Any other moms out just not order when you eat with your family?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How can OPs family have large appetites such that there is hardly any food left for OP yet OP is concerned about "waste"? OP doesn't make a lot of sense which is what people are reacting to. Oh, and also OP just seems extremely cheap. Stop eating out so much if you can't afford it and it puts a crimp in the grocery budget.

Op - there are many repliers on this thread.
There is always more than enough food left for me and I dont wait to eat it - I just rarely choose what I would naturally order bc the kids are permanently in denial that they won’t eat anything.

Maybe it’s cheap but if I save $600 in a year that way, imagine I put it on nvidia in 2022 (which I did) - it turns into many thousands.

I just truly am uncomfortable with throwing money away when I know everyone will have enough. If we wouldn’t then I wouldn’t do it

You keep changing what you are saying.

If you're asking if other people share meals with their kids, then yes, that's super common. That's completely different from what you described in your OP.

op - it's somewhere in between. i do not order what i order if i go out with my husband alone. bc i know they wont finish theirs. but i also like to let them order what they want to eat, and then i say 'i will have some of yours' and they say 'no, i will eat it all' and i say 'you will not eat it all' and they have varying levels of openness to this fact. then usually the food comes and they still insist that they are SO HUNGRY and will eat all of it, but they never ever do. they barely finish half.
I was just wondering if other moms have the same experience - did NOT mean to start such a debate!
also we live in nyc and kids meals are few and far between here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, why don’t you order what you want, tell the kids they don’t get to choose/order, and that they are expected to eat from whatever scraps you don’t eat after you’ve finished? See how bad that sounds?

Her kids aren’t ordering her to eat their scraps. She is choosing to do so because that’s what she prefers to do. So your scenario is in no way comparable.

It is shocking how triggered some people are at the thought of just waiting to eat the food that you know is going to be left. I think ya’ll are projecting your own weird issues around food onto OP.

“I don’t need anything. I will just have your leftovers.” Is classic covert narcissist behavior. And there is always a very weird dance going on between the husband and wife when one is a covert narcissist.

How is that narcissistic? Not everything is narcissism. Sometimes people just don’t like food waste. Have you googled narcissism?

NP here.
No, I get what that pp is saying, because my husband does a variation of it.
The server will ask if we want desser and I say "Yes, I'd like the cheesecake" and he says "No, I'll just have some of hers" (meaning mine)

WTH? No. I don't like the assumption that I'm willing to share the cheesecake (especially he always ends up eating most of it.)
The last time he did that (told the server he'd just have some of my dessert) I promptly asked the server to please bring me a slice of cheesecake AND a creme brulee.

this is off topic, but no grown adult really needs to eat an entire slice of cake to themselves. that is just unhealthy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm really curious how the server reacts when you are sitting at a restaurant and don't order food?

who cares?
also lots of ppl share food.

[Anonymous]

When we are buying takeout to eat at home, my husband will often not order anything. Instead he will eat random leftovers. He is very frugal.

When we go out and dine at the restaurant, he does order something because I think he would feel odd not ordering. But he doesn't like it- he would never spend money on eating out if left to his own devices.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Wow I can’t believe OP is still come back and defending this weirdness. It’s a free country! No one can make you order a meal (well actually I guess the restaurant manager could give you the choice of doing that or leaving but they won’t realistically). But it’s a really ridiculous choice. You already said your family finds you weird and cheap. I still remember an older cousin doing this while out to eat with our family doing and eating her toddler’s scraps when I was like 8 so a good 30 years ago. My mom was SO humiliated and tried not to show but leaving a huge tip to try to compensate. It’s weird and awkward for everyone else but it sounds like you prefer that to wasting any food at all (or eating it later, which I really can’t understand either). I posted earlier that I really think you should stop going to restaurants and I still feel that way. It sounds like you’re miserable and making everyone else uncomfortable.

where was it said that op's family feels uncomfortable?

[Anonymous]

You know the kind of people who when their two adult children come home to visit with their two spouses and six kids total, think that 8 bagels are plenty for brunch? (Two bagel per family, everyone gets 1/3-1/2 a bagel which should be PLENTY because in this family we are FRUGAL and do not WASTE FOOD.) The only sound during the brunch is the scrape-scrape of the butter knife adding slivers of margarine in infinitesimal amounts to the family bagel thin.

The next and final meal is dinner, served at 7:30 pm despite 75% of the family being under the age of 5. It's 1 chicken drumstick each, a smattering of peas, and half a Grand's Biscuit that was previously baked and frozen and has just been defrosted for this special occasion. Dessert is freezer burned ice cream sandwiches from last summer even though we are well into march by now.

Anyway, now we know what these people do when they go out to eat.

