My daughter is the only white girl in her grade: ask me anything

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why sacrifice her education and view of the world when you could do better. You surely want better for your kids?

I don't view it as a sacrifice. She is being educated and is thriving. We are not going to force her to stay in an unsupportive environment, but we are also not going to remove her from a place where she is thriving because there are a lot of poor brown kids there. I don't believe that sending her to a majority white suburban school would be "better" automatically, and it's certainly not a huge change I'm going to make when there is nothing wrong with where she goes to school now.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why sacrifice her education and view of the world when you could do better. You surely want better for your kids?

OP is not sacrificing her education. That is the whole point of this thread.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:"No, I think once you go thru the process with older one, your views change. When you have only one young kid like you, your views are still naive/innocent. Don't get me wrong. I think what you are doing is great but the reality can be harsh for your DD later. "

+1 million.

Here's the deal. Every one of my friends who was enthused about their diverse school when their kids were in K were reconsidering their decision to stay by third grade, when the lack of academic intensity becomes apparent. And all but one have pulled their kids from their original schools to put them into higher performing schools.

OP here.

A lot of my friends moved to the suburbs when they had kids. I don't want to do that, because I like where I live. I kind of resent your blanket "here's the deal" as though your experience is inevitable. It's not. I'm not putting my fingers in my ears ignoring the potential issues, but I personally am not going to take evasive action before the issues even arise. If the school stops meeting DD's academic needs, we can move somewhere that does. If middle school remains a huge clusterfuck in 3/4 years, we can move somewhere that is not. If she starts getting picked on for being white, my first choice would be to deal with that bullying like any other bullying and not assume that every kid she interacts with is going to be a racist bully.

You are being very selfish OP. sorry, I know it sounds harsh, but you are giving your child a crappy education because you dont feel like moving. 99% SES ??!!??!!!!!!!!!

What does "99% SES" mean?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why sacrifice her education and view of the world when you could do better. You surely want better for your kids?

OP is not sacrificing her education. That is the whole point of this thread.

I completely agree. She is sacrificing her DD's education.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why sacrifice her education and view of the world when you could do better. You surely want better for your kids?

OP is not sacrificing her education. That is the whole point of this thread.

New poster here. With the information we have, I'd say that OP is certainly sacrificing her kid's education. But that's her right to do, in the context of overall parenting and overall family priorities. I am not in her shoes, so I can't judge her decisions.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why sacrifice her education and view of the world when you could do better. You surely want better for your kids?

OP is not sacrificing her education. That is the whole point of this thread.

New poster here. With the information we have, I'd say that OP is certainly sacrificing her kid's education. But that's her right to do, in the context of overall parenting and overall family priorities. I am not in her shoes, so I can't judge her decisions.

I agree... I think OP is naive to think she can just "pull" her child to a different school a few years down the road. But, it's OP's call.

[Anonymous]

If you want to learn about poor people and help them having your children do community service is much better than embedding your children.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why sacrifice her education and view of the world when you could do better. You surely want better for your kids?

OP is not sacrificing her education. That is the whole point of this thread.

New poster here. With the information we have, I'd say that OP is certainly sacrificing her kid's education. But that's her right to do, in the context of overall parenting and overall family priorities. I am not in her shoes, so I can't judge her decisions.

Her daughter is getting a great education right now and is learning a lot - ahead of grade level. You and others can't seem to fathom that a non-white school can do that, the horror!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why sacrifice her education and view of the world when you could do better. You surely want better for your kids?

I don't view it as a sacrifice. She is being educated and is thriving. We are not going to force her to stay in an unsupportive environment, but we are also not going to remove her from a place where she is thriving because there are a lot of poor brown kids there. I don't believe that sending her to a majority white suburban school would be "better" automatically, and it's certainly not a huge change I'm going to make when there is nothing wrong with where she goes to school now.

Having moved from a low performing school to a high performing school, it wasn't until I made the move that I could see disparity and between the education in the two.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why sacrifice her education and view of the world when you could do better. You surely want better for your kids?

OP is not sacrificing her education. That is the whole point of this thread.

New poster here. With the information we have, I'd say that OP is certainly sacrificing her kid's education. But that's her right to do, in the context of overall parenting and overall family priorities. I am not in her shoes, so I can't judge her decisions.

Her daughter is getting a great education right now and is learning a lot - ahead of grade level. You and others can't seem to fathom that a non-white school can do that, the horror!

But being above grade level in a low performing school isn't the same as being above grade level in an average or high performing school. What is grade level appropriate to begin with is a low bar and then it's a bit lower in lower performing schools because it has to be to accommodate the majority of children.

[Anonymous]

Funny, I moved my child from a low-performing school to a high-performing one and noticed no difference in the quality of her education. In fact, I suspect the low-performing school from which I moved DD was the same one OP's daughter goes to just from what she has said. And no, I will not name the school to respect OP's privacy, if it is the same one.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Funny, I moved my child from a low-performing school to a high-performing one and noticed no difference in the quality of her education. In fact, I suspect the low-performing school from which I moved DD was the same one OP's daughter goes to just from what she has said. And no, I will not name the school to respect OP's privacy, if it is the same one.

That just means you moved from one low-performing school to another low-performing school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why sacrifice her education and view of the world when you could do better. You surely want better for your kids?

OP is not sacrificing her education. That is the whole point of this thread.

New poster here. With the information we have, I'd say that OP is certainly sacrificing her kid's education. But that's her right to do, in the context of overall parenting and overall family priorities. I am not in her shoes, so I can't judge her decisions.

Her daughter is getting a great education right now and is learning a lot - ahead of grade level. You and others can't seem to fathom that a non-white school can do that, the horror!

But being above grade level in a low performing school isn't the same as being above grade level in an average or high performing school. What is grade level appropriate to begin with is a low bar and then it's a bit lower in lower performing schools because it has to be to accommodate the majority of children.

Yes it is - they use the same grade-level standards. Op's child was reading in K.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Funny, I moved my child from a low-performing school to a high-performing one and noticed no difference in the quality of her education. In fact, I suspect the low-performing school from which I moved DD was the same one OP's daughter goes to just from what she has said. And no, I will not name the school to respect OP's privacy, if it is the same one.

That just means you moved from one low-performing school to another low-performing school.

Right because it's not possible that someone has a different experience from your racist assumptions.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Funny, I moved my child from a low-performing school to a high-performing one and noticed no difference in the quality of her education. In fact, I suspect the low-performing school from which I moved DD was the same one OP's daughter goes to just from what she has said. And no, I will not name the school to respect OP's privacy, if it is the same one.

Probably both weren't high performing, what was the great schools ratings