Dooce /Heather Armstrong

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
I feel no shame, because I bear no responsibility. Firstly, we're all assuming Heather killed herself. For all we know, she got hit by a car or something. Secondly, adults are responsible for themselves. Heather had health insurance, family and friends - she had access to all the resources for blocking any site that talked about her online. Again, if you don't want to read things about yourself, you make a choice to avoid them.

With regard to the underlined:

Of course you don't.
Heartless, apathetic people rarely do.

I seriously hope you don't have children, because one day, your child may come home and tell you that other girls are posting lies about her on Snapchat & Instagram, and she's hysterical crying because EVERYONE she knows is gossiping & laughing at her.

Are you going to tell your daughter to just delete Snapchat, block everyone in her school, and avoid all of the whispers, pointing and taunts that she hears in the hallways -- because avoiding them is her choice?

I wonder if you'd be this heartless & direct to your own child?

If your answer is "Yes, I would be", then you're a calous, compasionless, pitiful excuse for a parent.

If the answer is "No, of course I wouldn't" then you're a pathetic, inauthentic hypocrite.

Either way, you seem to have a deeply flawed character defect.

These are two different situations. Heather could absolutely avoid blogsnark, GOMI, reddit, etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Give me vintage dooce any day over today's carefully curated influencers with staged photos that hide all the imperfections and make normal people feel inferior.

I remember thinking dooce was a little like the Erma Bombeck whose humor columns about homemaking and kids I grew up reading, except more sped up and modern and with a lot more cursing and dogs.

Girls Gone Child was another blog I used to follow. She wrote a Peter Pan movie, and her husband died of cancer, and she's raising her kids alone now. Mighty Girl was another one that's long since disappeared. Momversation. The Bloggie awards. I like the Cory Doctorow quote the PP above wrote. It started off really nice, as a community.

The Sound of Music kids grew up to write about how their nanny exploited them. Child actors get their money taken by their parents all the time. There really should be rules about what you are and aren't allowed to publish online or on social media. That said, at what point is the experience your kids and at what point is it your own, as a parent? There is value to writing about the ins-and-outs of raising children -- I know because I used to get good tips from some of those old blogs. Sure, you keep the most sensitive info to yourself or discuss with friends. But we're not, and shouldn't be, banning books with stories about raising kids in them.

I think now, 20 (?) years after it all started, some of those old time bloggers should get together and write a proposed set of standards for mommy and daddy blogging, based on the fallout from their own experiences. I think people would find it useful!

This is such a rube’s take. It was and is ALL garbage, and the curation by Dooce was as extreme as a Millenial-pink swathed latte-addict travel blogger. ALL of the OG bloggers eventually had their houses of cards fall down. It was all always bullshit to seem so rill like wine mom with mastitis really rill. It’s all so goddamned dumb, and that’s fine, but it’s not exactly writing. And the Cool Girl who was actually a rill mess is fundamentally boring, which is the saddest thing of all.

Heather built an empire. What more did the woman have to do to get credit? She pulled in millions of readers at times. She had 3 book deals. She’s a NYT bestseller.

But sure, because it didn’t resonate with YOU it’s all garbage. When by any opinion she was massively successful. I don’t like some authors, but I don’t go around yelling that they suck. I just don’t read them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
I feel no shame, because I bear no responsibility. Firstly, we're all assuming Heather killed herself. For all we know, she got hit by a car or something. Secondly, adults are responsible for themselves. Heather had health insurance, family and friends - she had access to all the resources for blocking any site that talked about her online. Again, if you don't want to read things about yourself, you make a choice to avoid them.

With regard to the underlined:

Of course you don't.
Heartless, apathetic people rarely do.

I seriously hope you don't have children, because one day, your child may come home and tell you that other girls are posting lies about her on Snapchat & Instagram, and she's hysterical crying because EVERYONE she knows is gossiping & laughing at her.

Are you going to tell your daughter to just delete Snapchat, block everyone in her school, and avoid all of the whispers, pointing and taunts that she hears in the hallways -- because avoiding them is her choice?

I wonder if you'd be this heartless & direct to your own child?

If your answer is "Yes, I would be", then you're a calous, compasionless, pitiful excuse for a parent.

If the answer is "No, of course I wouldn't" then you're a pathetic, inauthentic hypocrite.