[Anonymous]

i think people are triggered maybe because they feel somehow attacked by someone saving money in this way or feeling like food waste is 'wrong'.

not over ordering is very european. Americans have much larger portions and less anxiety overall about food waste. i think american culture is very defensive over the idea that you should be able to eat whatever you want/ eat large amounts, but in a lot of cultures having leftover food at the end of the meal is poor planning.

in most places in europe, they'd look at you aghast if you asked for food in a doggy bag. it's just not done there. bc their portions are much smaller to begin with and it's just culturally different.

it's reasonable for someone to feel uncomfortable spending money on food that they dont need to eat during that meal. and also reasonable for someone to prefer to know they are getting what they want. restaurants have become very expensive and typically portion sizes ARE too large.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You know the kind of people who when their two adult children come home to visit with their two spouses and six kids total, think that 8 bagels are plenty for brunch? (Two bagel per family, everyone gets 1/3-1/2 a bagel which should be PLENTY because in this family we are FRUGAL and do not WASTE FOOD.) The only sound during the brunch is the scrape-scrape of the butter knife adding slivers of margarine in infinitesimal amounts to the family bagel thin.

The next and final meal is dinner, served at 7:30 pm despite 75% of the family being under the age of 5. It's 1 chicken drumstick each, a smattering of peas, and half a Grand's Biscuit that was previously baked and frozen and has just been defrosted for this special occasion. Dessert is freezer burned ice cream sandwiches from last summer even though we are well into march by now.

Anyway, now we know what these people do when they go out to eat.

sounds like you have beef with one very specific individual and maybe should just not go to their house any more?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, why don’t you order what you want, tell the kids they don’t get to choose/order, and that they are expected to eat from whatever scraps you don’t eat after you’ve finished? See how bad that sounds?

Her kids aren’t ordering her to eat their scraps. She is choosing to do so because that’s what she prefers to do. So your scenario is in no way comparable.

It is shocking how triggered some people are at the thought of just waiting to eat the food that you know is going to be left. I think ya’ll are projecting your own weird issues around food onto OP.

“I don’t need anything. I will just have your leftovers.” Is classic covert narcissist behavior. And there is always a very weird dance going on between the husband and wife when one is a covert narcissist.

How is that narcissistic? Not everything is narcissism. Sometimes people just don’t like food waste. Have you googled narcissism?

NP here.
No, I get what that pp is saying, because my husband does a variation of it.
The server will ask if we want desser and I say "Yes, I'd like the cheesecake" and he says "No, I'll just have some of hers" (meaning mine)

WTH? No. I don't like the assumption that I'm willing to share the cheesecake (especially he always ends up eating most of it.)
The last time he did that (told the server he'd just have some of my dessert) I promptly asked the server to please bring me a slice of cheesecake AND a creme brulee.

this is off topic, but no grown adult really needs to eat an entire slice of cake to themselves. that is just unhealthy.

what?? So much disordered eating. It is fine for an adult to have a freaking SLICE OF CAKE once in awhile. It is probably more unhealthy to be so obsessed with food/weight/diet that you truly think it is unhealthy to have one slice of cake.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How can OPs family have large appetites such that there is hardly any food left for OP yet OP is concerned about "waste"? OP doesn't make a lot of sense which is what people are reacting to. Oh, and also OP just seems extremely cheap. Stop eating out so much if you can't afford it and it puts a crimp in the grocery budget.

Op - there are many repliers on this thread.
There is always more than enough food left for me and I dont wait to eat it - I just rarely choose what I would naturally order bc the kids are permanently in denial that they won’t eat anything.

Maybe it’s cheap but if I save $600 in a year that way, imagine I put it on nvidia in 2022 (which I did) - it turns into many thousands.

I just truly am uncomfortable with throwing money away when I know everyone will have enough. If we wouldn’t then I wouldn’t do it

You keep changing what you are saying.

If you're asking if other people share meals with their kids, then yes, that's super common. That's completely different from what you described in your OP.

op - it's somewhere in between. i do not order what i order if i go out with my husband alone. bc i know they wont finish theirs. but i also like to let them order what they want to eat, and then i say 'i will have some of yours' and they say 'no, i will eat it all' and i say 'you will not eat it all' and they have varying levels of openness to this fact. then usually the food comes and they still insist that they are SO HUNGRY and will eat all of it, but they never ever do. they barely finish half.
I was just wondering if other moms have the same experience - did NOT mean to start such a debate!
also we live in nyc and kids meals are few and far between here.

Ok now we are getting a fuller picture. You are one of these Bethenny Frankel types who insists you eat all things, whatever you want, but in reality you just take a few bites of things and are fortunate that you have a good metabolism and your appetite doesn’t betray you and make you actually as hungry as the average person.

I think your kids are communicating loud and clear that they don’t want you having some of their food. You are blowing past their boundaries and imposing your desire to not order for yourself upon them, which they saying, but you’re pretty much taking away any agency they have. It’s one thing not to order. It’s another thing to entitle yourself to someone else’s food, even if they are not going to finish it in one sitting.

