Tell an opinion you have that is in the strong minority

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I will get hated but here goes: black people frighten me, unless they are in some obviously professional role. I know it's racist but I can't help it

So when I take off my Chanel suit and put on jeans and t-shirt to go grocery shopping, you run and hide?

I think the prior PP would. Message to prior PP: This isn't an opinion but a psychosis you need to deal with.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Being a SAHM was a direct contribution to my postpartum depression. I regret it so, so much.

I ended up getting a job at Starbucks (I was a white collar professional) to get out of the house. We didn't need the money and people looked at me sideways for sending the kids to daycare, but it was the smartest decision I ever made. It saved my life.

I don't work at Starbucks anymore (back in my pre-children field), but I always tip extra when I go.

Whenever a mom who can afford daycare complains about staying home, I just shrug. Because if it was as bad as it was for me, you would get a job at pizza hut even if you DH was making 500K a year.

When i hear about a mom who would rather work at Pizza Hut than take care of her own child - with a husband that makes $500K/year or not - i think that this is someone who probably shouldn't be a mom. My unpopular opinion? that is just really sad.

+1

+2
In addition, I had the exact opposite experience as PP. I went back to work when my first was still an infant and was so desperately unhappy. Maybe some women can do it without any separation anxiety, but I was miserable. I stuck it out for two years, until DH and I finally decided I needed to stay home. I have never been happier, though I regret every day that I'll never get those first years back. We've had subsequent children and now I see how much better it is for me to be at home with them than at work. Different strokes.

Your kids must have slept more than 90 minutes at a stretch. I went back to work so I could relax a little.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:I am absolutely shocked by the SAHM hating posts. "Lazy", "living off another person's dime," "insufferable"?
My spouse and I will make decisions based on our families' needs and you will make yours. We will all work hard and do the best we can. Some of us will teach our children to treat others with kindness and respect. The haters will teach hate.
I hope my kids don't cross paths with yours

Do you not see the language directed towards WOHMs, not to mention at childcare providers?

Really??????? No, I don't see it. (Not pp)

Just from this page:
the mom who palms her dc off to virtual strangers for most of their waking hours

Let's include the whole quote you just pulled that from so we aren't taking these words out of context. Don't be lazy, pp.

Sorry, the rest talked about how bad it is to leave your kids with a person who doesn't speak English well. You know, hardworking women providing for their families. Really reflects well on SAHMs, that poster.

Nope, sorry - you're twisting that post to suit your own bias. The post was asking why so many WOH parents seem to speak glowingly of their childcare providers yet dismissively of SAH parents. Even when the childcare provider might not speak English well (or at all), they are still seen as more desirable for their children than simply having a parent take care of them. We're still waiting for an answer, by the way. And that observation has nothing to do with racism, though you can certainly try and spin it that way.

Because earning a professional living is seen by many as a higher and better use of a parent's time than opting out of the workforce for years.

And there it is. So incredibly sad. I wonder what your children would think if they read your statement as adults. How pathetic for them to hear that you find working to be a better use of your time than taking care of them. Oh well - different strokes.

WOHM's conveniently ignore this statement

I think it's pathetic that you think so little of your DC, but at least you're setting yourself up to play the martyr mom role for the rest of your life with those DC when they become adults. You could tell them, I wasn't organized, motivated, intelligent <fill in the blank> to manage both a career and a family so I took a break/stopped working all together....all because of YOU! Dear Susie, I'm going to volunteer in your classroom everyday to ensure you get into AAP and run you to a different after school activity every single day and sit home while you're in school all day trying to figure out how to clean our house and go grocery shopping with the 7 hours a day that I have on my hands.

My mom was a WOHM with me, but a SAHM for my younger siblings. She always thought that was just what you were SUPPOSED to do if you could. It was BETTER for your kids. This is now one of my moms biggest regrets. All of her kids turned out to be successful, happy people with families. I tend to remember more "special" things about my childhood than my siblings. I'm actually closer to my mom than the rest of them. She stalled her career for so long she found it difficult both professionally and personally to get back in the field. She feels like she could have worked and all of her kids would have been just as healthy and happy as they are now. She could have handled being a WOHM easily.