Either way, you seem to have a deeply flawed character defect.

Are all of Heather’s fans dramatic drama queens at 50ish or just you? Good fing god.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Give me vintage dooce any day over today's carefully curated influencers with staged photos that hide all the imperfections and make normal people feel inferior.

I remember thinking dooce was a little like the Erma Bombeck whose humor columns about homemaking and kids I grew up reading, except more sped up and modern and with a lot more cursing and dogs.

Girls Gone Child was another blog I used to follow. She wrote a Peter Pan movie, and her husband died of cancer, and she's raising her kids alone now. Mighty Girl was another one that's long since disappeared. Momversation. The Bloggie awards. I like the Cory Doctorow quote the PP above wrote. It started off really nice, as a community.

The Sound of Music kids grew up to write about how their nanny exploited them. Child actors get their money taken by their parents all the time. There really should be rules about what you are and aren't allowed to publish online or on social media. That said, at what point is the experience your kids and at what point is it your own, as a parent? There is value to writing about the ins-and-outs of raising children -- I know because I used to get good tips from some of those old blogs. Sure, you keep the most sensitive info to yourself or discuss with friends. But we're not, and shouldn't be, banning books with stories about raising kids in them.

I think now, 20 (?) years after it all started, some of those old time bloggers should get together and write a proposed set of standards for mommy and daddy blogging, based on the fallout from their own experiences. I think people would find it useful!

This is such a rube’s take. It was and is ALL garbage, and the curation by Dooce was as extreme as a Millenial-pink swathed latte-addict travel blogger. ALL of the OG bloggers eventually had their houses of cards fall down. It was all always bullshit to seem so rill like wine mom with mastitis really rill. It’s all so goddamned dumb, and that’s fine, but it’s not exactly writing. And the Cool Girl who was actually a rill mess is fundamentally boring, which is the saddest thing of all.

Heather built an empire. What more did the woman have to do to get credit? She pulled in millions of readers at times. She had 3 book deals. She’s a NYT bestseller.

But sure, because it didn’t resonate with YOU it’s all garbage. When by any opinion she was massively successful. I don’t like some authors, but I don’t go around yelling that they suck. I just don’t read them.

It's clear the pp has a major axe to grind with her. It's easy to see from this smug post (and the many others) that she was totally triggered by her.

[Anonymous]

So, not gonna lie, I haven't followed Heather or GOMI in years, but I did just read on GOMI this problematic comment about her daughter (the comment itself was much larger & more detailed, but I just grabbed the relevant excerpt).

"Dooce's last big social media hurrah was to out her (daughter) as non-binary and to be AGAINST it..."

Can anyone share a bit of what happened here? This sounds awful.

I can't believe she would do this to her girls a few days before Mothers day, too. 😭

[Anonymous]

I find it ironic that the notorious Alice of GOMI is apparently posting here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:


So, not gonna lie, I haven't followed Heather or GOMI in years, but I did just read on GOMI this problematic comment about her daughter (the comment itself was much larger & more detailed, but I just grabbed the relevant excerpt).

"Dooce's last big social media hurrah was to out her (daughter) as non-binary and to be AGAINST it..."

Can anyone share a bit of what happened here? This sounds awful.

I can't believe she would do this to her girls a few days before Mothers day, too. 😭

You can read all about it here on this thread from last year:
Dooce
https://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/1075661.page

[Anonymous]

What a heroic pure truth-teller.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:


So, not gonna lie, I haven't followed Heather or GOMI in years, but I did just read on GOMI this problematic comment about her daughter (the comment itself was much larger & more detailed, but I just grabbed the relevant excerpt).

"Dooce's last big social media hurrah was to out her (daughter) as non-binary and to be AGAINST it..."

Can anyone share a bit of what happened here? This sounds awful.

I can't believe she would do this to her girls a few days before Mothers day, too. 😭

You can read all about it here on this thread from last year:
Dooce
https://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/1075661.page

Thanks so much!

[Anonymous]

This is such a rube’s take. It was and is ALL garbage, and the curation by Dooce was as extreme as a Millenial-pink swathed latte-addict travel blogger. ALL of the OG bloggers eventually had their houses of cards fall down. It was all always bullshit to seem so rill like wine mom with mastitis really rill. It’s all so goddamned dumb, and that’s fine, but it’s not exactly writing. And the Cool Girl who was actually a rill mess is fundamentally boring, which is the saddest thing of all.

