Are we ready for the Thanksgiving Vent thread?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DH left DC and I this fall, divorce is barely underway, and we are fragile. A friend invited us over for Thanksgiving with a big group of other families. Then this friend decided to make everyone go around saying what they were thankful for. She went first and I was next to her and was last. The 6 people before me alternated saying they were thankful for their family and thankful for their husband. I’m not sure what I even said. I was the only person there not in a couple but only about half the guests know about what STBX did, so it wasn’t ill-intentioned but was still a gut punch.

DC was at the kids’ table at least.

I can’t get curl up and watch a movie tonight because I have a meeting with my attorney tomorrow to prepare a ton of stuff for a court hearing next week, and I have to clean up my kitchen from making the sides and pies that no one ended up eating.

Sending love to you tonight PP. Even if you can't indulge in some self care tonight, make a plan to do so tomorrow after your meeting. Hug your DC and tell them how much you live them. Think about how you are going to fill your home with love now that it's the two of you, and how you are stronger and better off without someone who can't appreciate you.

And no you aren't the only one are going tonight. I'm there too. Holidays are hard when life isn't looking or feeling great. But we'll get through it. We will.

+1 still sounds like a good friend. Nobody pays attention to "what everyone is thankful for"; they are all thinking about what they are going to say and what they are going to eat. And DC was at a table with a lot of other children. That friend really pulled together a lot of people, and friends like that are golden. And you brought sides and pies to help out. You are all good people and will have a great year.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My husband grew up very different from me.
You know how you can tell you are at a Thanksgiving with Southern White old money?
Thanksgiving is at someone’s beach house with 9 bedrooms and 9 bathrooms……and the Dog show is on the big TV and they are drunk and can’t be pulled away from the dog show…

My husband’s brother and wife and boys get to stay with his parents at the beach house. Us? Nope. Husband married a girl from the hood who got 3 degrees from a top 10 school…..but I wasn’t what they approved of….not good enough. It’s sorta better now after 25 years..They warmed up to me after my daughter literally aced the SAT at 13. I guess my genetics weren’t “unfortunate” after all. Sorry. Still pissed about things said to me after marriage.

Vent over. Leaving in 18 hours……I don’t drink. Arrg.

So where do you stay and why didn't your husband say anything about staying at the 9 bedroom house?

We are in a hotel nearby. Husband will make excuses, but has gotten better about it.. If I point out things, he will snap and say it’s my fault for not something minor, like not agreeing to go to Thanksgiving 6 months in advance when I wasn’t sure if our daughter could come with us as she is in college. (Yes, these issues have caused marriage problems.)

Husband has been in therapy for years dealing with the damage from mostly his father. Husband wants to try to have a connection with his only sibling, his brother.
I have suggested he speak up about the clear favoritism of his parents and how it hurts him. Husband just says “We don’t need their money, and I don’t want it because it comes with strings.”

My brother-in-law married the typical Southern debutant. My husband’s parents are now best buds with brother-in-laws wife’s parents and they do things like take 3 month cruises together. Brother-in-law gets tons of “zero interest loans they can pay back when ever” It totals millions now. Us? Nothing.

Was he always less favored or only after he married you?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I had to leave before dinner. Thanksgiving is an all day event for our family which means we have to bring our dog. He has been sick and I just couldn’t relax for watching him. He got sick at my in laws so I brought him home. Now I’m waiting for everyone to come home so we can watch Stranger Things. Trying to reframe it for myself but right now it feels pretty depressing.

Of course it’s depressing when the holiday is spoiled by a freaking *dog*

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:First year in 40 years I did not have to worry about my mother or my sister ruining Thanksgiving.

My mother died a few months ago. My sister now blames me for her hating my mother for the last 40 years.

Bye.... Not my problem any more. YAY

Omg I feel ya! My mother is dead and it is so much easier in all aspects!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's only 3 of us and have no family rants, does our dog count? He is a big baby, who won't go out alone because of the plastic Giant bag trapped and billowing in my tree. It's high up and twisted in the branches and terrifying him. He's already confused about us home on a weekday.

It'll be okay, he's gonna get turkey! And for dessert, i bought what looks like whip cream but instead is a bacon flavored pup cup.

Does your dog have a calendar? How does he know it’s a weekday?

Probably was looking forward to his alone time

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DH left DC and I this fall, divorce is barely underway, and we are fragile. A friend invited us over for Thanksgiving with a big group of other families. Then this friend decided to make everyone go around saying what they were thankful for. She went first and I was next to her and was last. The 6 people before me alternated saying they were thankful for their family and thankful for their husband. I’m not sure what I even said. I was the only person there not in a couple but only about half the guests know about what STBX did, so it wasn’t ill-intentioned but was still a gut punch.

