Post your DCs names and we'll tell you what we assume about you. Snark is obviously expected!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Mary
Elizabeth

You definitely attend church

Catholic Church that is

If there is person things English Catholics love, it's Elizabeth

[Anonymous]

Zachary
Gabriel
Jocelyn

[Anonymous]

Bob

[Anonymous]

Imogen
Scarlett
Nicholas

[Anonymous]

DC is called Bubba.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Ingrid and Eamon

You own a traveling Scottish circus that this parked permanently in Galway Bay as it is Celtic enough for tax purposes. You dream of running an equinine Cirque du Soleil on Shetland ponies rather than sleek ex race horses. You tune in to DCUM as a lark and post obscure Monty Python references about farting in people’s direction - much to the merriment of the Celtic circus workers. A wealthy Swedish documentary maker who was making a short film about European circus life fell in love with you and insisted on having children with you. Your oldest is named for her Aunt Ingrid and paints Celtic fairies on your Denzel carousel and circus equipment. Eamon is named for your favorite Irish football player and takes care of the ponies on the island of saints and scholars. You all dream of visiting DMV/ DC area and farting in our general direction in real life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ingrid and Eamon

You own a traveling Scottish circus that this parked permanently in Galway Bay as it is Celtic enough for tax purposes. You dream of running an equinine Cirque du Soleil on Shetland ponies rather than sleek ex race horses. You tune in to DCUM as a lark and post obscure Monty Python references about farting in people’s direction - much to the merriment of the Celtic circus workers. A wealthy Swedish documentary maker who was making a short film about European circus life fell in love with you and insisted on having children with you. Your oldest is named for her Aunt Ingrid and paints Celtic fairies on your Denzel carousel and circus equipment. Eamon is named for your favorite Irish football player and takes care of the ponies on the island of saints and scholars. You all dream of visiting DMV/ DC area and farting in our general direction in real life.

Good Lord you must be psychic! Except Eamon is a top Irish hurler. Football is for wussy wankers.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
Imogen
Scarlett
Nicholas

You grew up in Vermont but your family came from Ireland four generations ago. Imogen is named for great great great grandmother from Dublin and is enrolled in Irish dancing in NOVA. Great Balls of Fire, Scarlett is named for both your favorite actress Scarlett Johansson and the lead character in your favorite movie Gone With the Wind. Nicholas (victory of the people) is named for Nicolaus Copernicus as your husband is an amateur astronomer who hopes to revolutionize our understanding of the universe one day also (such as his hero’s discovery that our modest planet is heliocentric rather than lunarcentric). During the pandemic, he has been somewhat content to work on changing the minds of the flat earth, anti vaxxers in his home town in rural Kentucky. Your Nicholas is doing 10 AP stem classes and app,using to summer internships with NASA in hopes of becoming a Renaissance polymath to please your husband.

You don’t mind ice cream but get annoyed by friends associating Vermont singularly with Ben and Jerry.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Zachary
Gabriel
Jocelyn

You are of Catholic French origin (Brittany area) and you married a Mexican Jewish man whose grandparents escaped the Holocaust in Poland by immigrating to Central America. You converted to Judaism in order to raise your children Jewish. Jocelyn (cheerful) is named for your French Grandmother while Gabriel (hero of God) and Zachary (God remembers) are named for deceased relatives of your husband’s family who tragically perished in the horrors of the Auschwitz concentration camp in Germany between 1939 and 1945. Your children attend Hebrew school in MoCo but you do not want them to have splashy bar and bat mitzvahs. You are considering sending them to Rochambeau French School in Bethesda in order to maintain the French language and culture you have carefully cultivated in them, but they would prefer to stay with their friends in public school. The only private school they will consider is GDS because there are a lot of Jewish kids there and it has a chill vibe. You are put off GDS by the snobby GDS boosters on DCUM who are obsessed with being considered in the top three DMV area schools.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Bob

Named for his father, grand father and great grandfather, Robert the fourth is a junior in MoCo. Your husband, Robert the Third is an aging Renaissance Man who can fix anything in Gaithersburg. He had learning differences when young, but did not get the supports he needed to succeed academically. His parents were obsessed with being seen as prominent successful citizens (they owned extensive farmlands in the area and made enormous profits selling off family lands to developers in the 1990s and 2000s. You were determined to get Robert the fourth (Bob) the help he needs for his learning differences. Having mellowed, his grand parents paid for him to attend Maclean school in Potomac where he is doing quite well. He hopes to attend University if California in Davis to become an agricultural vet.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Bob

[Anonymous]

Bartholemew - goes by Lee, never Bart
Keenan
Lilah

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Zachary
Gabriel
Jocelyn

You are of Catholic French origin (Brittany area) and you married a Mexican Jewish man whose grandparents escaped the Holocaust in Poland by immigrating to Central America. You converted to Judaism in order to raise your children Jewish. Jocelyn (cheerful) is named for your French Grandmother while Gabriel (hero of God) and Zachary (God remembers) are named for deceased relatives of your husband’s family who tragically perished in the horrors of the Auschwitz concentration camp in Germany between 1939 and 1945. Your children attend Hebrew school in MoCo but you do not want them to have splashy bar and bat mitzvahs. You are considering sending them to Rochambeau French School in Bethesda in order to maintain the French language and culture you have carefully cultivated in them, but they would prefer to stay with their friends in public school. The only private school they will consider is GDS because there are a lot of Jewish kids there and it has a chill vibe. You are put off GDS by the snobby GDS boosters on DCUM who are obsessed with being considered in the top three DMV area schools.

Ha! You got the first 4 words right though!!!
My husband is from MN with German heritage.
I don’t know one Jewish person.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Zachary
Gabriel
Jocelyn

You are of Catholic French origin (Brittany area) and you married a Mexican Jewish man whose grandparents escaped the Holocaust in Poland by immigrating to Central America. You converted to Judaism in order to raise your children Jewish. Jocelyn (cheerful) is named for your French Grandmother while Gabriel (hero of God) and Zachary (God remembers) are named for deceased relatives of your husband’s family who tragically perished in the horrors of the Auschwitz concentration camp in Germany between 1939 and 1945. Your children attend Hebrew school in MoCo but you do not want them to have splashy bar and bat mitzvahs. You are considering sending them to Rochambeau French School in Bethesda in order to maintain the French language and culture you have carefully cultivated in them, but they would prefer to stay with their friends in public school. The only private school they will consider is GDS because there are a lot of Jewish kids there and it has a chill vibe. You are put off GDS by the snobby GDS boosters on DCUM who are obsessed with being considered in the top three DMV area schools.

Ha! You got the first 4 words right though!!!
My husband is from MN with German heritage.
I don’t know one Jewish person.

You may need to do a spin-off ama.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ingrid and Eamon

You own a traveling Scottish circus that this parked permanently in Galway Bay as it is Celtic enough for tax purposes. You dream of running an equinine Cirque du Soleil on Shetland ponies rather than sleek ex race horses. You tune in to DCUM as a lark and post obscure Monty Python references about farting in people’s direction - much to the merriment of the Celtic circus workers. A wealthy Swedish documentary maker who was making a short film about European circus life fell in love with you and insisted on having children with you. Your oldest is named for her Aunt Ingrid and paints Celtic fairies on your Denzel carousel and circus equipment. Eamon is named for your favorite Irish football player and takes care of the ponies on the island of saints and scholars. You all dream of visiting DMV/ DC area and farting in our general direction in real life.

Always look on the bright side of life, eh Brian? This cut piercing my jugular artery is just a flesh wound!