Hi Alice! I see you haven't changed since your Mercatur days. Still a miserable, judgemental excuse for a human being.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She was a tremendously gifted writer. And so obviously struggling with demons, almost all the time. Even when she was well....well, she was never really well. A very, very sad story.

NP and the her obit-linked blog post was a rambling, incoherent mess. D- writing.

I write this as someone who never even heard of "Dooce" until yesterday when I saw her obit. I've never read a word of hers until this thread prompted me to look at that linked blog yesterday.

You and the other PP judging the quality of that post's writing are humans somehow born without a shred of empathy, and you also lack any intelligence for understanding context.

Did you both miss, or just choose to ignore, the context? This was linked in the obit because--really, ONLY because--it was her final public post before she apparently succumbed again to addiction and then shortly after, killed herself. That's why it's getting attention. Not because anyone's trying to hold it up as an example of good writing generally or even an example of her past work's quality.

I question the reasoning behind obits directing people to the last public outpourings of a person who sadly was so mentally ill she committed suicide; I wish they hadn't linked that particular post.

But the two of you who came here to grade it and snark at it simply as a piece of writing, when it's basically a sad cry from a sick woman, are pitiful examples of humanity.

Thank you. I was trying to figure out how to express this same thought. I never cease to be amazed by how many people in the world have zero empathy, but I also believe that people like this are not very bright.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So on top of all the time spent here, you all really spend a lot of time reading poorly written half truths about women’s lives. I cannot believe how seriously people take bloggers like this. I can’t believe it is therapeutic or helpful in any way.

What she did wasn’t really writing, it was preening. I’m so sorry she passed. However, and her lunatic fans will freak — none of her shtick would have worked but for her initial happy life, thinness, prettiness. The writing was never there, she is not Mary Carr or Leslie Jamison. It always required pictures and cool-girl blasé bullshit balanced with meltdowns. It was always stupid and squawking and without much to it, all hat and no cattle. But it gave a lot of ugly comfort to some women, as they were less divorced. Less f’ed up. Less drunk. Less scrutinized. And so forth. It was always gross, but it netted Armstrong a lot of money. I wish she’d found some medication and therapeutic plan that actually worked for her. I don’t actually think she’s more gifted than the banal, stupid Jo from Cup of Jo. But Jo was luckier.

You are the judge of what constitutes great literature? This made me laugh.

Before yesterday, I was vaguely aware of this woman’s existence, but had never read anything she had written. Now I have, I can say that the impact of her mental illness is clear is clear, but she is a far more naturally talented writer than you will ever be, and definitely a better human being.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Give me vintage dooce any day over today's carefully curated influencers with staged photos that hide all the imperfections and make normal people feel inferior.

I remember thinking dooce was a little like the Erma Bombeck whose humor columns about homemaking and kids I grew up reading, except more sped up and modern and with a lot more cursing and dogs.

Girls Gone Child was another blog I used to follow. She wrote a Peter Pan movie, and her husband died of cancer, and she's raising her kids alone now. Mighty Girl was another one that's long since disappeared. Momversation. The Bloggie awards. I like the Cory Doctorow quote the PP above wrote. It started off really nice, as a community.

The Sound of Music kids grew up to write about how their nanny exploited them. Child actors get their money taken by their parents all the time. There really should be rules about what you are and aren't allowed to publish online or on social media. That said, at what point is the experience your kids and at what point is it your own, as a parent? There is value to writing about the ins-and-outs of raising children -- I know because I used to get good tips from some of those old blogs. Sure, you keep the most sensitive info to yourself or discuss with friends. But we're not, and shouldn't be, banning books with stories about raising kids in them.

I think now, 20 (?) years after it all started, some of those old time bloggers should get together and write a proposed set of standards for mommy and daddy blogging, based on the fallout from their own experiences. I think people would find it useful!

