Tell an opinion you have that is in the strong minority

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There is no "WOHM mafia," you are deeply delusional about that. What an odd statement to make.

Here on DCUM there certainly is. This thread is a perfect example of it. I have never heard/read such seriously hateful and ignorant comments regarding SAHMs. I thought the mommy wars were long over, but I guess some WOHMs feel differently.

No, there's really not. If you see working moms, heaven forbid, defending themselves, it's because of ridiculous accusations like "You outsource raising your kids" and "You value material comforts over spending time with your family." That's patently wrong. Also I would guess given the higher incomes in this area that the majority of moms work so you're also insulting a very large group of people. But I promise there is no WORKING MOMS BAT-SIGNAL.

Are you in DC? Maybe go smoke some legal weed and chill out for a bit.

You do realize it was the WOHM troll(s) who started this entire thing by calling SAHMs "lazy," right? Do you really expect the SAHMs not to defend themselves? None of this would have even happened had the insults not been hurled FIRST by the WMs. It's very clear you haven't read the entire thread. Maybe do that next time before you jump in with your false assumptions.

I've read the whole thread and to me there's a big difference between someone saying SAHM's are lazy vs all the vitriol you've thrown at all the working moms.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The way I see it, there are two types of SAHMs. Those that have to because their salary will not cover childcare and those who are lucky enough to be in a financial situation that allows them to stay home.

To the latter I say, embrace your choice and recognize this is a luxury. If I could check out of the daily 9-5 grind I would in a heartbeat. Of course what you do is difficult, most people realize caring for kids is hard, which is why we pay people to do it. It's just that being a working parent is more difficult and it's okay to accept that you wanted a less difficult path. As a SAHM, you will never have to worry about backup care on a snow day, getting out of a meeting because you have a sick child, prepping dinners/lunches the night before, grocery shopping on a lunch break, etc.

FWIW, many of my SAHM friends seem to have less tolerance for stress. I think being a working mom makes you better organized and more able to handle unexpected situations because you have to be. What kills me is when SAHMs post about needing more respect and how what they do is hard when the rest of us think gee how nice it would be to not have to balance my work life and kid's schedule. And when you make comments about "outsourcing" our kids, it comes off as sanctimonious because the whole reason you get to SAH is because of someone else's hard work to pay your bills.

FWIW, we all make the easier choice in life at times. I chose a lesser paying government attorney job than my friends who went into big law. I was blessed with no student loans, so I was able to make that choice. Never in a million years would I gripe to my big law friends about how stressful my job is when it pales in comparison to theirs.

So basically I say to SAHMs, just rock your decision and acknowledge it is a luxury not some huge sacrifice. And don't throw it in the face of working moms and expect us to fawn over what a martyr you are.

As soon as WOHMs rock their decision and acknowledge that they really are NOT with their kids most of the day. There isn't necessarily anything wrong with that - doesn't mean you're not bonded or have a great relationship. But don't act like being away all day long is EXACTLY the same as being home all day.

do you homeschool? how are your kids home all day?

They are young. One is home all day. One is in preschool 3 morning a week. And one is in K.

You probably don't remember this because you were at work (sorry - couldn't resist), but your children were very little at one point and weren't in school for 6 hrs/day.

Sorry wrong - my child was in an orphanage at that point. Your kids will be in school before you know it.

Couldn't resist that one, could you? Martyr, much?

When someone accuses me of not remembering my child's babyhood - yes I need to point out that in fact she wasn't with me at the time. I am not sure how adopting makes me a martyr. That must be your warped perspective.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The way I see it, there are two types of SAHMs. Those that have to because their salary will not cover childcare and those who are lucky enough to be in a financial situation that allows them to stay home.

To the latter I say, embrace your choice and recognize this is a luxury. If I could check out of the daily 9-5 grind I would in a heartbeat. Of course what you do is difficult, most people realize caring for kids is hard, which is why we pay people to do it. It's just that being a working parent is more difficult and it's okay to accept that you wanted a less difficult path. As a SAHM, you will never have to worry about backup care on a snow day, getting out of a meeting because you have a sick child, prepping dinners/lunches the night before, grocery shopping on a lunch break, etc.

