Why is $275k hhi now so poor?

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:Stop blowing smoke up my arse trying to claim $275k hhi is just fine and dandy these days. It is not. We are friggin dinks with virtually no debt except our mortgage on a very modest $625k home. We rake in $275k and are super middle class, it’s insane. Right now driving an 8 year old cheap Mazda 3 bought for $20k snd is paid off. I dread the day we need a new car, because a new car payment will place huge strain on our finances. I think we can only afford a Toyota sedan next. You’d think dinks making almost $300k could afford an Audi these days, but nope. Car insurance, home insurance, taxes, groceries……all of it demolishes you. We only take 1 vacation too per year.

Ok, we might tread water, I’ll give you that. But we aren’t THRIVING. I feel like you’ll only thrive on a $500k income these days. And that’s only from a DINK perspective! I dunno how everyone else who is poorer AND has kids survives. You all survive on malk and beans? Who knew the American dream for family people meant a life of brittle bones and cutting coupons, lol. Prices are so outta control. It is bonkers.

Try rolling up your sleeves and doing some actual work instead of outsourcing everything. No doubt you have a housecleaning service, lawn service, and pay contractors for even the simplest of home improvement tasks (e.g., putting on a new roof).

DH and I both work, have two kids, have an HHI of $250K, and have no issues saving 30% of our gross HHI while also setting aside $1K net per month for college savings. We just added a new 1000sqft composite deck, 300sqft screened porch, and 2000sqft of hardscaping and water features in NOVA for only $60K. Contractors wanted $250K for the same.

Don’t be so useless and lazy and you’ll find that $275K is plenty.

Sure Susan. Let me just go replace my roof after watching some YouTube videos, lol. Absolutely nothing could go wrong working on a home repair like that with a bad spine and multiple tons of shingles to haul up 20 feet. And all alone.

I bet allmof the quality of your DIY projects are trash, and you probably violated multiple building codes that will make it difficult to unload your garbage house. Have fun!

+1. Who DIY’s replacing a roof? Her house is probably a patchwork of one crap project after the other.

A person who wants a solar roof installed for the price of a typical, trashy asphalt shingle roof? DH and I only hire contractors for low-level, low-impact projects when we’ve run out of available time. Only so many hours in the day after all. There’s no such thing in our household as hiring a contractor to do something simply because we lack the skill or capability ourselves. Is this even a thing?!? Totally surprised to think this might be true. People can’t just read a book and figure stuff out?

I have the skills to put on a new roof---helped parents while growing up---dad did everything except HVAC. Sure, I can read and figure it out, and I used to when we were young. But now I happily outsource all of that to highly qualified people. It's called contributing to the economy.

My spouse makes close to $500/hour. They are defiantly not interested in spending their free time doing house repairs. So we pay people to do it. It's called prioritizing

Yes, but how much do you make per hour? Sounds like you’re nothing but a freeloading spend-a-lot.

jealous much?

I was making $150K 25+ years ago when we made the joint decision for me to become a SAHP, to kids where the other parent was traveling 2+ weeks per month typically and would get home at 8pm most nights. There is more to contribute to a family than just a paycheck. It works for us, my spouse is quite happy with the arrangement. In reality, why are you bothered by how we spend our money? We have plenty of it.

Not bothered. Just embarrassed for you. I have countless acquaintances that have the option to become a SAHP. The only ones that actually choose this path, however, are those that lack the endurance and self-confidence to succeed as contributing professionals. The acquaintances I consider friends are able to rise above adversity and push through the glass ceiling, where others – much like yourself – repeatedly fail.

it actually takes a lot more endurance and self-confidence to give up a high powered job and career path and choose to stay home with the kids. I have two BS degrees from a T10 university and a MS from a T20 (fully funded with a salary while in school). I was well on a path to high powered job, as making $150K 25+ years ago is equivalent to $250K+ now---was making that at 29. But I CHOSE to stay home with my kids, as that's what I wanted to do. Spouse fully supported me. I do not need to be at a high paying job to define my life as successful. We chose a path that worked best for our family. I have plenty of friends who are SAHP and plenty that are in paid careers. Interestingly, we all support each other despite our different career path.

+10000

Also, I’ll bet before you left the workforce (perhaps temporarily), you also had some savings. What I had saved and invested represents a substantial amount of our net worth. No family assistance financially or physically. We also bought our house a couple months before the housing market crash, so peak prices.

Yes, we had paid off over $80K in student loans, saved 20% for downpayment, saved and purchased a $40K vehicle with cash right before first kid was born. Also saved well for retirement during those years. Bought first house in an "okay" area, schools were decent but not stellar. And we bought on just one income--we could have afforded a house double the value but chose to go reasonable, so that allowed us to continue to save the extra. That was all done in 6 years. We were ultra focused on getting rid of any debt and buying a home that allowed us to still save well.
I worked PT once kids were in school, but very PT at a very flexible job using my 2nd degree and doing something I absolutely loved for 10-15 hours/week. Also managed our finances and investing. Very happy with the choices we made.
Now that we are empty nesters, it means I get to travel with spouse when they go somewhere nice for work. It's nice not having to manage two work schedules. It's my reward for all the 24 hour days for 20+ years with kids at home. I travelled over 6 weeks last year with spouse for work trips.

Interesting that this is the reward for being the primary caretaker for 20 years.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:Stop blowing smoke up my arse trying to claim $275k hhi is just fine and dandy these days. It is not. We are friggin dinks with virtually no debt except our mortgage on a very modest $625k home. We rake in $275k and are super middle class, it’s insane. Right now driving an 8 year old cheap Mazda 3 bought for $20k snd is paid off. I dread the day we need a new car, because a new car payment will place huge strain on our finances. I think we can only afford a Toyota sedan next. You’d think dinks making almost $300k could afford an Audi these days, but nope. Car insurance, home insurance, taxes, groceries……all of it demolishes you. We only take 1 vacation too per year.

Ok, we might tread water, I’ll give you that. But we aren’t THRIVING. I feel like you’ll only thrive on a $500k income these days. And that’s only from a DINK perspective! I dunno how everyone else who is poorer AND has kids survives. You all survive on malk and beans? Who knew the American dream for family people meant a life of brittle bones and cutting coupons, lol. Prices are so outta control. It is bonkers.

Try rolling up your sleeves and doing some actual work instead of outsourcing everything. No doubt you have a housecleaning service, lawn service, and pay contractors for even the simplest of home improvement tasks (e.g., putting on a new roof).

DH and I both work, have two kids, have an HHI of $250K, and have no issues saving 30% of our gross HHI while also setting aside $1K net per month for college savings. We just added a new 1000sqft composite deck, 300sqft screened porch, and 2000sqft of hardscaping and water features in NOVA for only $60K. Contractors wanted $250K for the same.

Don’t be so useless and lazy and you’ll find that $275K is plenty.

Sure Susan. Let me just go replace my roof after watching some YouTube videos, lol. Absolutely nothing could go wrong working on a home repair like that with a bad spine and multiple tons of shingles to haul up 20 feet. And all alone.

I bet allmof the quality of your DIY projects are trash, and you probably violated multiple building codes that will make it difficult to unload your garbage house. Have fun!

+1. Who DIY’s replacing a roof? Her house is probably a patchwork of one crap project after the other.

A person who wants a solar roof installed for the price of a typical, trashy asphalt shingle roof? DH and I only hire contractors for low-level, low-impact projects when we’ve run out of available time. Only so many hours in the day after all. There’s no such thing in our household as hiring a contractor to do something simply because we lack the skill or capability ourselves. Is this even a thing?!? Totally surprised to think this might be true. People can’t just read a book and figure stuff out?

I have the skills to put on a new roof---helped parents while growing up---dad did everything except HVAC. Sure, I can read and figure it out, and I used to when we were young. But now I happily outsource all of that to highly qualified people. It's called contributing to the economy.

My spouse makes close to $500/hour. They are defiantly not interested in spending their free time doing house repairs. So we pay people to do it. It's called prioritizing

Yes, but how much do you make per hour? Sounds like you’re nothing but a freeloading spend-a-lot.

jealous much?

I was making $150K 25+ years ago when we made the joint decision for me to become a SAHP, to kids where the other parent was traveling 2+ weeks per month typically and would get home at 8pm most nights. There is more to contribute to a family than just a paycheck. It works for us, my spouse is quite happy with the arrangement. In reality, why are you bothered by how we spend our money? We have plenty of it.

Not bothered. Just embarrassed for you. I have countless acquaintances that have the option to become a SAHP. The only ones that actually choose this path, however, are those that lack the endurance and self-confidence to succeed as contributing professionals. The acquaintances I consider friends are able to rise above adversity and push through the glass ceiling, where others – much like yourself – repeatedly fail.

it actually takes a lot more endurance and self-confidence to give up a high powered job and career path and choose to stay home with the kids. I have two BS degrees from a T10 university and a MS from a T20 (fully funded with a salary while in school). I was well on a path to high powered job, as making $150K 25+ years ago is equivalent to $250K+ now---was making that at 29. But I CHOSE to stay home with my kids, as that's what I wanted to do. Spouse fully supported me. I do not need to be at a high paying job to define my life as successful. We chose a path that worked best for our family. I have plenty of friends who are SAHP and plenty that are in paid careers. Interestingly, we all support each other despite our different career path.

