No children allowed at family members wedding.

[Anonymous]

We have the same issues - cousin is getting married in my home state on a Friday night and we just got the invite - no kids. We obviously can't leave the toddler with my parents, because they'd also be attending the wedding and all my other family is attending as well.

We already weren't sure if we could swing it with the cost to fly now that the kid needs his own seat + it being a Friday. I don't think my fam will care though. We'll send a beautiful card and gift.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We have the same issues - cousin is getting married in my home state on a Friday night and we just got the invite - no kids. We obviously can't leave the toddler with my parents, because they'd also be attending the wedding and all my other family is attending as well.

We already weren't sure if we could swing it with the cost to fly now that the kid needs his own seat + it being a Friday. I don't think my fam will care though. We'll send a beautiful card and gift.

Yeah, don’t go and feel zero guilt.

[Anonymous]

This is totally understandable to me. Say, conservatively, cousin has invited 15 couples with 2 kids each. That’s quickly 30 extra people. And those extra people are likely to cry through the ceremony and run amuck on the dance floor. You need to decide whether it’s worth it you to attend the wedding or not.

I say this as someone who also is juggling childcare for an upcoming cousins wedding, and who invited kids to my own wedding. The only situation where I think this is kind of uncool is if there are kids close to the couple (e.g. nieces and nephews) who would really be eager to be there. Cousins kids don’t count. It’s alsonice if the hosts can provide local babysitting recs (we did this for people who wanted to stay late).

[Anonymous]

In my wedding I only allowed kids from my family, which was just 1 3 years old and a 8 years old. I agree, there should not be any kids or just 1 in a wedding.

[Anonymous]

It it the couple getting married special day. It is not about you or what you want or what you think is tacky. It is about them! Kindly decline and stop complaining! Your an adult, if you really want to go I’m sure you could find care for your children.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is totally understandable to me. Say, conservatively, cousin has invited 15 couples with 2 kids each. That’s quickly 30 extra people. And those extra people are likely to cry through the ceremony and run amuck on the dance floor. You need to decide whether it’s worth it you to attend the wedding or not.

I say this as someone who also is juggling childcare for an upcoming cousins wedding, and who invited kids to my own wedding. The only situation where I think this is kind of uncool is if there are kids close to the couple (e.g. nieces and nephews) who would really be eager to be there. Cousins kids don’t count. It’s alsonice if the hosts can provide local babysitting recs (we did this for people who wanted to stay late).

It surprises me that people care so much about kids “ruining” the day. So a baby cries or a 5 year old dances on the dance floor. What’s the big deal? The kids parents will deal with them. It’s not like the bride has to babysit. If the issue is that you can’t stand the idea that someone may spend more time looking at the cleansing kid than at you, or won’t hear every second of your scintillating vows because a kid might be talking, well, grow up already and get over it. I very wedding I have ever been to has had kids. Including my wedding. Never been a problem.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is totally understandable to me. Say, conservatively, cousin has invited 15 couples with 2 kids each. That’s quickly 30 extra people. And those extra people are likely to cry through the ceremony and run amuck on the dance floor. You need to decide whether it’s worth it you to attend the wedding or not.

I say this as someone who also is juggling childcare for an upcoming cousins wedding, and who invited kids to my own wedding. The only situation where I think this is kind of uncool is if there are kids close to the couple (e.g. nieces and nephews) who would really be eager to be there. Cousins kids don’t count. It’s alsonice if the hosts can provide local babysitting recs (we did this for people who wanted to stay late).

It surprises me that people care so much about kids “ruining” the day. So a baby cries or a 5 year old dances on the dance floor. What’s the big deal? The kids parents will deal with them. It’s not like the bride has to babysit. If the issue is that you can’t stand the idea that someone may spend more time looking at the cleansing kid than at you, or won’t hear every second of your scintillating vows because a kid might be talking, well, grow up already and get over it. I very wedding I have ever been to has had kids. Including my wedding. Never been a problem.

I have always been very pro-kids for weddings. My cousin's son (toddler at the time) wailed nonstop during my wedding ceremony and my cousin did nothing about it. My sister had to ask him to step out so people could hear. The problem with kids at weddings isn't so much that they do kid-like things sometimes, it's that their parents are often too oblivious to remove them when they become disruptive.

[Anonymous]

Every time I read one of these threads, I wonder why more people don't elope.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We have the same issues - cousin is getting married in my home state on a Friday night and we just got the invite - no kids. We obviously can't leave the toddler with my parents, because they'd also be attending the wedding and all my other family is attending as well.

We already weren't sure if we could swing it with the cost to fly now that the kid needs his own seat + it being a Friday. I don't think my fam will care though. We'll send a beautiful card and gift.

What about your spouse's parents watching the toddler?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is totally understandable to me. Say, conservatively, cousin has invited 15 couples with 2 kids each. That’s quickly 30 extra people. And those extra people are likely to cry through the ceremony and run amuck on the dance floor. You need to decide whether it’s worth it you to attend the wedding or not.

I say this as someone who also is juggling childcare for an upcoming cousins wedding, and who invited kids to my own wedding. The only situation where I think this is kind of uncool is if there are kids close to the couple (e.g. nieces and nephews) who would really be eager to be there. Cousins kids don’t count. It’s alsonice if the hosts can provide local babysitting recs (we did this for people who wanted to stay late).

It surprises me that people care so much about kids “ruining” the day. So a baby cries or a 5 year old dances on the dance floor. What’s the big deal? The kids parents will deal with them. It’s not like the bride has to babysit. If the issue is that you can’t stand the idea that someone may spend more time looking at the cleansing kid than at you, or won’t hear every second of your scintillating vows because a kid might be talking, well, grow up already and get over it. I very wedding I have ever been to has had kids. Including my wedding. Never been a problem.