I have absolutely no worries about my kids looking back on their childhood and feeling neglected because I have a career. I know that it helps SAHMs feel better about their choice, but I have absolutely no guilt, but if you acknowledge this it doesn't help your martyr act. Sorry.

Or perhaps SAHMs who are happy with their choice aren't playing the martyr at all. How does choosing to be at home make you a martyr? When I hear that accusation, especially from a WOHM, it becomes crystal clear that there are some major insecurities at play. Why else would you make such judgmental and frankly, false, accusations about another person's life choices? Has it ever occurred to you that SAHMs could easily take on employment if they wished to, but they *choose not to*? I'm extremely organized, motivated, and intelligent - as are my other friends who are SAHMs. Your remarks just make you sound bitter and resentful. If you're so delighted with your life, then you shouldn't feel the need to knock down others who wouldn't be happy working outside the home. Right?

Choosing to be at home would make moms who would rather work martyrs.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Rather telling a single wohm can't say what she would say to her dc when they ask her why she choose to work

Are you kidding me with this?

"Larla, adults have to work. We need money to provide for our families. Sometimes work is fulfilling, and sometimes it's unpleasant. But the bottom line is if we didn't have money we'd end up homeless or something. You'll work when you're an adult someday too."

WOW, SO HARD. MUCH TELLING.

I thought you worked because you Had to use your big graduate degree. Why has the story changed now?

Different poster. SAH has made your analytical skills rusty, perhaps.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Rather telling a single wohm can't say what she would say to her dc when they ask her why she choose to work

Are you kidding me with this?

"Larla, adults have to work. We need money to provide for our families. Sometimes work is fulfilling, and sometimes it's unpleasant. But the bottom line is if we didn't have money we'd end up homeless or something. You'll work when you're an adult someday too."

WOW, SO HARD. MUCH TELLING.

I thought you worked because you Had to use your big graduate degree. Why has the story changed now?

I don't have a big fancy graduate degree. I'm one of those poor folks who needs money to survive and my husband and I are roughly equal income earners. But if I did have one I don't see why that would change my answer? Families need money. Everyone needs money. Most of us get money through work. It really doesn't matter what ones education level is ...

Children need their mothers too, or has everyone forgotten about that in the fabulous shower of money all wohm's earn

Children who have working moms have their mothers. I work 15 minutes from my kids' school. If they are sick or need something, I'm almost as close as I would be if I SAH. You're right, they are with me 75 minutes less than they would be if I SAH. I don't think that tiny amount of time, which disappears when the kids get to middle school and beyond, is worth giving up a whole career for.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Rather telling a single wohm can't say what she would say to her dc when they ask her why she choose to work

Are you kidding me with this?

"Larla, adults have to work. We need money to provide for our families. Sometimes work is fulfilling, and sometimes it's unpleasant. But the bottom line is if we didn't have money we'd end up homeless or something. You'll work when you're an adult someday too."

WOW, SO HARD. MUCH TELLING.

I thought you worked because you Had to use your big graduate degree. Why has the story changed now?

I don't have a big fancy graduate degree. I'm one of those poor folks who needs money to survive and my husband and I are roughly equal income earners. But if I did have one I don't see why that would change my answer? Families need money. Everyone needs money. Most of us get money through work. It really doesn't matter what ones education level is ...

Children need their mothers too, or has everyone forgotten about that in the fabulous shower of money all wohm's earn

You need to stop with this vicious hate of working moms. It's not a good look for SAHMs (even though I know most are not as hateful and spiteful as you) and it makes you seem incredibly uneducated as if you cannot fathom a woman can do anything beyond procreate. Of course children need their moms, but that doesn't mean a woman has to be around 24/7 to "be there" for her kids. Children need stability in their lives. For many, this can involve structured high quality childcare coupled with a mom and dad who spend quality time with their children mornings, evenings, and weekends. Children will not be harmed by having a loving nanny, daycare worker, grandparent helping care for them in addition to their parents. Not to mention, many working parents have flexible hours and ability to work from home nowadays, which allows us to have a career and be with out children for a large part of the day. And once kids are in school, it really shouldn't make a difference whether mom is working during the schools day or at home.