No doubt this is what you wanted to do. Laziness is a powerful motivation. You’re an obviously incompetent and overinflated, self-promoting dimwit. The fact that you have two B.S. degrees is irrefutable proof that you’re a failure. A single, worthy B.S. is all anyone needs as a starting point. From there, one proceeds to acquire multiple masters and doctoral degrees – as I have done – for example. You’re a dabbler. You’re a tinkerer. You’re a smoke-blowing facilitator. But you’re far from being an achiever. You have no career. You’re a drifter in life that accomplishes less with full-time effort than do I in only a few simple hours. This, ultimately, is the rub. You’ve regressed to extreme inefficiency and dependency upon others and yet you pride yourself in your sloth-like ways.

I work a full-time job. My DH works a full-time job. We both choose to do so. Our HHI is $2.7M. We donate 1/3rd of that charitable causes. Our older DS just earned his Ph.D. in Aerospace Engineering from MIT, DS is just starting on her M.D. from John Hopkins. Our younger DS is working on his B.S. in Physics from Harvard.

I doubt that any of your kids will come close to achieving that which our children are accomplishing. Your stay-at-home sacrifice has been nothing but a self-fulfilling virtue signal. Pathetic.

Congrats…but why does one have to accumulate all these degrees? The wealthiest people in this country don’t even have a BS degree (Gates, Zuckerberg, Altman) or have just a BS degree (Bezos, Musk, etc).

Not sure why anyone equates degrees with financial success.

Only you do, apparently. Advanced degrees equate to intelligence, hard work, and perseverance. Every one of the people you referenced was only successful by abusing and then standing on the backs of others with advanced degrees. We all know why Meta, MSFT, Tesla, SpaceX, and GME are successful. Has nothing to do with these losers.

Huh? It has nothing to do with the people that actually founded the company? Nothing?

You are in a backhanded way throwing people with advanced degrees under the bus...basically, for all their education they are easily manipulated into doing the bidding of other, less educated people.

You sound like someone who believes all highly successful people somehow are evil. I gather Bill Ackman and all the hedge fund guys are evil. All the Blackstone and KKR guys are evil.

Tell us, does anyone who is highly successful without an advanced degree pass your purity test?

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:How old are you and how long have you been making that? You should be doing fine. When we were dinks making that, we had a subscription to the theater, went out for dinner a lot, bought a lot of clothes, visited friends in NYC, flew to visit parents a few times a year, did home renovations, etc. - plenty of money that didn’t need to be spent - unless you have backbreaking student loans. Then that’s the issue.

Look Jennifer from Gen X, it isn’t 1998 anymore. It is 2024. Maybe you haven’t noticed, but car and home insurance has risen by 30% in the last 3 years. Shopping around barely saves money. Gas is never going back down below $3.50 again. Groceries are insane. Garbage chipotle food now costs $42 for two people. Imagine how bad dining out is now when friggin fast food costs $40. A new stupid minivan for soccer moms is $50k.

Everything about American life sucks AZZ. You aren’t comfortable unless you’re now making. $500k. Maybe you should retire your waffle thermals and nirvana Ts and join the year 2024, Jen from latchkey.

You must be ordering the double meat at Chipotle to be spending $42 for two people. Check your spending and know that you are the problem in this thread.

Come on. I just got two pager sandwiches, an iced coffee and a donut at a takeout bagel store and it was $33. Just a few years ago it would have been <$25. A 30% increase in prices affects people at every level but the wealthiest.

Two sandwiches, a coffee, a donut. No surprise you weigh 300 lbs and crying about $275K not being enough. Eat less.
I just got a burrito from Chipotle. $11. That's a meal for one and I may not even be able finish it all.

Lololol. It’s for two people myself and my kid. My BMI is 18 and my kid is a stick. Troll harder, loser. I would not be caught dead eating at Chipotle, gross fast food.

Not sure how your sandwiches, bagels and donuts are somehow from a gourmet shop (which of course should cost a premium)...yet Chipotle is gross, fast food.

Hard for anyone to understand any distinction between these establishments.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:Stop blowing smoke up my arse trying to claim $275k hhi is just fine and dandy these days. It is not. We are friggin dinks with virtually no debt except our mortgage on a very modest $625k home. We rake in $275k and are super middle class, it’s insane. Right now driving an 8 year old cheap Mazda 3 bought for $20k snd is paid off. I dread the day we need a new car, because a new car payment will place huge strain on our finances. I think we can only afford a Toyota sedan next. You’d think dinks making almost $300k could afford an Audi these days, but nope. Car insurance, home insurance, taxes, groceries……all of it demolishes you. We only take 1 vacation too per year.

Ok, we might tread water, I’ll give you that. But we aren’t THRIVING. I feel like you’ll only thrive on a $500k income these days. And that’s only from a DINK perspective! I dunno how everyone else who is poorer AND has kids survives. You all survive on malk and beans? Who knew the American dream for family people meant a life of brittle bones and cutting coupons, lol. Prices are so outta control. It is bonkers.

Try rolling up your sleeves and doing some actual work instead of outsourcing everything. No doubt you have a housecleaning service, lawn service, and pay contractors for even the simplest of home improvement tasks (e.g., putting on a new roof).

DH and I both work, have two kids, have an HHI of $250K, and have no issues saving 30% of our gross HHI while also setting aside $1K net per month for college savings. We just added a new 1000sqft composite deck, 300sqft screened porch, and 2000sqft of hardscaping and water features in NOVA for only $60K. Contractors wanted $250K for the same.

Don’t be so useless and lazy and you’ll find that $275K is plenty.

Sure Susan. Let me just go replace my roof after watching some YouTube videos, lol. Absolutely nothing could go wrong working on a home repair like that with a bad spine and multiple tons of shingles to haul up 20 feet. And all alone.

I bet allmof the quality of your DIY projects are trash, and you probably violated multiple building codes that will make it difficult to unload your garbage house. Have fun!

+1. Who DIY’s replacing a roof? Her house is probably a patchwork of one crap project after the other.

A person who wants a solar roof installed for the price of a typical, trashy asphalt shingle roof? DH and I only hire contractors for low-level, low-impact projects when we’ve run out of available time. Only so many hours in the day after all. There’s no such thing in our household as hiring a contractor to do something simply because we lack the skill or capability ourselves. Is this even a thing?!? Totally surprised to think this might be true. People can’t just read a book and figure stuff out?

I have the skills to put on a new roof---helped parents while growing up---dad did everything except HVAC. Sure, I can read and figure it out, and I used to when we were young. But now I happily outsource all of that to highly qualified people. It's called contributing to the economy.

My spouse makes close to $500/hour. They are defiantly not interested in spending their free time doing house repairs. So we pay people to do it. It's called prioritizing

Yes, but how much do you make per hour? Sounds like you’re nothing but a freeloading spend-a-lot.

jealous much?

I was making $150K 25+ years ago when we made the joint decision for me to become a SAHP, to kids where the other parent was traveling 2+ weeks per month typically and would get home at 8pm most nights. There is more to contribute to a family than just a paycheck. It works for us, my spouse is quite happy with the arrangement. In reality, why are you bothered by how we spend our money? We have plenty of it.

Not bothered. Just embarrassed for you. I have countless acquaintances that have the option to become a SAHP. The only ones that actually choose this path, however, are those that lack the endurance and self-confidence to succeed as contributing professionals. The acquaintances I consider friends are able to rise above adversity and push through the glass ceiling, where others – much like yourself – repeatedly fail.

it actually takes a lot more endurance and self-confidence to give up a high powered job and career path and choose to stay home with the kids. I have two BS degrees from a T10 university and a MS from a T20 (fully funded with a salary while in school). I was well on a path to high powered job, as making $150K 25+ years ago is equivalent to $250K+ now---was making that at 29. But I CHOSE to stay home with my kids, as that's what I wanted to do. Spouse fully supported me. I do not need to be at a high paying job to define my life as successful. We chose a path that worked best for our family. I have plenty of friends who are SAHP and plenty that are in paid careers. Interestingly, we all support each other despite our different career path.

+10000

Also, I’ll bet before you left the workforce (perhaps temporarily), you also had some savings. What I had saved and invested represents a substantial amount of our net worth. No family assistance financially or physically. We also bought our house a couple months before the housing market crash, so peak prices.

Yes, we had paid off over $80K in student loans, saved 20% for downpayment, saved and purchased a $40K vehicle with cash right before first kid was born. Also saved well for retirement during those years. Bought first house in an "okay" area, schools were decent but not stellar. And we bought on just one income--we could have afforded a house double the value but chose to go reasonable, so that allowed us to continue to save the extra. That was all done in 6 years. We were ultra focused on getting rid of any debt and buying a home that allowed us to still save well.
I worked PT once kids were in school, but very PT at a very flexible job using my 2nd degree and doing something I absolutely loved for 10-15 hours/week. Also managed our finances and investing. Very happy with the choices we made.
Now that we are empty nesters, it means I get to travel with spouse when they go somewhere nice for work. It's nice not having to manage two work schedules. It's my reward for all the 24 hour days for 20+ years with kids at home. I travelled over 6 weeks last year with spouse for work trips.

