so I’m selective and insist on testing if we go that route.

Yep, it's this. They can't get it up with a condom. Seen this several times. Not negotiable with me, either.

Shouldn't they be "up" before putting the condom on?

Yes.

The bigger issue is the man not being able to “finish up” with a condom.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m a woman on the apps and I can tell you that many men have performance issues when it comes to wearing a condom. It’s not negotiable to me though, so I’m selective and insist on testing if we go that route.

Yep, it's this. They can't get it up with a condom. Seen this several times. Not negotiable with me, either.

Shouldn't they be "up" before putting the condom on?

The mouth helps. But women don't want to put a strange duck in their mouth sometimes. Fair enough.

If I'm semi-hard rubbing it on her pu$$ and hearing her moan helps to reach full hardness, but that's not safe sex.

If I'm nervous and not fully hard and I try to put a stupid condom on it is likely to go soft.

There are really women who don't know all this?!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m a woman on the apps and I can tell you that many men have performance issues when it comes to wearing a condom. It’s not negotiable to me though, so I’m selective and insist on testing if we go that route.

Yep, it's this. They can't get it up with a condom. Seen this several times. Not negotiable with me, either.

Shouldn't they be "up" before putting the condom on?

Yes.

The bigger issue is the man not being able to “finish up” with a condom.

Especially if it's round 2 and/or booze is involved.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m a woman on the apps and I can tell you that many men have performance issues when it comes to wearing a condom. It’s not negotiable to me though, so I’m selective and insist on testing if we go that route.

This is a fact.

Sure, an 18 year-old can perform with a condom; does not matter.

Men in their 30s are not 18 years-old anymore.

I don’t understand why women fail to know this. Maybe they don’t WANT to understand?

Plenty of men *don't* have issues in their 30s. If they did, obviously there are lots of treatment options that don't involve having to give up condoms or twisting a partners arm about not wanting to use protection.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m a woman on the apps and I can tell you that many men have performance issues when it comes to wearing a condom. It’s not negotiable to me though, so I’m selective and insist on testing if we go that route.

Yep, it's this. They can't get it up with a condom. Seen this several times. Not negotiable with me, either.

Shouldn't they be "up" before putting the condom on?

Yes.

The bigger issue is the man not being able to “finish up” with a condom.

Lol imagine if women insisted on unsafe sex to finish every time 🤣

[Anonymous]

Plenty of nasty women want the spooge with randos and claim they don’t like latex, allergies, etc. Basically, the quicker they are to spread the legs, the more risky and the more partners they have. It’s an addiction for some or bad daddy issues/mental illness. Buddy just divorced a wife of over 20+ years finding out this is what she was doing. Unprotected rando sex.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm a man that NEVER has sex without a condom. Until I did. I was always taught to wear a condom and I refused to not put one on for years. Until I had a girlfriend suggest we try it without condoms.

The difference is like taking a shower wearing a raincoat. Or eating at a Michelin rated seafood restaurant and then trying to eat at Red Lobster. It's the same activity but only nominally.

Eating red lobster is better than starving.

Sure. But if you're offering fine dining it's hard to insist on Red Lobster instead.

[Anonymous]

Women hate condoms as much as men hate them. I can tell you from experience, only a few women ever insisted on condoms. A few wanted them because they were fertile and when I revealed I had a vasectomy, they were relieved and we didn't use a condom. It's not just men. We all hate them and the majority of people are willing to avoid them and take the risk.

[Anonymous]

there are lots of treatment options that don't involve having to give up condoms

Name one.

[Anonymous]

Condoms are no fun. You wear them out of necessity. If you’re in a situation you don’t think you need one, you won’t wear one. This isn’t rocket science.

[Anonymous]

Married man here. But when I was dating condoms were rare because if we were intimate we were exclusive and had appropriate conversations and testing if neccessary.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Women hate condoms as much as men hate them. I can tell you from experience, only a few women ever insisted on condoms. A few wanted them because they were fertile and when I revealed I had a vasectomy, they were relieved and we didn't use a condom. It's not just men. We all hate them and the majority of people are willing to avoid them and take the risk.

Condoms are horrible all around.