No children allowed at family members wedding.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I will never understand why people who hire babysitters so they can go on date nights and out their kids on day care all week get bent out of shape because they can't take their kids along to a wedding for a few hours. Hire a friggin baby sitter. It's not a big deal.

I don’t like using a babysitter I don’t know, for my kids in an unfamiliar place to them - in a hotel.

+ 1000 I am not a helicopter mom but some people seem to think of kids as dogs: just get someone to watch over them! Hum, no? My 4 year old daughter is going to throw a massive crying tantrum if she is left alone in an unfamiliar place with someone she has never seen and that I will take max an hour to introduce (best case scenario). And I fully understand her, it is scary and should be scary to her.

I was invited once to a wedding that said no kids, we didn't realize until we landed, Thats when the hosts pointed out to us that we misunderstood. My DH went and I stayed at the hotel with the kids and had the babysitter only for after the children fell asleep (they met her before falling asleep though). I arrived at the wedding for the dance party. And the hosts (the parents) dared to make a comment, with a fake / feign concerned "oh FINALLY you could make it" as if I was a super late guest who couldn't ditch her snowflakes..

Had I known we wouldn't have gone at all

No, their comment was because you were a super late guest because you lack the ability to read, apparently. And the fact that you harbor resentment about something that is entirely your own fault says a lot about you - none of it good.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I will never understand why people who hire babysitters so they can go on date nights and out their kids on day care all week get bent out of shape because they can't take their kids along to a wedding for a few hours. Hire a friggin baby sitter. It's not a big deal.

I don’t like using a babysitter I don’t know, for my kids in an unfamiliar place to them - in a hotel.

+ 1000 I am not a helicopter mom but some people seem to think of kids as dogs: just get someone to watch over them! Hum, no? My 4 year old daughter is going to throw a massive crying tantrum if she is left alone in an unfamiliar place with someone she has never seen and that I will take max an hour to introduce (best case scenario). And I fully understand her, it is scary and should be scary to her.

I was invited once to a wedding that said no kids, we didn't realize until we landed, Thats when the hosts pointed out to us that we misunderstood. My DH went and I stayed at the hotel with the kids and had the babysitter only for after the children fell asleep (they met her before falling asleep though). I arrived at the wedding for the dance party. And the hosts (the parents) dared to make a comment, with a fake / feign concerned "oh FINALLY you could make it" as if I was a super late guest who couldn't ditch her snowflakes..

Had I known we wouldn't have gone at all

Sounds like you learned a lesson about how to read an invitation.

[Anonymous]

^ wait. What? I get that your four year old WOULS be scared but I think everything we need to know about OP is in her saying she SHOULD be scared of meeting new people.

Some people can't be helped.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I will never understand why people who hire babysitters so they can go on date nights and out their kids on day care all week get bent out of shape because they can't take their kids along to a wedding for a few hours. Hire a friggin baby sitter. It's not a big deal.

I don’t like using a babysitter I don’t know, for my kids in an unfamiliar place to them - in a hotel.

+ 1000 I am not a helicopter mom but some people seem to think of kids as dogs: just get someone to watch over them! Hum, no? My 4 year old daughter is going to throw a massive crying tantrum if she is left alone in an unfamiliar place with someone she has never seen and that I will take max an hour to introduce (best case scenario). And I fully understand her, it is scary and should be scary to her.

I was invited once to a wedding that said no kids, we didn't realize until we landed, Thats when the hosts pointed out to us that we misunderstood. My DH went and I stayed at the hotel with the kids and had the babysitter only for after the children fell asleep (they met her before falling asleep though). I arrived at the wedding for the dance party. And the hosts (the parents) dared to make a comment, with a fake / feign concerned "oh FINALLY you could make it" as if I was a super late guest who couldn't ditch her snowflakes..

Had I known we wouldn't have gone at all

No, their comment was because you were a super late guest because you lack the ability to read, apparently. And the fact that you harbor resentment about something that is entirely your own fault says a lot about you - none of it good.

NP: I'd like to point out that I don't let any old person take care of my pets, either. We are very selective about our pet sitters.

[Anonymous]

I just wouldn't go. It's an invitation, not a summons.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think that the issue is that some parents of small children don't keep an eye on their small children. I think the bride and groom, when taking the invite list into consideration, have a good read on who is a lazy, selfish parent and who will be responsible. The bride and groom act accordingly. Can you blame them? It is the single biggest event of their lives, up to then.