Interesting that this is the reward for being the primary caretaker for 20 years.

Why? I get to "retire" early and enjoy life with my partner. We don't need me to work for $$$. My partner is getting ready to retire in 2-3 years. We plan to enjoy life.
But you do you and work until 65 or whatever.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:Stop blowing smoke up my arse trying to claim $275k hhi is just fine and dandy these days. It is not. We are friggin dinks with virtually no debt except our mortgage on a very modest $625k home. We rake in $275k and are super middle class, it’s insane. Right now driving an 8 year old cheap Mazda 3 bought for $20k snd is paid off. I dread the day we need a new car, because a new car payment will place huge strain on our finances. I think we can only afford a Toyota sedan next. You’d think dinks making almost $300k could afford an Audi these days, but nope. Car insurance, home insurance, taxes, groceries……all of it demolishes you. We only take 1 vacation too per year.

Ok, we might tread water, I’ll give you that. But we aren’t THRIVING. I feel like you’ll only thrive on a $500k income these days. And that’s only from a DINK perspective! I dunno how everyone else who is poorer AND has kids survives. You all survive on malk and beans? Who knew the American dream for family people meant a life of brittle bones and cutting coupons, lol. Prices are so outta control. It is bonkers.

Try rolling up your sleeves and doing some actual work instead of outsourcing everything. No doubt you have a housecleaning service, lawn service, and pay contractors for even the simplest of home improvement tasks (e.g., putting on a new roof).

DH and I both work, have two kids, have an HHI of $250K, and have no issues saving 30% of our gross HHI while also setting aside $1K net per month for college savings. We just added a new 1000sqft composite deck, 300sqft screened porch, and 2000sqft of hardscaping and water features in NOVA for only $60K. Contractors wanted $250K for the same.

Don’t be so useless and lazy and you’ll find that $275K is plenty.

Sure Susan. Let me just go replace my roof after watching some YouTube videos, lol. Absolutely nothing could go wrong working on a home repair like that with a bad spine and multiple tons of shingles to haul up 20 feet. And all alone.

I bet allmof the quality of your DIY projects are trash, and you probably violated multiple building codes that will make it difficult to unload your garbage house. Have fun!

+1. Who DIY’s replacing a roof? Her house is probably a patchwork of one crap project after the other.

A person who wants a solar roof installed for the price of a typical, trashy asphalt shingle roof? DH and I only hire contractors for low-level, low-impact projects when we’ve run out of available time. Only so many hours in the day after all. There’s no such thing in our household as hiring a contractor to do something simply because we lack the skill or capability ourselves. Is this even a thing?!? Totally surprised to think this might be true. People can’t just read a book and figure stuff out?

I have the skills to put on a new roof---helped parents while growing up---dad did everything except HVAC. Sure, I can read and figure it out, and I used to when we were young. But now I happily outsource all of that to highly qualified people. It's called contributing to the economy.

My spouse makes close to $500/hour. They are defiantly not interested in spending their free time doing house repairs. So we pay people to do it. It's called prioritizing

Yes, but how much do you make per hour? Sounds like you’re nothing but a freeloading spend-a-lot.

jealous much?

I was making $150K 25+ years ago when we made the joint decision for me to become a SAHP, to kids where the other parent was traveling 2+ weeks per month typically and would get home at 8pm most nights. There is more to contribute to a family than just a paycheck. It works for us, my spouse is quite happy with the arrangement. In reality, why are you bothered by how we spend our money? We have plenty of it.

Not bothered. Just embarrassed for you. I have countless acquaintances that have the option to become a SAHP. The only ones that actually choose this path, however, are those that lack the endurance and self-confidence to succeed as contributing professionals. The acquaintances I consider friends are able to rise above adversity and push through the glass ceiling, where others – much like yourself – repeatedly fail.

LOLOL. PP’s family can do all that on one salary with children and a SAHP, but this PP (OP?) can’t do it on one income.

Yup! PP's family (me) is well into the UHNW. Did all of that with just one income. It takes a lot more self confidence to give up a high paying, power grabbing job to SAHP your kids where the pay somedays is being yelled at, vomited on, and never have a moment to yourself.

You seem to think that having a SAHP is all about one partner making so much money that the other doesn’t need to work. This is psychological deflection at its best. The truth is – and always has been – that a SAHP chooses this path not because their partner’s career is exceptional but rather because their own career is abysmal.

+∞

And yet they had the looks, breeding and personality to marry well and stay married…so no tiny violins playing here

Yes, to marry someone that put us HNW by 35 and UHNW by 50. Happily married after 30+ years. We are a team, we are equals. We just each contribute to different parts of the family life.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:Stop blowing smoke up my arse trying to claim $275k hhi is just fine and dandy these days. It is not. We are friggin dinks with virtually no debt except our mortgage on a very modest $625k home. We rake in $275k and are super middle class, it’s insane. Right now driving an 8 year old cheap Mazda 3 bought for $20k snd is paid off. I dread the day we need a new car, because a new car payment will place huge strain on our finances. I think we can only afford a Toyota sedan next. You’d think dinks making almost $300k could afford an Audi these days, but nope. Car insurance, home insurance, taxes, groceries……all of it demolishes you. We only take 1 vacation too per year.

Ok, we might tread water, I’ll give you that. But we aren’t THRIVING. I feel like you’ll only thrive on a $500k income these days. And that’s only from a DINK perspective! I dunno how everyone else who is poorer AND has kids survives. You all survive on malk and beans? Who knew the American dream for family people meant a life of brittle bones and cutting coupons, lol. Prices are so outta control. It is bonkers.

Try rolling up your sleeves and doing some actual work instead of outsourcing everything. No doubt you have a housecleaning service, lawn service, and pay contractors for even the simplest of home improvement tasks (e.g., putting on a new roof).

DH and I both work, have two kids, have an HHI of $250K, and have no issues saving 30% of our gross HHI while also setting aside $1K net per month for college savings. We just added a new 1000sqft composite deck, 300sqft screened porch, and 2000sqft of hardscaping and water features in NOVA for only $60K. Contractors wanted $250K for the same.

Don’t be so useless and lazy and you’ll find that $275K is plenty.

Sure Susan. Let me just go replace my roof after watching some YouTube videos, lol. Absolutely nothing could go wrong working on a home repair like that with a bad spine and multiple tons of shingles to haul up 20 feet. And all alone.

I bet allmof the quality of your DIY projects are trash, and you probably violated multiple building codes that will make it difficult to unload your garbage house. Have fun!

+1. Who DIY’s replacing a roof? Her house is probably a patchwork of one crap project after the other.

A person who wants a solar roof installed for the price of a typical, trashy asphalt shingle roof? DH and I only hire contractors for low-level, low-impact projects when we’ve run out of available time. Only so many hours in the day after all. There’s no such thing in our household as hiring a contractor to do something simply because we lack the skill or capability ourselves. Is this even a thing?!? Totally surprised to think this might be true. People can’t just read a book and figure stuff out?

I have the skills to put on a new roof---helped parents while growing up---dad did everything except HVAC. Sure, I can read and figure it out, and I used to when we were young. But now I happily outsource all of that to highly qualified people. It's called contributing to the economy.

My spouse makes close to $500/hour. They are defiantly not interested in spending their free time doing house repairs. So we pay people to do it. It's called prioritizing

Yes, but how much do you make per hour? Sounds like you’re nothing but a freeloading spend-a-lot.

jealous much?

I was making $150K 25+ years ago when we made the joint decision for me to become a SAHP, to kids where the other parent was traveling 2+ weeks per month typically and would get home at 8pm most nights. There is more to contribute to a family than just a paycheck. It works for us, my spouse is quite happy with the arrangement. In reality, why are you bothered by how we spend our money? We have plenty of it.

Not bothered. Just embarrassed for you. I have countless acquaintances that have the option to become a SAHP. The only ones that actually choose this path, however, are those that lack the endurance and self-confidence to succeed as contributing professionals. The acquaintances I consider friends are able to rise above adversity and push through the glass ceiling, where others – much like yourself – repeatedly fail.

get over yourself - not everyone values the same things in life. (not PP).

Agreed. Some people – like me – value investing in hard work, contributing to society, promoting education, and empowering overall health and happiness to all. Others – such as yourself, perhaps – value cutting corners, bending the rules, stealing from children, and raping society’s unbridled innocence. To each his own.

So a SAHP values "cutting corner, being the rules, stealing from children"? I think you need to stop smoking whatever you are on.

a SAHP works hard, contributes to society, actually educates someone not just promotes it and empowers health and happiness. Sorry you had a miserable life and are miserable that you were not able to afford to stay home with your kid

SAHPs are total trash. Full stop. These are the people too stupid and too incompetent to secure legitimate careers. I want to vomit every time I meet one.

