Tell an opinion you have that is in the strong minority

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Or perhaps SAHMs who are happy with their choice aren't playing the martyr at all. How does choosing to be at home make you a martyr? When I hear that accusation, especially from a WOHM, it becomes crystal clear that there are some major insecurities at play. Why else would you make such judgmental and frankly, false, accusations about another person's life choices? Has it ever occurred to you that SAHMs could easily take on employment if they wished to, but they *choose not to*? I'm extremely organized, motivated, and intelligent - as are my other friends who are SAHMs. Your remarks just make you sound bitter and resentful. If you're so delighted with your life, then you shouldn't feel the need to knock down others who wouldn't be happy working outside the home. Right?

I WOH b/c I like working - but I also know that I'm 50% of the HH income!

I have three degrees and use the skills from all three in my current role.

I am the mother of a daughter and son who are still young - too young to really understand the dynamics of a two-income HH. Still, I simply can't imagine fooling them into thinking that the odds of one or both staying home with their children are great.

The odds are slim. Chances are both of my kids will have to work - just as my husband and I do.

Are my kids inconvenienced from time to time?
hell yes!
There are days when we rush home only to scoop them up and out to an activity. Down time on those days doesn't exist.

But that's life. Life is about handling obstacles thrown our way.

A parent staying home may create a stable environment, but that's a temporary bubble. Life's not a bubble. It can get ugly,in fact, but developing resilience and embracing flexibility are keys to leading a happy life.

I'm not sure what the point of your post is. You enjoy WOH. That's great. SAHMs also enjoy what they do. Why does it have to be a competition? Resilience and flexibility can be developed in either situation.

When are kids inconvenienced with a SAHP?

never

Kid's sick? There's a parent to either stay home with him/her to to pick him/her up immediately.

snow day? Parent's home.
no shuffling around necessary

playdates when they're younger? during the week b/c a parent is home
no need to schedule them just on weekends

afterschool activities?
sure! b/c the SAHP is home

Kids are not inconvenienced at all. neither is the working parent for that matter

just speaking the truth

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Or perhaps SAHMs who are happy with their choice aren't playing the martyr at all. How does choosing to be at home make you a martyr? When I hear that accusation, especially from a WOHM, it becomes crystal clear that there are some major insecurities at play. Why else would you make such judgmental and frankly, false, accusations about another person's life choices? Has it ever occurred to you that SAHMs could easily take on employment if they wished to, but they *choose not to*? I'm extremely organized, motivated, and intelligent - as are my other friends who are SAHMs. Your remarks just make you sound bitter and resentful. If you're so delighted with your life, then you shouldn't feel the need to knock down others who wouldn't be happy working outside the home. Right?

I WOH b/c I like working - but I also know that I'm 50% of the HH income!

I have three degrees and use the skills from all three in my current role.

I am the mother of a daughter and son who are still young - too young to really understand the dynamics of a two-income HH. Still, I simply can't imagine fooling them into thinking that the odds of one or both staying home with their children are great.

The odds are slim. Chances are both of my kids will have to work - just as my husband and I do.

Are my kids inconvenienced from time to time?
hell yes!
There are days when we rush home only to scoop them up and out to an activity. Down time on those days doesn't exist.

But that's life. Life is about handling obstacles thrown our way.

A parent staying home may create a stable environment, but that's a temporary bubble. Life's not a bubble. It can get ugly,in fact, but developing resilience and embracing flexibility are keys to leading a happy life.

I'm not sure what the point of your post is. You enjoy WOH. That's great. SAHMs also enjoy what they do. Why does it have to be a competition? Resilience and flexibility can be developed in either situation.

When are kids inconvenienced with a SAHP?

never

Kid's sick? There's a parent to either stay home with him/her to to pick him/her up immediately.

snow day? Parent's home.
no shuffling around necessary

playdates when they're younger? during the week b/c a parent is home
no need to schedule them just on weekends

afterschool activities?
sure! b/c the SAHP is home

Kids are not inconvenienced at all. neither is the working parent for that matter

just speaking the truth

So are you saying it's better for kids to be inconvenienced, because somehow that's the only path for them to learn resilience? Life is long... plenty of time for that. Again: this is not a competition.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Rather telling a single wohm can't say what she would say to her dc when they ask her why she choose to work

Are you kidding me with this?

"Larla, adults have to work. We need money to provide for our families. Sometimes work is fulfilling, and sometimes it's unpleasant. But the bottom line is if we didn't have money we'd end up homeless or something. You'll work when you're an adult someday too."

WOW, SO HARD. MUCH TELLING.

