How.do you afford private school? Any suggestions?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I could understand giving aid to someone who had a really high hhi that had some catastrophic situation happen to them one year that depleted their savings and it was an ongoing issue, like their house burnt down, supporting older parents, spouse needed organ transplant, and an older step child got into legal trouble. This actually happened at our school to a family at our school a few years ago! So I can understand how someone needing temporary assistance one year or 2. However, schools should have a cut off and firmly state that aid applications will not be accepted from families earning more than $500k. I actually saw a small private school have on its site that it doesn't offer aid to anyone with hhi over $150k.

We have HHI of 600k and get 10% aid at Big 3 with 2dc. SAH. But a chunk of DH's income goes into retirement account automatically. When you account for that and loans, under 500k. Lots of diff situations where aid is appropriate.

I don't want to contribute to tuition assistance for that either!

This thread is really making me rethink my TA support. Do you think all the people helpfully providing you with your assistance shouldn't also have a bang-up retirement?

DH is required to put a big chunk of his income in a retirement account. You cannot access that money before retirement- there are very strict rules. I dont think its fair to penalize us for saving for retirement, esp when DH has no option.

"Fair" under what system?! No one is 'penalized' for saving for retirement; it's something everyone has to address.

The bottom line is you and others seem to think that financial aid is some carefully designed program coming from some far away, government black box. But it's your friends who donate this money so the schools can have economic diversity -- like true middle class!

I'm just appalled that someone like you even considers appyling for aid. Scary. I hope it's not our school.

What are we supposed to do? Is DH supposed to just quit his job? If he did that we would end up getting even more aid and we wouldn't be saving for retirement. You are treating retirement savings as income to us when its not -- we cannot spend it. That's unfair, esp bc we can't change it. I don't understand why people cannot understand this.

I really want to know what school is giving you FA on your income. This school can't be well managed if it is giving someone aid making you level of income.

I think this is a major.major troll. Or they lied like he'll on their application.

[Anonymous]

This whole thread demonstrates how corrupting financial aid can be. It simply invites gaming by those who don't really need the assistance and a complex system is devised to limit the gaming. Beating the more complex system is a challenge that stimulates only the well off bargain hunters; others just give up at the increased complexity.

An FA program raises the sticker price to a level only the very rich or very self-sacrificing can afford, and then the excess they are paying is doled out to whomever tells the best story. Why not just price tuition to what everyone is actually paying divided by the number of students? Much fairer IMO. We are beyond the point in DC where FA is needed for the sake of diversity.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We have a HHI of $300k and pay full private tuition for 2 kids. I would be embarrassed to ask for FA when we can pay the full amount by both working full time, driving older cars, taking cheap vacations, and living in a smaller home with a reasonable mortgage. I can't believe that some of my donations might be going to a family with twice our annual income.

Spread the word. And I would also volunteer
To spearhead a committee to recruit actual "needy" students. Help those kids navigate the FA and application process. Get rid of these disgusting people.

Judgmental.

I absolutely will judge you if you're taking my money while in the top 1% of us incomes.

We are not wealthy. Close to $100,000 goes straight into retirement account. We both have student loans. Right there before we even pay the mortgage we are near $450k. Other people who have HHI at $300k, I bet are not required to stick almost 100k into retirement. Our aid is not much in the $10-15k. You act like we are stealing money when we are not at all.

Which school, and what neighborhood do you live in... We will be applying to big three in a couple years and no way in the world I will pay full freight at a school that supports you for even a penny.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We have a HHI of $300k and pay full private tuition for 2 kids. I would be embarrassed to ask for FA when we can pay the full amount by both working full time, driving older cars, taking cheap vacations, and living in a smaller home with a reasonable mortgage. I can't believe that some of my donations might be going to a family with twice our annual income.

So glad you are embarrassed to apply. Leaves more in the pot for the rest of us. LOL

NP here.

Do you have no sense of shame?

Absolutely. I would be ashamed if I were dancing on the pole at night to pay for private school or only marrying a rich man to finance my lavish lifestyle. Applying for and accepting financial aid? Nope, not an ounce of shame! I'm also not ashamed when I use a coupon to offset the cost of merchandise that I can afford to pay full price for. Why in the heck would I be ashamed of accepting financial aid to pay for a school I can't afford to pay full price to? You all act as if those of us in financial aid actually have the money stuffed under our mattress but refuse to spend it. Or is the real issue that we don't feel undeserving? That's your problem if you look in the mirror and say my kids don't deserve this because I didn't choose a job that pays me enough to drop $30K a year on school. Your problem, not mine. My kids are deserving for of me doing whatever it takes to make it happen including applying for and
Accepting financial aid.

I think the point they were making is that you at $250k are taking money from other parents who make less and nonetheless manage to find the tuition money. It's like starting a GoFundMe and asking your neighbors and friends to pay for your child's education, when they don't make any more than you.

