Overheard DD13 conversation I didn’t like

[Anonymous]

I'd roll my eyes and ignore it.

Of course you've been having discussions about sex, sexuality, respect, etc. all along, so just continue that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Teens do not view oral sex as sex.

It is NBD to them.

In this case - focus on teaching about STD? Complete with graphic photos of infections?

Yes. I would likely make my kid do some research on medical websites that I provide. STD is reality. So many kids think it is truly "NBD", but ... sometimes it really is.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’d take the phone for 6 months and try again.

Yes punish her for talking about sex.

[Anonymous]

My kid wouldn’t be on the phone wasting time in a mixed gender setting to begin with. It’s called parenting.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I remember being 13 and giggling about stuff like this and having NO idea what it actually meant. Seems like now is a great time to have a talk with her. No accusing. No getting mad. Just a simple sex talk.

This. And I didn’t do anything more than very PG making out until college so it does not mean she (or her friends) are doing the things they talk about.
But this is your chance to set an open tone for sec talk OP.

It’s not the same as 20 years ago. When my daughter got the HPV vax the Dr. told me they had to lower the age because too many 14 year olds already had HPV. I’m amazed that these girls stick those foul things in their mouths. That age they must smell like sweat, pee, and gym shorts.

Not every kid is dirty. Have your daughter up her standards in the people she is intimate with.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My kid wouldn’t be on the phone wasting time in a mixed gender setting to begin with. It’s called parenting.

Your 13 year old isn’t allowed to talk on the phone with a group of mixed gender friends? What year are you “parenting” from?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Oh, def ask to make sure she understands what it is (guarantee at almost 13 she does). Then, reinforce it is sex and she CAN get infections.

Further, as she gets older, make sure she understands if she's giving, she better be receiving as well.

+1

Definitely make sure she insists on receiving as much (or more) than she is giving.

At 13? Dp

I knew someone would post this.

Did you not see the "as she gets older" that is being +1'd?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Teens do not view oral sex as sex.

It is NBD to them.

As a high school teacher, I can confirm. They also do not view anal as real sex.

Keep stressing safe sex - all forms of it - with your teens!

[Anonymous]

I love the reactions of so many people are to take the phone away instead of having a discussion about sex. Like taking a phone away is going to do anything.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Am I the only person who is surprised the conversation included a male friend?

+1. I wouldn’t dismiss this as innocent giggling. Whatever your values are about sex and privacy, your daughter clearly doesn’t share them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Am I the only person who is surprised the conversation included a male friend?

+1. I wouldn’t dismiss this as innocent giggling. Whatever your values are about sex and privacy, your daughter clearly doesn’t share them.

This is very typical for kids this age, have you ever chaperoned an 8th grade field trip?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Am I the only person who is surprised the conversation included a male friend?

+1. I wouldn’t dismiss this as innocent giggling. Whatever your values are about sex and privacy, your daughter clearly doesn’t share them.

You clearly don’t know 8th graders. This is completely normal. Plenty are having oral and regular sex too

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Am I the only person who is surprised the conversation included a male friend?

+1. I wouldn’t dismiss this as innocent giggling. Whatever your values are about sex and privacy, your daughter clearly doesn’t share them.

You clearly don’t know 8th graders. This is completely normal. Plenty are having oral and regular sex too

please stop with the nonsense. while giggling is normal, actual sex is uncommon. it's a tiny minority doing it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I remember being 13 and giggling about stuff like this and having NO idea what it actually meant. Seems like now is a great time to have a talk with her. No accusing. No getting mad. Just a simple sex talk.

+1 Please have a talk to your child about this stuff. You need to get detailed even if you and/or your kid feels embarrassed.

I have these kinds of conversations with my 15 yr old. She hates it, but I told her that I do not want her to be ignorant about stuff like this.

FWIW, I was a virgin when DH and I got together, so it's not like I had a ton of experience before I got married, nor am I advocating for my DD to be more experienced. I just don't want her to be ignorant. When I have these discussions, I also talk about being mature enough to handle having sex.

[Anonymous]

Why are folks so uncomfortable talking to kids about sex? Why are they surprised that kids talk about it in slang terms amongst themselves? Why tell her to knock it off, when it’s perfectly normal?

The speaker phone conversation shouldn’t trigger anxiety it should trigger reminders to reinforce safe sex conversations including discussion about emotional health. Also understanding where your child is and where they believe their friends/peers to be as that can have influence.