I thought you worked because you Had to use your big graduate degree. Why has the story changed now?

I don't have a big fancy graduate degree. I'm one of those poor folks who needs money to survive and my husband and I are roughly equal income earners. But if I did have one I don't see why that would change my answer? Families need money. Everyone needs money. Most of us get money through work. It really doesn't matter what ones education level is ...

Children need their mothers too, or has everyone forgotten about that in the fabulous shower of money all wohm's earn

You need to stop with this vicious hate of working moms. It's not a good look for SAHMs (even though I know most are not as hateful and spiteful as you) and it makes you seem incredibly uneducated as if you cannot fathom a woman can do anything beyond procreate. Of course children need their moms, but that doesn't mean a woman has to be around 24/7 to "be there" for her kids. Children need stability in their lives. For many, this can involve structured high quality childcare coupled with a mom and dad who spend quality time with their children mornings, evenings, and weekends. Children will not be harmed by having a loving nanny, daycare worker, grandparent helping care for them in addition to their parents. Not to mention, many working parents have flexible hours and ability to work from home nowadays, which allows us to have a career and be with out children for a large part of the day. And once kids are in school, it really shouldn't make a difference whether mom is working during the schools day or at home.

No, children need their mothers. It's a fact that's been commonly known for centuries. Why can't you accept it and move on

I can accept the fact that you sound pathetic because you clearly believe a woman should stop contributing to the workforce the second she has a child. Again, I'm not the one attacking SAHMs. I really don't have any problem if that is what a woman chooses and her spouse supports it. But you seem very uneducated to think all children need their mothers to the point that a woman should never work outside the home. With your spiteful attitude toward other women, I can't even imagine the backwards values you are installing in your children. Hopefully some day they will be exposed to more accomplished and stronger women than you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Rather telling a single wohm can't say what she would say to her dc when they ask her why she choose to work

Are you kidding me with this?

"Larla, adults have to work. We need money to provide for our families. Sometimes work is fulfilling, and sometimes it's unpleasant. But the bottom line is if we didn't have money we'd end up homeless or something. You'll work when you're an adult someday too."

WOW, SO HARD. MUCH TELLING.

I thought you worked because you Had to use your big graduate degree. Why has the story changed now?

I don't have a big fancy graduate degree. I'm one of those poor folks who needs money to survive and my husband and I are roughly equal income earners. But if I did have one I don't see why that would change my answer? Families need money. Everyone needs money. Most of us get money through work. It really doesn't matter what ones education level is ...

Children need their mothers too, or has everyone forgotten about that in the fabulous shower of money all wohm's earn

You need to stop with this vicious hate of working moms. It's not a good look for SAHMs (even though I know most are not as hateful and spiteful as you) and it makes you seem incredibly uneducated as if you cannot fathom a woman can do anything beyond procreate. Of course children need their moms, but that doesn't mean a woman has to be around 24/7 to "be there" for her kids. Children need stability in their lives. For many, this can involve structured high quality childcare coupled with a mom and dad who spend quality time with their children mornings, evenings, and weekends. Children will not be harmed by having a loving nanny, daycare worker, grandparent helping care for them in addition to their parents. Not to mention, many working parents have flexible hours and ability to work from home nowadays, which allows us to have a career and be with out children for a large part of the day. And once kids are in school, it really shouldn't make a difference whether mom is working during the schools day or at home.

No, children need their mothers. It's a fact that's been commonly known for centuries. Why can't you accept it and move on

For many centuries it was common for women to be considered property of their husbands. Historically, women have been unable to vote and it was believed that a woman could not be raped by her husband because he could force her to have sex at any time. Not sure I'd be using "centuries old" wisdom as a basis for how to raise my children. Thank goodness women have so many more options now whether it's SAH, work PT, work FT, work from home, etc.

And I wonder what you think about homes with two moms. Should neither woman work? Or what about two dads? I bet you think that's "wrong" because kids need moms. Go spew your outdated nonsense elsewhere, PP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think Humans of New York on Facebook is stupid, and the cult like following of that site by my friends is ridiculous. They feel so good and uplifted by commenting on other peoples' tough lives -- as if they even understand -- and truly think their words of encouragement are SO important.

+1

[Anonymous]

The SAH vs WOH debate disappears when your kids get older. Amost all of the mommy wars disappear when moms stop giving a shit what the next mom thinks about her. I highly recommend this kind of apathy. All the arguing is silly.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think Humans of New York on Facebook is stupid, and the cult like following of that site by my friends is ridiculous. They feel so good and uplifted by commenting on other peoples' tough lives -- as if they even understand -- and truly think their words of encouragement are SO important.

