| I'd confront him, not her. |
| after reading through 15 pages i feel sorry for your BIL |
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I don't.
I also don't mind people who process their emotions quickly and directly communicate them (i.e. OP's sister whom OP is throwing under the bus and biasing everyone). Much better than someone who is non-emotional and never says anything. |
Agree with this -- go to him and not in a confrontational manner, just in a "hey, funny seeing you at the x ice cream shop - was that someone you know from your past?" Let him explain. And pry further with him if his response doesn't add up. Don't go ruffling feathers with the wife until you've casually asked him to explain. I'm saying this because, over the years, I've met old flames for lunch and there was nothing irresponsible happening. Once, the spouse of a friend passed us coming out of a lunch place and a day or two later said something like "so, should I not mention I saw you at lunch"? I, of course, explained it was just lunch with an old college friend I hadn't seen in a few years - that there was no secret. |
Do this. |
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Y'all realize it's been about 3 weeks since OP saw her BIL. It's a little late to bring it up to him casually.
OP, any updates on this? |
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This drama sounds so stressful. Family related issues can be so stressful. Help your sister and give her the support she needs when she finds out the truth. Like what to do if she needs a divorce, how to protect herself and kids and be financially stable. Get the best out of the divorce for the sake of the kids, but with limited anger.
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I promised myself that I would always tell my sisters about this kind of thing. I would probably get a PI ASAP to confirm.
She has the right to know that she might be being exposed to disease and she might need to make other decisions based on this. |
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Invite your sister, her husband, and the kids to all go and get ice cream together at that shop.
Yeah OP, where is the update? What did you decide to do, how did BIL/SIL react? |
| Any update OP? |
but it's also weird to be doing this if he has having an affair, especially the part where he sits with a child and his family. |
| Oh yea! He needs to explain that. The behavior does not Sound "kosher". |