I went to a wedding where a toddler screamed during the ceremony to the point that the person presiding over the wedding STOPPED the ceremony and said they were happy to pause while everyone got control of their emotions, or something kind. Then at the reception there was a preschooler who kept running all around and waiters carrying trays of food were nearly tripping over him. He was throwing food, and random people were trying to grab him to get him out of the way because other people were almost falling over him. During cake he wouldn't stop yelling and then didnt want to wait for dessert to be served and kept trying to go up and get to the cake with the bride and groom. His parents just were NOT parenting. You could tell the bride and groom were getting a little frustrated.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It it the couple getting married special day. It is not about you or what you want or what you think is tacky. It is about them! Kindly decline and stop complaining! Your an adult, if you really want to go I’m sure you could find care for your children.

I'll stop complaining when I stop hearing about how horrible I am for declining.

It goes both ways: couples are entitled to childfree weddings without getting grief. Parents are entitled to decline due to logistics without getting grief.

[Anonymous]

Whatever you do, if you are hosting a child-free wedding please make it clear somewhere on the invite! We received a wedding invitation for DHs cousin. Only DHs name was on the (postcard style) invitation-though there was a blank for us to right who was attending on the response card. The wedding website said nothing to the effect of no children for the wedding (which is being held in the afternoon at an outdoor venue). DHs brother contacted the groom to ask who was invited (since they were confused by the invitation too). Turns out they don't want kids--which fine--but communicate that somewhere! Anyway, we thought we'd go, but now we aren't.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is totally understandable to me. Say, conservatively, cousin has invited 15 couples with 2 kids each. That’s quickly 30 extra people. And those extra people are likely to cry through the ceremony and run amuck on the dance floor. You need to decide whether it’s worth it you to attend the wedding or not.

I say this as someone who also is juggling childcare for an upcoming cousins wedding, and who invited kids to my own wedding. The only situation where I think this is kind of uncool is if there are kids close to the couple (e.g. nieces and nephews) who would really be eager to be there. Cousins kids don’t count. It’s alsonice if the hosts can provide local babysitting recs (we did this for people who wanted to stay late).

It surprises me that people care so much about kids “ruining” the day. So a baby cries or a 5 year old dances on the dance floor. What’s the big deal? The kids parents will deal with them. It’s not like the bride has to babysit. If the issue is that you can’t stand the idea that someone may spend more time looking at the cleansing kid than at you, or won’t hear every second of your scintillating vows because a kid might be talking, well, grow up already and get over it. I very wedding I have ever been to has had kids. Including my wedding. Never been a problem.

I went to a wedding where a toddler screamed during the ceremony to the point that the person presiding over the wedding STOPPED the ceremony and said they were happy to pause while everyone got control of their emotions, or something kind. Then at the reception there was a preschooler who kept running all around and waiters carrying trays of food were nearly tripping over him. He was throwing food, and random people were trying to grab him to get him out of the way because other people were almost falling over him. During cake he wouldn't stop yelling and then didnt want to wait for dessert to be served and kept trying to go up and get to the cake with the bride and groom. His parents just were NOT parenting. You could tell the bride and groom were getting a little frustrated.

Ok, that’s fair, as is the example above. But in both cases the problem is really the parents. At my wedding there were 20 kids ranging from 7 months to 14 years. All were fine. However the rabbi almost forgot to come and then called me by a different name (not mine) throughout the ceremony. Meanwhile dh’s aunt got plastered and made a scene and messed up a lot of photos. Just saying ...

[Anonymous]

I didn't ban children from my wedding years ago (my stepdaughter and nephew were in the wedding), but I am attending a wedding where children are not allowed/invited. I am happy about this, lol.

The wedding is happening on our anniversary and I am looking forward to enjoying it without having to chase our kids around.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is totally understandable to me. Say, conservatively, cousin has invited 15 couples with 2 kids each. That’s quickly 30 extra people. And those extra people are likely to cry through the ceremony and run amuck on the dance floor. You need to decide whether it’s worth it you to attend the wedding or not.

I say this as someone who also is juggling childcare for an upcoming cousins wedding, and who invited kids to my own wedding. The only situation where I think this is kind of uncool is if there are kids close to the couple (e.g. nieces and nephews) who would really be eager to be there. Cousins kids don’t count. It’s alsonice if the hosts can provide local babysitting recs (we did this for people who wanted to stay late).

It surprises me that people care so much about kids “ruining” the day. So a baby cries or a 5 year old dances on the dance floor. What’s the big deal? The kids parents will deal with them. It’s not like the bride has to babysit. If the issue is that you can’t stand the idea that someone may spend more time looking at the cleansing kid than at you, or won’t hear every second of your scintillating vows because a kid might be talking, well, grow up already and get over it. I very wedding I have ever been to has had kids. Including my wedding. Never been a problem.

I went to a wedding where a toddler screamed during the ceremony to the point that the person presiding over the wedding STOPPED the ceremony and said they were happy to pause while everyone got control of their emotions, or something kind. Then at the reception there was a preschooler who kept running all around and waiters carrying trays of food were nearly tripping over him. He was throwing food, and random people were trying to grab him to get him out of the way because other people were almost falling over him. During cake he wouldn't stop yelling and then didnt want to wait for dessert to be served and kept trying to go up and get to the cake with the bride and groom. His parents just were NOT parenting. You could tell the bride and groom were getting a little frustrated.

+1

All it takes is one!