FWIW, many of my SAHM friends seem to have less tolerance for stress. I think being a working mom makes you better organized and more able to handle unexpected situations because you have to be. What kills me is when SAHMs post about needing more respect and how what they do is hard when the rest of us think gee how nice it would be to not have to balance my work life and kid's schedule. And when you make comments about "outsourcing" our kids, it comes off as sanctimonious because the whole reason you get to SAH is because of someone else's hard work to pay your bills.

FWIW, we all make the easier choice in life at times. I chose a lesser paying government attorney job than my friends who went into big law. I was blessed with no student loans, so I was able to make that choice. Never in a million years would I gripe to my big law friends about how stressful my job is when it pales in comparison to theirs.

So basically I say to SAHMs, just rock your decision and acknowledge it is a luxury not some huge sacrifice. And don't throw it in the face of working moms and expect us to fawn over what a martyr you are.

As soon as WOHMs rock their decision and acknowledge that they really are NOT with their kids most of the day. There isn't necessarily anything wrong with that - doesn't mean you're not bonded or have a great relationship. But don't act like being away all day long is EXACTLY the same as being home all day.

Who the Hell wants to be with kids all day? SAHM's don't even want to be with their kids all day.

[Anonymous]

I made the comments about SAHMs wanting to be fawned over. Maybe it's not true of a lot of the moms on this forum, but where I'm from in the south there are a lot of SAHMs who think they're practically saints.

This is based on my facebook newsfeed of SAHMs in small town Georgia who pretty much got married and started popping out kids the second they graduated college. I think a lot of them SAH because they do not have the earning potential to pay for childcare, but I seriously crack up at the fact they post 10x a day on Facebook about going to the park, play date, whatever with their kid. They have no other interests or life. And then they post "odes to SAHMs" about needing to be appreciated for all their selfless hard work doing laundry, cooking, taking care of boo boos all day, etc.

I have no problem with people deciding to SAH, but then expecting to be thanked and worshipped as a woman because you did the same crap I manage to do as a working mom (except I'm also a full time attorney) just makes me think these women are lazy and pathetic. Not to mention their constant posts back and forth about how being as SAH "mommy" is the highest calling! Clearly they are trying to make jabs at anyone who has the audacity to achieve a career.

I have the feeling these SAHMs in the south are much different than a lot of the SAHMs in DC area who likely had careers at one point and may return to the workforce. But dear lord, I can't take one more obnoxious former sorority girl turned housewife post about how "hard" and "busy" her life is!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There is no "WOHM mafia," you are deeply delusional about that. What an odd statement to make.

Here on DCUM there certainly is. This thread is a perfect example of it. I have never heard/read such seriously hateful and ignorant comments regarding SAHMs. I thought the mommy wars were long over, but I guess some WOHMs feel differently.

No, there's really not. If you see working moms, heaven forbid, defending themselves, it's because of ridiculous accusations like "You outsource raising your kids" and "You value material comforts over spending time with your family." That's patently wrong. Also I would guess given the higher incomes in this area that the majority of moms work so you're also insulting a very large group of people. But I promise there is no WORKING MOMS BAT-SIGNAL.

Are you in DC? Maybe go smoke some legal weed and chill out for a bit.

Then please explain who is raising your toddler when you are working 10+ hours a day

And people keep saying SAHM are playing nice!

Why should they when so far, on this thread alone, they've been called "lazy, living off their husband's paycheck (???), and no better than a McDonald's employee"? Please do explain why SAHMs should "play nice" after having been called ignorant and uneducated? Do everyone a favor and READ THE ENTIRE THREAD.

I can only speak for myself, but I don't believe in holding my kids to higher standards than I have for myself, and one of the things I'm trying to teach my kids is that "you can only control you" -- meaning that except in matters of ensuring immediate physical safety, just because someone else 'starts something', such as being rude or insulting, that does not make it necessary or acceptable for them to respond in kind.

