Nurse-in at Hirshhorn on 2/12 from 10-12

[Anonymous]

You can write as many long posts as you want, I am still not understanding the purpose of this nurse-in.

The guards were misinformed. The museum has apologized. The Smithsonian does not appear to be ignorant of the law.

If I were an expectant mother waffling about whether to breastfeed this would definitely turn me off. You are giving breastfeeding moms (including myself) a bad name.

And your screen name is a little creepy.

[TheWife]

Anonymous wrote:You can write as many long posts as you want, I am still not understanding the purpose of this nurse-in.

The guards were misinformed. The museum has apologized. The Smithsonian does not appear to be ignorant of the law.

If I were an expectant mother waffling about whether to breastfeed this would definitely turn me off. You are giving breastfeeding moms (including myself) a bad name.

And your screen name is a little creepy.

Perhaps if you read the posts it might be more clear. Despite their length, I don't believe that they're particularly difficult to understand, and if there's something that I've written that you don't understand, I'm more than willing to answer questions. Consider me at your disposal.

Question: What is "this" that would turn you off? What have I said/done that would be disturbing to anyone? Again, I ask for clarification.

I am sorry that you find my screen name "creepy" -- it is a name I use because of the blogging network that my husband and I run. We write several blogs, 2 of which are related to romance novels (http://covers.unclewaltersrants.com/ and http://romance.unclewaltersrants.com/), and it is how I've come to be known in most internet circles. It was originally coined by my husband (who goes by the pseudonym of "Uncle Walter") in an effort to refer to me without using my given name. That was probably a futile effort on his part to begin with, but it was a sweet gesture none-the-less, and I know that he meant it in the nicest possible way. Because it is now associated with me, I tend to use it in online forums. However, if it bothers you, I have provided my name (Jennifer), and with the smallest amount of poking around (heck, just read the link I provided), it is quite easy to determine my full name. I have a web-presence and I am completely comfortable corresponding as "myself."

Jennifer (aka "The Wife")

[Anonymous]

I am a great proponent of breast feeding, public or otherwise. I even came to the defense of a lady sitting next to me at the DMV recently who was told by a member of staff that she could not nurse her baby in the DMV.
I have to say though that I cannot support this action since the museum has apologized. I believe it will feed the negative stereotype that we are all a bunch of breast wielding  whack jobs that cannot be taken seriously.

[TheWife]

Anonymous wrote:I am a great proponent of breast feeding, public or otherwise. I even came to the defense of a lady sitting next to me at the DMV recently who was told by a member of staff that she could not nurse her baby in the DMV.
I have to say though that I cannot support this action since the museum has apologized. I believe it will feed the negative stereotype that we are all a bunch of breast wielding  whack jobs that cannot be taken seriously.

That would entirely depend on what you expect the outcome of the "nurse-in" to be. If it is a protest of bad behavior, then no, it isn't particularly necessary under these particular circumstances. However, if it is meant, as I believe it to be, to bring awareness of the rights of breastfeeding mothers, to educate the populace, and to bring attention to the discrimination that (despite laws to the contrary) is still being perpetuated, then it can (and hopefully will) serve a valuable and important service. The Hirshhorn museum has been given an opportunity to participate in the nurse-in, to show their acceptance (very publicly) of a cause they claim to support, and to assist in doing what the Smithsonian is known for -- educating the masses. My intended actions, distributing an educational tool that is designed to prevent further... misunderstandings, are also meant in an educational and supportive way. Perhaps it's because of my own involvement, but none of those outcomes seem negative to me. I can validate my own reasons, and I am fairly confident of the reasons offered by others involved (although, of course, who is to say what goes through the private recesses of one's mind?), and none of them are confrontational, argumentative, or malicious.

I've asked for clarification about what is so disturbing, I've provided specific explanations for the actions being taken, and I have made myself available, publicly, to answer any specific questions about the intent and reasoning behind the nurse-in. There is nothing disingenuous about what is being done or said, and I would greatly appreciate it if those arguing either side of this topic would behave in a civil manner. (Although, to the poster I've quoted above, I have not taken offense to what you've said. I am merely using this opportunity to speak, in general terms about the discussion.) But, really, that's an afterthought and not a necessity.

Jennifer (aka "The Wife")

[Anonymous]

In response to "The Wife,"

After reading your multiple posts, I understand your purpose in orchestrating this nurse in. I still take issue with your tactics. Ostensibly, you hope to educate the populace about the rights of BF mothers. I think it also might be about your need to advance a cause that is a big part of your identity. (Thanks btw, for all the links about your previous efforts.)

