Taking vacations just as a couple versus traveling to visit friends

[Anonymous]

I have noticed an interesting phenomenon among my married couple friends: when they take vacations, it's never just the two of them going on a getaway somewhere (even a short weekend getaway). It's always to visit friends or family. I can't think of a single couple friend among all my married friends who takes vacations or weekend getaways just the two of them just to get away. In fact, two of my best friends have never traveled with their husbands anywhere besides their honeymoons that is not to visit friends, or visit family, or to go to a wedding. I am interested in why pretty much everyone I know who is married does not take trips with just their spouse for the purpose of having fun and getting away, just the two of them. Is it that the idea of taking a vacation with their spouse is not appealing because they're with them 24/7? And our friends always seem surprised when we plan a weekend getaway just the two of us or take a vacation that has nothing to do with seeing anyone else.

[Anonymous]

I think sometimes it's the expense. By the time you pay for travel to weddings, to visit family and to visit friends not much is left. We made it a priority and we pissed off some people by doing things like not traveling to a wedding of someone we haven't seen or talked to in years, etc. You've got to preserve your relationship and for us it meant some fun trips-just us.

[Anonymous]

You need new friends. My husband and I see the United Sales and we're off.

[Anonymous]

It's expensive.

[Anonymous]

Might be an age thing. When we were young we went to visit friends, or vacationed with friends most of the time. Often it was the lure of free or shared/cheaper lodging (like shared houses). Now we do a lot less of that, but still do travel with some of our friends. We are extroverts and like traveling and some of our friends are similarly adventurous.

[Anonymous]

Id love to do more travel as a couple. Now that we have young kids, we travel as a family. But our travel time is limited and by the time we take care of the obligations to viit family, friends and attend weddings, that leaves very little time for just our own trips. We average only one a year that involves no friends or family. Expense is not the problem, time is. If your family is all in this area, you wont have this problem. But all our family is a trip away.

[Anonymous]

Another vote for money. A lot of people have to make compromises in life, and I can see vacations being one of the biggest areas for that.

[Anonymous]

I'll add to the financial constraints chorus. Also, I know several people who just don't like to travel-so they only do it for the purpose of seeing people they love.

I love traveling, so we do a mix. We also have very far flung friends and family, so a lot of our trips end up with a visit to someone we know at some point, even though it's not the driving impetus of the trip. But if I'm in England anyway, I'll squeeze in a day with my friend in Cambridge. Not sure how that counts in the OP's book.

Right now DD is too young for us to leave her with someone while we take a trip, but we have every intention of taking advantage of grandparents offers to watch her while we take a trip. We also plan tO take her with us on trips beyond just visiting family.

[Anonymous]

We travel as a family. We do visit relatives and family (some of whom I actually like), but I don't consider that vacation time. My son is 14 now and we are more settled in our jobs and life and I think we may be in a different place financially than some of the younger posters. DH's schedule is a pain and so my son and I take trips on our own too. I'd love to spend more time with my husband alone (just the two of us), but life is full of compromises b

[Anonymous]

I agree with the PP about time/money being an issue. We love going places just the two of us but we don't get to do it very often. We will often try to combine trips- ie if we take a week off for a family event that we fly to we will spend 2-3 days of that week going somewhere with just our immediate family.

[Anonymous]

We take 1-2 big trips a year as a couple and one weekend every other month. Another weekend or long weekend a month is spent traveling to see friends or traveling with friends. Family is all withing 45 minutes of us, and obviously we dont have kids yet.

[Anonymous]

This is interesting. DH I don't have kids yet, and often take weekend or week long trips just the 2 of us. We love it and feel travel is very important - both of us grew up in middle/lower middle class families and never were able to travel. I often consider not buying a home, or just buying a small condo so that we can still have some money left over for travel. Many of my co workers have huge homes in Great Falls/McLean and drive BMWs but never travel at all, except to maybe Busch Gardens or to visit family in NC. Just don't want to sink all our extra cash into a house and never be able to go anywhere...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is interesting. DH I don't have kids yet, and often take weekend or week long trips just the 2 of us. We love it and feel travel is very important - both of us grew up in middle/lower middle class families and never were able to travel. I often consider not buying a home, or just buying a small condo so that we can still have some money left over for travel. Many of my co workers have huge homes in Great Falls/McLean and drive BMWs but never travel at all, except to maybe Busch Gardens or to visit family in NC. Just don't want to sink all our extra cash into a house and never be able to go anywhere...

We had the house when we were younger but opted to travel rather than buy nice furniture. We used to joke about it - do we want to go skiing or buy a couch. Skiing always won. Now we have plenty of money for both but I am really glad we opted for experiences over stuff. The stuff came over time and we didn't really miss it when we were younger.

[Anonymous]

I travel with girlfriends and occasionally with my husband. We polar opposites with regard to where we want to go and what we want to do when we get there. My husband also is cheap and never wants to spend the money. He likes to sleep half the day then go eat for another couple hours and then the day is mostly over each day. I like to get up in the morning and go siteseeing and do excursions and truly experience the location we have gone to. He prefers to relax all day. He always says he needs a vacation to relax after the vacation lol. I feel it is a waste to spend all that money to go someplace and spend 70% of your time in the hotel room and eating. He also does not swim and never wants to go to the pool or ocean with me. He complains half the time when he does tag along on an excursion or something I want to do. I truly have more fun vacationing with friends. I just went to South Africa with a girlfriend and both our husbands refused to go and we had a ball together. Now that our toddler is getting older and we have more on the way, I would like to start having an annual family vacation...it will likely be within the US at least until they get older to really experience another country. I have a sibling in another state and a nephew and would like us to all get together at least once a year so I hope to start that tradition.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I travel with girlfriends and occasionally with my husband. We polar opposites with regard to where we want to go and what we want to do when we get there. My husband also is cheap and never wants to spend the money. He likes to sleep half the day then go eat for another couple hours and then the day is mostly over each day. I like to get up in the morning and go siteseeing and do excursions and truly experience the location we have gone to. He prefers to relax all day. He always says he needs a vacation to relax after the vacation lol. I feel it is a waste to spend all that money to go someplace and spend 70% of your time in the hotel room and eating. He also does not swim and never wants to go to the pool or ocean with me. He complains half the time when he does tag along on an excursion or something I want to do. I truly have more fun vacationing with friends. I just went to South Africa with a girlfriend and both our husbands refused to go and we had a ball together. Now that our toddler is getting older and we have more on the way, I would like to start having an annual family vacation...it will likely be within the US at least until they get older to really experience another country. I have a sibling in another state and a nephew and would like us to all get together at least once a year so I hope to start that tradition.

oh and I do enjoy travelling with a couple we are friends with that has a son near our son's age; we have done that a couple of times and that works out great; the women can go shop and do activities and the guys can do their relaxing thing and watch the kids