For example, have you ever been to a wedding where the small child (too young to know any better) is jumping over the church pews, running around the church, screaming bloody murder in church so that the vows can not be heard, running and chasing and knocking down elderly grandparents, stepping on the bridal train and ripping the bride's dress, or smashes the entire wedding cake to the ground at the reception? All because the parents were too busy chatting away, or drinking, dancing, or anything but paying attention.

Unfortunately, the lazy, selfish parents ruin it for the responsible parents, such that a blanket rule (such as "adults only") has to be applied. I know weddings where the bride and groom welcomed certain small children, because they knew it would not be a fiasco - but had to make a blanket "no children" statement, because they knew that one or two parents in particular would make it an unruly free for all. Let's face it, some parents don't pay attention, and it is all about them. If you want the relatives to meet your small child, make the necessary plans for that to happen, another time during the wedding weekend.

Better yet, plan a family reunion at your own leisure, so you can dictate the time, venue and guest list.

Not to mention the most expensive event of their lives. But sure having a screaming toddler ruin a moment like this is hilarious.

That definitely can be a reason. Also, if they have 2 kids themselves, then probably most of their friends also have kids, plus relatives have kids, pretty soon you have doubled or more your guest list. Sometimes the kids just have to be cut for space/budget reasons.

Maybe because I am French and we have different traditions but weddings without children seems downright sad to me. That's part of what makes it different tfrom another big soirée. It is a multi generational gathering. How fun to see the kids dancing with everyone, with the grandma, the college friends, the cousins.. kids can be loud but I have never seen a toddler ruining a wedding. I heard babies cry in the church but you take them for a walk and it is part of life to have those newborn crying sounds in such a big gathering. I would dare say it even brings something, the full circle of life (and no I am not even religious).

And it is the parties that familie sremember, when you danced with our dad, fell asleep on the couch at 2 am, going to bed so late for the first time... I would never keep children away from a wedding...

I agree that reasonable parents, who are not dense and who are not paying attention, would take their screaming toddler or baby out of the church. But there are parents (maybe its an American thing, I don't know) who really don't get it, they are lazy and ruin it for the rest of the parents. Ideally, in a perfect world, parents would extend this common courtesy. It is easy to tell who is not polite in the everyday - who is entitled - who is most likely to be a nightmare wedding guest. I think some brides and grooms base their decision on who is a capable parent. Of course, if you say no to one, you have to say no to all.

[Anonymous]

*who ARE paying attention

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I will never understand why people who hire babysitters so they can go on date nights and out their kids on day care all week get bent out of shape because they can't take their kids along to a wedding for a few hours. Hire a friggin baby sitter. It's not a big deal.

I don’t like using a babysitter I don’t know, for my kids in an unfamiliar place to them - in a hotel.

+ 1000 I am not a helicopter mom but some people seem to think of kids as dogs: just get someone to watch over them! Hum, no? My 4 year old daughter is going to throw a massive crying tantrum if she is left alone in an unfamiliar place with someone she has never seen and that I will take max an hour to introduce (best case scenario). And I fully understand her, it is scary and should be scary to her.

I was invited once to a wedding that said no kids, we didn't realize until we landed, Thats when the hosts pointed out to us that we misunderstood. My DH went and I stayed at the hotel with the kids and had the babysitter only for after the children fell asleep (they met her before falling asleep though). I arrived at the wedding for the dance party. And the hosts (the parents) dared to make a comment, with a fake / feign concerned "oh FINALLY you could make it" as if I was a super late guest who couldn't ditch her snowflakes..

Had I known we wouldn't have gone at all

Okay, your story is weird (not sure why you were pissed at the hosts, given that you were the ones who misread the invitation), but I agree with your first point. I'm not leaving my kid with a strange babysitter in a strange place. It might be one thing if the hosts organized something for the kids, so there were multiple kids and maybe a couple of sitters, but I'm not leaving my kid alone in a hotel room with a stranger.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I will never understand why people who hire babysitters so they can go on date nights and out their kids on day care all week get bent out of shape because they can't take their kids along to a wedding for a few hours. Hire a friggin baby sitter. It's not a big deal.

I don’t like using a babysitter I don’t know, for my kids in an unfamiliar place to them - in a hotel.

+ 1000 I am not a helicopter mom but some people seem to think of kids as dogs: just get someone to watch over them! Hum, no? My 4 year old daughter is going to throw a massive crying tantrum if she is left alone in an unfamiliar place with someone she has never seen and that I will take max an hour to introduce (best case scenario). And I fully understand her, it is scary and should be scary to her.

