Tell an opinion you have that is in the strong minority

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:I am absolutely shocked by the SAHM hating posts. "Lazy", "living off another person's dime," "insufferable"?
My spouse and I will make decisions based on our families' needs and you will make yours. We will all work hard and do the best we can. Some of us will teach our children to treat others with kindness and respect. The haters will teach hate.
I hope my kids don't cross paths with yours

Do you not see the language directed towards WOHMs, not to mention at childcare providers?

Really??????? No, I don't see it. (Not pp)

Just from this page:
the mom who palms her dc off to virtual strangers for most of their waking hours

Let's include the whole quote you just pulled that from so we aren't taking these words out of context. Don't be lazy, pp.

Sorry, the rest talked about how bad it is to leave your kids with a person who doesn't speak English well. You know, hardworking women providing for their families. Really reflects well on SAHMs, that poster.

Nope, sorry - you're twisting that post to suit your own bias. The post was asking why so many WOH parents seem to speak glowingly of their childcare providers yet dismissively of SAH parents. Even when the childcare provider might not speak English well (or at all), they are still seen as more desirable for their children than simply having a parent take care of them. We're still waiting for an answer, by the way. And that observation has nothing to do with racism, though you can certainly try and spin it that way.

Because earning a professional living is seen by many as a higher and better use of a parent's time than opting out of the workforce for years.

And there it is. So incredibly sad. I wonder what your children would think if they read your statement as adults. How pathetic for them to hear that you find working to be a better use of your time than taking care of them. Oh well - different strokes.

WOHM's conveniently ignore this statement

I think it's pathetic that you think so little of your DC, but at least you're setting yourself up to play the martyr mom role for the rest of your life with those DC when they become adults. You could tell them, I wasn't organized, motivated, intelligent <fill in the blank> to manage both a career and a family so I took a break/stopped working all together....all because of YOU! Dear Susie, I'm going to volunteer in your classroom everyday to ensure you get into AAP and run you to a different after school activity every single day and sit home while you're in school all day trying to figure out how to clean our house and go grocery shopping with the 7 hours a day that I have on my hands.

My mom was a WOHM with me, but a SAHM for my younger siblings. She always thought that was just what you were SUPPOSED to do if you could. It was BETTER for your kids. This is now one of my moms biggest regrets. All of her kids turned out to be successful, happy people with families. I tend to remember more "special" things about my childhood than my siblings. I'm actually closer to my mom than the rest of them. She stalled her career for so long she found it difficult both professionally and personally to get back in the field. She feels like she could have worked and all of her kids would have been just as healthy and happy as they are now. She could have handled being a WOHM easily.

I have absolutely no worries about my kids looking back on their childhood and feeling neglected because I have a career. I know that it helps SAHMs feel better about their choice, but I have absolutely no guilt, but if you acknowledge this it doesn't help your martyr act. Sorry.

I think it's pathetic that you consider yourself too "intelligent and motivated" to raise your own DC

I'm clearly doing both - raising my kids and succeeding professionally. The question is, why can't you do both? What's your answer going to be to your DC then?

[Anonymous]

And there it is. So incredibly sad. I wonder what your children would think if they read your statement as adults. How pathetic for them to hear that you find working to be a better use of your time than taking care of them. Oh well - different strokes.

WOHM's conveniently ignore this statement

I think it's pathetic that you think so little of your DC, but at least you're setting yourself up to play the martyr mom role for the rest of your life with those DC when they become adults. You could tell them, I wasn't organized, motivated, intelligent <fill in the blank> to manage both a career and a family so I took a break/stopped working all together....all because of YOU! Dear Susie, I'm going to volunteer in your classroom everyday to ensure you get into AAP and run you to a different after school activity every single day and sit home while you're in school all day trying to figure out how to clean our house and go grocery shopping with the 7 hours a day that I have on my hands.

My mom was a WOHM with me, but a SAHM for my younger siblings. She always thought that was just what you were SUPPOSED to do if you could. It was BETTER for your kids. This is now one of my moms biggest regrets. All of her kids turned out to be successful, happy people with families. I tend to remember more "special" things about my childhood than my siblings. I'm actually closer to my mom than the rest of them. She stalled her career for so long she found it difficult both professionally and personally to get back in the field. She feels like she could have worked and all of her kids would have been just as healthy and happy as they are now. She could have handled being a WOHM easily.