As a breastfeeding mom, I wish you would head the advice of some very smart women who have posted before me. Your tactics aren't warranted, and quite frankly, piss me off. I support the same cause you do, but feel that you are doing me a disservice.

Even if you don't agree with those of us who take issue with the nurse in, please try to consider where we are coming from.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:oficial facebook page of the event:


http://www.facebook.com/event.php?eid=187870741235066

Don't forget to take pictures. And please remember to tag them also.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:God, the poor security guard...you're all nuts.

How about protesting the fact that nearly 50 percent of DC schoolchildren go to bed hungry every night? Where's the outrage there? Where's the action plan?

Oh so we have only one option? Why not do both then?

What about you? What are YOU doing for those kids?

[TheWife]

Anonymous wrote:In response to "The Wife,"

After reading your multiple posts, I understand your purpose in orchestrating this nurse in. I still take issue with your tactics. Ostensibly, you hope to educate the populace about the rights of BF mothers. I think it also might be about your need to advance a cause that is a big part of your identity. (Thanks btw, for all the links about your previous efforts.)

As a breastfeeding mom, I wish you would head the advice of some very smart women who have posted before me. Your tactics aren't warranted, and quite frankly, piss me off. I support the same cause you do, but feel that you are doing me a disservice.

Even if you don't agree with those of us who take issue with the nurse in, please try to consider where we are coming from.

It's kind of hard for me to take into consideration where you're "coming from" when no one will give me a straight answer about what they "take issue" with. What "tactics" am I employing that are inappropriate? Handing out useful documentation? Gathering together with other moms to garner awareness? What aspect of this, after these detailed explanations to clarify the concerns, appears confrontational or inappropriate? Again, I ask, what tactics would you prefer I take? (Ones that would provide an equal platform to raise awareness and publicly educate.) The only suggestions I've seen are:

Hand out the documentation, just not there. But that doesn't quite explain how I'm supposed to accomplish that, or who I'm supposed to be giving it to, given that there aren't otherwise large congregations of breastfeeding moms easily accessible. Should I troll LLL groups? I think, given that (as I said) I haven't breastfed in 3 years, that would be a little weird, don't you?

Write letters. Well, that is only useful if I'm made aware of the circumstances I need to address. Without publicity, I'm not going to get that information easily, for sure. And writing letters certainly doesn't raise awareness among the general populace, since they're not exactly going to be seeing those letters. Besides, I already do that.

Sign petitions. See above. And, of course, the fact that those petitions are (again, as I've said) situation specific and limited in scope. Oh, and I do that, too.

Forgive them. Well, sure. I do. I hold no animosity towards the Hirshhorn, or the Smithsonian. I just want to make sure that other women are not subjected to confrontations like this, and I don't see how to make that possible without drawing attention to the cause. Certainly this is nothing new, and if it is continuing to happen, over a decade after the federal law took effect, then the status quo isn't good enough.

Don't hold the nurse-in. But... um... that solves what? It doesn't draw attention to the situation. It doesn't educate the masses. It doesn't force the Smithsonian to follow its own policies. Again, as I said, one person being unaware of the law/policy is bad enough, but two being so ill-informed is evidence enough that what they're currently doing to enforce said policies and laws isn't working.

So... what should we do? Let this continue to happen? Say "okay, they said sorry, that's good enough for me!"? Except, that doesn't change anything, does it? Change is made by taking action and it has always been that way. Whenever public opinion must be swayed, vocal response is the only effective measure. If there were another way, I'd be more than happy to take it.

I've provided a single link to an instance (nearly 6 years ago) of an article that I was quoted in (the other links were OT and related to a humor blog that my husband and I run). Participating in ~6 instances of social change (where I was once interviewed for radio) does not equal a "big part" of my "identity." My husband suggested that I not respond to this, saying that he feels it, much as the "I agree, but you're pissing me off" statement, is designed to be inflammatory, but I have chosen to address it anyway. This is no more a part of my "identity" than any cause that I choose to support. I'm not a racial minority, but I support racial equality. I'm not in a wheel chair, but I support equal rights for those that are. I am not a homosexual, but I choose to support the rights of the LGBTQ community. And just as feminists before me, I want my daughter to grow up in a world where people aren't afraid to make waves in order to effect change, especially for topics that could potentially effect her. I never, ever, want her to have to justify doing what's right for her own children (should she choose to have them).