DC was at the kids’ table at least.

I can’t get curl up and watch a movie tonight because I have a meeting with my attorney tomorrow to prepare a ton of stuff for a court hearing next week, and I have to clean up my kitchen from making the sides and pies that no one ended up eating.

Sending love to you tonight PP. Even if you can't indulge in some self care tonight, make a plan to do so tomorrow after your meeting. Hug your DC and tell them how much you live them. Think about how you are going to fill your home with love now that it's the two of you, and how you are stronger and better off without someone who can't appreciate you.

And no you aren't the only one are going tonight. I'm there too. Holidays are hard when life isn't looking or feeling great. But we'll get through it. We will.

+1 still sounds like a good friend. Nobody pays attention to "what everyone is thankful for"; they are all thinking about what they are going to say and what they are going to eat. And DC was at a table with a lot of other children. That friend really pulled together a lot of people, and friends like that are golden. And you brought sides and pies to help out. You are all good people and will have a great year.

Yes, she's worth a post on the sappy "yay, Thanksgiving" thread that I'm afraid to touch. Not only did she host all of us, but I caught up on her texts after I posted my sad vent:

She was graciously refereeing her friends' feral children all night, who it turns out broke both a bathroom light fixture and a laptop and intentionally let the dog escape. Her dog was so surprised and scared that she somehow then broke her way back into the house and put herself back in her crate and they eventually found her just sitting there waiting for it to be over. Host friend was trying not to make a fuss so no one even knew it had all happened.

I know no one else paid attention to the thankful chatter. I hope we do have a great year. Thank you to both you and the other PP with the encouraging words. I had a very late night and am really hoping to have some time to decorate and watch a movie later tonight with DC. And to definitely sleep in on Sunday if I can.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My husband grew up very different from me.
You know how you can tell you are at a Thanksgiving with Southern White old money?
Thanksgiving is at someone’s beach house with 9 bedrooms and 9 bathrooms……and the Dog show is on the big TV and they are drunk and can’t be pulled away from the dog show…

My husband’s brother and wife and boys get to stay with his parents at the beach house. Us? Nope. Husband married a girl from the hood who got 3 degrees from a top 10 school…..but I wasn’t what they approved of….not good enough. It’s sorta better now after 25 years..They warmed up to me after my daughter literally aced the SAT at 13. I guess my genetics weren’t “unfortunate” after all. Sorry. Still pissed about things said to me after marriage.

Vent over. Leaving in 18 hours……I don’t drink. Arrg.

So where do you stay and why didn't your husband say anything about staying at the 9 bedroom house?

We are in a hotel nearby. Husband will make excuses, but has gotten better about it.. If I point out things, he will snap and say it’s my fault for not something minor, like not agreeing to go to Thanksgiving 6 months in advance when I wasn’t sure if our daughter could come with us as she is in college. (Yes, these issues have caused marriage problems.)

Husband has been in therapy for years dealing with the damage from mostly his father. Husband wants to try to have a connection with his only sibling, his brother.
I have suggested he speak up about the clear favoritism of his parents and how it hurts him. Husband just says “We don’t need their money, and I don’t want it because it comes with strings.”

My brother-in-law married the typical Southern debutant. My husband’s parents are now best buds with brother-in-laws wife’s parents and they do things like take 3 month cruises together. Brother-in-law gets tons of “zero interest loans they can pay back when ever” It totals millions now. Us? Nothing.

Your marriage sounds miserable 😳

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DH left DC and I this fall, divorce is barely underway, and we are fragile. A friend invited us over for Thanksgiving with a big group of other families. Then this friend decided to make everyone go around saying what they were thankful for. She went first and I was next to her and was last. The 6 people before me alternated saying they were thankful for their family and thankful for their husband. I’m not sure what I even said. I was the only person there not in a couple but only about half the guests know about what STBX did, so it wasn’t ill-intentioned but was still a gut punch.

DC was at the kids’ table at least.

I can’t get curl up and watch a movie tonight because I have a meeting with my attorney tomorrow to prepare a ton of stuff for a court hearing next week, and I have to clean up my kitchen from making the sides and pies that no one ended up eating.

Sending love to you tonight PP. Even if you can't indulge in some self care tonight, make a plan to do so tomorrow after your meeting. Hug your DC and tell them how much you live them. Think about how you are going to fill your home with love now that it's the two of you, and how you are stronger and better off without someone who can't appreciate you.