I have absolutely no worries about my kids looking back on their childhood and feeling neglected because I have a career. I know that it helps SAHMs feel better about their choice, but I have absolutely no guilt, but if you acknowledge this it doesn't help your martyr act. Sorry.

I think it's pathetic that you consider yourself too "intelligent and motivated" to raise your own DC

+1000

That's what frightens me most about this wohm trend. The fact that putting one's own intellectual vanity over the welfare of YOUR OWN CHILD is a common excuse

You are joking, right? If not, you have just knocked SAHMs down a few more pegs in my book. Intellectual vanity??? Yes, because the world keeps going round because of your big contributions to society.

I'm also curious how you feel about your DH, who I assume works to keep that roof over your head and your big butt in that mommy-mobile every day. I'll also assume you don't worry about getting your DD into AAP since you just need her to look real pretty and smile a lot.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:I am absolutely shocked by the SAHM hating posts. "Lazy", "living off another person's dime," "insufferable"?
My spouse and I will make decisions based on our families' needs and you will make yours. We will all work hard and do the best we can. Some of us will teach our children to treat others with kindness and respect. The haters will teach hate.
I hope my kids don't cross paths with yours

"Mom how do you have so much free time to spend on DCUM?"
"I have nothing productive to do with my time other than argue with people on the Internet while your father works all day. Oh, I'm such a martyr!!!"

"Larla's mom does xyz with her, why don't you do that with me"
"SHUT YOUR MOUTH I DO EVERYTHING SHE DOES AND MORE"
"But mom you're gone most of the"
"I'M SUPER ORGANIZEEEEEDDDDDD"

Bwahahahahaha....bitter much? I know it's really hard on your already fragile ego to accept the fact that many WOHMs do just as much, and in many cases more, for and with their DC than many SAHMs. I know it's overwhelming when you have to figure out if you should go to the grocery store after your pedi or before. It's okay. Let all that disappointment and embarrassment out. Keep having fake conversation with yourself that you really hope happens between a WOHM and her DC. It might make you sleep better tonight.

[Anonymous]

^^ lol gotta get DD into an Ivy so she can get a fancy MRS degree and marry a doctor. The cycle of being a SAHM must perpetuate. Clearly these SAHMs who hate working moms so much for *gasp* not staying home 24/7 to take care of kids are telling their DDs they should never grow up to be terrible working mothers. I'm sure they'd appreciate someone talking to their DDs one day the way they are spewing vitriol at working moms.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:To get away from this riveting discussion of stay at home mommy martyrdom, I contribute that I like Daylight Savings Time. The time change doesn't bother me much and I like that it stays light out much longer.

It is Daylight Saving Time. This is DCUM, you know.

You're right, I messed that up. Probably because my mom put me in day care.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:I am absolutely shocked by the SAHM hating posts. "Lazy", "living off another person's dime," "insufferable"?
My spouse and I will make decisions based on our families' needs and you will make yours. We will all work hard and do the best we can. Some of us will teach our children to treat others with kindness and respect. The haters will teach hate.
I hope my kids don't cross paths with yours

Do you not see the language directed towards WOHMs, not to mention at childcare providers?

Really??????? No, I don't see it. (Not pp)

Just from this page:
the mom who palms her dc off to virtual strangers for most of their waking hours

Let's include the whole quote you just pulled that from so we aren't taking these words out of context. Don't be lazy, pp.

Sorry, the rest talked about how bad it is to leave your kids with a person who doesn't speak English well. You know, hardworking women providing for their families. Really reflects well on SAHMs, that poster.

Nope, sorry - you're twisting that post to suit your own bias. The post was asking why so many WOH parents seem to speak glowingly of their childcare providers yet dismissively of SAH parents. Even when the childcare provider might not speak English well (or at all), they are still seen as more desirable for their children than simply having a parent take care of them. We're still waiting for an answer, by the way. And that observation has nothing to do with racism, though you can certainly try and spin it that way.

Because earning a professional living is seen by many as a higher and better use of a parent's time than opting out of the workforce for years.

