Tjhsst is it worth it?
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Anonymous
But not many kids from average/below average schools will attend top 20 colleges. Most will be ecstatic to attend Va Tech or James Madison. Expectation/ambition will be different. |
Anonymous
I'm a pp and a TJ grad who wouldn't allow her children to go. Yes, I ended up at a great college (Stanford), but the cost to my own mental health wasn't worth it. It was extremely stressful to the glib, PP. If you haven't attended you just can't really understand. Even having a kid attend isn't the same thing. There's a very small cohort of grads and some of them are like me and view the decision to attend to be a mistake. And I'm Asian. |
Anonymous
You could have moved back to the base school anytime (in fact many Asian/non-Asian students move to their base schools each semester) unless you were forced to stay against your will. I know how intense the TJ experience can be and I am Asian as well. It almost sounds like well yes I benefited by attending TJ and yes I got into Stanford and further benefited but it was too much work/stress so I don't want that for my kids. Fine, but no one forces kids to take AP/Post-Ap courses and no one forces kids to stay either. Don't imply that attendance or the heavy course load is mandatory. |
Anonymous
Look, if you go back to before TJ existed, you would find the same number of students getting into the top schools. From my class in the early 80's at Madison, we had 2 kids go to MIT, one to RPI, and 6 or so to various Ivys. Also, Air Force and Navy Academies. That is one school. Multiply it by 10 or so, yo have 60 at Ivy's, 20 at MIT, etc. Which is comparable if not better than TJ. |
Anonymous
Madison is not an average or below average high school. |
Anonymous
Can anyone post TJ's "enroll" stats for Ivy's and top colleges? I have seen some "admit" stats but can't seem to find the final enroll number. |
Anonymous
| While I went to a no name school, my husband went to Princeton and we are convinced that sending DS to TJ is yhe best path for him to live our prestigious life. |
Anonymous
I noticed you didn't say you were an alum. Interesting. Parents have strong opinions about TJ. And you are an idiot to think that a student couldn't find themselves pushed into going there. It happens. All. The. Time. The point I am instilling in my children is that ability does not mean they have to do anything. Yes, one could hack it at TJ. But just because they can doesn't mean they should. There are many psycho-social-emotional concerns to keep in mind. But, PP. You do you (and your kids). I'll do mine. |
Anonymous
We have enough "name calling" so I don't think you need to add to the immaturity of some of the postings in these threads. You didn't say anything about being forced to attend. In fact the words you used were "the decision to attend to be a mistake." and didn't say anything about your parents. I certainly do not think forcing a kid to attend TJ against his/her wishes is a good idea. In fact, it's a bad idea. I was also commenting on your statement that you "wouldn't allow her children to go". If forcing a kid to attend is bad, forbidding a kid to attend if he/she wanted to and was accepted is also bad. You can't have it both ways especially after benefiting from the challenging education and unique opportunities offered by TJ. You should have been more clear and should have said something like I attended TJ against my wishes and I do not want that for my kids. That would have been reasonable and more clear. Some people do have strong opinions about TJ because we have enough people disparaging TJ and we certainly do not need TJ grads making disparaging remarks that cannot be considered as thoughtful (Also, try to use complete sentences. I don't know what you mean by "You do you (and your kids)". That one can be misinterpreted.) One would expect more from a TJ grad. |
Anonymous
I actually think you are missing my point. And I'm not name calling anyone, PP. I am making it clear that many, many children find themselves washed up in the sea of expectations and ability and end up at TJ. And many of these kids should not be there because it's not a good fit -- I used myself as an example. I wasn't "forced" by my parents. I was a people pleasing, achieving girl who wanted to make her hard working immigrant parents proud and who didn't have the social and emotional support (because my poor parents just didn't have those resources/knowledge) to guide me in a way that was developmentally appropriate. The amount of work and stress I endured wasn't developmentally appropriate. Many children find themselves doing things they shouldn't because they feel pressure to "achieve" and "make the most of their talents." It's problematic. I saw it constantly in college and graduate school. I even saw it during my early years in the work force. Many people crumble under the weight of those expectations. We would ALL be better served by not binding our children by the results of a placement test or IQ score or whatever. For my kids, I absolutely wouldn't push TJ even though I imagine they could probably land in the pool. I don't see it as developmentally appropriate. There is a small subset of kids for which TJ is an amazing fit. I think the testing/application process scoops up many other children who innately may have the "talent" or "giftedness" but shouldn't be there in the first place. Again, if you haven't gone there or taught there, I don't think you understand. Many parents just don't see it. |
Anonymous
Just went to back to school night. All the teachers said that many kids were pushing themselves much too hard. Once DC is in the TJ mindset, it is difficult to back out. I view my DC going to TJ as one of the worst parenting decisions we ever made. This is senior year, so in a few months it will be over. But if I could go back in time, would have never encouraged DC to take the TJ entrance exam. |
Anonymous
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Oh, PP. Sigh. "You do you (and your kids)" Is slang.
