Worked my butt off in the PTA and my son is in a "weaker" classroom

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:My mom volunteered at my school all the time and it sucked. I felt like I never had any private space.

Volunteering all the time does not equal pitching in and doing your part. You can be involved and not be suffocating.

Why don't you just admit you have nothing better to do and no useful skills to contribute to anyone so you play at grade school all day to stave off boredom.

See how they knife cuts both ways?

Oh sweetie, please...
I still work. That's what you don't get. I have a highly fulfilling, unique, and fairly glamourous career. I also help out when I can. It's really not that complicated.

Good for you. Now stop shitting on others whose careers don't have the same flexibility that allow them to hippity hop off to school during work hours. People like, I don't know, doctors, law enforcement, etc whose presence at work is mandatory and not able to be set aside to stuff envelopes.

Please... we know that isn't who we are talking about. Wait... is DCUM full of police women? I had no idea!

NP. You are an awful person.

m
Sorry officer, I didn't mean to offend you.

[Anonymous]

You need serious help.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:I can't volunteer at my kids' school because during school hours I am at another school where I teach other people's kids. Clearly, this means I care less about education than the PTA moms sorting tshirt order forms.

I suppose I shall simply have to expect the possibly inferior classroom assignments my children will receive as punishment. This also works out because since I am not at their school all day, I have not fully cultivated a list of enemy students from whom I would like them to be kept away from.

I'm sure your child has noticed that you aren't there.
PSA working parents: you kids notice that their own parents are never volunteering.

I'm sorry if it isn't possible for your family to get by on 1 income ( or you are a single parent). Sadly your kids get the message one way or that other. You find the time or you don't, but there is a consequence.

Lol!! My family got by fine on one income. I went back because I love teaching and deeply care about education. But I understand that because I'm not scooping ice cream with you at the 5th grade class party because I can't bail on 4th block it may not look that way. I shall suffer the pity of the PTA moms as is my brutal lot in life. When my child asks her therapist why I was not there to count laps at the Fun Run I hope the judgment shall be kind!

I think it's wonderful that you are a passionate teacher. I will not, however, see the humour in putting personal career satisfaction over your children. Before snarky comments about the role of mothers commence, I see no reason it can't be a father.
Perhaps you are just trying to make a point with hyperbole. Perhaps you do show up a couple of times a year for the big stuff. I think that is perfectly reasonable while balancing your work life.
If you are absent to all of these "meaningless" activities, that is not good. Your kid has noticed that Larla's dad and Larlo's mom care enough to show. They notice you or your partner are never there. Not good.

Now see that's wrong. My kids don't care if I'm at the school because they understand we all have our own spheres. School is theirs. Work is mine and dads. Home, etc is ours. My kids don't have a fundamental expectation that elementary school is a place I'm supposed to be hanging out at with them. It isn't a joint endeavor we undertake together. I'm present in every other aspect of their life and stayed home with them for years. I'm not gonna be told that none of that matters if I'm not sorting papers in the front office of their school.

I'm sure you've made it very clear to your children that they should take no notice, and not care that you aren't involved at school.

I am involved at school. The one I work at. Those kids need me so they can pass the SOL and graduate more than my kids need me pretending their elementary school is a Mommy and Me Gymboree meeting at which my attendance is required. It's incredible how they seem to do so well and really thrive with their peers and teachers without me there.

NP here and yeah I had a mom like you - always willing to go the extra mile for some one else's cause but when it came to my school, she couldn't be bothered, it was too much, she was too tired, she already gave, blah, blah, It really did suck to be the only one of a handful of kids who looked around at school events and had no parent around. We kind of stuck together.

This year, make an effort to attend one of those things that you never have before because it wouldn't work out. The truth is it can work out, it might just be a sacrifice somewhere else. It's amazing what just showing up can do for your child's self esteem and feelings.

[Anonymous]

^^ thank you. Very well put!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I can't volunteer at my kids' school because during school hours I am at another school where I teach other people's kids. Clearly, this means I care less about education than the PTA moms sorting tshirt order forms.

I suppose I shall simply have to expect the possibly inferior classroom assignments my children will receive as punishment. This also works out because since I am not at their school all day, I have not fully cultivated a list of enemy students from whom I would like them to be kept away from.

I'm sure your child has noticed that you aren't there.
PSA working parents: you kids notice that their own parents are never volunteering.