Separately, the poster who insists that no adult should ever eat a full piece of cake is ridiculous. No one else is saying eating a piece of cake weekly is so healthy. But different adults have different bodies and appetites and if a piece of cake were such a gargantuan issue, don’t you think nearly every country would cut the slices differently? But they don’t. Also, not everyone is obsessed with eating only healthy foods 100 percent of the time. Some people greatly enjoy cake to celebrate a birthday. If there is no room in your life for occasional cake, that is your prerogative but to insist that no one may eat a piece of cake is pretty wild. Are we allowed a whole slice of pie on Thanksgiving? Or just a bite?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If you get the free bread sticks, I'm sure you could make a cross out of them.

This is one of my favorite comments, ever.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How can OPs family have large appetites such that there is hardly any food left for OP yet OP is concerned about "waste"? OP doesn't make a lot of sense which is what people are reacting to. Oh, and also OP just seems extremely cheap. Stop eating out so much if you can't afford it and it puts a crimp in the grocery budget.

Op - there are many repliers on this thread.
There is always more than enough food left for me and I dont wait to eat it - I just rarely choose what I would naturally order bc the kids are permanently in denial that they won’t eat anything.

Maybe it’s cheap but if I save $600 in a year that way, imagine I put it on nvidia in 2022 (which I did) - it turns into many thousands.

I just truly am uncomfortable with throwing money away when I know everyone will have enough. If we wouldn’t then I wouldn’t do it

You keep changing what you are saying.

If you're asking if other people share meals with their kids, then yes, that's super common. That's completely different from what you described in your OP.

op - it's somewhere in between. i do not order what i order if i go out with my husband alone. bc i know they wont finish theirs. but i also like to let them order what they want to eat, and then i say 'i will have some of yours' and they say 'no, i will eat it all' and i say 'you will not eat it all' and they have varying levels of openness to this fact. then usually the food comes and they still insist that they are SO HUNGRY and will eat all of it, but they never ever do. they barely finish half.
I was just wondering if other moms have the same experience - did NOT mean to start such a debate!
also we live in nyc and kids meals are few and far between here.

Ok now we are getting a fuller picture. You are one of these Bethenny Frankel types who insists you eat all things, whatever you want, but in reality you just take a few bites of things and are fortunate that you have a good metabolism and your appetite doesn’t betray you and make you actually as hungry as the average person.

I think your kids are communicating loud and clear that they don’t want you having some of their food. You are blowing past their boundaries and imposing your desire to not order for yourself upon them, which they saying, but you’re pretty much taking away any agency they have. It’s one thing not to order. It’s another thing to entitle yourself to someone else’s food, even if they are not going to finish it in one sitting.

Separately, the poster who insists that no adult should ever eat a full piece of cake is ridiculous. No one else is saying eating a piece of cake weekly is so healthy. But different adults have different bodies and appetites and if a piece of cake were such a gargantuan issue, don’t you think nearly every country would cut the slices differently? But they don’t. Also, not everyone is obsessed with eating only healthy foods 100 percent of the time. Some people greatly enjoy cake to celebrate a birthday. If there is no room in your life for occasional cake, that is your prerogative but to insist that no one may eat a piece of cake is pretty wild. Are we allowed a whole slice of pie on Thanksgiving? Or just a bite?

ok so every time a small child insists something, an adult has to acquiesce because 'boundaries'?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You know the kind of people who when their two adult children come home to visit with their two spouses and six kids total, think that 8 bagels are plenty for brunch? (Two bagel per family, everyone gets 1/3-1/2 a bagel which should be PLENTY because in this family we are FRUGAL and do not WASTE FOOD.) The only sound during the brunch is the scrape-scrape of the butter knife adding slivers of margarine in infinitesimal amounts to the family bagel thin.

The next and final meal is dinner, served at 7:30 pm despite 75% of the family being under the age of 5. It's 1 chicken drumstick each, a smattering of peas, and half a Grand's Biscuit that was previously baked and frozen and has just been defrosted for this special occasion. Dessert is freezer burned ice cream sandwiches from last summer even though we are well into march by now.

Anyway, now we know what these people do when they go out to eat.

sounds like you have beef with one very specific individual and maybe should just not go to their house any more?

This is very common - there have been multiple threads in family relationships about older relatives who do not provide enough food when someone visits.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You know the kind of people who when their two adult children come home to visit with their two spouses and six kids total, think that 8 bagels are plenty for brunch? (Two bagel per family, everyone gets 1/3-1/2 a bagel which should be PLENTY because in this family we are FRUGAL and do not WASTE FOOD.) The only sound during the brunch is the scrape-scrape of the butter knife adding slivers of margarine in infinitesimal amounts to the family bagel thin.

The next and final meal is dinner, served at 7:30 pm despite 75% of the family being under the age of 5. It's 1 chicken drumstick each, a smattering of peas, and half a Grand's Biscuit that was previously baked and frozen and has just been defrosted for this special occasion. Dessert is freezer burned ice cream sandwiches from last summer even though we are well into march by now.

Anyway, now we know what these people do when they go out to eat.

sounds like you have beef with one very specific individual and maybe should just not go to their house any more?

This is very common - there have been multiple threads in family relationships about older relatives who do not provide enough food when someone visits.

right but you mention very specific circs and seem really mad about it.

[Anonymous]

Woah. This thread really brought out the nutcases.