It is unnecessary, unproductive, and inappropriate to respond to insults with... more insults against the other guy. ALL that does is create pointless arguments. Either ignore, or defend yourself diplomatically. That is nearly always possible, and the one who can do that and maintain a gracefully polite attitude in the face of nastiness without sinking to the other person's level will almost always come out looking better and can feel better knowing that they, at least, came out of the situation with as much of their dignity as possible intact. The person hurling insults usually does more to make others think badly of them than of the person they are insulting, especially if the person being insulted handles it well.

Because people decided to let themselves behave badly by posting rude comments in response to the poor behavior of the other person who posted something insulting, this thread got hijacked from its original point and now the only thing being discussed is a pointless, circular, unending cycle of "I'm better than you." Boring, annoying, inappropriate, and unworthy of even our children let alone supposed adults.

Come on, people, we can do better. Surely someone has a more interesting and less juvenile contribution to make to this thread to get off of this ridiculous subject.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There is no "WOHM mafia," you are deeply delusional about that. What an odd statement to make.

Here on DCUM there certainly is. This thread is a perfect example of it. I have never heard/read such seriously hateful and ignorant comments regarding SAHMs. I thought the mommy wars were long over, but I guess some WOHMs feel differently.

No, there's really not. If you see working moms, heaven forbid, defending themselves, it's because of ridiculous accusations like "You outsource raising your kids" and "You value material comforts over spending time with your family." That's patently wrong. Also I would guess given the higher incomes in this area that the majority of moms work so you're also insulting a very large group of people. But I promise there is no WORKING MOMS BAT-SIGNAL.

Are you in DC? Maybe go smoke some legal weed and chill out for a bit.

You do realize it was the WOHM troll(s) who started this entire thing by calling SAHMs "lazy," right? Do you really expect the SAHMs not to defend themselves? None of this would have even happened had the insults not been hurled FIRST by the WMs. It's very clear you haven't read the entire thread. Maybe do that next time before you jump in with your false assumptions.

I've read the whole thread and to me there's a big difference between someone saying SAHM's are lazy vs all the vitriol you've thrown at all the working moms.

If you'd really read the entire thread, you would also have seen the remarks about SAHMs wasting their education, their lives, and being no better than a McDonald's worker. Oh yes, also "living off their husband's paycheck," among other gems. Seems funny you don't consider those remarks to be vitriolic.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The way I see it, there are two types of SAHMs. Those that have to because their salary will not cover childcare and those who are lucky enough to be in a financial situation that allows them to stay home.

To the latter I say, embrace your choice and recognize this is a luxury. If I could check out of the daily 9-5 grind I would in a heartbeat. Of course what you do is difficult, most people realize caring for kids is hard, which is why we pay people to do it. It's just that being a working parent is more difficult and it's okay to accept that you wanted a less difficult path. As a SAHM, you will never have to worry about backup care on a snow day, getting out of a meeting because you have a sick child, prepping dinners/lunches the night before, grocery shopping on a lunch break, etc.

FWIW, many of my SAHM friends seem to have less tolerance for stress. I think being a working mom makes you better organized and more able to handle unexpected situations because you have to be. What kills me is when SAHMs post about needing more respect and how what they do is hard when the rest of us think gee how nice it would be to not have to balance my work life and kid's schedule. And when you make comments about "outsourcing" our kids, it comes off as sanctimonious because the whole reason you get to SAH is because of someone else's hard work to pay your bills.

FWIW, we all make the easier choice in life at times. I chose a lesser paying government attorney job than my friends who went into big law. I was blessed with no student loans, so I was able to make that choice. Never in a million years would I gripe to my big law friends about how stressful my job is when it pales in comparison to theirs.

So basically I say to SAHMs, just rock your decision and acknowledge it is a luxury not some huge sacrifice. And don't throw it in the face of working moms and expect us to fawn over what a martyr you are.