The point is incorrect. If they make less than we do and can afford to full pay then they obviously have discretionary income that I do not. The HHI is irrelevant. The real question should be after you pay all of your mandatory bills how much do you have left over at the end of the month. I have substantially less discretionary income than people who make a lot less than me.

+1000 Even people with high HHIs have high mandatory bills and obligations so that after they pay things like mandatory 401(k), student loans, mortgages, car payments, cleaner, etc., there is not that much left. We also pay my mother's mortgage after my father past away- that takes away from what is reasonably available.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We have a HHI of $300k and pay full private tuition for 2 kids. I would be embarrassed to ask for FA when we can pay the full amount by both working full time, driving older cars, taking cheap vacations, and living in a smaller home with a reasonable mortgage. I can't believe that some of my donations might be going to a family with twice our annual income.

Spread the word. And I would also volunteer
To spearhead a committee to recruit actual "needy" students. Help those kids navigate the FA and application process. Get rid of these disgusting people.

Judgmental.

I absolutely will judge you if you're taking my money while in the top 1% of us incomes.

We are not wealthy. Close to $100,000 goes straight into retirement account. We both have student loans. Right there before we even pay the mortgage we are near $450k. Other people who have HHI at $300k, I bet are not required to stick almost 100k into retirement. Our aid is not much in the $10-15k. You act like we are stealing money when we are not at all.

Which school, and what neighborhood do you live in... We will be applying to big three in a couple years and no way in the world I will pay full freight at a school that supports you for even a penny.

No one is going to post the name of their school. Financial aid is a private matter at each school and people don't discuss finances because it's no one else's business. However, you should assume that all of the so called Big schools handle their financial aid awards in the very same way. Smaller schools don't have the endowment but trust and believe the philosophy on how to award financial aid is pretty much the same across the board.

[Anonymous]

So I should pay more in tuition so you can afford the car you want and people to clean your house?

Sheesh! The self justifications in this thread boggle the mind. Why not just say everyone else is doing it so why shouldn't I?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So I should pay more in tuition so you can afford the car you want and people to clean your house?

Sheesh! The self justifications in this thread boggle the mind. Why not just say everyone else is doing it so why shouldn't I?

Oh, so now we are not supposed to have a cars? I am SAHM -- how am I going to take DC to after-school activities? Why should our car payments not count against the disposable income we have? The aid we get probably doesn't even amount to much more than our car payments -- it's very modest. Are we supposed to stop paying my mom's mortgage and just put her in a retirement home which will be much worse than the house she lives in now? And DH is just supposed to quit his job bc of mandatory retirement contributions. I don't get the hostility. Anyone can apply for aid and the school decides. They know our financial situation and DH's situation.

[Anonymous]

^^If you stay at home why do you have a cleaner? And why should a cleaner count as a necessary expense? How expensive is the car? You could pick up a $5000 beater that would serve just as well for going to school and activities.

Once you go down this FA rabbit hole, there is just no end of hair splitting you could do.

Just charge everyone what what the school needs to cover costs and look to donations to build up the endowment.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So I should pay more in tuition so you can afford the car you want and people to clean your house?

Sheesh! The self justifications in this thread boggle the mind. Why not just say everyone else is doing it so why shouldn't I?

I'm not the one setting the price of tuition. I would love it if the cost was substantially less so that we could afford to pay for it without financial aid. Seems to me the solution for you to not send your kid; then you don't you have to worry about subsidizing anyone else. Oh wait, your kid deserves to go because you can afford it so that solution is pretty harsh. Instead you will just come on DCUMs and bitch about it. Put your money where your mouth is. If you hate it so much, bow out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So I should pay more in tuition so you can afford the car you want and people to clean your house?

Sheesh! The self justifications in this thread boggle the mind. Why not just say everyone else is doing it so why shouldn't I?

Oh, so now we are not supposed to have a cars? I am SAHM -- how am I going to take DC to after-school activities? Why should our car payments not count against the disposable income we have? The aid we get probably doesn't even amount to much more than our car payments -- it's very modest. Are we supposed to stop paying my mom's mortgage and just put her in a retirement home which will be much worse than the house she lives in now? And DH is just supposed to quit his job bc of mandatory retirement contributions. I don't get the hostility. Anyone can apply for aid and the school decides. They know our financial situation and DH's situation.

Car payment? Frugal people pay for inexpensive cars with cash. Cleaners? Frugal people clean their own houses. Big mortgage? You must have thought there were no houses out there for less than $1M. You are really getting into "let them eat cake" territory here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:^^If you stay at home why do you have a cleaner? And why should a cleaner count as a necessary expense? How expensive is the car? You could pick up a $5000 beater that would serve just as well for going to school and activities.