I'm sorry if it isn't possible for your family to get by on 1 income ( or you are a single parent). Sadly your kids get the message one way or that other. You find the time or you don't, but there is a consequence.

Lol!! My family got by fine on one income. I went back because I love teaching and deeply care about education. But I understand that because I'm not scooping ice cream with you at the 5th grade class party because I can't bail on 4th block it may not look that way. I shall suffer the pity of the PTA moms as is my brutal lot in life. When my child asks her therapist why I was not there to count laps at the Fun Run I hope the judgment shall be kind!

I think it's wonderful that you are a passionate teacher. I will not, however, see the humour in putting personal career satisfaction over your children. Before snarky comments about the role of mothers commence, I see no reason it can't be a father.
Perhaps you are just trying to make a point with hyperbole. Perhaps you do show up a couple of times a year for the big stuff. I think that is perfectly reasonable while balancing your work life.
If you are absent to all of these "meaningless" activities, that is not good. Your kid has noticed that Larla's dad and Larlo's mom care enough to show. They notice you or your partner are never there. Not good.

Now see that's wrong. My kids don't care if I'm at the school because they understand we all have our own spheres. School is theirs. Work is mine and dads. Home, etc is ours. My kids don't have a fundamental expectation that elementary school is a place I'm supposed to be hanging out at with them. It isn't a joint endeavor we undertake together. I'm present in every other aspect of their life and stayed home with them for years. I'm not gonna be told that none of that matters if I'm not sorting papers in the front office of their school.

I'm sure you've made it very clear to your children that they should take no notice, and not care that you aren't involved at school.

I am involved at school. The one I work at. Those kids need me so they can pass the SOL and graduate more than my kids need me pretending their elementary school is a Mommy and Me Gymboree meeting at which my attendance is required. It's incredible how they seem to do so well and really thrive with their peers and teachers without me there.

NP here and yeah I had a mom like you - always willing to go the extra mile for some one else's cause but when it came to my school, she couldn't be bothered, it was too much, she was too tired, she already gave, blah, blah, It really did suck to be the only one of a handful of kids who looked around at school events and had no parent around. We kind of stuck together.

This year, make an effort to attend one of those things that you never have before because it wouldn't work out. The truth is it can work out, it might just be a sacrifice somewhere else. It's amazing what just showing up can do for your child's self esteem and feelings.

You misunderstand. I attend Muffins with Mom and open house and the actual KID events. I do NOT go to the front office asking for busy work so I can claim I'm involved at the school.

[Anonymous]

I have no dog in this fight as I'm a sah who volunteers but easily admits that many of these school moms are nutty- but that's not the Pp misunderstanding- I think everyone on the thread read your words the same way. That makes it look like you are back pedaling now.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have no dog in this fight as I'm a sah who volunteers but easily admits that many of these school moms are nutty- but that's not the Pp misunderstanding- I think everyone on the thread read your words the same way. That makes it look like you are back pedaling now.

It's a bit of a weird axe to grind from that particular teacher. I would think she would welcome help at her own school, since her student are at risk of failure. Perhaps lack of volunteering at her own school has lead her to conclude it isn't needed.
I agree that it likely isn't necessary at the high school level, save for band/choir boosters etc... of course I assumed we were discussing elementary school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have no dog in this fight as I'm a sah who volunteers but easily admits that many of these school moms are nutty- but that's not the Pp misunderstanding- I think everyone on the thread read your words the same way. That makes it look like you are back pedaling now.

How does "I have a job and can't do the pta and that doesn't make me a bad mom" translate to "I literally never attend any event my kid is a part of at school"? They aren't the same thing. PTA is not school. It has nothing to do with my child and what she's doing in her classroom. To act as though my being unable to volunteer for the PTA means I do nothing for my kid to support her at school is ludicrous and not me back pedaling but you guys somehow conflating PTA with parenting.

[Anonymous]

Hm. PP mentioned the 5th grade party and some running laps thing as events she doesn't go to. I assumed that those were events for her child- I didn't hear anything about pta.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have no dog in this fight as I'm a sah who volunteers but easily admits that many of these school moms are nutty- but that's not the Pp misunderstanding- I think everyone on the thread read your words the same way. That makes it look like you are back pedaling now.