No, children need their mothers. It's a fact that's been commonly known for centuries. Why can't you accept it and move on

Children need their mothers available 24/7? Until what age?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Or perhaps SAHMs who are happy with their choice aren't playing the martyr at all. How does choosing to be at home make you a martyr? When I hear that accusation, especially from a WOHM, it becomes crystal clear that there are some major insecurities at play. Why else would you make such judgmental and frankly, false, accusations about another person's life choices? Has it ever occurred to you that SAHMs could easily take on employment if they wished to, but they *choose not to*? I'm extremely organized, motivated, and intelligent - as are my other friends who are SAHMs. Your remarks just make you sound bitter and resentful. If you're so delighted with your life, then you shouldn't feel the need to knock down others who wouldn't be happy working outside the home. Right?

I WOH b/c I like working - but I also know that I'm 50% of the HH income!

I have three degrees and use the skills from all three in my current role.

I am the mother of a daughter and son who are still young - too young to really understand the dynamics of a two-income HH. Still, I simply can't imagine fooling them into thinking that the odds of one or both staying home with their children are great.

The odds are slim. Chances are both of my kids will have to work - just as my husband and I do.

Are my kids inconvenienced from time to time?
hell yes!
There are days when we rush home only to scoop them up and out to an activity. Down time on those days doesn't exist.

But that's life. Life is about handling obstacles thrown our way.

A parent staying home may create a stable environment, but that's a temporary bubble. Life's not a bubble. It can get ugly,in fact, but developing resilience and embracing flexibility are keys to leading a happy life.

I'm not sure what the point of your post is. You enjoy WOH. That's great. SAHMs also enjoy what they do. Why does it have to be a competition? Resilience and flexibility can be developed in either situation.

When are kids inconvenienced with a SAHP?

never

Kid's sick? There's a parent to either stay home with him/her to to pick him/her up immediately.

snow day? Parent's home.
no shuffling around necessary

playdates when they're younger? during the week b/c a parent is home
no need to schedule them just on weekends

afterschool activities?
sure! b/c the SAHP is home

Kids are not inconvenienced at all. neither is the working parent for that matter

just speaking the truth

It's the SAHP who is inconvenienced all of the time, is what you're saying, right?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The SAH vs WOH debate disappears when your kids get older. Amost all of the mommy wars disappear when moms stop giving a shit what the next mom thinks about her. I highly recommend this kind of apathy. All the arguing is silly.

Yep. And it feels great for me to help my friends who've been SAH for 10 or 15 years get back into the workforce now.

[Anonymous]

"Or perhaps SAHMs who are happy with their choice aren't playing the martyr at all. How does choosing to be at home make you a martyr? When I hear that accusation, especially from a WOHM, it becomes crystal clear that there are some major insecurities at play. Why else would you make such judgmental and frankly, false, accusations about another person's life choices? Has it ever occurred to you that SAHMs could easily take on employment if they wished to, but they *choose not to*? I'm extremely organized, motivated, and intelligent - as are my other friends who are SAHMs. Your remarks just make you sound bitter and resentful. If you're so delighted with your life, then you shouldn't feel the need to knock down others who wouldn't be happy working outside the home. Right?"


"Choosing to be at home would make moms who would rather work martyrs."

Certainly. But moms who choose to be home because *that's what they want to do* aren't in any way martyrs. They'd rather be doing that than WOH. So good for them for following their bliss.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:"Or perhaps SAHMs who are happy with their choice aren't playing the martyr at all. How does choosing to be at home make you a martyr? When I hear that accusation, especially from a WOHM, it becomes crystal clear that there are some major insecurities at play. Why else would you make such judgmental and frankly, false, accusations about another person's life choices? Has it ever occurred to you that SAHMs could easily take on employment if they wished to, but they *choose not to*? I'm extremely organized, motivated, and intelligent - as are my other friends who are SAHMs. Your remarks just make you sound bitter and resentful. If you're so delighted with your life, then you shouldn't feel the need to knock down others who wouldn't be happy working outside the home. Right?"


