Any other moms out just not order when you eat with your family?

[Anonymous]

I just don’t know why you go out yo eat as a family OP. Doesn’t sound like an enjoyable experience for any of you.

[Anonymous]

Depends on the restaurant. Fast food or carry out, usually not. Restaurants with standard food like Cheesecake Factory, usually not. Somewhere with good food, I will order.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes, I do this a lot now. My kids are older, and I never have any idea how much they will eat. Food's gotten so expensive, and my family doesn't do well eating leftovers. For four people I'll order three entrees and wait to see how hungry people are.

I think that's fine if you make it clear when ordering like "we're going to order these 3 things to share" and not let everyone order and one person is at everyone else's whim. My DH and I often order 1 entree and 2 sides to share or a couple of small plates and no entree but we make it clear its to be shared and they often split things onto separate plates for us without us asking which is nice.

This thread is eye-opening. Where is this happening? I've never seen 4 people eating one entree. Even with two sides. (Unless we're at a tapas place with plates to share.)

Are you doing this with girlfriends too? Why in the world would you pay for children to eat out if you deny yourselves? I feel like this must bleed into other things. Not paying for massages for you, but sports for kids. Etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes, I do this a lot now. My kids are older, and I never have any idea how much they will eat. Food's gotten so expensive, and my family doesn't do well eating leftovers. For four people I'll order three entrees and wait to see how hungry people are.

I think that's fine if you make it clear when ordering like "we're going to order these 3 things to share" and not let everyone order and one person is at everyone else's whim. My DH and I often order 1 entree and 2 sides to share or a couple of small plates and no entree but we make it clear its to be shared and they often split things onto separate plates for us without us asking which is nice.

This thread is eye-opening. Where is this happening? I've never seen 4 people eating one entree. Even with two sides. (Unless we're at a tapas place with plates to share.)

Are you doing this with girlfriends too? Why in the world would you pay for children to eat out if you deny yourselves? I feel like this must bleed into other things. Not paying for massages for you, but sports for kids. Etc.

You’ve never shared Chinese food?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, why don’t you order what you want, tell the kids they don’t get to choose/order, and that they are expected to eat from whatever scraps you don’t eat after you’ve finished? See how bad that sounds?

Her kids aren’t ordering her to eat their scraps. She is choosing to do so because that’s what she prefers to do. So your scenario is in no way comparable.

It is shocking how triggered some people are at the thought of just waiting to eat the food that you know is going to be left. I think ya’ll are projecting your own weird issues around food onto OP.

“I don’t need anything. I will just have your leftovers.” Is classic covert narcissist behavior. And there is always a very weird dance going on between the husband and wife when one is a covert narcissist.

How is that narcissistic? Not everything is narcissism. Sometimes people just don’t like food waste. Have you googled narcissism?

Who has wasted food? If you don't take your leftovers home to eat later that's on you. Why do you do that?

JFC nobody is going to box up a third of a cheeseburger, a leftover chicken tender, and grilled cheese crusts (some of the examples from this thread) to bring home to eat *later*. But those things can make a perfectly satisfactory meal while still in the restaurant.

OP I don’t know how you did it, but you have somehow managed to draw ALL of the smug yet stupid moms of DCUM out of the woodwork with this completely innocuous topic. There has to be some weird psychology behind why so many women are so OFFENDED at the prospect of eating the kids’ leftovers. This whole thread is wild.

This reminds me of a friend from HS who would do this. I wonder if she's the OP of the thread. I would feel unsatsified and like a total scrounge in front of my family.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes, I do this a lot now. My kids are older, and I never have any idea how much they will eat. Food's gotten so expensive, and my family doesn't do well eating leftovers. For four people I'll order three entrees and wait to see how hungry people are.

I think that's fine if you make it clear when ordering like "we're going to order these 3 things to share" and not let everyone order and one person is at everyone else's whim. My DH and I often order 1 entree and 2 sides to share or a couple of small plates and no entree but we make it clear its to be shared and they often split things onto separate plates for us without us asking which is nice.

This thread is eye-opening. Where is this happening? I've never seen 4 people eating one entree. Even with two sides. (Unless we're at a tapas place with plates to share.)

Are you doing this with girlfriends too? Why in the world would you pay for children to eat out if you deny yourselves? I feel like this must bleed into other things. Not paying for massages for you, but sports for kids. Etc.

You’ve never shared Chinese food?

Are you always willfully obtuse? I mentioned tapas, didn't I? That's not what OP is talking about, and many pp's mentioned eating literal scraps.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes, I do this a lot now. My kids are older, and I never have any idea how much they will eat. Food's gotten so expensive, and my family doesn't do well eating leftovers. For four people I'll order three entrees and wait to see how hungry people are.

I think that's fine if you make it clear when ordering like "we're going to order these 3 things to share" and not let everyone order and one person is at everyone else's whim. My DH and I often order 1 entree and 2 sides to share or a couple of small plates and no entree but we make it clear its to be shared and they often split things onto separate plates for us without us asking which is nice.