Once you go down this FA rabbit hole, there is just no end of hair splitting you could do.

Just charge everyone what what the school needs to cover costs and look to donations to build up the endowment.

So you think if she got rid of the cleaner then she could afford to full pay? LMAO. And a $5,000 clunker to cart her kids around in? Are you an idiot? Why should she drive her kids around in a car that might not be reliable or meet the current safety standards? Besides, you have no idea what her car payments are. They might not be more than $300 a month. Give me a break.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So I should pay more in tuition so you can afford the car you want and people to clean your house?

Sheesh! The self justifications in this thread boggle the mind. Why not just say everyone else is doing it so why shouldn't I?

Oh, so now we are not supposed to have a cars? I am SAHM -- how am I going to take DC to after-school activities? Why should our car payments not count against the disposable income we have? The aid we get probably doesn't even amount to much more than our car payments -- it's very modest. Are we supposed to stop paying my mom's mortgage and just put her in a retirement home which will be much worse than the house she lives in now? And DH is just supposed to quit his job bc of mandatory retirement contributions. I don't get the hostility. Anyone can apply for aid and the school decides. They know our financial situation and DH's situation.

Car payment? Frugal people pay for inexpensive cars with cash. Cleaners? Frugal people clean their own houses. Big mortgage? You must have thought there were no houses out there for less than $1M. You are really getting into "let them eat cake" territory here.

Her big mortgage payment is probably to offset their tax consequences. I used to have a $1,000 mortgage and after owning the IRS well over $10,000 a year I decided to buy a house with a higher mortgage for the tax write off. If I was going to spend the money I might as well enjoy it. So again while you assume she is ridiculous for having a big mortgage you have no idea what thought process went into her doing so. All you see are the numbers but you don't know the story...and the story matters.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We have a HHI of $300k and pay full private tuition for 2 kids. I would be embarrassed to ask for FA when we can pay the full amount by both working full time, driving older cars, taking cheap vacations, and living in a smaller home with a reasonable mortgage. I can't believe that some of my donations might be going to a family with twice our annual income.

Spread the word. And I would also volunteer
To spearhead a committee to recruit actual "needy" students. Help those kids navigate the FA and application process. Get rid of these disgusting people.

Judgmental.

I absolutely will judge you if you're taking my money while in the top 1% of us incomes.

We are not wealthy. Close to $100,000 goes straight into retirement account. We both have student loans. Right there before we even pay the mortgage we are near $450k. Other people who have HHI at $300k, I bet are not required to stick almost 100k into retirement. Our aid is not much in the $10-15k. You act like we are stealing money when we are not at all.

What kind if retirement account REQUIRES a $100,000 contribution??? You may WANT to put this money away for retirement by choice but it Is not a requirement.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We have a HHI of $300k and pay full private tuition for 2 kids. I would be embarrassed to ask for FA when we can pay the full amount by both working full time, driving older cars, taking cheap vacations, and living in a smaller home with a reasonable mortgage. I can't believe that some of my donations might be going to a family with twice our annual income.

Spread the word. And I would also volunteer
To spearhead a committee to recruit actual "needy" students. Help those kids navigate the FA and application process. Get rid of these disgusting people.

Judgmental.

I absolutely will judge you if you're taking my money while in the top 1% of us incomes.

We are not wealthy. Close to $100,000 goes straight into retirement account. We both have student loans. Right there before we even pay the mortgage we are near $450k. Other people who have HHI at $300k, I bet are not required to stick almost 100k into retirement. Our aid is not much in the $10-15k. You act like we are stealing money when we are not at all.

What kind if retirement account REQUIRES a $100,000 contribution??? You may WANT to put this money away for retirement by choice but it Is not a requirement.

BigLaw.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So I should pay more in tuition so you can afford the car you want and people to clean your house?

Sheesh! The self justifications in this thread boggle the mind. Why not just say everyone else is doing it so why shouldn't I?

Oh, so now we are not supposed to have a cars? I am SAHM -- how am I going to take DC to after-school activities? Why should our car payments not count against the disposable income we have? The aid we get probably doesn't even amount to much more than our car payments -- it's very modest. Are we supposed to stop paying my mom's mortgage and just put her in a retirement home which will be much worse than the house she lives in now? And DH is just supposed to quit his job bc of mandatory retirement contributions. I don't get the hostility. Anyone can apply for aid and the school decides. They know our financial situation and DH's situation.

Car payment? Frugal people pay for inexpensive cars with cash. Cleaners? Frugal people clean their own houses. Big mortgage? You must have thought there were no houses out there for less than $1M. You are really getting into "let them eat cake" territory here.

There are no houses in NW DC in our target area were all $1.2-$1.7. We are on the lower end of that. Hardly a mansion.