What parts of your life/lifestyle are unapproved by DCUM standards?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If there is one person in the world who exemplifies all that DCUM holds dear, it is Katie Ledecky. Multiple gold medals, National Merit Scholar, Stone Ridge and Stanford, etc. Kind, classy, not flashy. Father is a Harvard/Yale educated biglaw attorney.

So true!

Also brother is a Harvard MBA

This is not a knock against Katie, but her appearance is just everything I imagine DCUM's to approve of. Not overweight, very fit (obviously). Simple haircut. Clean look. Her style seems to be preppy, modest (but not weird), muted, classic, simple. Makeup, but very natural look. No visible logos. Straight teeth. Simple jewelry.

Family lives in Bethesda. House is spacious, but not gaudy. Brick colonial. (My parents live a few blocks away, don't judge.) I'm sure it is very classy and clean on the inside.

Even her and her brother's names exemplify the DCUM dream: Katie and Michael. Simple. "Classic."

She's an ug-o

Thumbs down

How many Olympic medals do you have?

That's not the burn you think it is

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Approved: I think am pretty and dress kind of preppy. I am a 13th generation American, which is the kind of bullshit DCUM loves.

Unapproved: Chubby rn and unemployed so I'm a little cash poor.

Oh, sorry, I thought we were supposed to give one of each and I now see you were just asking for unapproved. Not reading the thread is unapproved and so are veiled brags, which my approved part sounds like :/

You’ve hit some sort of trifecta here

[Anonymous]

I would not let my son buy a toy in Target.
He said he would scream the F word if I did not let him buy the toy.
I did not
He screamed the F word
We walked away and I never punished him.

My son was standing in a cart
I said sit down or it will tip
He did not sit down
It tipped
I did not help him up
(A woman literally ran over and said what is wrong with you, I said, "guess he won't stand up again")
I picked up the cart and the food that fell out and walked away and my son just walked behind me.
We never spoke of it, no punishment, no told you so... just continued on.

I have many more.

[Anonymous]

I have a cat which is not cool by DCUM standards. If I were a true DCUM mom I would have a goldendoodle named something like "Koda" or "Piper" depending on its gender but I am lame and have a cat. I talk to her in a baby voice.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would not let my son buy a toy in Target.
He said he would scream the F word if I did not let him buy the toy.
I did not
He screamed the F word
We walked away and I never punished him.

My son was standing in a cart
I said sit down or it will tip
He did not sit down
It tipped
I did not help him up
(A woman literally ran over and said what is wrong with you, I said, "guess he won't stand up again")
I picked up the cart and the food that fell out and walked away and my son just walked behind me.
We never spoke of it, no punishment, no told you so... just continued on.

I have many more.

This is poetry

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would not let my son buy a toy in Target.
He said he would scream the F word if I did not let him buy the toy.
I did not
He screamed the F word
We walked away and I never punished him.

My son was standing in a cart
I said sit down or it will tip
He did not sit down
It tipped
I did not help him up
(A woman literally ran over and said what is wrong with you, I said, "guess he won't stand up again")
I picked up the cart and the food that fell out and walked away and my son just walked behind me.
We never spoke of it, no punishment, no told you so... just continued on.

I have many more.

I mean I’d make sure my kid was physically ok if they fell out of a shopping cart. But otherwise I’m in agreement with you about practical consequences.

Your kid learned the F word doesn’t get him what he wants. And if he does something to get hurt, then he has to deal with the pain.

I’m not one for intricate punishment rules. I have friends who lord the iPad over their kid for any and all infractions, which just makes their kids salivate over it. I guess it’s effective in getting them to do what the parent wants in the short term, but the kid’s motivation is screentime, nothing intrinsic to why they need to follow XYZ rule.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would not let my son buy a toy in Target.
He said he would scream the F word if I did not let him buy the toy.
I did not
He screamed the F word
We walked away and I never punished him.

My son was standing in a cart
I said sit down or it will tip
He did not sit down
It tipped
I did not help him up
(A woman literally ran over and said what is wrong with you, I said, "guess he won't stand up again")
I picked up the cart and the food that fell out and walked away and my son just walked behind me.
We never spoke of it, no punishment, no told you so... just continued on.

I have many more.

Why did you format this like it's the "First the Nazis came for the Jews and I did not say anything because I was not a Jew" poem lmfao.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have a cat which is not cool by DCUM standards. If I were a true DCUM mom I would have a goldendoodle named something like "Koda" or "Piper" depending on its gender but I am lame and have a cat. I talk to her in a baby voice.