This thread is eye-opening. Where is this happening? I've never seen 4 people eating one entree. Even with two sides. (Unless we're at a tapas place with plates to share.)

Are you doing this with girlfriends too? Why in the world would you pay for children to eat out if you deny yourselves? I feel like this must bleed into other things. Not paying for massages for you, but sports for kids. Etc.

You’ve never shared Chinese food?

Are you always willfully obtuse? I mentioned tapas, didn't I? That's not what OP is talking about, and many pp's mentioned eating literal scraps.

You quoted me. Sorry you don’t know how to order family style and share with family or friends. Thai, Chinese, italian, small plates, etc. not every place is like Applebees. Everyone doesn’t need their own entree some things are for the table to share.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:i think people are triggered maybe because they feel somehow attacked by someone saving money in this way or feeling like food waste is 'wrong'.

not over ordering is very european. Americans have much larger portions and less anxiety overall about food waste. i think american culture is very defensive over the idea that you should be able to eat whatever you want/ eat large amounts, but in a lot of cultures having leftover food at the end of the meal is poor planning.

in most places in europe, they'd look at you aghast if you asked for food in a doggy bag. it's just not done there. bc their portions are much smaller to begin with and it's just culturally different.

it's reasonable for someone to feel uncomfortable spending money on food that they dont need to eat during that meal. and also reasonable for someone to prefer to know they are getting what they want. restaurants have become very expensive and typically portion sizes ARE too large.

Excess food is celebrated in many cultures around the world. Not having leftover food is seen as an insult to guests.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes, I do this a lot now. My kids are older, and I never have any idea how much they will eat. Food's gotten so expensive, and my family doesn't do well eating leftovers. For four people I'll order three entrees and wait to see how hungry people are.

I think that's fine if you make it clear when ordering like "we're going to order these 3 things to share" and not let everyone order and one person is at everyone else's whim. My DH and I often order 1 entree and 2 sides to share or a couple of small plates and no entree but we make it clear its to be shared and they often split things onto separate plates for us without us asking which is nice.

This thread is eye-opening. Where is this happening? I've never seen 4 people eating one entree. Even with two sides. (Unless we're at a tapas place with plates to share.)

Are you doing this with girlfriends too? Why in the world would you pay for children to eat out if you deny yourselves? I feel like this must bleed into other things. Not paying for massages for you, but sports for kids. Etc.

You’ve never shared Chinese food?

Are you always willfully obtuse? I mentioned tapas, didn't I? That's not what OP is talking about, and many pp's mentioned eating literal scraps.

You quoted me. Sorry you don’t know how to order family style and share with family or friends. Thai, Chinese, italian, small plates, etc. not every place is like Applebees. Everyone doesn’t need their own entree some things are for the table to share.

Doubling down on your idiocy. This isn't a post about family-style restaurants. If that's what you truly meant, you should have specified it, but I think you doth protest too much. Who's talking about Applebees?! If you're eating out in DCUMlandia, you're going to actual restaurants.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How can OPs family have large appetites such that there is hardly any food left for OP yet OP is concerned about "waste"? OP doesn't make a lot of sense which is what people are reacting to. Oh, and also OP just seems extremely cheap. Stop eating out so much if you can't afford it and it puts a crimp in the grocery budget.

Op - there are many repliers on this thread.
There is always more than enough food left for me and I dont wait to eat it - I just rarely choose what I would naturally order bc the kids are permanently in denial that they won’t eat anything.

Maybe it’s cheap but if I save $600 in a year that way, imagine I put it on nvidia in 2022 (which I did) - it turns into many thousands.

I just truly am uncomfortable with throwing money away when I know everyone will have enough. If we wouldn’t then I wouldn’t do it

You keep changing what you are saying.

If you're asking if other people share meals with their kids, then yes, that's super common. That's completely different from what you described in your OP.

op - it's somewhere in between. i do not order what i order if i go out with my husband alone. bc i know they wont finish theirs. but i also like to let them order what they want to eat, and then i say 'i will have some of yours' and they say 'no, i will eat it all' and i say 'you will not eat it all' and they have varying levels of openness to this fact. then usually the food comes and they still insist that they are SO HUNGRY and will eat all of it, but they never ever do. they barely finish half.
I was just wondering if other moms have the same experience - did NOT mean to start such a debate!
also we live in nyc and kids meals are few and far between here.

Does it occur to you that maybe your kids would actually eat their entire meals (like they're telling you they would), but they feel pressured to stop eating because it's awkward to have you hungrily eyeing their meals and waiting to pounce?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You know the kind of people who when their two adult children come home to visit with their two spouses and six kids total, think that 8 bagels are plenty for brunch? (Two bagel per family, everyone gets 1/3-1/2 a bagel which should be PLENTY because in this family we are FRUGAL and do not WASTE FOOD.) The only sound during the brunch is the scrape-scrape of the butter knife adding slivers of margarine in infinitesimal amounts to the family bagel thin.