Women are so awesome to each other. It’s fun watching them rip each other to shreds while talking about the sisterhood.

I don't think PP was a woman. I've never heard any woman use the phrase "total trash."

Maybe.

I know a male SAHP, his wife is a surgeon, and none of the guys talk bad about his situation.

If you have enough money, isn’t the goal to concentrate on what you want?

Exactly! Each family unit should do what works for them. If you both want to work, find a way to make that work for your family. If you'd rather stay home with your kids full time, then as long as both parents are in agreement, you find a way to make that work.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:Stop blowing smoke up my arse trying to claim $275k hhi is just fine and dandy these days. It is not. We are friggin dinks with virtually no debt except our mortgage on a very modest $625k home. We rake in $275k and are super middle class, it’s insane. Right now driving an 8 year old cheap Mazda 3 bought for $20k snd is paid off. I dread the day we need a new car, because a new car payment will place huge strain on our finances. I think we can only afford a Toyota sedan next. You’d think dinks making almost $300k could afford an Audi these days, but nope. Car insurance, home insurance, taxes, groceries……all of it demolishes you. We only take 1 vacation too per year.

Ok, we might tread water, I’ll give you that. But we aren’t THRIVING. I feel like you’ll only thrive on a $500k income these days. And that’s only from a DINK perspective! I dunno how everyone else who is poorer AND has kids survives. You all survive on malk and beans? Who knew the American dream for family people meant a life of brittle bones and cutting coupons, lol. Prices are so outta control. It is bonkers.

Try rolling up your sleeves and doing some actual work instead of outsourcing everything. No doubt you have a housecleaning service, lawn service, and pay contractors for even the simplest of home improvement tasks (e.g., putting on a new roof).

DH and I both work, have two kids, have an HHI of $250K, and have no issues saving 30% of our gross HHI while also setting aside $1K net per month for college savings. We just added a new 1000sqft composite deck, 300sqft screened porch, and 2000sqft of hardscaping and water features in NOVA for only $60K. Contractors wanted $250K for the same.

Don’t be so useless and lazy and you’ll find that $275K is plenty.

Sure Susan. Let me just go replace my roof after watching some YouTube videos, lol. Absolutely nothing could go wrong working on a home repair like that with a bad spine and multiple tons of shingles to haul up 20 feet. And all alone.

I bet allmof the quality of your DIY projects are trash, and you probably violated multiple building codes that will make it difficult to unload your garbage house. Have fun!

+1. Who DIY’s replacing a roof? Her house is probably a patchwork of one crap project after the other.

A person who wants a solar roof installed for the price of a typical, trashy asphalt shingle roof? DH and I only hire contractors for low-level, low-impact projects when we’ve run out of available time. Only so many hours in the day after all. There’s no such thing in our household as hiring a contractor to do something simply because we lack the skill or capability ourselves. Is this even a thing?!? Totally surprised to think this might be true. People can’t just read a book and figure stuff out?

I have the skills to put on a new roof---helped parents while growing up---dad did everything except HVAC. Sure, I can read and figure it out, and I used to when we were young. But now I happily outsource all of that to highly qualified people. It's called contributing to the economy.

My spouse makes close to $500/hour. They are defiantly not interested in spending their free time doing house repairs. So we pay people to do it. It's called prioritizing

Yes, but how much do you make per hour? Sounds like you’re nothing but a freeloading spend-a-lot.

jealous much?

I was making $150K 25+ years ago when we made the joint decision for me to become a SAHP, to kids where the other parent was traveling 2+ weeks per month typically and would get home at 8pm most nights. There is more to contribute to a family than just a paycheck. It works for us, my spouse is quite happy with the arrangement. In reality, why are you bothered by how we spend our money? We have plenty of it.

Not bothered. Just embarrassed for you. I have countless acquaintances that have the option to become a SAHP. The only ones that actually choose this path, however, are those that lack the endurance and self-confidence to succeed as contributing professionals. The acquaintances I consider friends are able to rise above adversity and push through the glass ceiling, where others – much like yourself – repeatedly fail.

it actually takes a lot more endurance and self-confidence to give up a high powered job and career path and choose to stay home with the kids. I have two BS degrees from a T10 university and a MS from a T20 (fully funded with a salary while in school). I was well on a path to high powered job, as making $150K 25+ years ago is equivalent to $250K+ now---was making that at 29. But I CHOSE to stay home with my kids, as that's what I wanted to do. Spouse fully supported me. I do not need to be at a high paying job to define my life as successful. We chose a path that worked best for our family. I have plenty of friends who are SAHP and plenty that are in paid careers. Interestingly, we all support each other despite our different career path.

+10000

Also, I’ll bet before you left the workforce (perhaps temporarily), you also had some savings. What I had saved and invested represents a substantial amount of our net worth. No family assistance financially or physically. We also bought our house a couple months before the housing market crash, so peak prices.

Yes, we had paid off over $80K in student loans, saved 20% for downpayment, saved and purchased a $40K vehicle with cash right before first kid was born. Also saved well for retirement during those years. Bought first house in an "okay" area, schools were decent but not stellar. And we bought on just one income--we could have afforded a house double the value but chose to go reasonable, so that allowed us to continue to save the extra. That was all done in 6 years. We were ultra focused on getting rid of any debt and buying a home that allowed us to still save well.
I worked PT once kids were in school, but very PT at a very flexible job using my 2nd degree and doing something I absolutely loved for 10-15 hours/week. Also managed our finances and investing. Very happy with the choices we made.
Now that we are empty nesters, it means I get to travel with spouse when they go somewhere nice for work. It's nice not having to manage two work schedules. It's my reward for all the 24 hour days for 20+ years with kids at home. I travelled over 6 weeks last year with spouse for work trips.

Interesting that this is the reward for being the primary caretaker for 20 years.

Why? I get to "retire" early and enjoy life with my partner. We don't need me to work for $$$. My partner is getting ready to retire in 2-3 years. We plan to enjoy life.
But you do you and work until 65 or whatever.

Because your "reward" of going on your husband's work trips has nothing to do with being the primary caretaker. It's instead entirely dependent on how much work travel your husband has. If your husband's job didn't have any travel, you wouldn't get to go with him. If you weren't the primary caretaker, you can still retire early and travel with him. You can also work and go with him by either taking leave or working from the travel location.

You being the primary caretaker and being able to enjoy semi free trips are two independent things.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:Stop blowing smoke up my arse trying to claim $275k hhi is just fine and dandy these days. It is not. We are friggin dinks with virtually no debt except our mortgage on a very modest $625k home. We rake in $275k and are super middle class, it’s insane. Right now driving an 8 year old cheap Mazda 3 bought for $20k snd is paid off. I dread the day we need a new car, because a new car payment will place huge strain on our finances. I think we can only afford a Toyota sedan next. You’d think dinks making almost $300k could afford an Audi these days, but nope. Car insurance, home insurance, taxes, groceries……all of it demolishes you. We only take 1 vacation too per year.

Ok, we might tread water, I’ll give you that. But we aren’t THRIVING. I feel like you’ll only thrive on a $500k income these days. And that’s only from a DINK perspective! I dunno how everyone else who is poorer AND has kids survives. You all survive on malk and beans? Who knew the American dream for family people meant a life of brittle bones and cutting coupons, lol. Prices are so outta control. It is bonkers.

Try rolling up your sleeves and doing some actual work instead of outsourcing everything. No doubt you have a housecleaning service, lawn service, and pay contractors for even the simplest of home improvement tasks (e.g., putting on a new roof).

DH and I both work, have two kids, have an HHI of $250K, and have no issues saving 30% of our gross HHI while also setting aside $1K net per month for college savings. We just added a new 1000sqft composite deck, 300sqft screened porch, and 2000sqft of hardscaping and water features in NOVA for only $60K. Contractors wanted $250K for the same.

Don’t be so useless and lazy and you’ll find that $275K is plenty.

Sure Susan. Let me just go replace my roof after watching some YouTube videos, lol. Absolutely nothing could go wrong working on a home repair like that with a bad spine and multiple tons of shingles to haul up 20 feet. And all alone.

I bet allmof the quality of your DIY projects are trash, and you probably violated multiple building codes that will make it difficult to unload your garbage house. Have fun!

+1. Who DIY’s replacing a roof? Her house is probably a patchwork of one crap project after the other.

A person who wants a solar roof installed for the price of a typical, trashy asphalt shingle roof? DH and I only hire contractors for low-level, low-impact projects when we’ve run out of available time. Only so many hours in the day after all. There’s no such thing in our household as hiring a contractor to do something simply because we lack the skill or capability ourselves. Is this even a thing?!? Totally surprised to think this might be true. People can’t just read a book and figure stuff out?

I have the skills to put on a new roof---helped parents while growing up---dad did everything except HVAC. Sure, I can read and figure it out, and I used to when we were young. But now I happily outsource all of that to highly qualified people. It's called contributing to the economy.