+1

+2

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Or perhaps SAHMs who are happy with their choice aren't playing the martyr at all. How does choosing to be at home make you a martyr? When I hear that accusation, especially from a WOHM, it becomes crystal clear that there are some major insecurities at play. Why else would you make such judgmental and frankly, false, accusations about another person's life choices? Has it ever occurred to you that SAHMs could easily take on employment if they wished to, but they *choose not to*? I'm extremely organized, motivated, and intelligent - as are my other friends who are SAHMs. Your remarks just make you sound bitter and resentful. If you're so delighted with your life, then you shouldn't feel the need to knock down others who wouldn't be happy working outside the home. Right?

I WOH b/c I like working - but I also know that I'm 50% of the HH income!

I have three degrees and use the skills from all three in my current role.

I am the mother of a daughter and son who are still young - too young to really understand the dynamics of a two-income HH. Still, I simply can't imagine fooling them into thinking that the odds of one or both staying home with their children are great.

The odds are slim. Chances are both of my kids will have to work - just as my husband and I do.

Are my kids inconvenienced from time to time?
hell yes!
There are days when we rush home only to scoop them up and out to an activity. Down time on those days doesn't exist.

But that's life. Life is about handling obstacles thrown our way.

A parent staying home may create a stable environment, but that's a temporary bubble. Life's not a bubble. It can get ugly,in fact, but developing resilience and embracing flexibility are keys to leading a happy life.

I'm not sure what the point of your post is. You enjoy WOH. That's great. SAHMs also enjoy what they do. Why does it have to be a competition? Resilience and flexibility can be developed in either situation.

When are kids inconvenienced with a SAHP?

never

Kid's sick? There's a parent to either stay home with him/her to to pick him/her up immediately.

snow day? Parent's home.
no shuffling around necessary

playdates when they're younger? during the week b/c a parent is home
no need to schedule them just on weekends

afterschool activities?
sure! b/c the SAHP is home

Kids are not inconvenienced at all. neither is the working parent for that matter

just speaking the truth

So are you saying it's better for kids to be inconvenienced, because somehow that's the only path for them to learn resilience? Life is long... plenty of time for that. Again: this is not a competition.

The ones who aren't the least bit inconvenienced are the ones who can't handle future obstacles.

FWIW, life in the US IS about competition. We expect little Jo Jo to do a bang up job on the soccer field, right? Yet heaven forbid little Jo Jo should have to wait 30 minutes for his working parent to pick him up from school bc he's sick.

How many SAH parents (mothers in particular) live their lives through their kids? only to discover one day they're really alone once the kids leave?

It's not just about preparing your kids for a difficult life; it's also about thinking of your own future.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Or perhaps SAHMs who are happy with their choice aren't playing the martyr at all. How does choosing to be at home make you a martyr? When I hear that accusation, especially from a WOHM, it becomes crystal clear that there are some major insecurities at play. Why else would you make such judgmental and frankly, false, accusations about another person's life choices? Has it ever occurred to you that SAHMs could easily take on employment if they wished to, but they *choose not to*? I'm extremely organized, motivated, and intelligent - as are my other friends who are SAHMs. Your remarks just make you sound bitter and resentful. If you're so delighted with your life, then you shouldn't feel the need to knock down others who wouldn't be happy working outside the home. Right?

I WOH b/c I like working - but I also know that I'm 50% of the HH income!

I have three degrees and use the skills from all three in my current role.

I am the mother of a daughter and son who are still young - too young to really understand the dynamics of a two-income HH. Still, I simply can't imagine fooling them into thinking that the odds of one or both staying home with their children are great.

The odds are slim. Chances are both of my kids will have to work - just as my husband and I do.

Are my kids inconvenienced from time to time?
hell yes!
There are days when we rush home only to scoop them up and out to an activity. Down time on those days doesn't exist.

But that's life. Life is about handling obstacles thrown our way.

A parent staying home may create a stable environment, but that's a temporary bubble. Life's not a bubble. It can get ugly,in fact, but developing resilience and embracing flexibility are keys to leading a happy life.

I'm not sure what the point of your post is. You enjoy WOH. That's great. SAHMs also enjoy what they do. Why does it have to be a competition? Resilience and flexibility can be developed in either situation.