And no you aren't the only one are going tonight. I'm there too. Holidays are hard when life isn't looking or feeling great. But we'll get through it. We will.

+1 still sounds like a good friend. Nobody pays attention to "what everyone is thankful for"; they are all thinking about what they are going to say and what they are going to eat. And DC was at a table with a lot of other children. That friend really pulled together a lot of people, and friends like that are golden. And you brought sides and pies to help out. You are all good people and will have a great year.

Yes, she's worth a post on the sappy "yay, Thanksgiving" thread that I'm afraid to touch. Not only did she host all of us, but I caught up on her texts after I posted my sad vent:

She was graciously refereeing her friends' feral children all night, who it turns out broke both a bathroom light fixture and a laptop and intentionally let the dog escape. Her dog was so surprised and scared that she somehow then broke her way back into the house and put herself back in her crate and they eventually found her just sitting there waiting for it to be over. Host friend was trying not to make a fuss so no one even knew it had all happened.

I know no one else paid attention to the thankful chatter. I hope we do have a great year. Thank you to both you and the other PP with the encouraging words. I had a very late night and am really hoping to have some time to decorate and watch a movie later tonight with DC. And to definitely sleep in on Sunday if I can.

And this friend trying to do a nice thing will never host again.

[Anonymous]

Steak tips in a suitcase
How'd TSA let that one fly?
Salmonella in the sky!

- my own personal creation, not AI

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not a huge thing, but I've had major medical issues this year. I’m starting to feel better, but I have strong food aversions as a side effect of meds. I normally cook Thanksgiving dinner and love it, bur this year im ki d of just offering my recipes ans small amounts of help.

The only thing I was looking forward to and feel I could stomach is pumpkin pie which my niece baked yesterday. The first one she baked came out weird (seems likely she left out an ingredient). DH went out to get ingredients again last night, and she baked it again
I was exhausted so went to sleep while it baked. This morning I discovered they had left it out on the counter...there is no way with my health issues I can risk eating it...but everyone else seems fine, and the oven is needed for other things today

The pie is fine. When you buy them at the grocery store they are not refrigerated. The darn thing cooks for 50 minutes, it’s safe to eat.

I'm immunosuppressed and spent several months barely able to leave my house. I'm not taking the risk.

It’s not a risk but keep being dramatic if it makes you feel better

Also DH should have just bought you a pie when he went out to get more ingredients for niece. Sorry you were sick but you seem to be wallowing in it. It reminds me of the Thanksgiving where SIL finally joined us after years of not coming only to pronounce at dinner that she had a pre cancerous spot on her gums she had removed.

[Anonymous]

No one refrigerates pumpkin pies!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's bedtime, so time for my mega vent:

My DH's brother is a massive narcissist who can't get along with anyone and threw a giant fit after dinner tonight for no reason. My DH is on edge and miserable all day because his brother is so awful. I can't stand him, I never want to spend another holiday with him.

My MIL is a perfectly nice lady but she just spent the last 40 minutes telling me about her bowel movements/constipation. I tried to escape the conversation four times. She found me in the bathroom where I was brushing my teeth to continue it. I am trying to be kind and supportive because she is also upset by her son's horrible behavior but also, I just cannot.

My MIL's dog is here, ancient, and farts CONSTANTLY. The den where we are watching football smells like rotting garbage because the dog is lying on the floor in here, just farting away.

My mom wanted to do a FaceTime with us since we aren't there, but she did the thing I hate where she just passed an iPad around so we could "say hi to everyone." In theory this is nice but in reality it sucks because we wind up having the same shallow conversation 14x plus randomly wind up talking to like my brother's girlfriend's dad who I barely know. Given that I'm having a crappy holiday anyway with my ILs, it just winds up making me feel lonelier instead of more connected to anyone. I would have rather had a 10 minute call just with my mom.

I stupidly went on social media to try and "relax" after a stressful holiday and instead, of course, it's just photos of other people having nicer holidays than I'm having. Now I hate these people too. Why do you have to rub it in?? You can't just enjoy your nice holiday devoid of jerk BILs, stinky dogs, and detailed info about your MIL's large intestine? You have to post a bunch of photos of it so everyone else knows? Be quiet.

I am grateful for my DH, our kid, my job, my wonderful friends, and my reasonably good health this year. But I am not happy and had a crappy holiday.

/rant

I am sorry Op. Similar situation here with BIL, ILs and missing my family.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No one refrigerates pumpkin pies!

I do.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No one refrigerates pumpkin pies!

I do.

I do too. I treat it like a custard pie.

[Anonymous]

Costco doesn't refrigerate its pumpkin pies