And there it is. So incredibly sad. I wonder what your children would think if they read your statement as adults. How pathetic for them to hear that you find working to be a better use of your time than taking care of them. Oh well - different strokes.

WOHM's conveniently ignore this statement

I think it's pathetic that you think so little of your DC, but at least you're setting yourself up to play the martyr mom role for the rest of your life with those DC when they become adults. You could tell them, I wasn't organized, motivated, intelligent <fill in the blank> to manage both a career and a family so I took a break/stopped working all together....all because of YOU! Dear Susie, I'm going to volunteer in your classroom everyday to ensure you get into AAP and run you to a different after school activity every single day and sit home while you're in school all day trying to figure out how to clean our house and go grocery shopping with the 7 hours a day that I have on my hands.

My mom was a WOHM with me, but a SAHM for my younger siblings. She always thought that was just what you were SUPPOSED to do if you could. It was BETTER for your kids. This is now one of my moms biggest regrets. All of her kids turned out to be successful, happy people with families. I tend to remember more "special" things about my childhood than my siblings. I'm actually closer to my mom than the rest of them. She stalled her career for so long she found it difficult both professionally and personally to get back in the field. She feels like she could have worked and all of her kids would have been just as healthy and happy as they are now. She could have handled being a WOHM easily.

I have absolutely no worries about my kids looking back on their childhood and feeling neglected because I have a career. I know that it helps SAHMs feel better about their choice, but I have absolutely no guilt, but if you acknowledge this it doesn't help your martyr act. Sorry.

"mom why why didn't you stay home with us when we were little, larla's mom did"
"Well taking care of my own children was beneath me because I have a graduate degree plus I was always afraid that your father would cheat on me."
" "

"Mom why can't I do xyz with Suzie."
"Because I depended on your father to provide, and when he cheated on me with a woman half my age and divorced me, I had no skills other than preparing you bento boxes, and shuttling you to your xyz activities Larla."

Oops

"Mom where are the rest the photos of when I was a baby?"
"I didn't take any, I was at the office for most of your waking hours"

"Mom how do you have so much free time to spend on DCUM?"
"I have nothing productive to do with my time other than argue with people on the Internet while your father works all day. Oh, I'm such a martyr!!!"

"Larla's mom does xyz with her, why don't you do that with me"
"SHUT YOUR MOUTH I DO EVERYTHING SHE DOES AND MORE"
"But mom you're gone most of the"
"I'M SUPER ORGANIZEEEEEDDDDDD"

A child old enough to have this conversation with you is going to be school age and thus away from home most of the day. Fail.

Ooh that's a good observation. Larla's mom is so delirious she's having this SAHM/WOHM debate with no one home to listen! Someone please get her a latte asap!

[Anonymous]

I never thought sahm vs wohm would become a debate

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:And there it is. So incredibly sad. I wonder what your children would think if they read your statement as adults. How pathetic for them to hear that you find working to be a better use of your time than taking care of them. Oh well - different strokes.

WOHM's conveniently ignore this statement

I think it's pathetic that you think so little of your DC, but at least you're setting yourself up to play the martyr mom role for the rest of your life with those DC when they become adults. You could tell them, I wasn't organized, motivated, intelligent <fill in the blank> to manage both a career and a family so I took a break/stopped working all together....all because of YOU! Dear Susie, I'm going to volunteer in your classroom everyday to ensure you get into AAP and run you to a different after school activity every single day and sit home while you're in school all day trying to figure out how to clean our house and go grocery shopping with the 7 hours a day that I have on my hands.

My mom was a WOHM with me, but a SAHM for my younger siblings. She always thought that was just what you were SUPPOSED to do if you could. It was BETTER for your kids. This is now one of my moms biggest regrets. All of her kids turned out to be successful, happy people with families. I tend to remember more "special" things about my childhood than my siblings. I'm actually closer to my mom than the rest of them. She stalled her career for so long she found it difficult both professionally and personally to get back in the field. She feels like she could have worked and all of her kids would have been just as healthy and happy as they are now. She could have handled being a WOHM easily.

I have absolutely no worries about my kids looking back on their childhood and feeling neglected because I have a career. I know that it helps SAHMs feel better about their choice, but I have absolutely no guilt, but if you acknowledge this it doesn't help your martyr act. Sorry.