My spouse makes close to $500/hour. They are defiantly not interested in spending their free time doing house repairs. So we pay people to do it. It's called prioritizing

Yes, but how much do you make per hour? Sounds like you’re nothing but a freeloading spend-a-lot.

jealous much?

I was making $150K 25+ years ago when we made the joint decision for me to become a SAHP, to kids where the other parent was traveling 2+ weeks per month typically and would get home at 8pm most nights. There is more to contribute to a family than just a paycheck. It works for us, my spouse is quite happy with the arrangement. In reality, why are you bothered by how we spend our money? We have plenty of it.

Not bothered. Just embarrassed for you. I have countless acquaintances that have the option to become a SAHP. The only ones that actually choose this path, however, are those that lack the endurance and self-confidence to succeed as contributing professionals. The acquaintances I consider friends are able to rise above adversity and push through the glass ceiling, where others – much like yourself – repeatedly fail.

it actually takes a lot more endurance and self-confidence to give up a high powered job and career path and choose to stay home with the kids. I have two BS degrees from a T10 university and a MS from a T20 (fully funded with a salary while in school). I was well on a path to high powered job, as making $150K 25+ years ago is equivalent to $250K+ now---was making that at 29. But I CHOSE to stay home with my kids, as that's what I wanted to do. Spouse fully supported me. I do not need to be at a high paying job to define my life as successful. We chose a path that worked best for our family. I have plenty of friends who are SAHP and plenty that are in paid careers. Interestingly, we all support each other despite our different career path.

+10000

Also, I’ll bet before you left the workforce (perhaps temporarily), you also had some savings. What I had saved and invested represents a substantial amount of our net worth. No family assistance financially or physically. We also bought our house a couple months before the housing market crash, so peak prices.

Yes, we had paid off over $80K in student loans, saved 20% for downpayment, saved and purchased a $40K vehicle with cash right before first kid was born. Also saved well for retirement during those years. Bought first house in an "okay" area, schools were decent but not stellar. And we bought on just one income--we could have afforded a house double the value but chose to go reasonable, so that allowed us to continue to save the extra. That was all done in 6 years. We were ultra focused on getting rid of any debt and buying a home that allowed us to still save well.
I worked PT once kids were in school, but very PT at a very flexible job using my 2nd degree and doing something I absolutely loved for 10-15 hours/week. Also managed our finances and investing. Very happy with the choices we made.
Now that we are empty nesters, it means I get to travel with spouse when they go somewhere nice for work. It's nice not having to manage two work schedules. It's my reward for all the 24 hour days for 20+ years with kids at home. I travelled over 6 weeks last year with spouse for work trips.

Interesting that this is the reward for being the primary caretaker for 20 years.

Why? I get to "retire" early and enjoy life with my partner. We don't need me to work for $$$. My partner is getting ready to retire in 2-3 years. We plan to enjoy life.
But you do you and work until 65 or whatever.

Because your "reward" of going on your husband's work trips has nothing to do with being the primary caretaker. It's instead entirely dependent on how much work travel your husband has. If your husband's job didn't have any travel, you wouldn't get to go with him. If you weren't the primary caretaker, you can still retire early and travel with him. You can also work and go with him by either taking leave or working from the travel location.

You being the primary caretaker and being able to enjoy semi free trips are two independent things.

Stop putting others down because you are so bitter about being “poor” and make better life choices. Having money isn’t what makes life rich as you clearly demonstrate with every response.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Stop blowing smoke up my arse trying to claim $275k hhi is just fine and dandy these days. It is not. We are friggin dinks with virtually no debt except our mortgage on a very modest $625k home. We rake in $275k and are super middle class, it’s insane. Right now driving an 8 year old cheap Mazda 3 bought for $20k snd is paid off. I dread the day we need a new car, because a new car payment will place huge strain on our finances. I think we can only afford a Toyota sedan next. You’d think dinks making almost $300k could afford an Audi these days, but nope. Car insurance, home insurance, taxes, groceries……all of it demolishes you. We only take 1 vacation too per year.

Ok, we might tread water, I’ll give you that. But we aren’t THRIVING. I feel like you’ll only thrive on a $500k income these days. And that’s only from a DINK perspective! I dunno how everyone else who is poorer AND has kids survives. You all survive on malk and beans? Who knew the American dream for family people meant a life of brittle bones and cutting coupons, lol. Prices are so outta control. It is bonkers.

Try rolling up your sleeves and doing some actual work instead of outsourcing everything. No doubt you have a housecleaning service, lawn service, and pay contractors for even the simplest of home improvement tasks (e.g., putting on a new roof).

DH and I both work, have two kids, have an HHI of $250K, and have no issues saving 30% of our gross HHI while also setting aside $1K net per month for college savings. We just added a new 1000sqft composite deck, 300sqft screened porch, and 2000sqft of hardscaping and water features in NOVA for only $60K. Contractors wanted $250K for the same.

Don’t be so useless and lazy and you’ll find that $275K is plenty.

Sure Susan. Let me just go replace my roof after watching some YouTube videos, lol. Absolutely nothing could go wrong working on a home repair like that with a bad spine and multiple tons of shingles to haul up 20 feet. And all alone.

I bet allmof the quality of your DIY projects are trash, and you probably violated multiple building codes that will make it difficult to unload your garbage house. Have fun!

+1. Who DIY’s replacing a roof? Her house is probably a patchwork of one crap project after the other.

A person who wants a solar roof installed for the price of a typical, trashy asphalt shingle roof? DH and I only hire contractors for low-level, low-impact projects when we’ve run out of available time. Only so many hours in the day after all. There’s no such thing in our household as hiring a contractor to do something simply because we lack the skill or capability ourselves. Is this even a thing?!? Totally surprised to think this might be true. People can’t just read a book and figure stuff out?

I have the skills to put on a new roof---helped parents while growing up---dad did everything except HVAC. Sure, I can read and figure it out, and I used to when we were young. But now I happily outsource all of that to highly qualified people. It's called contributing to the economy.

My spouse makes close to $500/hour. They are defiantly not interested in spending their free time doing house repairs. So we pay people to do it. It's called prioritizing

Yes, but how much do you make per hour? Sounds like you’re nothing but a freeloading spend-a-lot.

jealous much?

I was making $150K 25+ years ago when we made the joint decision for me to become a SAHP, to kids where the other parent was traveling 2+ weeks per month typically and would get home at 8pm most nights. There is more to contribute to a family than just a paycheck. It works for us, my spouse is quite happy with the arrangement. In reality, why are you bothered by how we spend our money? We have plenty of it.

Not bothered. Just embarrassed for you. I have countless acquaintances that have the option to become a SAHP. The only ones that actually choose this path, however, are those that lack the endurance and self-confidence to succeed as contributing professionals. The acquaintances I consider friends are able to rise above adversity and push through the glass ceiling, where others – much like yourself – repeatedly fail.

it actually takes a lot more endurance and self-confidence to give up a high powered job and career path and choose to stay home with the kids. I have two BS degrees from a T10 university and a MS from a T20 (fully funded with a salary while in school). I was well on a path to high powered job, as making $150K 25+ years ago is equivalent to $250K+ now---was making that at 29. But I CHOSE to stay home with my kids, as that's what I wanted to do. Spouse fully supported me. I do not need to be at a high paying job to define my life as successful. We chose a path that worked best for our family. I have plenty of friends who are SAHP and plenty that are in paid careers. Interestingly, we all support each other despite our different career path.

+10000

Also, I’ll bet before you left the workforce (perhaps temporarily), you also had some savings. What I had saved and invested represents a substantial amount of our net worth. No family assistance financially or physically. We also bought our house a couple months before the housing market crash, so peak prices.

Yes, we had paid off over $80K in student loans, saved 20% for downpayment, saved and purchased a $40K vehicle with cash right before first kid was born. Also saved well for retirement during those years. Bought first house in an "okay" area, schools were decent but not stellar. And we bought on just one income--we could have afforded a house double the value but chose to go reasonable, so that allowed us to continue to save the extra. That was all done in 6 years. We were ultra focused on getting rid of any debt and buying a home that allowed us to still save well.
I worked PT once kids were in school, but very PT at a very flexible job using my 2nd degree and doing something I absolutely loved for 10-15 hours/week. Also managed our finances and investing. Very happy with the choices we made.
Now that we are empty nesters, it means I get to travel with spouse when they go somewhere nice for work. It's nice not having to manage two work schedules. It's my reward for all the 24 hour days for 20+ years with kids at home. I travelled over 6 weeks last year with spouse for work trips.

Interesting that this is the reward for being the primary caretaker for 20 years.

Why? I get to "retire" early and enjoy life with my partner. We don't need me to work for $$$. My partner is getting ready to retire in 2-3 years. We plan to enjoy life.
But you do you and work until 65 or whatever.

Because your "reward" of going on your husband's work trips has nothing to do with being the primary caretaker. It's instead entirely dependent on how much work travel your husband has. If your husband's job didn't have any travel, you wouldn't get to go with him. If you weren't the primary caretaker, you can still retire early and travel with him. You can also work and go with him by either taking leave or working from the travel location.