Same. And I won’t apologize for it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would not let my son buy a toy in Target.
He said he would scream the F word if I did not let him buy the toy.
I did not
He screamed the F word
We walked away and I never punished him.

My son was standing in a cart
I said sit down or it will tip
He did not sit down
It tipped
I did not help him up
(A woman literally ran over and said what is wrong with you, I said, "guess he won't stand up again")
I picked up the cart and the food that fell out and walked away and my son just walked behind me.
We never spoke of it, no punishment, no told you so... just continued on.

I have many more.

Why did you format this like it's the "First the Nazis came for the Jews and I did not say anything because I was not a Jew" poem lmfao.

First they came for the DCUM posters who were chubby
And I did not speak out
Because I was not chubby
Then they came from the DCUM posters who weren't married to Big Law partners
And I did not speak out
Because I was married to a Big Law partner
Then they came for the DCUM posters who let their kid scream in Target
And there was no one left
To speak out for me

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have a cat which is not cool by DCUM standards. If I were a true DCUM mom I would have a goldendoodle named something like "Koda" or "Piper" depending on its gender but I am lame and have a cat. I talk to her in a baby voice.

Same. And I won’t apologize for it.

I typically don't either but I was just thinking about it because I am sitting on my bed and right as I posted it my cat jumped on my bed and meowed and I said "Are you mama's silly little goose? You're mommy's silly little goose!" And I was like man, DCUM would roast the f out of me for that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would not let my son buy a toy in Target.
He said he would scream the F word if I did not let him buy the toy.
I did not
He screamed the F word
We walked away and I never punished him.

My son was standing in a cart
I said sit down or it will tip
He did not sit down
It tipped
I did not help him up
(A woman literally ran over and said what is wrong with you, I said, "guess he won't stand up again")
I picked up the cart and the food that fell out and walked away and my son just walked behind me.
We never spoke of it, no punishment, no told you so... just continued on.

I have many more.

Why did you format this like it's the "First the Nazis came for the Jews and I did not say anything because I was not a Jew" poem lmfao.

First they came for the DCUM posters who were chubby
And I did not speak out
Because I was not chubby
Then they came from the DCUM posters who weren't married to Big Law partners
And I did not speak out
Because I was married to a Big Law partner
Then they came for the DCUM posters who let their kid scream in Target
And there was no one left
To speak out for me

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm currently 140 pounds, mostly a pooch from drinking, and I could've married a guy who was in big law but I didn't.

But DCUM taught me that when you accept a job in biglaw, you sign a document saying your wife must be a size 2. Size 0 if it's Vault 20.

Oh, I was a size 0 or 2 when I dated him! He was 5'4", balding (we were in our late 20s), and none of my friends thought he was handsome but he was making $300k at 29 and I thought he was sexy as hell, because he was really smart and funny. Sadly, he was also kind of an ahole so we parted ways after six months.

Then how did you "almost" get married if you broke up?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm currently 140 pounds, mostly a pooch from drinking, and I could've married a guy who was in big law but I didn't.

But DCUM taught me that when you accept a job in biglaw, you sign a document saying your wife must be a size 2. Size 0 if it's Vault 20.

Oh, I was a size 0 or 2 when I dated him! He was 5'4", balding (we were in our late 20s), and none of my friends thought he was handsome but he was making $300k at 29 and I thought he was sexy as hell, because he was really smart and funny. Sadly, he was also kind of an ahole so we parted ways after six months.

Then how did you "almost" get married if you broke up?

Oh, he told me pretty early on, like within the first month of dating, that he was going to marry me. I was exactly what he wanted in a wife, I was the only person he wanted to be the mother of his children, I made him want to be a better person. He was in love with me and I actually loved him back but once he got comfy he got snarky and I couldn't deal with that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Unvaccinated and I loathed masks and any and all nonsense Covid restrictions. Was against the bs from March 2020.

I'm a nurse who worked in hospital at the height of Covid and I roll my eyes whenever I read a DCUM proclaiming this kind of stuff with pride. Like they were ahead of the curve/knew it wasn't a "big deal" while my co-workers and I were dealing with the consequences at work.

You were allowed out in public. You weren't stockpiling sleeping pills because you couldn't handle the isolation. You'd rather I kill myself than risk spreading covid. GFY.

If that is the case, you have issues outside of Covid lady.

[Anonymous]

I get annoyed with customer service people when I can tell they're being lazy, largely because I used to work in customer service. I am not afraid to call them out on it, which I suppose makes me a Karen.