"Choosing to be at home would make moms who would rather work martyrs."

Certainly. But moms who choose to be home because *that's what they want to do* aren't in any way martyrs. They'd rather be doing that than WOH. So good for them for following their bliss.

As long as they admit it, that's fine. MANY SAHMs do it mostly for themselves. And again, that's fine. But don't pretend it's to make a husband's life easier or enrich a child's.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:"Or perhaps SAHMs who are happy with their choice aren't playing the martyr at all. How does choosing to be at home make you a martyr? When I hear that accusation, especially from a WOHM, it becomes crystal clear that there are some major insecurities at play. Why else would you make such judgmental and frankly, false, accusations about another person's life choices? Has it ever occurred to you that SAHMs could easily take on employment if they wished to, but they *choose not to*? I'm extremely organized, motivated, and intelligent - as are my other friends who are SAHMs. Your remarks just make you sound bitter and resentful. If you're so delighted with your life, then you shouldn't feel the need to knock down others who wouldn't be happy working outside the home. Right?"


"Choosing to be at home would make moms who would rather work martyrs."

Certainly. But moms who choose to be home because *that's what they want to do* aren't in any way martyrs. They'd rather be doing that than WOH. So good for them for following their bliss.

As long as they admit it, that's fine. MANY SAHMs do it mostly for themselves. And again, that's fine. But don't pretend it's to make a husband's life easier or enrich a child's.

You know, those things aren't mutually exclusive. I SAH because I want to and I enjoy it. But it is also true that my husband's life is easier and my child's life is enriched. And I'm happy about that. It's all good.

[Anonymous]

I know I'm in the MINORITY but I wish facilities would provide neutral bathrooms for transgender women who still have penises. It's just a matter of comfort for EVERYONE. Nothing to do with sexual or gender preference. Everyone should be able to feel comfortable in their own skin AND in their surroundings. And that's EVERYONE.

[Anonymous]

I love television and my kids watched over two hours of TV a day. And they graduated from Cal and MIT

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I know I'm in the MINORITY but I wish facilities would provide neutral bathrooms for transgender women who still have penises. It's just a matter of comfort for EVERYONE. Nothing to do with sexual or gender preference. Everyone should be able to feel comfortable in their own skin AND in their surroundings. And that's EVERYONE.

There are already facilities for transgender "women" They're called men's rooms. Use the correct room for your anatomy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Rather telling a single wohm can't say what she would say to her dc when they ask her why she choose to work

Are you kidding me with this?

"Larla, adults have to work. We need money to provide for our families. Sometimes work is fulfilling, and sometimes it's unpleasant. But the bottom line is if we didn't have money we'd end up homeless or something. You'll work when you're an adult someday too."

WOW, SO HARD. MUCH TELLING.

I thought you worked because you Had to use your big graduate degree. Why has the story changed now?

I don't have a big fancy graduate degree. I'm one of those poor folks who needs money to survive and my husband and I are roughly equal income earners. But if I did have one I don't see why that would change my answer? Families need money. Everyone needs money. Most of us get money through work. It really doesn't matter what ones education level is ...

Children need their mothers too, or has everyone forgotten about that in the fabulous shower of money all wohm's earn

You need to stop with this vicious hate of working moms. It's not a good look for SAHMs (even though I know most are not as hateful and spiteful as you) and it makes you seem incredibly uneducated as if you cannot fathom a woman can do anything beyond procreate. Of course children need their moms, but that doesn't mean a woman has to be around 24/7 to "be there" for her kids. Children need stability in their lives. For many, this can involve structured high quality childcare coupled with a mom and dad who spend quality time with their children mornings, evenings, and weekends. Children will not be harmed by having a loving nanny, daycare worker, grandparent helping care for them in addition to their parents. Not to mention, many working parents have flexible hours and ability to work from home nowadays, which allows us to have a career and be with out children for a large part of the day. And once kids are in school, it really shouldn't make a difference whether mom is working during the schools day or at home.

No, children need their mothers. It's a fact that's been commonly known for centuries. Why can't you accept it and move on

Children need their mothers available 24/7? Until what age?

You knew exactly what PP ment