I think it's pathetic that you consider yourself too "intelligent and motivated" to raise your own DC

+1000

That's what frightens me most about this wohm trend. The fact that putting one's own intellectual vanity over the welfare of YOUR OWN CHILD is a common excuse

You are joking, right? If not, you have just knocked SAHMs down a few more pegs in my book. Intellectual vanity??? Yes, because the world keeps going round because of your big contributions to society.

I'm also curious how you feel about your DH, who I assume works to keep that roof over your head and your big butt in that mommy-mobile every day. I'll also assume you don't worry about getting your DD into AAP since you just need her to look real pretty and smile a lot.

Why do dads get both a career and to raise children? Why is it only moms who need to spend their time and talents exclusively on child rearing?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:And there it is. So incredibly sad. I wonder what your children would think if they read your statement as adults. How pathetic for them to hear that you find working to be a better use of your time than taking care of them. Oh well - different strokes.

WOHM's conveniently ignore this statement

I think it's pathetic that you think so little of your DC, but at least you're setting yourself up to play the martyr mom role for the rest of your life with those DC when they become adults. You could tell them, I wasn't organized, motivated, intelligent <fill in the blank> to manage both a career and a family so I took a break/stopped working all together....all because of YOU! Dear Susie, I'm going to volunteer in your classroom everyday to ensure you get into AAP and run you to a different after school activity every single day and sit home while you're in school all day trying to figure out how to clean our house and go grocery shopping with the 7 hours a day that I have on my hands.

My mom was a WOHM with me, but a SAHM for my younger siblings. She always thought that was just what you were SUPPOSED to do if you could. It was BETTER for your kids. This is now one of my moms biggest regrets. All of her kids turned out to be successful, happy people with families. I tend to remember more "special" things about my childhood than my siblings. I'm actually closer to my mom than the rest of them. She stalled her career for so long she found it difficult both professionally and personally to get back in the field. She feels like she could have worked and all of her kids would have been just as healthy and happy as they are now. She could have handled being a WOHM easily.

I have absolutely no worries about my kids looking back on their childhood and feeling neglected because I have a career. I know that it helps SAHMs feel better about their choice, but I have absolutely no guilt, but if you acknowledge this it doesn't help your martyr act. Sorry.

I think it's pathetic that you consider yourself too "intelligent and motivated" to raise your own DC

+1000

That's what frightens me most about this wohm trend. The fact that putting one's own intellectual vanity over the welfare of YOUR OWN CHILD is a common excuse

You are joking, right? If not, you have just knocked SAHMs down a few more pegs in my book. Intellectual vanity??? Yes, because the world keeps going round because of your big contributions to society.

I'm also curious how you feel about your DH, who I assume works to keep that roof over your head and your big butt in that mommy-mobile every day. I'll also assume you don't worry about getting your DD into AAP since you just need her to look real pretty and smile a lot.

Why do dads get both a career and to raise children? Why is it only moms who need to spend their time and talents exclusively on child rearing?

Not a PP, dad's are great but kids always call out for their mom when they NEED someone

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:I think that most infertile people are infertile for a reason, and they should not push the issue. It's just a natural selection, and some genes just don't mean to be reproduced. I have not yet met a good parent of artificially created child.

I think that people should not receive medical treatment of any sort, people die for a reason, it is natural selection and science should not be used to interfere with nature. OH wait, that makes no sense.

I can see both sides of this argument. But, artificially creating a child is different than receiving medical treatment for yourself. It is literally artificially creating another human being.

Being on life support is literally artificially extending a life, getting treatment for cancer is literally artificially extending a life, getting an organ transplant is literally artificially extending a life.

I also don't think people who are against IUI/IVF actually understand the process.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Being a SAHM was a direct contribution to my postpartum depression. I regret it so, so much.

I ended up getting a job at Starbucks (I was a white collar professional) to get out of the house. We didn't need the money and people looked at me sideways for sending the kids to daycare, but it was the smartest decision I ever made. It saved my life.

I don't work at Starbucks anymore (back in my pre-children field), but I always tip extra when I go.

Whenever a mom who can afford daycare complains about staying home, I just shrug. Because if it was as bad as it was for me, you would get a job at pizza hut even if you DH was making 500K a year.