How does "I have a job and can't do the pta and that doesn't make me a bad mom" translate to "I literally never attend any event my kid is a part of at school"? They aren't the same thing. PTA is not school. It has nothing to do with my child and what she's doing in her classroom. To act as though my being unable to volunteer for the PTA means I do nothing for my kid to support her at school is ludicrous and not me back pedaling but you guys somehow conflating PTA with parenting.

NP here. You are backpeddaling now because people called you out to being a cold bitch. You are on DCUM where most of the parents are rich, highly educated and have high pressure careers, so your being condescending to volunteers or people who participate as SAHs with time to kill is very offensive. Your child benefits by the volunteer work of other parents - and most of these parents have jobs and careers and they still find it in them to be involved. And if they cannot be involved, they are at the very least very thankful to those who volunteer. It is you who is conflating PTA with parenting and SAH parents. You are even dissing WOH parents who volunteer as people who have flexible careers. Where do you get off, lady? You seem like a terrible and angry person. Maybe you need to understand that you have a very offensive way of communicating and for your sake I hope this is only on DCUM and not in real life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have no dog in this fight as I'm a sah who volunteers but easily admits that many of these school moms are nutty- but that's not the Pp misunderstanding- I think everyone on the thread read your words the same way. That makes it look like you are back pedaling now.

How does "I have a job and can't do the pta and that doesn't make me a bad mom" translate to "I literally never attend any event my kid is a part of at school"? They aren't the same thing. PTA is not school. It has nothing to do with my child and what she's doing in her classroom. To act as though my being unable to volunteer for the PTA means I do nothing for my kid to support her at school is ludicrous and not me back pedaling but you guys somehow conflating PTA with parenting.

You basically said you were more involved with the kids at work than your own. How exactly did you think that would land? I'm sure you are a great teacher, just don't short change your own children. That's all.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have no dog in this fight as I'm a sah who volunteers but easily admits that many of these school moms are nutty- but that's not the Pp misunderstanding- I think everyone on the thread read your words the same way. That makes it look like you are back pedaling now.

How does "I have a job and can't do the pta and that doesn't make me a bad mom" translate to "I literally never attend any event my kid is a part of at school"? They aren't the same thing. PTA is not school. It has nothing to do with my child and what she's doing in her classroom. To act as though my being unable to volunteer for the PTA means I do nothing for my kid to support her at school is ludicrous and not me back pedaling but you guys somehow conflating PTA with parenting.

NP here. You are backpeddaling now because people called you out to being a cold bitch. You are on DCUM where most of the parents are rich, highly educated and have high pressure careers, so your being condescending to volunteers or people who participate as SAHs with time to kill is very offensive. Your child benefits by the volunteer work of other parents - and most of these parents have jobs and careers and they still find it in them to be involved. And if they cannot be involved, they are at the very least very thankful to those who volunteer. It is you who is conflating PTA with parenting and SAH parents. You are even dissing WOH parents who volunteer as people who have flexible careers. Where do you get off, lady? You seem like a terrible and angry person. Maybe you need to understand that you have a very offensive way of communicating and for your sake I hope this is only on DCUM and not in real life.

no, my child could do just fine without 80% of what the PTA does. The main positive thing they do is fundraise to pay for aides and I write my check for that, done. I have 0 qualms. Having to be snack mom 2x/year is quite enough for me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have no dog in this fight as I'm a sah who volunteers but easily admits that many of these school moms are nutty- but that's not the Pp misunderstanding- I think everyone on the thread read your words the same way. That makes it look like you are back pedaling now.

How does "I have a job and can't do the pta and that doesn't make me a bad mom" translate to "I literally never attend any event my kid is a part of at school"? They aren't the same thing. PTA is not school. It has nothing to do with my child and what she's doing in her classroom. To act as though my being unable to volunteer for the PTA means I do nothing for my kid to support her at school is ludicrous and not me back pedaling but you guys somehow conflating PTA with parenting.

You basically said you were more involved with the kids at work than your own. How exactly did you think that would land? I'm sure you are a great teacher, just don't short change your own children. That's all.

No, she said that she isn't involved in her kids' school, not her kids! See the difference?

[Anonymous]

I can't believe you shrews are beating up on a TEACHER because she doesn't take time off from her job at another school to go make photocopies. FFS.

[Anonymous]

Gosh- are any other low income professions above rebuke?

She said she doesn't attend any events. A teacher should know- words mean things!