Great colleges with fewer intense strivers

[Anonymous]

Maybe we need to try to put some behaviors on the table to make people not see a racialized version of this type of student. We certainly know students who try hard.

Maybe it’s students who …
Can’t just be a member of a high school club, have to be the president.
Are more interested in self-beneficial relationships with teachers than fellow students.
Need an A more than they need to learn the subject material, hence constantly pester teachers for what’s on the test, how to get an A, extra credit, etc.
(Just a couple thoughts.)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I went to Duke and when I went to a top tier professional school, it was very clear how much more relaxed and comfortable in their own skin the Duke alums than people from almost every other school (while still being top achievers). We got our work done very well with much less drama than others.

Unfortunately, I think Duke has a lot more strivers now than it used to. Which is really too bad. I think a non-striver can still be happy there if they can avoid getting sucked in.

my kid at duke says classes are "fake" so far. STEM major. may ramp up and she is enjoying it but "high school was harder"

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Even if you manage to avoid “strivers” in college, would you really be able to avoid them in the workplace? People who are driven by status or social climbing naturally gravitate toward high-earning majors and careers.

Isn’t it better to get used to this reality earlier on? I understand why people mock it, but honestly, these types of individuals are hard to avoid in the long run.

No. They are not everywhere. I would avoid working somewhere with a hyper competitive vibe even if it pays better. That is not how I want to spend my life.

Agree. I had my choice of law firms and avoided the super intense ones intentionally.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Maybe we need to try to put some behaviors on the table to make people not see a racialized version of this type of student. We certainly know students who try hard.

Maybe it’s students who …
Can’t just be a member of a high school club, have to be the president.
Are more interested in self-beneficial relationships with teachers than fellow students.
Need an A more than they need to learn the subject material, hence constantly pester teachers for what’s on the test, how to get an A, extra credit, etc.
(Just a couple thoughts.)

The reality is if the student need to do the above to stay ahead, the student is not going to a T20. And you won't see this type of students in a top school.
If these are the strivers you want to avoid, then you definitely should go to a very top college.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Asian-American and transplanted Southerner here. The Southern flagships are seen as “havens” of sorts for those fleeing the “Asian” striver schools but the flagships are changing because the South is drawing a lot of immigrants. Visiting those colleges with my kid was eye-opening. Just google the clubs and activities section of the university websites and see how many different cultural affinity groups there are.

🙄
Talk about it all you want. But that’s not why the vast majority of kids apply to southern flagships.

Seen as “havens” by whom? It’s hilarious that you think white southern kids applying to UGA and Alabama are trying to “flee” from Asian kids, or are giving any thought to race or ethnicity at all. Trust me, this is not what these 17 year olds are thinking about. At all. Not every dang thing is about race.

Yes’m I understand oh wise white woman.

Please tell us when it’s is ok to talk about race.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I went to Duke and when I went to a top tier professional school, it was very clear how much more relaxed and comfortable in their own skin the Duke alums than people from almost every other school (while still being top achievers). We got our work done very well with much less drama than others.

Unfortunately, I think Duke has a lot more strivers now than it used to. Which is really too bad. I think a non-striver can still be happy there if they can avoid getting sucked in.

my kid at duke says classes are "fake" so far. STEM major. may ramp up and she is enjoying it but "high school was harder"

What is a “fake” class? Does she just mean that they’re easy? Or is she using the word to try to describe something else?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Maybe we need to try to put some behaviors on the table to make people not see a racialized version of this type of student. We certainly know students who try hard.

Maybe it’s students who …
Can’t just be a member of a high school club, have to be the president.
Are more interested in self-beneficial relationships with teachers than fellow students.
Need an A more than they need to learn the subject material, hence constantly pester teachers for what’s on the test, how to get an A, extra credit, etc.
(Just a couple thoughts.)

The reality is if the student need to do the above to stay ahead, the student is not going to a T20. And you won't see this type of students in a top school.
If these are the strivers you want to avoid, then you definitely should go to a very top college.

You couldn’t be more wrong. Yikes.

[Anonymous]

You cannot separate the word "prestigious" from "rat race." If you are using that word, you are the rat, and you are already in the race.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Maybe we need to try to put some behaviors on the table to make people not see a racialized version of this type of student. We certainly know students who try hard.

Maybe it’s students who …
Can’t just be a member of a high school club, have to be the president.
Are more interested in self-beneficial relationships with teachers than fellow students.
Need an A more than they need to learn the subject material, hence constantly pester teachers for what’s on the test, how to get an A, extra credit, etc.
(Just a couple thoughts.)

The reality is if the student need to do the above to stay ahead, the student is not going to a T20. And you won't see this type of students in a top school.
If these are the strivers you want to avoid, then you definitely should go to a very top college.

OMG. No. The "very top" colleges are almost entirely full of these kids, and a good handful of cheaters too. Also some genuine people, but a whole lot of the rest.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Maybe we need to try to put some behaviors on the table to make people not see a racialized version of this type of student. We certainly know students who try hard.

