what do you say to neighbors about why you are choosing private vs the local public?
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Anonymous
Lucky you, because in my Bethesda neighborhood, plenty of neighbors and friends care that we send our child to private....They care far too much, in fact! |
Anonymous
| Just don't say anything. It's not really their business. Some people will judge no matter what, public and private parents both. I went to private schools K-12 (excellent ones) and yet am choosing to send my DC to public because, for them, I believe the public education is superior. I've encountered occasional unpleasant nosiness about that decision from private school parents, which I assume is related to their own misgivings about private school. I think there is a segment of the private school population who cannot accept that rational parents could look at both private and public and conclude that public was educationally superior for their DC. I'm sure there's a segment of the public school population who cannot accept that rational parents might conclude the same about private (that it's superior educationally for their DC). But most people don't care too much and there's no need to engage. |
Anonymous
It's all one school system. So if the Potomac/Bethesda parents scream and yell about putting more money put into the capital improvement budget, then the schools with poor kids benefit from this as well. If the Potomac/Bethesda parents scream about cutting bus transportation to magnet programs, then poor kids in magnet programs benefit from this as well. It's not perfect, and the de facto segregation in MCPS is shameful. But it's still more involvement and effect than there would be if the Potomac/Bethesda kids were all in private school -- or in their own separate public (for people like them) schools. Also some of the PTAs in schools where people have a lot of money partner with PTAs in schools where people have little money. Ideally (in my opinion) there would be more of this. |
Anonymous
One of the benefits of school choice could potentially be schools that have to pay more attention to parents. Where I live, public schools are essentially a monopoly. I am assigned to an elem-middle-high and that's the set of schools my child will attend. When my child runs into an abusive teacher, there is no recourse. The administration functions to protect the teacher. I cannot "make" the administration switch my child to a different class. I cannot move my child to a different public school. I cannot even run for the school board to advocate for change. If there were school choice, perhaps schools would have to pay attention to parents and children who are dissatisfied with the educational environment. Perhaps the school board would actually have to pay attention not just to the admin and teachers, but to the children who are at the mercy of the system for hours every day. Currently, only those of us with extra money or time can pretend to have school choice in the form of opting for private or home schooling. The local publics have a captive audience and guaranteed income and they know it. Sometimes, the best thing to do for society IS to opt out of a corrupt and broken system. (I admit the experience I had may be influencing my extreme distaste for the public school situation in my area. I never anticipated sending my children to anything but public school.) |
Anonymous
What makes you think public schools want active, engaged, smart, and demanding parents? Mine sure didn't. They'd do whatever they could to keep parents away and were more than happy for those active and engaged parents to take their children somewhere else and stop rocking the boat. |
Anonymous
Even renters pay enough and that money goes to taxes as the rent rate is based on the cost of the area. Unless we start talking housing the the government pay the rent which pays the taxes, which goes back to the government. Like my neighbor said. He has no kids in school now. He said taxes that fund schools raise property values. It's not a bad deal even for those that do not have children |
Anonymous
Don't fool yourself. People want to know why -- we get asked this question all the time and it is a real conversation stopper. No matter what you say, it's hard not to sound defensive. Also, they always make a point of saying how great their child's experience is in the public school. |
Anonymous
Just a guess here, but... maybe their kid did have a great experience in public school and they were being truthful? You do sound fairly defensive, even in that one post above. But you don't have to be defensive, just own your own choices and talk about them with confidence. |
Anonymous
Public schools don't want PITA parents (your "rocking the boat") any more than private schools want them. Having had kids in public and private schools, I can say that the desire to help PITA parents move elsewhere is universal among school administrators of all stripes. |
Anonymous
| "The public school that our house is assigned to sucks." |
Anonymous
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My mother's funny tactic has always been to cut people off by insulting me. It's kind of an Asian thing - the kids are raised to be very confident in the home, but in public humility is important. Nothing stops the conversation better than an answer like "oh my child is very lazy and needs private school so she's watched more closely."
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Anonymous
Hey--the private school parents can be earnest too...haven't you read the threads about which cotillion classes are the best and which ones you really need to avoid? |
Anonymous
| I have never even thought about this. What do parents in Alexandria City think of those who send to private? My neighbors have never mentioned it, but now I wonder..... |
Anonymous
I love your mom's humor. I'm going to use this and I'm white. |
Anonymous
Well that's a mature and friendly way to improve relations with your neighbors. |