The next and final meal is dinner, served at 7:30 pm despite 75% of the family being under the age of 5. It's 1 chicken drumstick each, a smattering of peas, and half a Grand's Biscuit that was previously baked and frozen and has just been defrosted for this special occasion. Dessert is freezer burned ice cream sandwiches from last summer even though we are well into march by now.

Anyway, now we know what these people do when they go out to eat.

sounds like you have beef with one very specific individual and maybe should just not go to their house any more?

DP - are you not familiar with Burger King Lady?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How can OPs family have large appetites such that there is hardly any food left for OP yet OP is concerned about "waste"? OP doesn't make a lot of sense which is what people are reacting to. Oh, and also OP just seems extremely cheap. Stop eating out so much if you can't afford it and it puts a crimp in the grocery budget.

Op - there are many repliers on this thread.
There is always more than enough food left for me and I dont wait to eat it - I just rarely choose what I would naturally order bc the kids are permanently in denial that they won’t eat anything.

Maybe it’s cheap but if I save $600 in a year that way, imagine I put it on nvidia in 2022 (which I did) - it turns into many thousands.

I just truly am uncomfortable with throwing money away when I know everyone will have enough. If we wouldn’t then I wouldn’t do it

You keep changing what you are saying.

If you're asking if other people share meals with their kids, then yes, that's super common. That's completely different from what you described in your OP.

op - it's somewhere in between. i do not order what i order if i go out with my husband alone. bc i know they wont finish theirs. but i also like to let them order what they want to eat, and then i say 'i will have some of yours' and they say 'no, i will eat it all' and i say 'you will not eat it all' and they have varying levels of openness to this fact. then usually the food comes and they still insist that they are SO HUNGRY and will eat all of it, but they never ever do. they barely finish half.
I was just wondering if other moms have the same experience - did NOT mean to start such a debate!
also we live in nyc and kids meals are few and far between here.

OMG wow. Your kids are starving and leaving food for you because otherwise you don't eat. You are shaming the into not finishing. The opposite side of the clean plate coin. Way to trigger eating disorders in the next generation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you get the free bread sticks, I'm sure you could make a cross out of them.

This is one of my favorite comments, ever.

+1

Between this, the "in Europe..." troll, and the lady boasting about how she'll order alcohol but no food, this is shaping up to be a 10/10 thread.

[Anonymous]

You can always ask the restaurant that you would like to share the dishes even at non-family restaurants. It’s much more practical that way with these huge portions.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How can OPs family have large appetites such that there is hardly any food left for OP yet OP is concerned about "waste"? OP doesn't make a lot of sense which is what people are reacting to. Oh, and also OP just seems extremely cheap. Stop eating out so much if you can't afford it and it puts a crimp in the grocery budget.

Op - there are many repliers on this thread.
There is always more than enough food left for me and I dont wait to eat it - I just rarely choose what I would naturally order bc the kids are permanently in denial that they won’t eat anything.

Maybe it’s cheap but if I save $600 in a year that way, imagine I put it on nvidia in 2022 (which I did) - it turns into many thousands.

I just truly am uncomfortable with throwing money away when I know everyone will have enough. If we wouldn’t then I wouldn’t do it

You keep changing what you are saying.

If you're asking if other people share meals with their kids, then yes, that's super common. That's completely different from what you described in your OP.

op - it's somewhere in between. i do not order what i order if i go out with my husband alone. bc i know they wont finish theirs. but i also like to let them order what they want to eat, and then i say 'i will have some of yours' and they say 'no, i will eat it all' and i say 'you will not eat it all' and they have varying levels of openness to this fact. then usually the food comes and they still insist that they are SO HUNGRY and will eat all of it, but they never ever do. they barely finish half.
I was just wondering if other moms have the same experience - did NOT mean to start such a debate!
also we live in nyc and kids meals are few and far between here.

Ok now we are getting a fuller picture. You are one of these Bethenny Frankel types who insists you eat all things, whatever you want, but in reality you just take a few bites of things and are fortunate that you have a good metabolism and your appetite doesn’t betray you and make you actually as hungry as the average person.

I think your kids are communicating loud and clear that they don’t want you having some of their food. You are blowing past their boundaries and imposing your desire to not order for yourself upon them, which they saying, but you’re pretty much taking away any agency they have. It’s one thing not to order. It’s another thing to entitle yourself to someone else’s food, even if they are not going to finish it in one sitting.

Separately, the poster who insists that no adult should ever eat a full piece of cake is ridiculous. No one else is saying eating a piece of cake weekly is so healthy. But different adults have different bodies and appetites and if a piece of cake were such a gargantuan issue, don’t you think nearly every country would cut the slices differently? But they don’t. Also, not everyone is obsessed with eating only healthy foods 100 percent of the time. Some people greatly enjoy cake to celebrate a birthday. If there is no room in your life for occasional cake, that is your prerogative but to insist that no one may eat a piece of cake is pretty wild. Are we allowed a whole slice of pie on Thanksgiving? Or just a bite?

What?! I think eating a piece of cake weekly is fine. A whole cake is another story, but one piece? GTFO.