This is such a rube’s take. It was and is ALL garbage, and the curation by Dooce was as extreme as a Millenial-pink swathed latte-addict travel blogger. ALL of the OG bloggers eventually had their houses of cards fall down. It was all always bullshit to seem so rill like wine mom with mastitis really rill. It’s all so goddamned dumb, and that’s fine, but it’s not exactly writing. And the Cool Girl who was actually a rill mess is fundamentally boring, which is the saddest thing of all.

Heather built an empire. What more did the woman have to do to get credit? She pulled in millions of readers at times. She had 3 book deals. She’s a NYT bestseller.

But sure, because it didn’t resonate with YOU it’s all garbage. When by any opinion she was massively successful. I don’t like some authors, but I don’t go around yelling that they suck. I just don’t read them.

It's clear the pp has a major axe to grind with her. It's easy to see from this smug post (and the many others) that she was totally triggered by her.

Exactly. It would be fascinating to know the story. The most obvious answer is that this person studied literature and dreamed of writing the great American novel, but has never been paid a dime for anything they’ve ever written. They now work a clerical job and live in a third floor walk up with 5 cats.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So on top of all the time spent here, you all really spend a lot of time reading poorly written half truths about women’s lives. I cannot believe how seriously people take bloggers like this. I can’t believe it is therapeutic or helpful in any way.

It was honestly a "you had to be there moment". The internet was SUCH a different place in 2009 than it is today. There wasn't social media! Blogs connected people. You found one you liked, you read their recommended blogs, and their recommended blogs, and it felt like this home grown community.

Some of the women writing then were just journaling their lives. Some were real writers who were empowered by the freedom to self publish their thoughts. Some were a combination of all of it.

It changed the way women talk about motherhood and parenting, that much is for sure. So while you can criticize and dismiss, the work of many of these women was really important in our cultural narrative. And love her or hate her, Dooce played an absolutely huge role in that.

Agreed. The internet and blogs of 2000-2009 felt much cozier and more secret.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Give me vintage dooce any day over today's carefully curated influencers with staged photos that hide all the imperfections and make normal people feel inferior.

I remember thinking dooce was a little like the Erma Bombeck whose humor columns about homemaking and kids I grew up reading, except more sped up and modern and with a lot more cursing and dogs.

Girls Gone Child was another blog I used to follow. She wrote a Peter Pan movie, and her husband died of cancer, and she's raising her kids alone now. Mighty Girl was another one that's long since disappeared. Momversation. The Bloggie awards. I like the Cory Doctorow quote the PP above wrote. It started off really nice, as a community.

The Sound of Music kids grew up to write about how their nanny exploited them. Child actors get their money taken by their parents all the time. There really should be rules about what you are and aren't allowed to publish online or on social media. That said, at what point is the experience your kids and at what point is it your own, as a parent? There is value to writing about the ins-and-outs of raising children -- I know because I used to get good tips from some of those old blogs. Sure, you keep the most sensitive info to yourself or discuss with friends. But we're not, and shouldn't be, banning books with stories about raising kids in them.

I think now, 20 (?) years after it all started, some of those old time bloggers should get together and write a proposed set of standards for mommy and daddy blogging, based on the fallout from their own experiences. I think people would find it useful!

This is such a rube’s take. It was and is ALL garbage, and the curation by Dooce was as extreme as a Millenial-pink swathed latte-addict travel blogger. ALL of the OG bloggers eventually had their houses of cards fall down. It was all always bullshit to seem so rill like wine mom with mastitis really rill. It’s all so goddamned dumb, and that’s fine, but it’s not exactly writing. And the Cool Girl who was actually a rill mess is fundamentally boring, which is the saddest thing of all.

Heather built an empire. What more did the woman have to do to get credit? She pulled in millions of readers at times. She had 3 book deals. She’s a NYT bestseller.

But sure, because it didn’t resonate with YOU it’s all garbage. When by any opinion she was massively successful. I don’t like some authors, but I don’t go around yelling that they suck. I just don’t read them.

It's clear the pp has a major axe to grind with her. It's easy to see from this smug post (and the many others) that she was totally triggered by her.

Exactly. It would be fascinating to know the story. The most obvious answer is that this person studied literature and dreamed of writing the great American novel, but has never been paid a dime for anything they’ve ever written. They now work a clerical job and live in a third floor walk up with 5 cats.

But none of that is true. What is, is that she’s dead by her own hand and that’s her real legacy. There was never anything glorious in her content.