As soon as WOHMs rock their decision and acknowledge that they really are NOT with their kids most of the day. There isn't necessarily anything wrong with that - doesn't mean you're not bonded or have a great relationship. But don't act like being away all day long is EXACTLY the same as being home all day.

do you homeschool? how are your kids home all day?

They are young. One is home all day. One is in preschool 3 morning a week. And one is in K.

You probably don't remember this because you were at work (sorry - couldn't resist), but your children were very little at one point and weren't in school for 6 hrs/day.

Sorry wrong - my child was in an orphanage at that point. Your kids will be in school before you know it.

Couldn't resist that one, could you? Martyr, much?

When someone accuses me of not remembering my child's babyhood - yes I need to point out that in fact she wasn't with me at the time. I am not sure how adopting makes me a martyr. That must be your warped perspective.

Ah, just as you and others are accusing SAHMs of being "martyrs"? Gotcha.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I made the comments about SAHMs wanting to be fawned over. Maybe it's not true of a lot of the moms on this forum, but where I'm from in the south there are a lot of SAHMs who think they're practically saints.

This is based on my facebook newsfeed of SAHMs in small town Georgia who pretty much got married and started popping out kids the second they graduated college. I think a lot of them SAH because they do not have the earning potential to pay for childcare, but I seriously crack up at the fact they post 10x a day on Facebook about going to the park, play date, whatever with their kid. They have no other interests or life. And then they post "odes to SAHMs" about needing to be appreciated for all their selfless hard work doing laundry, cooking, taking care of boo boos all day, etc.

I have no problem with people deciding to SAH, but then expecting to be thanked and worshipped as a woman because you did the same crap I manage to do as a working mom (except I'm also a full time attorney) just makes me think these women are lazy and pathetic. Not to mention their constant posts back and forth about how being as SAH "mommy" is the highest calling! Clearly they are trying to make jabs at anyone who has the audacity to achieve a career.

I have the feeling these SAHMs in the south are much different than a lot of the SAHMs in DC area who likely had careers at one point and may return to the workforce. But dear lord, I can't take one more obnoxious former sorority girl turned housewife post about how "hard" and "busy" her life is!

I hear what you're saying, but surely you have to realize the same can be said for all the WMs who go on, ad nauseum, about how they work two jobs compared to SAHMs. To me, it appears these are women who want to be "thanked and worshipped" and treated as martyrs. And on my FB newsfeed, I see post after post of WOHMs talking about how they "managed to do it all" in one day, and how hard it all is. It appears there are certain types of people who enjoy the martyr complex, and they can be found both at home and in the workplace.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The way I see it, there are two types of SAHMs. Those that have to because their salary will not cover childcare and those who are lucky enough to be in a financial situation that allows them to stay home.

To the latter I say, embrace your choice and recognize this is a luxury. If I could check out of the daily 9-5 grind I would in a heartbeat. Of course what you do is difficult, most people realize caring for kids is hard, which is why we pay people to do it. It's just that being a working parent is more difficult and it's okay to accept that you wanted a less difficult path. As a SAHM, you will never have to worry about backup care on a snow day, getting out of a meeting because you have a sick child, prepping dinners/lunches the night before, grocery shopping on a lunch break, etc.

FWIW, many of my SAHM friends seem to have less tolerance for stress. I think being a working mom makes you better organized and more able to handle unexpected situations because you have to be. What kills me is when SAHMs post about needing more respect and how what they do is hard when the rest of us think gee how nice it would be to not have to balance my work life and kid's schedule. And when you make comments about "outsourcing" our kids, it comes off as sanctimonious because the whole reason you get to SAH is because of someone else's hard work to pay your bills.

FWIW, we all make the easier choice in life at times. I chose a lesser paying government attorney job than my friends who went into big law. I was blessed with no student loans, so I was able to make that choice. Never in a million years would I gripe to my big law friends about how stressful my job is when it pales in comparison to theirs.

