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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]The DCUM moms don’t have to worry about this because they pick colleges for their kids and don’t let the kids do any kind of independence thinking for themselves.  [/quote]

Well- my parents told me I could only go in-state VA due to finances (we didn’t qualify for aid). You don’t live in the real world if you think most parents will greenlight a $90k/year private or $65k OOS favorite just because the kid likes the football team or the weather.[/quote]

Telling your kid to that you have financial constraints is one thing; assuming you know which college will be the best fit is another. [/quote]

Not when I had the stats for Ivy/top 10 and had worked my butt off and had a clear favorite…it’s very much like OP blaming dcum parents for picking the school. My point being, no we aren’t.  We have to say: no you cannot go to your favorite.  And we could afford it- but financially it would not be worth it.  Unless you have serious need and can o to the Ivies or Hopkins need-blind/full tuition paid- sorry- you are effed.[/quote]

Then you cannot afford it.  That's okay.  You tell your kid "we can spend $Y K total for 4 years of college". So you need to select a college that costs that or less.  let's start researching your options and arrange visits[/quote]

It's okay. But it's really depressing that a kid that has all the stats and then some--can't go because he/she is a donut hole and a kid that is from a family that makes $75k less a year can go there for free. Then, they grow up and have a bunch of a-holes assuming they weren't smart enough to get into those schools because they didn't attend.  I live in a very wealthy neighborhood now and every house has two Ivies/or top 10s pretty much and the amount of looking down the nose at state university grads is ridiculous.  A lot of false assumptions.  But, hey, we are living in the same neighborhoods and daddy didn't put down our downpayment.[/quote]

First, I think you could benefit from some therapy.  You seem a bit too concerned about what others think. 
You need to get over worrying about what others think. And find new friends if you are hanging with A**holes who look down on a grown ass adult because they didn't go to a T10 school.

The elite/T25 schools are ridiculously selective, so even with the Stats/Resume, your kid still most likely will NOT get in.  Too many highly qualified kids and not enough spots.  This should not be the first time in life your kid has been told "we cannot afford that".  They should understand budgets by the time applying to college.

However, if it was really that important for you to have your kid attend an $80K/year school, and you are living in a wealthy neighborhood, you could have made the choice to live somewhere slightly less expensive and save the difference for college and fund the expensive school.  
Or you could have choses to live on less than $75K/year for the last 18 years and then be eligible for the "free college". [b]Not a good look to begrudge someone who is lower income getting an education they can afford. That kid had to work twice as hard to achieve what they did, because they didn't grow up in a wealthy neighborhood. [/b]

[/quote]

Trust me. Plenty of kids who are 'middle class' in the high cost DMV are as disadvantaged as the ones from lower cost areas with the salaries.  These kids aren't getting the extras--tutoring, paid private counselors, test prep, private school...and many are in not even that great of a HS.  This area has a lot of poor HS--close-in and farther out.

They aren't begrudging the kids w.out finances getting in, they are pointing out the unfairness in the process and that the way the cost of education has skyrocketed has made it unattainable for the majority of MC/UMC to attend a private university (even saving lots in the 529). The cost of Boston College was over $90k for my niece last year.  To put two kids through there (or Georgetown or an Ivy) as a donut hole family is going to cost [b]$720,000.000; 3/4s of a million dollars[/b] so don't give me this cr*p about saving for it.

Housing in the DC area is not cheap.  For a house that costs what two tuitions as recited above costs, you could commute to work for over an hour.  Look at what housing costs nowadays.[/quote]

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