Throughout history there have been those that have been "pissed off" at the efforts others have employed in the name of progress. Oddly enough, those same people never seem to hesitate when taking advantage of the privileges that others have struggled to secure. *shrug* I am content that what I am doing is right, I am content that the steps I am taking are not harmful or inflammatory, and I can live with that. Given that I'm an inherently selfish being (as all humans are), that's what really matters.

Jennifer (aka "The Wife")

[Anonymous]

I have a few friends who are normally breastfeeding advocates who are oddly split on this. Many feel as PPs have discussed - that the issue has been resolved and that's that. The thing is, let's not kid ourselves. First, it's unlikely that the HH or SI would have apologized, at least not so publicly, without the momentum that the nurse-in has generated. And secondly, the publicity that the nurse-in will generate may help raise awareness for other institutions and organizations that may not have awareness of nursing rights built into their training.

If protecting the nursing rights of mothers is important, and I think it is, then it's proper to raise awareness via any peaceful means available. I was asked to leave a restaurant once while using a NURSING COVER. Unbelievable, huh? And then my baby was one of the ones who stopped tolerating the nursing cover, and I was always on edge nursing him. Nurse-ins help make it so that by the time our daughters or our son's wives are old enough to breastfeed their children, they won't have to think twice about it the way I do.

Some of the posters here are just incredible. They think nursing moms want to "flaunt it" or "put it in your face." Nothing could be further from the truth. I hated nursing in public. Not because there is anything inherently unpleasant (quite the contrary), but because I was always aware of people staring. I was always waiting for someone to be offended. I wanted to be as small as possible while doing it. That's so wrong. And that's why nurse-ins are important. The more we do it, the more we see it, the more normal it becomes.

[Anonymous]

Dear Jennifer, I have been posting on this thread and I wish sincerely that I could respond as eloquently and politely as you have. I've been more confrontational, asking why people are offended by a beautiful and necessary act, sarcastically inquiring who should determine standards of decency when it comes to BFing and suggesting that anyone who thinks BFing is offensive is in 'dire need of education'. Reading back my own words, I realize that I haven't helped the cause that much because I've stooped to the level of the naysayers and turned an important issue into a back and forth silly argument. Again, I admire the way you have taken the high road when trying to explain all of this to people instead of resorting to snark. It's obvious we both feel strongly about this issue-I just wish I could have expressed myself as well as you did.

[Anonymous]

PP here -- one more thing. The person a few pages back said "tit terrorist." Clever, but I don't think terrorism means what you think it means.

[TheWife]

Anonymous wrote:Dear Jennifer, I have been posting on this thread and I wish sincerely that I could respond as eloquently and politely as you have. I've been more confrontational, asking why people are offended by a beautiful and necessary act, sarcastically inquiring who should determine standards of decency when it comes to BFing and suggesting that anyone who thinks BFing is offensive is in 'dire need of education'. Reading back my own words, I realize that I haven't helped the cause that much because I've stooped to the level of the naysayers and turned an important issue into a back and forth silly argument. Again, I admire the way you have taken the high road when trying to explain all of this to people instead of resorting to snark. It's obvious we both feel strongly about this issue-I just wish I could have expressed myself as well as you did.

What a kind thing to say! Thank you.

Hopefully, from now on, you'll be able to bite your tongue a bit better.

Jennifer (aka "The Wife")

[Anonymous]

Keep on keepin on people.

But I won't be there. And I wish you didn't speak for me as a breastfeeding mom.

[TheWife]

Anonymous wrote:I hated nursing in public. Not because there is anything inherently unpleasant (quite the contrary), but because I was always aware of people staring. I was always waiting for someone to be offended. I wanted to be as small as possible while doing it. That's so wrong. And that's why nurse-ins are important. The more we do it, the more we see it, the more normal it becomes.

I'm sorry. I never, ever, want a woman to feel that way. I never want my daughter to feel that way. In 2011, in a progressive area such as DC, this should be a non-issue. This should be something that no one raises an eyebrow at. It should be common place and acceptable.

Jennifer (aka "The Wife")

[TheWife]

Anonymous wrote:Keep on keepin on people.

But I won't be there. And I wish you didn't speak for me as a breastfeeding mom.

Don't worry -- I don't. I will speak for those that want an end to discrimination, who want to ensure the rights of breastfeeding moms, who want to be able to peacefully feed their children without fear that they will be criticized, ostracized, condemned or attacked. Especially not by other moms who *claim* to be supportive, but refuse to stand up for the rights of others.

Jennifer (aka "The Wife")