I was invited once to a wedding that said no kids, we didn't realize until we landed, Thats when the hosts pointed out to us that we misunderstood. My DH went and I stayed at the hotel with the kids and had the babysitter only for after the children fell asleep (they met her before falling asleep though). I arrived at the wedding for the dance party. And the hosts (the parents) dared to make a comment, with a fake / feign concerned "oh FINALLY you could make it" as if I was a super late guest who couldn't ditch her snowflakes..

Had I known we wouldn't have gone at all

Okay, your story is weird (not sure why you were pissed at the hosts, given that you were the ones who misread the invitation), but I agree with your first point. I'm not leaving my kid with a strange babysitter in a strange place. It might be one thing if the hosts organized something for the kids, so there were multiple kids and maybe a couple of sitters, but I'm not leaving my kid alone in a hotel room with a stranger.

Okay, then as has been said many times on this thread, you check “regrets” on the RSVP. it’s not personal. You don’t go. Or you le#ve your spouse at home and go yourself.

A bride and groom AR no more interested in your babysitting issues than you are in helping them select their centrepieces.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I will never understand why people who hire babysitters so they can go on date nights and out their kids on day care all week get bent out of shape because they can't take their kids along to a wedding for a few hours. Hire a friggin baby sitter. It's not a big deal.

I don’t like using a babysitter I don’t know, for my kids in an unfamiliar place to them - in a hotel.

+ 1000 I am not a helicopter mom but some people seem to think of kids as dogs: just get someone to watch over them! Hum, no? My 4 year old daughter is going to throw a massive crying tantrum if she is left alone in an unfamiliar place with someone she has never seen and that I will take max an hour to introduce (best case scenario). And I fully understand her, it is scary and should be scary to her.

I was invited once to a wedding that said no kids, we didn't realize until we landed, Thats when the hosts pointed out to us that we misunderstood. My DH went and I stayed at the hotel with the kids and had the babysitter only for after the children fell asleep (they met her before falling asleep though). I arrived at the wedding for the dance party. And the hosts (the parents) dared to make a comment, with a fake / feign concerned "oh FINALLY you could make it" as if I was a super late guest who couldn't ditch her snowflakes..

Had I known we wouldn't have gone at all

So, who was the invitation addressed to? How many people did you RSVP for?

This actually makes no sense to me. You just wanted to / felt it was your right to bring your kids.

[Anonymous]

I had kids at my wedding and love kids at weddings.

But the bride and groom are having an event. If they choose to make it kid free they choose to make it kid free. And you choose whether or not to go with that information.

I don't understand why anyone thinks they can dictate how other people throw an event. An invitation is not an order! If they want to have a naked ceremony on a beach in the DR with no kids that is their prerogative. No one is putting a gun to your head making you go.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why do you care and feel the need to go if you aren't that close to the couple? If you were close to the couple, I don't think you'd have an issue with not bringing your children. I left DS at home when my sister got married in Mexico in a small destination wedding where I was the maid of honor with a no kids request. My MIL watched DS for the weekend. I didn't even think twice.

I get these requests from time to time from old college friends, and it just isn't worth it to arrange everything to be there. I am a huge reply no to out of town weddings and just send a simple gift - much cheaper than flights/hotels/etc. And you still show you care by sending a little something.

DP. If I am close to the couple then they would ask me before sending the invitations, and they would know in advance that I am not coming without kids. DH can go without me.

You people are such a pain in the ass. I have kids and I would never take a stance to always say no to a wedding that wouldn't invite them.

Why is it a big deal to you? It makes life easier for everyone.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I had kids at my wedding and love kids at weddings.

But the bride and groom are having an event. If they choose to make it kid free they choose to make it kid free. And you choose whether or not to go with that information.

I don't understand why anyone thinks they can dictate how other people throw an event. An invitation is not an order! If they want to have a naked ceremony on a beach in the DR with no kids that is their prerogative. No one is putting a gun to your head making you go.

I don't think anyone is dictating. Some people get upset about the rejections. A "no kid" wedding will have more rejections.

[Anonymous]

You don't get to plan someone else's wedding! If they say no kids, they mean no kids. If you cannot travel or attend an evening event without your kids, mail the little card that says "not attending" back to them. Done.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There is nothing wrong with having a no kids wedding.

But you would have to be a very close friend or a sibling in order for me to attend.

Hmm...I am the opposite. I wouldn't bring my kids to a college friend or co-workers wedding even when kids are invited. At that point, it's usually a big party. I have been most annoyed when my brother didn't invite my kids to his wedding. It's a big family event. My parents and grandparents, cousins, etc were there, many of whom live thousands of miles away. It would have been fun to have my little girl dance with her great grandpa.

Anyway, it is what it is. It was fun either way, and it wasn't my wedding.