So basically I say to SAHMs, just rock your decision and acknowledge it is a luxury not some huge sacrifice. And don't throw it in the face of working moms and expect us to fawn over what a martyr you are.

As soon as WOHMs rock their decision and acknowledge that they really are NOT with their kids most of the day. There isn't necessarily anything wrong with that - doesn't mean you're not bonded or have a great relationship. But don't act like being away all day long is EXACTLY the same as being home all day.

do you homeschool? how are your kids home all day?

They are young. One is home all day. One is in preschool 3 morning a week. And one is in K.

You probably don't remember this because you were at work (sorry - couldn't resist), but your children were very little at one point and weren't in school for 6 hrs/day.

Sorry wrong - my child was in an orphanage at that point. Your kids will be in school before you know it.

Couldn't resist that one, could you? Martyr, much?

When someone accuses me of not remembering my child's babyhood - yes I need to point out that in fact she wasn't with me at the time. I am not sure how adopting makes me a martyr. That must be your warped perspective.

Ah, just as you and others are accusing SAHMs of being "martyrs"? Gotcha.

Personally I never said that. But thanks for accusing me.

[Anonymous]

This is PP - I don't see where in this thread SAHMs are acting like martyrs. But they are also not completely blameless in the mean comments on this thread. Both sides are guilty of that. This whole argument is stupid and I'm sorry I even got involved. Over and out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The way I see it, there are two types of SAHMs. Those that have to because their salary will not cover childcare and those who are lucky enough to be in a financial situation that allows them to stay home.

To the latter I say, embrace your choice and recognize this is a luxury. If I could check out of the daily 9-5 grind I would in a heartbeat. Of course what you do is difficult, most people realize caring for kids is hard, which is why we pay people to do it. It's just that being a working parent is more difficult and it's okay to accept that you wanted a less difficult path. As a SAHM, you will never have to worry about backup care on a snow day, getting out of a meeting because you have a sick child, prepping dinners/lunches the night before, grocery shopping on a lunch break, etc.

FWIW, many of my SAHM friends seem to have less tolerance for stress. I think being a working mom makes you better organized and more able to handle unexpected situations because you have to be. What kills me is when SAHMs post about needing more respect and how what they do is hard when the rest of us think gee how nice it would be to not have to balance my work life and kid's schedule. And when you make comments about "outsourcing" our kids, it comes off as sanctimonious because the whole reason you get to SAH is because of someone else's hard work to pay your bills.

FWIW, we all make the easier choice in life at times. I chose a lesser paying government attorney job than my friends who went into big law. I was blessed with no student loans, so I was able to make that choice. Never in a million years would I gripe to my big law friends about how stressful my job is when it pales in comparison to theirs.

So basically I say to SAHMs, just rock your decision and acknowledge it is a luxury not some huge sacrifice. And don't throw it in the face of working moms and expect us to fawn over what a martyr you are.

I am SAHM and I absolutely agree with this. Very well said.

[Anonymous]

Here is an opinion that it is in the minority, especially today. I love snow days! People seem to hate taking days off for them and even more of them seem to hate being at home with their kids. I live them, even more than my kids. I get do much done and my kids have fun doing whatever- playing outside, Legos, board games, etc. It is a beautiful day today and I think we will go out for a walk. God knows our dog needs one.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Here is an opinion that it is in the minority, especially today. I love snow days! People seem to hate taking days off for them and even more of them seem to hate being at home with their kids. I live them, even more than my kids. I get do much done and my kids have fun doing whatever- playing outside, Legos, board games, etc. It is a beautiful day today and I think we will go out for a walk. God knows our dog needs one.

I'm with you. I am always the one hoping for a big snowstorm.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The way I see it, there are two types of SAHMs. Those that have to because their salary will not cover childcare and those who are lucky enough to be in a financial situation that allows them to stay home.

