I think I win the Thanksgiving 2023 petty vents already

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Are we sharing petty vents here?

My MIL just asked why I don't have a Christmas tree and nativity scene. It's because I'm Jewish. I've been with her son for 15 years.

Now she's rinsing wax out of her ear and her husband was encouraging her to collect it in one of our cups, while they do the procedure at our kitchen sink. Luckily she realized this was not the best course and now they are doing it into an empty plastic container in the bathroom. Phew!

Believe it or not I love my in laws but oh boy by day three of a visit I am ready to have my house back.

Oh man, that’s terrible. On both counts. I’m really sorry, especially, about the nativity scene and Christmas tree comment.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are we sharing petty vents here?

My MIL just asked why I don't have a Christmas tree and nativity scene. It's because I'm Jewish. I've been with her son for 15 years.

Now she's rinsing wax out of her ear and her husband was encouraging her to collect it in one of our cups, while they do the procedure at our kitchen sink. Luckily she realized this was not the best course and now they are doing it into an empty plastic container in the bathroom. Phew!

Believe it or not I love my in laws but oh boy by day three of a visit I am ready to have my house back.

Oh man, that’s terrible. On both counts. I’m really sorry, especially, about the nativity scene and Christmas tree comment.

Oh we've been going over the Christmas stuff for as long as I've been around with them!

The hilarious thing is that if her son wanted a Christmas tree, we'd get one. He's not interested. And I'm certainly not going to be the one to put it up! (We don't have kids - if we did, they'd probably have more Jewish identity than Christian, only because I have more of a Jewish identity than my husband has a Christian one.)

ANYWAY! Petty vents - feels good to let them out. Thank you for providing the platform.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are we sharing petty vents here?

My MIL just asked why I don't have a Christmas tree and nativity scene. It's because I'm Jewish. I've been with her son for 15 years.

Now she's rinsing wax out of her ear and her husband was encouraging her to collect it in one of our cups, while they do the procedure at our kitchen sink. Luckily she realized this was not the best course and now they are doing it into an empty plastic container in the bathroom. Phew!

Believe it or not I love my in laws but oh boy by day three of a visit I am ready to have my house back.

Oh man, that’s terrible. On both counts. I’m really sorry, especially, about the nativity scene and Christmas tree comment.

Oh we've been going over the Christmas stuff for as long as I've been around with them!

The hilarious thing is that if her son wanted a Christmas tree, we'd get one. He's not interested. And I'm certainly not going to be the one to put it up! (We don't have kids - if we did, they'd probably have more Jewish identity than Christian, only because I have more of a Jewish identity than my husband has a Christian one.)

ANYWAY! Petty vents - feels good to let them out. Thank you for providing the platform.

Given all of the above it would actually be pretty weird if you DID have a nativity scene set up. Jewish people and non practicing Christians aren’t exactly setting up big birth of Christ scenes all over their homes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are we sharing petty vents here?

My MIL just asked why I don't have a Christmas tree and nativity scene. It's because I'm Jewish. I've been with her son for 15 years.

Now she's rinsing wax out of her ear and her husband was encouraging her to collect it in one of our cups, while they do the procedure at our kitchen sink. Luckily she realized this was not the best course and now they are doing it into an empty plastic container in the bathroom. Phew!

Believe it or not I love my in laws but oh boy by day three of a visit I am ready to have my house back.

Oh man, that’s terrible. On both counts. I’m really sorry, especially, about the nativity scene and Christmas tree comment.

Oh we've been going over the Christmas stuff for as long as I've been around with them!

The hilarious thing is that if her son wanted a Christmas tree, we'd get one. He's not interested. And I'm certainly not going to be the one to put it up! (We don't have kids - if we did, they'd probably have more Jewish identity than Christian, only because I have more of a Jewish identity than my husband has a Christian one.)

ANYWAY! Petty vents - feels good to let them out. Thank you for providing the platform.

Given all of the above it would actually be pretty weird if you DID have a nativity scene set up. Jewish people and non practicing Christians aren’t exactly setting up big birth of Christ scenes all over their homes.