You being the primary caretaker and being able to enjoy semi free trips are two independent things.

Stop putting others down because you are so bitter about being “poor” and make better life choices. Having money isn’t what makes life rich as you clearly demonstrate with every response.

The only person putting anyone down is you for calling me bitter. But you're so right. I'm bitter because I can't be a SAHP for 20 years and then finally take a trip because I'm a DINK and can afford to do it already.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I can’t imagine how rich I would feel at $275k and no kids.

You’re doing something wrong if you feel poor.

same! we have one kid and HHI of 125k and feel comfortable. I mean no luxuries, etc. but if we had 275 I think we'd be doing a happy dance.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Stop blowing smoke up my arse trying to claim $275k hhi is just fine and dandy these days. It is not. We are friggin dinks with virtually no debt except our mortgage on a very modest $625k home. We rake in $275k and are super middle class, it’s insane. Right now driving an 8 year old cheap Mazda 3 bought for $20k snd is paid off. I dread the day we need a new car, because a new car payment will place huge strain on our finances. I think we can only afford a Toyota sedan next. You’d think dinks making almost $300k could afford an Audi these days, but nope. Car insurance, home insurance, taxes, groceries……all of it demolishes you. We only take 1 vacation too per year.

Ok, we might tread water, I’ll give you that. But we aren’t THRIVING. I feel like you’ll only thrive on a $500k income these days. And that’s only from a DINK perspective! I dunno how everyone else who is poorer AND has kids survives. You all survive on malk and beans? Who knew the American dream for family people meant a life of brittle bones and cutting coupons, lol. Prices are so outta control. It is bonkers.

Try rolling up your sleeves and doing some actual work instead of outsourcing everything. No doubt you have a housecleaning service, lawn service, and pay contractors for even the simplest of home improvement tasks (e.g., putting on a new roof).

DH and I both work, have two kids, have an HHI of $250K, and have no issues saving 30% of our gross HHI while also setting aside $1K net per month for college savings. We just added a new 1000sqft composite deck, 300sqft screened porch, and 2000sqft of hardscaping and water features in NOVA for only $60K. Contractors wanted $250K for the same.

Don’t be so useless and lazy and you’ll find that $275K is plenty.

Sure Susan. Let me just go replace my roof after watching some YouTube videos, lol. Absolutely nothing could go wrong working on a home repair like that with a bad spine and multiple tons of shingles to haul up 20 feet. And all alone.

I bet allmof the quality of your DIY projects are trash, and you probably violated multiple building codes that will make it difficult to unload your garbage house. Have fun!

+1. Who DIY’s replacing a roof? Her house is probably a patchwork of one crap project after the other.

A person who wants a solar roof installed for the price of a typical, trashy asphalt shingle roof? DH and I only hire contractors for low-level, low-impact projects when we’ve run out of available time. Only so many hours in the day after all. There’s no such thing in our household as hiring a contractor to do something simply because we lack the skill or capability ourselves. Is this even a thing?!? Totally surprised to think this might be true. People can’t just read a book and figure stuff out?

I have the skills to put on a new roof---helped parents while growing up---dad did everything except HVAC. Sure, I can read and figure it out, and I used to when we were young. But now I happily outsource all of that to highly qualified people. It's called contributing to the economy.

My spouse makes close to $500/hour. They are defiantly not interested in spending their free time doing house repairs. So we pay people to do it. It's called prioritizing

Yes, but how much do you make per hour? Sounds like you’re nothing but a freeloading spend-a-lot.

jealous much?

I was making $150K 25+ years ago when we made the joint decision for me to become a SAHP, to kids where the other parent was traveling 2+ weeks per month typically and would get home at 8pm most nights. There is more to contribute to a family than just a paycheck. It works for us, my spouse is quite happy with the arrangement. In reality, why are you bothered by how we spend our money? We have plenty of it.

Not bothered. Just embarrassed for you. I have countless acquaintances that have the option to become a SAHP. The only ones that actually choose this path, however, are those that lack the endurance and self-confidence to succeed as contributing professionals. The acquaintances I consider friends are able to rise above adversity and push through the glass ceiling, where others – much like yourself – repeatedly fail.

it actually takes a lot more endurance and self-confidence to give up a high powered job and career path and choose to stay home with the kids. I have two BS degrees from a T10 university and a MS from a T20 (fully funded with a salary while in school). I was well on a path to high powered job, as making $150K 25+ years ago is equivalent to $250K+ now---was making that at 29. But I CHOSE to stay home with my kids, as that's what I wanted to do. Spouse fully supported me. I do not need to be at a high paying job to define my life as successful. We chose a path that worked best for our family. I have plenty of friends who are SAHP and plenty that are in paid careers. Interestingly, we all support each other despite our different career path.

+10000

Also, I’ll bet before you left the workforce (perhaps temporarily), you also had some savings. What I had saved and invested represents a substantial amount of our net worth. No family assistance financially or physically. We also bought our house a couple months before the housing market crash, so peak prices.

Yes, we had paid off over $80K in student loans, saved 20% for downpayment, saved and purchased a $40K vehicle with cash right before first kid was born. Also saved well for retirement during those years. Bought first house in an "okay" area, schools were decent but not stellar. And we bought on just one income--we could have afforded a house double the value but chose to go reasonable, so that allowed us to continue to save the extra. That was all done in 6 years. We were ultra focused on getting rid of any debt and buying a home that allowed us to still save well.
I worked PT once kids were in school, but very PT at a very flexible job using my 2nd degree and doing something I absolutely loved for 10-15 hours/week. Also managed our finances and investing. Very happy with the choices we made.
Now that we are empty nesters, it means I get to travel with spouse when they go somewhere nice for work. It's nice not having to manage two work schedules. It's my reward for all the 24 hour days for 20+ years with kids at home. I travelled over 6 weeks last year with spouse for work trips.

Interesting that this is the reward for being the primary caretaker for 20 years.

Why? I get to "retire" early and enjoy life with my partner. We don't need me to work for $$$. My partner is getting ready to retire in 2-3 years. We plan to enjoy life.
But you do you and work until 65 or whatever.

Because your "reward" of going on your husband's work trips has nothing to do with being the primary caretaker. It's instead entirely dependent on how much work travel your husband has. If your husband's job didn't have any travel, you wouldn't get to go with him. If you weren't the primary caretaker, you can still retire early and travel with him. You can also work and go with him by either taking leave or working from the travel location.

You being the primary caretaker and being able to enjoy semi free trips are two independent things.

Stop putting others down because you are so bitter about being “poor” and make better life choices. Having money isn’t what makes life rich as you clearly demonstrate with every response.

The only person putting anyone down is you for calling me bitter. But you're so right. I'm bitter because I can't be a SAHP for 20 years and then finally take a trip because I'm a DINK and can afford to do it already.

So why are you claiming to be poor?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Stop blowing smoke up my arse trying to claim $275k hhi is just fine and dandy these days. It is not. We are friggin dinks with virtually no debt except our mortgage on a very modest $625k home. We rake in $275k and are super middle class, it’s insane. Right now driving an 8 year old cheap Mazda 3 bought for $20k snd is paid off. I dread the day we need a new car, because a new car payment will place huge strain on our finances. I think we can only afford a Toyota sedan next. You’d think dinks making almost $300k could afford an Audi these days, but nope. Car insurance, home insurance, taxes, groceries……all of it demolishes you. We only take 1 vacation too per year.

Ok, we might tread water, I’ll give you that. But we aren’t THRIVING. I feel like you’ll only thrive on a $500k income these days. And that’s only from a DINK perspective! I dunno how everyone else who is poorer AND has kids survives. You all survive on malk and beans? Who knew the American dream for family people meant a life of brittle bones and cutting coupons, lol. Prices are so outta control. It is bonkers.

Try rolling up your sleeves and doing some actual work instead of outsourcing everything. No doubt you have a housecleaning service, lawn service, and pay contractors for even the simplest of home improvement tasks (e.g., putting on a new roof).

DH and I both work, have two kids, have an HHI of $250K, and have no issues saving 30% of our gross HHI while also setting aside $1K net per month for college savings. We just added a new 1000sqft composite deck, 300sqft screened porch, and 2000sqft of hardscaping and water features in NOVA for only $60K. Contractors wanted $250K for the same.

Don’t be so useless and lazy and you’ll find that $275K is plenty.

Sure Susan. Let me just go replace my roof after watching some YouTube videos, lol. Absolutely nothing could go wrong working on a home repair like that with a bad spine and multiple tons of shingles to haul up 20 feet. And all alone.

I bet allmof the quality of your DIY projects are trash, and you probably violated multiple building codes that will make it difficult to unload your garbage house. Have fun!

+1. Who DIY’s replacing a roof? Her house is probably a patchwork of one crap project after the other.

