If you have siblings but never had the "sibling bond"

[Anonymous]

Why do you think it was never there?

[Anonymous]

I think someone is obsessed with this sibling topic.

[Anonymous]

I'm an only, but DH has never been that close to his brother. He blames it on a big age gap (5 years) and that his younger brother has always been aloof and to himself.

I can confirm this from looking in photo albums. Even as a young toddler, there's not 1 picture of him smiling and he seems uncomfortable being around others.

[Anonymous]

I come from a large family and no one has a relationship with anyone else in the family. It is a topic that we could talk about forever. But I feel like, in our case, it is our mother that designed things the way they are. Mix in a large dose of mental illness and you get severe dysfunction. I have hope that when Mom dies things will get better. Nice, huh!

[Anonymous]

We fought a lot as kids and as adults just went our separate ways. When I have seen him it has occasionally been fun, but more often than not, not particularly pleasant.

[Anonymous]

My older sister didn't want a sibling. She went through the normal adjustment stuff, but never adjusted. She was constantly doing nasty under the radar stuff. A friend of hers in highschool was horrified to see how she treated me. The friend didn't even witness a particularly bad day. She yelled at my sister and read her the riot act. I was touched. It helped for a little while and I think it helped in the long run too in that she learned her behavior was not normal or appropriate.

Still continued the negative stuff, but she would feel remourse which was new. We have a relationship today-somewhat of one, but it's hard for me because Ihave to be the "bigger" person and treat her nicely even when she doesn't do the same. Often she is just passive aggressive. The thing is I know she isn't that happy right now and when she is happy she is nicer-much nicer. I think if she ever went on an antidepressant it would work wonders, but that's her choice to make.

[Anonymous]

I'm not that bonded to my two younger siblings. I think there are two reasons -- some family dysfunction and my mother's death when we were kids. That event really shattered our family. My father wasn't equipped to provide the "glue" needed to keep us together, although he tried his best.

[Anonymous]

I have an older brother that I would fight with all the time.
Now we live in different countries and do not see each other much

[Anonymous]

I have two siblings who don't get along with most people, period. Including other family members. They just aren't capable or interested in bonding with other people. My sister and I are a bit more sisterly now that we are both older, but we definitely don't have a sibling 'bond'. Makes me sad, but it is what it is.

[Anonymous]

In both my and DH's family, it is because the least productive child has always been favored. Who can tolerate that BS all their lives? It would not be so bad if the favored ones were just a little bit grateful, but we won't wait for that day to happen, it won't. They feel so entitled, it puts up a wall. Unfortunately, it's always been that way.

[Anonymous]

My sister is 7 years younger. We really have nothing in common. Add in her inability to read social cues and love of drama and you have someone I try to stay far away from. Plus her head is so far up her own ass (about herself) I doubt she's noticed we aren't friends.

[Anonymous]

Because my brother is a dick. He verbally and physically abused me constantly. It could be because he was jealous that my dad liked me so much better but dad did have good reasons for that.

[Anonymous]

I was the oldest, my younger brother was 2.5 years younger. Ever since I could remember, I would just torture the poor guy - beating up on him, trying to make him eat dog-poo sandwiches, pushing him down stairs from the top level, etc. mind you, if someone else was picking on him, I'd be first in line to beat their ass up, I was very loyal. But my years of tormenting him were not good, and I think it was probably exacerbated by my mom trying to always control me and the situation - I got angry at her for meddling and then took it out on him when her back was turned. DB and I are now decently-close, now that mom's moved down to FL and we're here together (he lived in their basement until they moved...he was 35).

I've got 3 kiddos of my own and PRAY that they don't emulate how I was as a sibling. Oldest child is very loving towards his sister. Sister is somewhat loving towards her little brother, though I have to keep a close eye on her. Part of me is biased because of my guilt, I'm extra cautious in watching how she interfaces with her young brother, but I don't want to reinvent what my mother did in fueling the fire between me and my brother. I felt as though my mother (who was an only child) tried to control every. single. moment between my brother and I, whereas I'm trying to just let siblings be siblings, albeit with a watchful eye.

[Anonymous]

For any of you that posted were you ever close to your siblings? Not op but def curious

[Anonymous]

I come from a large family and no one has a relationship with anyone else in the family. It is a topic that we could talk about forever. But I feel like, in our case, it is our mother that designed things the way they are. Mix in a large dose of mental illness and you get severe dysfunction. I have hope that when Mom dies things will get better. Nice, huh!

You could be describing my family--except all hell broke loose when mom died. All of the unresolved issues and resentments came to a head and she fed them with her dying breath. No one speaks to each other anymore. Actually, it is one of the great disappointments of my life. I hoe your family does better than mine.