Maybe it’s students who …
Can’t just be a member of a high school club, have to be the president.
Are more interested in self-beneficial relationships with teachers than fellow students.
Need an A more than they need to learn the subject material, hence constantly pester teachers for what’s on the test, how to get an A, extra credit, etc.
(Just a couple thoughts.)

The reality is if the student need to do the above to stay ahead, the student is not going to a T20. And you won't see this type of students in a top school.
If these are the strivers you want to avoid, then you definitely should go to a very top college.

OMG. No. The "very top" colleges are almost entirely full of these kids, and a good handful of cheaters too. Also some genuine people, but a whole lot of the rest.

Impressive. What else can you tell us about all the students attending the very top colleges?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Maybe we need to try to put some behaviors on the table to make people not see a racialized version of this type of student. We certainly know students who try hard.

Maybe it’s students who …
Can’t just be a member of a high school club, have to be the president.
Are more interested in self-beneficial relationships with teachers than fellow students.
Need an A more than they need to learn the subject material, hence constantly pester teachers for what’s on the test, how to get an A, extra credit, etc.
(Just a couple thoughts.)

The reality is if the student need to do the above to stay ahead, the student is not going to a T20. And you won't see this type of students in a top school.
If these are the strivers you want to avoid, then you definitely should go to a very top college.

OMG. No. The "very top" colleges are almost entirely full of these kids, and a good handful of cheaters too. Also some genuine people, but a whole lot of the rest.

There are so many cheaters amongst the top students. So many parents who think it is fine if their kids cheat as long as they don't get caught or think that having access to previous years tests and/or test banks (when other students have not seen previous tests) is not considered cheating. My kids experience is that it tends to be white students whose parents were in fraternities/ sororities (so had the experience of the sorority / fraternity having tests from previous years) or students with immigrant parents from India or China. Many (most?) of these kids could get A's if they studied but by not having to study for every test and spreading themselves thin they can concentrate on classes where they don't have access to previous tests. They also get better recommendations because the teacher thinks they are getting difficult questions correct without ever having seen the questions.

Based on my kids' experience from a top public, half the kids who went to T20 were really the brilliant kids but the other half were smart cheaters who worked the system.

[Anonymous]

I would look away from LACs. All the posts recently show the parents really care about how they look and want it to be Harvard so badly.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Maybe we need to try to put some behaviors on the table to make people not see a racialized version of this type of student. We certainly know students who try hard.

Maybe it’s students who …
Can’t just be a member of a high school club, have to be the president.
Are more interested in self-beneficial relationships with teachers than fellow students.
Need an A more than they need to learn the subject material, hence constantly pester teachers for what’s on the test, how to get an A, extra credit, etc.
(Just a couple thoughts.)

The reality is if the student need to do the above to stay ahead, the student is not going to a T20. And you won't see this type of students in a top school.
If these are the strivers you want to avoid, then you definitely should go to a very top college.

OMG. No. The "very top" colleges are almost entirely full of these kids, and a good handful of cheaters too. Also some genuine people, but a whole lot of the rest.

There are so many cheaters amongst the top students. So many parents who think it is fine if their kids cheat as long as they don't get caught or think that having access to previous years tests and/or test banks (when other students have not seen previous tests) is not considered cheating. My kids experience is that it tends to be white students whose parents were in fraternities/ sororities (so had the experience of the sorority / fraternity having tests from previous years) or students with immigrant parents from India or China. Many (most?) of these kids could get A's if they studied but by not having to study for every test and spreading themselves thin they can concentrate on classes where they don't have access to previous tests. They also get better recommendations because the teacher thinks they are getting difficult questions correct without ever having seen the questions.

Based on my kids' experience from a top public, half the kids who went to T20 were really the brilliant kids but the other half were smart cheaters who worked the system.

If adults behave this way—winning at all costs—what message does that send to young people?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would look away from LACs. All the posts recently show the parents really care about how they look and want it to be Harvard so badly.

Not our experience at all. In fact a high number at my kids LAC applied ED because it was their top choice. My kid did not want Harvard.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Asian-American and transplanted Southerner here. The Southern flagships are seen as “havens” of sorts for those fleeing the “Asian” striver schools but the flagships are changing because the South is drawing a lot of immigrants. Visiting those colleges with my kid was eye-opening. Just google the clubs and activities section of the university websites and see how many different cultural affinity groups there are.

I’m confused why parents here believe they can avoid Asian people by sending them to state flagships. Asian students dominate the majors that make money; particularly the stem subjects are filled with Asian students after the freshman filter.

Alabama is less than 2% Asian. That’s why Roll Tide moms love it. Their kid gets to be in an “honors” college with no strivers.

My kid goes to Stony Brook which is more than half Asian. Great school, and it's increasingly getting harder to get in, but I wouldn't call any of my DS's Asian classmate as tiger kids. They're good students who want a good college education without graduating with massive debt. Like my kid. (I guess if you were an obnoxious striver, state school isn't good enough so maybe it's self-selecting but there are plenty of UMC white students like that.)