A person who wants a solar roof installed for the price of a typical, trashy asphalt shingle roof? DH and I only hire contractors for low-level, low-impact projects when we’ve run out of available time. Only so many hours in the day after all. There’s no such thing in our household as hiring a contractor to do something simply because we lack the skill or capability ourselves. Is this even a thing?!? Totally surprised to think this might be true. People can’t just read a book and figure stuff out?

I have the skills to put on a new roof---helped parents while growing up---dad did everything except HVAC. Sure, I can read and figure it out, and I used to when we were young. But now I happily outsource all of that to highly qualified people. It's called contributing to the economy.

My spouse makes close to $500/hour. They are defiantly not interested in spending their free time doing house repairs. So we pay people to do it. It's called prioritizing

Yes, but how much do you make per hour? Sounds like you’re nothing but a freeloading spend-a-lot.

jealous much?

I was making $150K 25+ years ago when we made the joint decision for me to become a SAHP, to kids where the other parent was traveling 2+ weeks per month typically and would get home at 8pm most nights. There is more to contribute to a family than just a paycheck. It works for us, my spouse is quite happy with the arrangement. In reality, why are you bothered by how we spend our money? We have plenty of it.

Not bothered. Just embarrassed for you. I have countless acquaintances that have the option to become a SAHP. The only ones that actually choose this path, however, are those that lack the endurance and self-confidence to succeed as contributing professionals. The acquaintances I consider friends are able to rise above adversity and push through the glass ceiling, where others – much like yourself – repeatedly fail.

it actually takes a lot more endurance and self-confidence to give up a high powered job and career path and choose to stay home with the kids. I have two BS degrees from a T10 university and a MS from a T20 (fully funded with a salary while in school). I was well on a path to high powered job, as making $150K 25+ years ago is equivalent to $250K+ now---was making that at 29. But I CHOSE to stay home with my kids, as that's what I wanted to do. Spouse fully supported me. I do not need to be at a high paying job to define my life as successful. We chose a path that worked best for our family. I have plenty of friends who are SAHP and plenty that are in paid careers. Interestingly, we all support each other despite our different career path.

+10000

Also, I’ll bet before you left the workforce (perhaps temporarily), you also had some savings. What I had saved and invested represents a substantial amount of our net worth. No family assistance financially or physically. We also bought our house a couple months before the housing market crash, so peak prices.

Yes, we had paid off over $80K in student loans, saved 20% for downpayment, saved and purchased a $40K vehicle with cash right before first kid was born. Also saved well for retirement during those years. Bought first house in an "okay" area, schools were decent but not stellar. And we bought on just one income--we could have afforded a house double the value but chose to go reasonable, so that allowed us to continue to save the extra. That was all done in 6 years. We were ultra focused on getting rid of any debt and buying a home that allowed us to still save well.
I worked PT once kids were in school, but very PT at a very flexible job using my 2nd degree and doing something I absolutely loved for 10-15 hours/week. Also managed our finances and investing. Very happy with the choices we made.
Now that we are empty nesters, it means I get to travel with spouse when they go somewhere nice for work. It's nice not having to manage two work schedules. It's my reward for all the 24 hour days for 20+ years with kids at home. I travelled over 6 weeks last year with spouse for work trips.

Interesting that this is the reward for being the primary caretaker for 20 years.

Why? I get to "retire" early and enjoy life with my partner. We don't need me to work for $$$. My partner is getting ready to retire in 2-3 years. We plan to enjoy life.
But you do you and work until 65 or whatever.

Because your "reward" of going on your husband's work trips has nothing to do with being the primary caretaker. It's instead entirely dependent on how much work travel your husband has. If your husband's job didn't have any travel, you wouldn't get to go with him. If you weren't the primary caretaker, you can still retire early and travel with him. You can also work and go with him by either taking leave or working from the travel location.

You being the primary caretaker and being able to enjoy semi free trips are two independent things.

Stop putting others down because you are so bitter about being “poor” and make better life choices. Having money isn’t what makes life rich as you clearly demonstrate with every response.

The only person putting anyone down is you for calling me bitter. But you're so right. I'm bitter because I can't be a SAHP for 20 years and then finally take a trip because I'm a DINK and can afford to do it already.

So why are you claiming to be poor?

I think you're confusing me with OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Stop blowing smoke up my arse trying to claim $275k hhi is just fine and dandy these days. It is not. We are friggin dinks with virtually no debt except our mortgage on a very modest $625k home. We rake in $275k and are super middle class, it’s insane. Right now driving an 8 year old cheap Mazda 3 bought for $20k snd is paid off. I dread the day we need a new car, because a new car payment will place huge strain on our finances. I think we can only afford a Toyota sedan next. You’d think dinks making almost $300k could afford an Audi these days, but nope. Car insurance, home insurance, taxes, groceries……all of it demolishes you. We only take 1 vacation too per year.

Ok, we might tread water, I’ll give you that. But we aren’t THRIVING. I feel like you’ll only thrive on a $500k income these days. And that’s only from a DINK perspective! I dunno how everyone else who is poorer AND has kids survives. You all survive on malk and beans? Who knew the American dream for family people meant a life of brittle bones and cutting coupons, lol. Prices are so outta control. It is bonkers.

Try rolling up your sleeves and doing some actual work instead of outsourcing everything. No doubt you have a housecleaning service, lawn service, and pay contractors for even the simplest of home improvement tasks (e.g., putting on a new roof).

DH and I both work, have two kids, have an HHI of $250K, and have no issues saving 30% of our gross HHI while also setting aside $1K net per month for college savings. We just added a new 1000sqft composite deck, 300sqft screened porch, and 2000sqft of hardscaping and water features in NOVA for only $60K. Contractors wanted $250K for the same.

Don’t be so useless and lazy and you’ll find that $275K is plenty.

Sure Susan. Let me just go replace my roof after watching some YouTube videos, lol. Absolutely nothing could go wrong working on a home repair like that with a bad spine and multiple tons of shingles to haul up 20 feet. And all alone.

I bet allmof the quality of your DIY projects are trash, and you probably violated multiple building codes that will make it difficult to unload your garbage house. Have fun!

+1. Who DIY’s replacing a roof? Her house is probably a patchwork of one crap project after the other.

A person who wants a solar roof installed for the price of a typical, trashy asphalt shingle roof? DH and I only hire contractors for low-level, low-impact projects when we’ve run out of available time. Only so many hours in the day after all. There’s no such thing in our household as hiring a contractor to do something simply because we lack the skill or capability ourselves. Is this even a thing?!? Totally surprised to think this might be true. People can’t just read a book and figure stuff out?

I have the skills to put on a new roof---helped parents while growing up---dad did everything except HVAC. Sure, I can read and figure it out, and I used to when we were young. But now I happily outsource all of that to highly qualified people. It's called contributing to the economy.

My spouse makes close to $500/hour. They are defiantly not interested in spending their free time doing house repairs. So we pay people to do it. It's called prioritizing

Yes, but how much do you make per hour? Sounds like you’re nothing but a freeloading spend-a-lot.

jealous much?

I was making $150K 25+ years ago when we made the joint decision for me to become a SAHP, to kids where the other parent was traveling 2+ weeks per month typically and would get home at 8pm most nights. There is more to contribute to a family than just a paycheck. It works for us, my spouse is quite happy with the arrangement. In reality, why are you bothered by how we spend our money? We have plenty of it.

Not bothered. Just embarrassed for you. I have countless acquaintances that have the option to become a SAHP. The only ones that actually choose this path, however, are those that lack the endurance and self-confidence to succeed as contributing professionals. The acquaintances I consider friends are able to rise above adversity and push through the glass ceiling, where others – much like yourself – repeatedly fail.

it actually takes a lot more endurance and self-confidence to give up a high powered job and career path and choose to stay home with the kids. I have two BS degrees from a T10 university and a MS from a T20 (fully funded with a salary while in school). I was well on a path to high powered job, as making $150K 25+ years ago is equivalent to $250K+ now---was making that at 29. But I CHOSE to stay home with my kids, as that's what I wanted to do. Spouse fully supported me. I do not need to be at a high paying job to define my life as successful. We chose a path that worked best for our family. I have plenty of friends who are SAHP and plenty that are in paid careers. Interestingly, we all support each other despite our different career path.

+10000

Also, I’ll bet before you left the workforce (perhaps temporarily), you also had some savings. What I had saved and invested represents a substantial amount of our net worth. No family assistance financially or physically. We also bought our house a couple months before the housing market crash, so peak prices.

Yes, we had paid off over $80K in student loans, saved 20% for downpayment, saved and purchased a $40K vehicle with cash right before first kid was born. Also saved well for retirement during those years. Bought first house in an "okay" area, schools were decent but not stellar. And we bought on just one income--we could have afforded a house double the value but chose to go reasonable, so that allowed us to continue to save the extra. That was all done in 6 years. We were ultra focused on getting rid of any debt and buying a home that allowed us to still save well.
I worked PT once kids were in school, but very PT at a very flexible job using my 2nd degree and doing something I absolutely loved for 10-15 hours/week. Also managed our finances and investing. Very happy with the choices we made.
Now that we are empty nesters, it means I get to travel with spouse when they go somewhere nice for work. It's nice not having to manage two work schedules. It's my reward for all the 24 hour days for 20+ years with kids at home. I travelled over 6 weeks last year with spouse for work trips.