Which is what I tell my MIL every time this comes up! That's when she tells me that the trees have no religious meanings and the nativity scenes are just nice and holiday-like. This morning I bursted out something ridiculous about Jewish assimilation and then ran into my bedroom to shower. I should have just told her that her son doesn't want them and dropped it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why wouldn't your DH be the one to "deal with them" anyway? When my MIL comes to visit, the timing etc doesn't stress me because she is DH's cross to bear. Makes her sound like a bad thing, I know, which she's not. She's just his responsibility rather than mine.

SIL here. I like to believe I am not high maintenance but I do require being given the sheets and maybe a cup of tea and some food on arrival (o visit my brother once a year).
We always used to have a good relationship with my SIL, but I think she started “making me my brother’s responsibility” lately (maybe for the last couple of years?)
It looks weird and makes her look like a bad host and unfriendly person.
I am not a super hostess myself but it doesn’t bother me to make my guest comfortable and offer tea and maybe some snacks or food. I don’t get it when people act all put out by such huge tasks.

This is not meant as an argument with OP or PP, just an observation. It’s not that hard to be a minimally good host. Not serving hand and foot on anyone but just being friendly and providing initial basic supplies.

What’s wrong with your brother that he’s not offering you tea or making you comfortable? Is he a quadriplegic, or what? Why do you expect hospitality from someone with a vagina and not your brother, hmm?

Oh, he does. It’s just that it’s so obvious how she is now “leaving everything to him”, it’s eyeroll worthy.
She then eases up and becomes herself (I.e. does some things when she is around and leaves others to her DH/my brother when it’s convenient for them) but it’s just funny how she tries to be this modern woman who is letting her husband take responsibility for his family by leaving until tea is served lol

You are lucky she is still allowing you to come stay because you sound absolutely HORRIBLE to have as a guest. This was most likely their compromise. You shoudl be embarrassed your brother doesn't know how to host.

When I got visit my brother and his wife, I ask him for whatever I need. Or I take myself to the coffee shop around the corner and get my own drink and a snack. It's not hard!

Yup. Tea and snacks lady has now made herself DCUM famous.

We like to have lattes in the morning, so we have a Nespresso at home. When we visit other people who don’t have that, we just buy lattes at a coffee shop on our way over each morning. It’s not hard.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This tea and cheese indeed makes me laugh because i can imagine what the SIL is thinking...
In my family people are so worried about being an imposition that we bring bags of food with us when staying with family so as not to cause any expense or trouble. My aunt showed up with a tin of coffee, a tupperware full of hardboiled eggs, oranges and a loaf of bread "so she wouldn't be a bother."

Cheese lady here. Just FYI I always bring something for the hosts. Maybe I should start bringing cheese lol

No bigger tell that someone is a passive-aggressive jackhole than loling at their own comments.

"I'm complaining repeatedly about a situation where I'm in the wrong but I'm merry and adorable!"

Something really triggered you didn’t it

Is this an AI response? Definitely need to look up "triggered"

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Are we sharing petty vents here?

My MIL just asked why I don't have a Christmas tree and nativity scene. It's because I'm Jewish. I've been with her son for 15 years.

Now she's rinsing wax out of her ear and her husband was encouraging her to collect it in one of our cups, while they do the procedure at our kitchen sink. Luckily she realized this was not the best course and now they are doing it into an empty plastic container in the bathroom. Phew!

Believe it or not I love my in laws but oh boy by day three of a visit I am ready to have my house back.

Absolutely vomit-inducing: asking about the Christmas Tree AND the ear wax procedure. Both egregiously rude.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yea, I get it. OP is soooo busy that she doesn’t even have time to log onto the internet and compose a long diatribe complaining about her in laws . . .

Oh wait.

Very much this. OP is a drama queen and couldn't wait to sign on here to "win" the contest. What is wrong with people?

“Thanksgiving petty vent winner” is no small title and should be respected and honored on this site. Please refrain from language that demeans the title as this language is offensive and unnecessary.

Hear, hear!

[Anonymous]

May I please retroactively submit a petty vent from Thanksgiving 2018? Great. Thank you.

DH and I proudly hosted our families - 23 total guests, ages 10-81. We carefully 3 adjoined tables in an L shape so we could all essentially eat together although one table spilled over into the (open) living room. I set a beautiful table. MIL sat down for the meal and first question to me was, “if money were no object, what room do you think you’d want to renovate first?” I was stunned and before I could say anything she added, “when I can’t sleep I dream that I won the lottery and I’m re-doing your house. I’d start with this (dining room) right here.”