http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=do%20you |
Anonymous
I will just address some of your points to make it easier to follow: I actually think you are missing my point. (I don't think so. You made the blanket statement "I'm a pp and a TJ grad who wouldn't allow her children to go." This certainly comes off as I attended TJ and I am not going to allow my children to attend TJ and the implication is because it's not a "good" place. What you failed to say was you wouldn't let your children attend because you think it's not a good fit. Leaving that last part out makes TJ into a terrible place people wouldn't send their kids for education.) And I'm not name calling anyone, PP. (In fact, you did: "you are an idiot to think that".) I am making it clear that many, many children find themselves washed up in the sea of expectations and ability and end up at TJ. (You certainly didn't make that clear with your previous postings and now you want to change your tune once again. In addition, It's not exactly clear what you mean by "children find themselves washed up in the sea of expectations and ability and end up at TJ" but if you mean to say kids who do not belong at TJ end up at TJ, that is correct.) And many of these kids should not be there because it's not a good fit (I don't think people will disagree that there are kids at TJ who do not belong there but we don't know to what extent. It could be few, some or many although "some" would be more probable.) -- I used myself as an example. I wasn't "forced" by my parents. I was a people pleasing, achieving girl who wanted to make her hard working immigrant parents proud and who didn't have the social and emotional support (because my poor parents just didn't have those resources/knowledge) to guide me in a way that was developmentally appropriate. (You should have made this more clear from the beginning by saying I attended TJ but I think I made a wrong decision perhaps based on wrong reasons instead of implying TJ is a place I wouldn't allow my own children to attend period and I know best (better than TJ parents) because I attended TJ.) The amount of work and stress I endured wasn't developmentally appropriate. (Again, you should have transferred out if you really felt like you could not handle TJ but you did not and no one pushed you to stay. It was your decision so do not blame the school for your wrong decision and do not imply "many" kids make the same wrong decisions based on wrong reasons that were applicable in your particular case.) Many children find themselves doing things they shouldn't because they feel pressure to "achieve" and "make the most of their talents." It's problematic. (Some children certainly do feel pressured to achieve. However, not wasting "talents" is probably a good thing contrary to your characterization.) I saw it constantly in college and graduate school. I even saw it during my early years in the work force. Many people crumble under the weight of those expectations. (Again, some people cannot handle the pressure (whether great or not so great) and may "crumble". Why do you necessarily attribute this to TJ when you are talking about grad school or even after grad school? Some TJ grads loved their experience at TJ and attribute their success in college, grad school etc. to the great teachers, great classmates, great classes, great activities etc. they experienced while at TJ. YMMV) We would ALL be better served by not binding our children by the results of a placement test or IQ score or whatever. (Again, it's not clear what you mean exactly. Children are not necessarily bound by their scores. Some may argue higher scores afford kids more choices/opportunities to choose among options that may be the best fit. Go into AAP or not go into AAP, go to TJ or not go to TJ, attend Stanford or not attend Stanford etc. You make the ultimate decisions (especially since you were not forced/pushed by your parents) and you own them. Do not blame your high school for your decisions which you were fortunate enough to have and decisions many other kids unfortunately do not have.) For my kids, I absolutely wouldn't push TJ even though I imagine they could probably land in the pool. (No disagreement here. No parents should "push" TJ. The decision should be made by the child with all available information. However, parents may offer advise and guidance.) I don't see it as developmentally appropriate. (This does not make sense. Do you mean it was not "developmentally appropriate" for you and maybe for some kids. Do not imply this statement applies generally to all students.) There is a small subset of kids for which TJ is an amazing fit. I think the testing/application process scoops up many other children who innately may have the "talent" or "giftedness" but shouldn't be there in the first place. (Again, there are some kids who do not belong at TJ for whatever reason and each semester some 30 to 50 kids transfer out to other schools.) Again, if you haven't gone there or taught there, I don't think you understand. Many parents just don't see it (I don't think you can make blanket statements just because you were stressed/couldn't handle TJ but chose to stay at TJ.) |
Anonymous
I guess you are one of the few parents who do see it. What do you see? |
Anonymous
| Four years of spending by every free moment studying |