Are kids actually good at picking colleges?
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Anonymous
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I don't know if kids are "good" at picking colleges, but I think it's important that for better or worse they are the ones that made the decision. They can't as easily slough off blame onto their parents for any struggles if it was their decision and people usually want to prove themselves right.
I do think parents can give guidelines early in the process--like this is the amount of money that we have available, I want you to choose a college that has a graduation rate of at least x% or whatever else might matter to you--and give advice when asked of course. |
Anonymous
Not when I had the stats for Ivy/top 10 and had worked my butt off and had a clear favorite…it’s very much like OP blaming dcum parents for picking the school. My point being, no we aren’t. We have to say: no you cannot go to your favorite. And we could afford it- but financially it would not be worth it. Unless you have serious need and can o to the Ivies or Hopkins need-blind/full tuition paid- sorry- you are effed. |
Anonymous
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It's kid and family dependent. If parents are college educated, from this country and involved, then I would say yes, most are good at picking what they want (in my kids friend circles this is true).
We've seen kids pick because schools were affordable, had their major, had the D1 sports they wanted, because they could play D3 sports and study what they wanted, in a big city, in the middle of nowhere, etc. If your parents are not from this country or have never been to college in the US, I imagine it's a difficult and challenging process, which may or may not lead to choosing the college that is the best fit for the child. |
Anonymous
+1 After visiting 10 schools, I could tell which was my kid's favorite. It was a target, they applied to 3 reaches and were rejected (1) and WL (2). Ultimately ended up at what I felt was their real Top choice. Thriving there and it is a perfect fit for all the reasons my kid initially loved it. So if you are open minded and looking at actual data/facts and not name/ranking, your kid can do a good job finding the best place. |
Anonymous
We can afford $90K/year, but would not let a kid pick that because of "the football team or the weather". One kid is at a $85K+ but that's because they picked for academics, opportunities outside the classroom, research ability, etc. They have to articulate why a school is their choice and academic opportunities need to be part of it for us to pay. |
Anonymous
BS. Rankings are worthless. Fit is not a mystery. You visit, talk to current students, sit in a few classes, etc. For my kid, we toured 8 campuses over the summer. This was campus #7. Saw an immediate difference on this campus tour---I could just see it. Every student we saw/talked to just seemed similar to my kid---same quirkiness, academically driven but not a striver. Then when we visited in April (after admissions), I arranged a "private engineering tour" since the university didn't have any that day---basically posted to parent page and found a student who was willing to meet/give a tour/answer questions. This kid was amazing and very similar to my kid. Unknown to me, I had selected a female engineer who also spent much of their free time dancing (my kid is a serious dancer), so also got all the details and personal connections to the various groups on campus. That sold my kid---they basically got a campus tour from someone who is very similar to them---they can see themselves as a student there. Freshman year did not disappoint---my kid quickly found their group of friends both academically and socially. |
Anonymous
+1 Also, imagine, if you guide/force your kid to select a school for any reason other than finances, and then whenever they struggle (hint: they will struggle at some point freshman year), they will blame you. When those struggles happen, it's much smoother if they are at a school they picked! Step back, trust them to become independent and let them fly |
Anonymous
Then you cannot afford it. That's okay. You tell your kid "we can spend $Y K total for 4 years of college". So you need to select a college that costs that or less. let's start researching your options and arrange visits |
Anonymous
It's okay. But it's really depressing that a kid that has all the stats and then some--can't go because he/she is a donut hole and a kid that is from a family that makes $75k less a year can go there for free. Then, they grow up and have a bunch of a-holes assuming they weren't smart enough to get into those schools because they didn't attend. I live in a very wealthy neighborhood now and every house has two Ivies/or top 10s pretty much and the amount of looking down the nose at state university grads is ridiculous. A lot of false assumptions. But, hey, we are living in the same neighborhoods and daddy didn't put down our downpayment. |
Anonymous
+1 |
Anonymous
| I picked my own college and major when I was 17 because my parents never went to college. only That I was also clueless and made the decision based on some random factors. Paying the price ever since up to this day. |
Anonymous
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Depends on the kid. If they say "I want to go to ____ because they have a wave pool on campus", probably not a good idea.
If they say "I want to go to ____ because they have an excellent ______ program, might be worth listening to. |
Anonymous
First, I think you could benefit from some therapy. You seem a bit too concerned about what others think. You need to get over worrying about what others think. And find new friends if you are hanging with A**holes who look down on a grown ass adult because they didn't go to a T10 school. The elite/T25 schools are ridiculously selective, so even with the Stats/Resume, your kid still most likely will NOT get in. Too many highly qualified kids and not enough spots. This should not be the first time in life your kid has been told "we cannot afford that". They should understand budgets by the time applying to college. However, if it was really that important for you to have your kid attend an $80K/year school, and you are living in a wealthy neighborhood, you could have made the choice to live somewhere slightly less expensive and save the difference for college and fund the expensive school. Or you could have choses to live on less than $75K/year for the last 18 years and then be eligible for the "free college". Not a good look to begrudge someone who is lower income getting an education they can afford. That kid had to work twice as hard to achieve what they did, because they didn't grow up in a wealthy neighborhood. |
Anonymous
It depends, the "wave pool" student I'd want to talk more about what is behind that. Does the school have the other factors and that's the baseline but the wave pool is emblematic of a fun student experience. Not necessarily a bad thing, as long as the basics are there. I was pleased that DD, when it came down to her final options, chose the one with the not-as-update facilities for one where she felt the vibe just felt like a better fit (this was at the point where both were solid in having the strong program she was looking for). IMO it was good that she was thinking about where she felt a good social fit vs. the nicest rec center and AC in all the dorms. |
Anonymous
Trust me. Plenty of kids who are 'middle class' in the high cost DMV are as disadvantaged as the ones from lower cost areas with the salaries. These kids aren't getting the extras--tutoring, paid private counselors, test prep, private school...and many are in not even that great of a HS. This area has a lot of poor HS--close-in and farther out. They aren't begrudging the kids w.out finances getting in, they are pointing out the unfairness in the process and that the way the cost of education has skyrocketed has made it unattainable for the majority of MC/UMC to attend a private university (even saving lots in the 529). The cost of Boston College was over $90k for my niece last year. To put two kids through there (or Georgetown or an Ivy) as a donut hole family is going to cost $720,000.000; 3/4s of a million dollars so don't give me this cr*p about saving for it. Housing in the DC area is not cheap. For a house that costs what two tuitions as recited above costs, you could commute to work for over an hour. Look at what housing costs nowadays. |