To the latter I say, embrace your choice and recognize this is a luxury. If I could check out of the daily 9-5 grind I would in a heartbeat. Of course what you do is difficult, most people realize caring for kids is hard, which is why we pay people to do it. It's just that being a working parent is more difficult and it's okay to accept that you wanted a less difficult path. As a SAHM, you will never have to worry about backup care on a snow day, getting out of a meeting because you have a sick child, prepping dinners/lunches the night before, grocery shopping on a lunch break, etc.

FWIW, many of my SAHM friends seem to have less tolerance for stress. I think being a working mom makes you better organized and more able to handle unexpected situations because you have to be. What kills me is when SAHMs post about needing more respect and how what they do is hard when the rest of us think gee how nice it would be to not have to balance my work life and kid's schedule. And when you make comments about "outsourcing" our kids, it comes off as sanctimonious because the whole reason you get to SAH is because of someone else's hard work to pay your bills.

FWIW, we all make the easier choice in life at times. I chose a lesser paying government attorney job than my friends who went into big law. I was blessed with no student loans, so I was able to make that choice. Never in a million years would I gripe to my big law friends about how stressful my job is when it pales in comparison to theirs.

So basically I say to SAHMs, just rock your decision and acknowledge it is a luxury not some huge sacrifice. And don't throw it in the face of working moms and expect us to fawn over what a martyr you are.

As soon as WOHMs rock their decision and acknowledge that they really are NOT with their kids most of the day. There isn't necessarily anything wrong with that - doesn't mean you're not bonded or have a great relationship. But don't act like being away all day long is EXACTLY the same as being home all day.

You act like your kids will be home with you forever. They will go to school and then what will you do with you time? Planning to go to work?

What the fuck difference does it make to you what i do with my time???! How is it your business??? Who are you people the fucking time police? Aaarghhh

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The way I see it, there are two types of SAHMs. Those that have to because their salary will not cover childcare and those who are lucky enough to be in a financial situation that allows them to stay home.

To the latter I say, embrace your choice and recognize this is a luxury. If I could check out of the daily 9-5 grind I would in a heartbeat. Of course what you do is difficult, most people realize caring for kids is hard, which is why we pay people to do it. It's just that being a working parent is more difficult and it's okay to accept that you wanted a less difficult path. As a SAHM, you will never have to worry about backup care on a snow day, getting out of a meeting because you have a sick child, prepping dinners/lunches the night before, grocery shopping on a lunch break, etc.

FWIW, many of my SAHM friends seem to have less tolerance for stress. I think being a working mom makes you better organized and more able to handle unexpected situations because you have to be. What kills me is when SAHMs post about needing more respect and how what they do is hard when the rest of us think gee how nice it would be to not have to balance my work life and kid's schedule. And when you make comments about "outsourcing" our kids, it comes off as sanctimonious because the whole reason you get to SAH is because of someone else's hard work to pay your bills.

FWIW, we all make the easier choice in life at times. I chose a lesser paying government attorney job than my friends who went into big law. I was blessed with no student loans, so I was able to make that choice. Never in a million years would I gripe to my big law friends about how stressful my job is when it pales in comparison to theirs.

So basically I say to SAHMs, just rock your decision and acknowledge it is a luxury not some huge sacrifice. And don't throw it in the face of working moms and expect us to fawn over what a martyr you are.

As soon as WOHMs rock their decision and acknowledge that they really are NOT with their kids most of the day. There isn't necessarily anything wrong with that - doesn't mean you're not bonded or have a great relationship. But don't act like being away all day long is EXACTLY the same as being home all day.

You act like your kids will be home with you forever. They will go to school and then what will you do with you time? Planning to go to work?

What the fuck difference does it make to you what i do with my time???! How is it your business??? Who are you people the fucking time police? Aaarghhh

And you don't think the previous comment is at all provocative? That PP seems to have forgotten that children will eventually go to school and WOHMs with school age children aren't exactly missing their whole day with their kids. And WOHMs that don't have a choice about working aren't exactly super excited to be told that they are missing their child's entire day.

Perhaps the other PP should not have responded the way they did - but you really don't see why they might have?