Never change, Susan. Now MIL has a diagnosed cognitive deficit and so all previous nasty comments and remarks are to be viewed
as an early warning sign we missed…

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:May I please retroactively submit a petty vent from Thanksgiving 2018? Great. Thank you.

DH and I proudly hosted our families - 23 total guests, ages 10-81. We carefully 3 adjoined tables in an L shape so we could all essentially eat together although one table spilled over into the (open) living room. I set a beautiful table. MIL sat down for the meal and first question to me was, “if money were no object, what room do you think you’d want to renovate first?” I was stunned and before I could say anything she added, “when I can’t sleep I dream that I won the lottery and I’m re-doing your house. I’d start with this (dining room) right here.”

Never change, Susan. Now MIL has a diagnosed cognitive deficit and so all previous nasty comments and remarks are to be viewed
as an early warning sign we missed…

Are you experiencing cognitive decline, because you’ve posted this exact story on DCUM at least three times. This is a NEW thread for petty vents this year.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:May I please retroactively submit a petty vent from Thanksgiving 2018? Great. Thank you.

DH and I proudly hosted our families - 23 total guests, ages 10-81. We carefully 3 adjoined tables in an L shape so we could all essentially eat together although one table spilled over into the (open) living room. I set a beautiful table. MIL sat down for the meal and first question to me was, “if money were no object, what room do you think you’d want to renovate first?” I was stunned and before I could say anything she added, “when I can’t sleep I dream that I won the lottery and I’m re-doing your house. I’d start with this (dining room) right here.”

Never change, Susan. Now MIL has a diagnosed cognitive deficit and so all previous nasty comments and remarks are to be viewed
as an early warning sign we missed…

I, for one, hadn’t heard this one and it is SO RUDE! It does kind of seem like a cognitive decline kind of thing to say though

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yea, I get it. OP is soooo busy that she doesn’t even have time to log onto the internet and compose a long diatribe complaining about her in laws . . .

Oh wait.

It’s fine. DCUM is a therapeutic for times like these. In-laws are rude AF and I’d be squirreled away in my room as well.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Tea and cheese poster here. I am glad I entertained you all but sorry I inadvertently derailed the thread somewhat.
All I wanted to say that it’s not too much to welcome the guests (even if they are early! Which is, I agree, a major inconvenience, but they are old!) and offer them tea or coffee or whatever. Then it is perfectly fine to retreat!
Offering lunch would be nice, but not expected from a typical “modern woman”.
Did the ILs commit a faux pas? Yes. Did they do it on purpose? I doubt it! They are old and anxious. OP might be there one day as well.

Except that you also wanted to make clear that it wasn’t enough for your brother to welcome you in this way but rather berate your SIL for not being the one to do it.

That’s your interpretation.
My point is that whoever opens the door won’t die of being polite and maybe even - gasp!- offering tea or coffee!

Normal Americans don’t offer tea and coffee to a guest immediately upon their arrival…maybe a glass of water at most. this sounds like a cultural issue.

What? When we have people over I can’t imagine offering them only a glass of water. As soon as they put their stuff down I offer guests a drink. What I offer depends on the time of day.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Are we sharing petty vents here?

My MIL just asked why I don't have a Christmas tree and nativity scene. It's because I'm Jewish. I've been with her son for 15 years.

Now she's rinsing wax out of her ear and her husband was encouraging her to collect it in one of our cups, while they do the procedure at our kitchen sink. Luckily she realized this was not the best course and now they are doing it into an empty plastic container in the bathroom. Phew!

Believe it or not I love my in laws but oh boy by day three of a visit I am ready to have my house back.

How on earth do you rinse wax out of your ears?? Im intrigued!

[Anonymous]

So this isnt TDay related, but I just remembered one time that my mom and her husband invited me and DH out to dinner. We were supposed to meet at the restaurant at 6, and got there at like 550. THEY HAD ALREADY ORDERED AND WERE EATING! Like wtf?? We werent late, they just showed up at like 5 and wanted to order? So we ordered and by the time our food came they were finished, and they just watched us eat.
So f-king bizarre.