When i hear about a mom who would rather work at Pizza Hut than take care of her own child - with a husband that makes $500K/year or not - i think that this is someone who probably shouldn't be a mom. My unpopular opinion? that is just really sad.

+1

+2
In addition, I had the exact opposite experience as PP. I went back to work when my first was still an infant and was so desperately unhappy. Maybe some women can do it without any separation anxiety, but I was miserable. I stuck it out for two years, until DH and I finally decided I needed to stay home. I have never been happier, though I regret every day that I'll never get those first years back. We've had subsequent children and now I see how much better it is for me to be at home with them than at work. Different strokes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am absolutely shocked by the SAHM hating posts. "Lazy", "living off another person's dime," "insufferable"?
My spouse and I will make decisions based on our families' needs and you will make yours. We will all work hard and do the best we can. Some of us will teach our children to treat others with kindness and respect. The haters will teach hate.
I hope my kids don't cross paths with yours

Do you not see the language directed towards WOHMs, not to mention at childcare providers?

Really??????? No, I don't see it. (Not pp)

Just from this page:
the mom who palms her dc off to virtual strangers for most of their waking hours

Let's include the whole quote you just pulled that from so we aren't taking these words out of context. Don't be lazy, pp.

Sorry, the rest talked about how bad it is to leave your kids with a person who doesn't speak English well. You know, hardworking women providing for their families. Really reflects well on SAHMs, that poster.

Nope, sorry - you're twisting that post to suit your own bias. The post was asking why so many WOH parents seem to speak glowingly of their childcare providers yet dismissively of SAH parents. Even when the childcare provider might not speak English well (or at all), they are still seen as more desirable for their children than simply having a parent take care of them. We're still waiting for an answer, by the way. And that observation has nothing to do with racism, though you can certainly try and spin it that way.

Because earning a professional living is seen by many as a higher and better use of a parent's time than opting out of the workforce for years.

And there it is. So incredibly sad. I wonder what your children would think if they read your statement as adults. How pathetic for them to hear that you find working to be a better use of your time than taking care of them. Oh well - different strokes.

WOHM's conveniently ignore this statement

I think it's pathetic that you think so little of your DC, but at least you're setting yourself up to play the martyr mom role for the rest of your life with those DC when they become adults. You could tell them, I wasn't organized, motivated, intelligent <fill in the blank> to manage both a career and a family so I took a break/stopped working all together....all because of YOU! Dear Susie, I'm going to volunteer in your classroom everyday to ensure you get into AAP and run you to a different after school activity every single day and sit home while you're in school all day trying to figure out how to clean our house and go grocery shopping with the 7 hours a day that I have on my hands.

My mom was a WOHM with me, but a SAHM for my younger siblings. She always thought that was just what you were SUPPOSED to do if you could. It was BETTER for your kids. This is now one of my moms biggest regrets. All of her kids turned out to be successful, happy people with families. I tend to remember more "special" things about my childhood than my siblings. I'm actually closer to my mom than the rest of them. She stalled her career for so long she found it difficult both professionally and personally to get back in the field. She feels like she could have worked and all of her kids would have been just as healthy and happy as they are now. She could have handled being a WOHM easily.

I have absolutely no worries about my kids looking back on their childhood and feeling neglected because I have a career. I know that it helps SAHMs feel better about their choice, but I have absolutely no guilt, but if you acknowledge this it doesn't help your martyr act. Sorry.

Or perhaps SAHMs who are happy with their choice aren't playing the martyr at all. How does choosing to be at home make you a martyr? When I hear that accusation, especially from a WOHM, it becomes crystal clear that there are some major insecurities at play. Why else would you make such judgmental and frankly, false, accusations about another person's life choices? Has it ever occurred to you that SAHMs could easily take on employment if they wished to, but they *choose not to*? I'm extremely organized, motivated, and intelligent - as are my other friends who are SAHMs. Your remarks just make you sound bitter and resentful. If you're so delighted with your life, then you shouldn't feel the need to knock down others who wouldn't be happy working outside the home. Right?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I never thought sahm vs wohm would become a debate

It will always be a debate.

I know a woman who is miserable b/c she gave up her career. Husband makes shitloads, but he also has a girlfriend (or two). She's miserable, despite her new car, lovely home and great kids.