When are kids inconvenienced with a SAHP?

never

Kid's sick? There's a parent to either stay home with him/her to to pick him/her up immediately.

snow day? Parent's home.
no shuffling around necessary

playdates when they're younger? during the week b/c a parent is home
no need to schedule them just on weekends

afterschool activities?
sure! b/c the SAHP is home

Kids are not inconvenienced at all. neither is the working parent for that matter

just speaking the truth

The working parent isn't inconvenienced by the incredible stress of being the only earner? Ok.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The SAH vs WOH debate disappears when your kids get older. Amost all of the mommy wars disappear when moms stop giving a shit what the next mom thinks about her. I highly recommend this kind of apathy. All the arguing is silly.

Agree. I'm a SAHM of older kids and know of no one who cares - either way - whether moms WOH or SAH. Live your own lives.

[Anonymous]

OK, this is a thread for minority opinion. WOHM and SAHM , your are not a minority, get out of this thread.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Or perhaps SAHMs who are happy with their choice aren't playing the martyr at all. How does choosing to be at home make you a martyr? When I hear that accusation, especially from a WOHM, it becomes crystal clear that there are some major insecurities at play. Why else would you make such judgmental and frankly, false, accusations about another person's life choices? Has it ever occurred to you that SAHMs could easily take on employment if they wished to, but they *choose not to*? I'm extremely organized, motivated, and intelligent - as are my other friends who are SAHMs. Your remarks just make you sound bitter and resentful. If you're so delighted with your life, then you shouldn't feel the need to knock down others who wouldn't be happy working outside the home. Right?

I WOH b/c I like working - but I also know that I'm 50% of the HH income!

I have three degrees and use the skills from all three in my current role.

I am the mother of a daughter and son who are still young - too young to really understand the dynamics of a two-income HH. Still, I simply can't imagine fooling them into thinking that the odds of one or both staying home with their children are great.

The odds are slim. Chances are both of my kids will have to work - just as my husband and I do.

Are my kids inconvenienced from time to time?
hell yes!
There are days when we rush home only to scoop them up and out to an activity. Down time on those days doesn't exist.

But that's life. Life is about handling obstacles thrown our way.

A parent staying home may create a stable environment, but that's a temporary bubble. Life's not a bubble. It can get ugly,in fact, but developing resilience and embracing flexibility are keys to leading a happy life.

I'm not sure what the point of your post is. You enjoy WOH. That's great. SAHMs also enjoy what they do. Why does it have to be a competition? Resilience and flexibility can be developed in either situation.

When are kids inconvenienced with a SAHP?

never

Kid's sick? There's a parent to either stay home with him/her to to pick him/her up immediately.

snow day? Parent's home.
no shuffling around necessary

playdates when they're younger? during the week b/c a parent is home
no need to schedule them just on weekends

afterschool activities?
sure! b/c the SAHP is home

Kids are not inconvenienced at all. neither is the working parent for that matter

just speaking the truth

So are you saying it's better for kids to be inconvenienced, because somehow that's the only path for them to learn resilience? Life is long... plenty of time for that. Again: this is not a competition.

The ones who aren't the least bit inconvenienced are the ones who can't handle future obstacles.

FWIW, life in the US IS about competition. We expect little Jo Jo to do a bang up job on the soccer field, right? Yet heaven forbid little Jo Jo should have to wait 30 minutes for his working parent to pick him up from school bc he's sick.

How many SAH parents (mothers in particular) live their lives through their kids? only to discover one day they're really alone once the kids leave?

It's not just about preparing your kids for a difficult life; it's also about thinking of your own future.

Oh, ok. And you know this based on your vast knowledge of everyone else's families and how they work? I'm a SAHM and have kids who have done beautifully with assorted challenges life has thrown their way. And by the way - I don't live through my kids in the least and I'm happy and optimistic for whatever the future holds for me. Do what you think is best for your kids and stop worrying/criticizing how others choose to live their lives and raise their kids. Perhaps it's you who needs to think about your own future. That might give you something worthwhile to worry about.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The SAH vs WOH debate disappears when your kids get older. Amost all of the mommy wars disappear when moms stop giving a shit what the next mom thinks about her. I highly recommend this kind of apathy. All the arguing is silly.

Agree. I'm a SAHM of older kids and know of no one who cares - either way - whether moms WOH or SAH. Live your own lives.

You are wrong about this. If you stay home and your kids are in school all day, you are very much judged and people talk about you behind your back, I assure you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OK, this is a thread for minority opinion. WOHM and SAHM , your are not a minority, get out of this thread.

Agreed. It's getting so ridiculous already.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think Humans of New York on Facebook is stupid, and the cult like following of that site by my friends is ridiculous. They feel so good and uplifted by commenting on other peoples' tough lives -- as if they even understand -- and truly think their words of encouragement are SO important.

+1

+2

LOL, it's the resilience of the human race !