Interesting that this is the reward for being the primary caretaker for 20 years.

Why? I get to "retire" early and enjoy life with my partner. We don't need me to work for $$$. My partner is getting ready to retire in 2-3 years. We plan to enjoy life.
But you do you and work until 65 or whatever.

Because your "reward" of going on your husband's work trips has nothing to do with being the primary caretaker. It's instead entirely dependent on how much work travel your husband has. If your husband's job didn't have any travel, you wouldn't get to go with him. If you weren't the primary caretaker, you can still retire early and travel with him. You can also work and go with him by either taking leave or working from the travel location.

You being the primary caretaker and being able to enjoy semi free trips are two independent things.

Stop putting others down because you are so bitter about being “poor” and make better life choices. Having money isn’t what makes life rich as you clearly demonstrate with every response.

The only person putting anyone down is you for calling me bitter. But you're so right. I'm bitter because I can't be a SAHP for 20 years and then finally take a trip because I'm a DINK and can afford to do it already.

So why are you claiming to be poor?

I think you're confusing me with OP.

Sock puppet

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Stop blowing smoke up my arse trying to claim $275k hhi is just fine and dandy these days. It is not. We are friggin dinks with virtually no debt except our mortgage on a very modest $625k home. We rake in $275k and are super middle class, it’s insane. Right now driving an 8 year old cheap Mazda 3 bought for $20k snd is paid off. I dread the day we need a new car, because a new car payment will place huge strain on our finances. I think we can only afford a Toyota sedan next. You’d think dinks making almost $300k could afford an Audi these days, but nope. Car insurance, home insurance, taxes, groceries……all of it demolishes you. We only take 1 vacation too per year.

Ok, we might tread water, I’ll give you that. But we aren’t THRIVING. I feel like you’ll only thrive on a $500k income these days. And that’s only from a DINK perspective! I dunno how everyone else who is poorer AND has kids survives. You all survive on malk and beans? Who knew the American dream for family people meant a life of brittle bones and cutting coupons, lol. Prices are so outta control. It is bonkers.

Try rolling up your sleeves and doing some actual work instead of outsourcing everything. No doubt you have a housecleaning service, lawn service, and pay contractors for even the simplest of home improvement tasks (e.g., putting on a new roof).

DH and I both work, have two kids, have an HHI of $250K, and have no issues saving 30% of our gross HHI while also setting aside $1K net per month for college savings. We just added a new 1000sqft composite deck, 300sqft screened porch, and 2000sqft of hardscaping and water features in NOVA for only $60K. Contractors wanted $250K for the same.

Don’t be so useless and lazy and you’ll find that $275K is plenty.

Sure Susan. Let me just go replace my roof after watching some YouTube videos, lol. Absolutely nothing could go wrong working on a home repair like that with a bad spine and multiple tons of shingles to haul up 20 feet. And all alone.

I bet allmof the quality of your DIY projects are trash, and you probably violated multiple building codes that will make it difficult to unload your garbage house. Have fun!

+1. Who DIY’s replacing a roof? Her house is probably a patchwork of one crap project after the other.

A person who wants a solar roof installed for the price of a typical, trashy asphalt shingle roof? DH and I only hire contractors for low-level, low-impact projects when we’ve run out of available time. Only so many hours in the day after all. There’s no such thing in our household as hiring a contractor to do something simply because we lack the skill or capability ourselves. Is this even a thing?!? Totally surprised to think this might be true. People can’t just read a book and figure stuff out?

I have the skills to put on a new roof---helped parents while growing up---dad did everything except HVAC. Sure, I can read and figure it out, and I used to when we were young. But now I happily outsource all of that to highly qualified people. It's called contributing to the economy.

My spouse makes close to $500/hour. They are defiantly not interested in spending their free time doing house repairs. So we pay people to do it. It's called prioritizing

Yes, but how much do you make per hour? Sounds like you’re nothing but a freeloading spend-a-lot.

jealous much?

I was making $150K 25+ years ago when we made the joint decision for me to become a SAHP, to kids where the other parent was traveling 2+ weeks per month typically and would get home at 8pm most nights. There is more to contribute to a family than just a paycheck. It works for us, my spouse is quite happy with the arrangement. In reality, why are you bothered by how we spend our money? We have plenty of it.

Not bothered. Just embarrassed for you. I have countless acquaintances that have the option to become a SAHP. The only ones that actually choose this path, however, are those that lack the endurance and self-confidence to succeed as contributing professionals. The acquaintances I consider friends are able to rise above adversity and push through the glass ceiling, where others – much like yourself – repeatedly fail.

Someone sounds like they have serious self esteem issues when they need to waste time picking on other for having more money and more choices.

Quite right! This is typical of most SAHPs. Struggling to make ends meet on a single income, but lacking the skills, intellect, and options to do anything about it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Stop blowing smoke up my arse trying to claim $275k hhi is just fine and dandy these days. It is not. We are friggin dinks with virtually no debt except our mortgage on a very modest $625k home. We rake in $275k and are super middle class, it’s insane. Right now driving an 8 year old cheap Mazda 3 bought for $20k snd is paid off. I dread the day we need a new car, because a new car payment will place huge strain on our finances. I think we can only afford a Toyota sedan next. You’d think dinks making almost $300k could afford an Audi these days, but nope. Car insurance, home insurance, taxes, groceries……all of it demolishes you. We only take 1 vacation too per year.

Ok, we might tread water, I’ll give you that. But we aren’t THRIVING. I feel like you’ll only thrive on a $500k income these days. And that’s only from a DINK perspective! I dunno how everyone else who is poorer AND has kids survives. You all survive on malk and beans? Who knew the American dream for family people meant a life of brittle bones and cutting coupons, lol. Prices are so outta control. It is bonkers.

Try rolling up your sleeves and doing some actual work instead of outsourcing everything. No doubt you have a housecleaning service, lawn service, and pay contractors for even the simplest of home improvement tasks (e.g., putting on a new roof).

DH and I both work, have two kids, have an HHI of $250K, and have no issues saving 30% of our gross HHI while also setting aside $1K net per month for college savings. We just added a new 1000sqft composite deck, 300sqft screened porch, and 2000sqft of hardscaping and water features in NOVA for only $60K. Contractors wanted $250K for the same.

Don’t be so useless and lazy and you’ll find that $275K is plenty.

Sure Susan. Let me just go replace my roof after watching some YouTube videos, lol. Absolutely nothing could go wrong working on a home repair like that with a bad spine and multiple tons of shingles to haul up 20 feet. And all alone.

I bet allmof the quality of your DIY projects are trash, and you probably violated multiple building codes that will make it difficult to unload your garbage house. Have fun!

+1. Who DIY’s replacing a roof? Her house is probably a patchwork of one crap project after the other.

A person who wants a solar roof installed for the price of a typical, trashy asphalt shingle roof? DH and I only hire contractors for low-level, low-impact projects when we’ve run out of available time. Only so many hours in the day after all. There’s no such thing in our household as hiring a contractor to do something simply because we lack the skill or capability ourselves. Is this even a thing?!? Totally surprised to think this might be true. People can’t just read a book and figure stuff out?

I have the skills to put on a new roof---helped parents while growing up---dad did everything except HVAC. Sure, I can read and figure it out, and I used to when we were young. But now I happily outsource all of that to highly qualified people. It's called contributing to the economy.

My spouse makes close to $500/hour. They are defiantly not interested in spending their free time doing house repairs. So we pay people to do it. It's called prioritizing

Yes, but how much do you make per hour? Sounds like you’re nothing but a freeloading spend-a-lot.

jealous much?

I was making $150K 25+ years ago when we made the joint decision for me to become a SAHP, to kids where the other parent was traveling 2+ weeks per month typically and would get home at 8pm most nights. There is more to contribute to a family than just a paycheck. It works for us, my spouse is quite happy with the arrangement. In reality, why are you bothered by how we spend our money? We have plenty of it.

Not bothered. Just embarrassed for you. I have countless acquaintances that have the option to become a SAHP. The only ones that actually choose this path, however, are those that lack the endurance and self-confidence to succeed as contributing professionals. The acquaintances I consider friends are able to rise above adversity and push through the glass ceiling, where others – much like yourself – repeatedly fail.

get over yourself - not everyone values the same things in life. (not PP).

Agreed. Some people – like me – value investing in hard work, contributing to society, promoting education, and empowering overall health and happiness to all. Others – such as yourself, perhaps – value cutting corners, bending the rules, stealing from children, and raping society’s unbridled innocence. To each his own.

GMAFB. Making money is not in and of itself a crime. Sorry about the chip on your shoulder. Earning less does not automatically render you morally superior. I’m not the PP and know plenty of people who make good money doing good work that improves the world. That’s actually most of my close friends.

No, but earning more and being more successful and being better educated and raising more capable children renders me infinitely superior.