She may not be the norm, but she clearly isn't the only one.

I work hard - out of the home - and while I have my bad days, I know that if my husband made some stupid moves, I could leave and still support myself and my kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:To get away from this riveting discussion of stay at home mommy martyrdom, I contribute that I like Daylight Savings Time. The time change doesn't bother me much and I like that it stays light out much longer.

If by "martyr" you're referring to the WOHMs who insist that they do "SO much more" and "would NEVER spend all day on DCUM," then I agree. It's so interesting that there are plenty of WOHMs available during the day to continue this scintillating conversation. Hey wait - I thought you were all oh so busy at your incredibly interesting and fulfilling jobs!! Funny how you always show up on DCUM but then like to insinuate that it's only SAHMs who would possibly have time to do something so frivolous. Hypocritical much?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am absolutely shocked by the SAHM hating posts. "Lazy", "living off another person's dime," "insufferable"?
My spouse and I will make decisions based on our families' needs and you will make yours. We will all work hard and do the best we can. Some of us will teach our children to treat others with kindness and respect. The haters will teach hate.
I hope my kids don't cross paths with yours

Do you not see the language directed towards WOHMs, not to mention at childcare providers?

Really??????? No, I don't see it. (Not pp)

Just from this page:
the mom who palms her dc off to virtual strangers for most of their waking hours

Let's include the whole quote you just pulled that from so we aren't taking these words out of context. Don't be lazy, pp.

Sorry, the rest talked about how bad it is to leave your kids with a person who doesn't speak English well. You know, hardworking women providing for their families. Really reflects well on SAHMs, that poster.

Nope, sorry - you're twisting that post to suit your own bias. The post was asking why so many WOH parents seem to speak glowingly of their childcare providers yet dismissively of SAH parents. Even when the childcare provider might not speak English well (or at all), they are still seen as more desirable for their children than simply having a parent take care of them. We're still waiting for an answer, by the way. And that observation has nothing to do with racism, though you can certainly try and spin it that way.

Because earning a professional living is seen by many as a higher and better use of a parent's time than opting out of the workforce for years.

And there it is. So incredibly sad. I wonder what your children would think if they read your statement as adults. How pathetic for them to hear that you find working to be a better use of your time than taking care of them. Oh well - different strokes.

WOHM's conveniently ignore this statement

I think it's pathetic that you think so little of your DC, but at least you're setting yourself up to play the martyr mom role for the rest of your life with those DC when they become adults. You could tell them, I wasn't organized, motivated, intelligent <fill in the blank> to manage both a career and a family so I took a break/stopped working all together....all because of YOU! Dear Susie, I'm going to volunteer in your classroom everyday to ensure you get into AAP and run you to a different after school activity every single day and sit home while you're in school all day trying to figure out how to clean our house and go grocery shopping with the 7 hours a day that I have on my hands.

My mom was a WOHM with me, but a SAHM for my younger siblings. She always thought that was just what you were SUPPOSED to do if you could. It was BETTER for your kids. This is now one of my moms biggest regrets. All of her kids turned out to be successful, happy people with families. I tend to remember more "special" things about my childhood than my siblings. I'm actually closer to my mom than the rest of them. She stalled her career for so long she found it difficult both professionally and personally to get back in the field. She feels like she could have worked and all of her kids would have been just as healthy and happy as they are now. She could have handled being a WOHM easily.

I have absolutely no worries about my kids looking back on their childhood and feeling neglected because I have a career. I know that it helps SAHMs feel better about their choice, but I have absolutely no guilt, but if you acknowledge this it doesn't help your martyr act. Sorry.

I think it's pathetic that you consider yourself too "intelligent and motivated" to raise your own DC

I'm clearly doing both - raising my kids and succeeding professionally. The question is, why can't you do both? What's your answer going to be to your DC then?

Not the PP, but perhaps the answer will simply be, "I enjoyed being available for you and your siblings, so I decided I didn't want to return to work. I got great pleasure out of volunteering at school, going on field trips with you, being here when you left in the morning and came home in the afternoon. I consider being home a privilege." At least, that's what my mom told me when I asked her as an adult why she had decided to stay home. And it made me feel wonderful that she thought so highly of us.