Things you secretly oppose, but don't want other people to know:

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:SAHMs who claim they stay home to teach their kids, so their kids can learn from them, etc - yet they can barely put a coherent sentence together and seem to spend all their time on DCUM.

Also, SAHMs who say things like "our income" - it's not yours, it's your husband's.

It is "our" income -- "our marriage" "our income"....

Your post makes no sense (see pp's point #1).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Secretly I hate the hijab. But I don't oppose the right of others to wear it.
Every time I see it, it makes me angry. I have to refocus my liberal, feminist values to remind me that everyone gets to wear whatever they want, none of my beeswax.

But in my heart I "oppose" it.

I don't feel this way about the hijab, because I know the extremely varied reasons that Muslim women wear it - and that many women wear it as a big "fuck you" to patriarchy. I don't wear hijab, but I am Muslim.

However, I feel this way about the niqab or any other facial coverings. They are nowhere in the same league as hair coverings. I will never ever support face coverings, but couldn't give two shits about hijab or hair covers.

Do you mean the patriarchy who wants them to wear it?! Yeah, big f*ck you they have going there. Give me a break.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Secretly I hate the hijab. But I don't oppose the right of others to wear it.
Every time I see it, it makes me angry. I have to refocus my liberal, feminist values to remind me that everyone gets to wear whatever they want, none of my beeswax.

But in my heart I "oppose" it.

I openly oppose it. I think we should ban hijab and yamakes too. Any outward display of religion should be banned.

Do you also feel this way about wearing crosses?

Yes. ANY OUTWARD DISPLAY OF RELIGION.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

A surrogate attorney was recently arrested for buying donor sperm, donor eggs, and using surrogates in India to grow babies for sale in the US. She told prospective parents that the original parents backed out their agreements when the surrogate was pregnant. She made money on all aspects of the deal. Something is terribly wrong in the world if this is happening.

I'm not sure why you'd need to oppose that secretly. Both of the atorrneys federal sentences should have tipped you off that this is more than a simple moral issue. I'm a former client of one of the attorneys involved.

To the other PP who opposes epidurals, is that only for vaginal childbirth? I hope you don't oppose them for c-sections and other surgeries. They're a good alternative to full anesthesia.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Nope; I mean what I wrote as it pertains to interracial marriages/unions. Not sure why that's so hard to comprehend.

OP, people keep asking you because your responses don't make sense. I still don't understand what "discord" you have witnessed, nor what "watering down of culture."

The part you're missing is that I don't HAVE to justify my opinion. My opinion is just that and it won't change. It's also almost certain you won't agree with any reason I give, so why would I bother?

How about you allow me to just have my opinion? I don't voice it to others (unless asked) and you'd never know I disapprove, so that is enough. You can't force everyone to agree with your life choices; you can only ask that they don't attack/insult you because of them.

You're entitled to your opinion, but you must at least admit that it's irrational. You say it's not "looks" that determine why you're against "interracial" marriage, but "culture." Then you say it's not inter-cultural marriage you're opposed to. So then what is it?

You can have your beliefs, but you must admit you're incapable of actually supporting and backing up why you hold those beliefs.

I can support them. Just because my reasons don't rise to the level of what you find rational does not mean I don't have my reasons.

Some of them are:

-it creates discord
- it results in loss of culture identity (Ex: black/white child: will not have the same cultural appreciation for their heritage. Same with other races Chinese/white, etc).
-children sometimes have identity crisis issues (accepted by some, not by others, never knowing where they fit in, being racially militant to overcompensate for their insecurities, etc)
-it creates discord *beyond* the parent/child relationship. In-law relationships (which can be tough anyway) are difficult; relating to and/or finding common ground can be an issue, etc.

I have other reasons; these are just a few. Again, you don't have to accept them (or understand them).

I'm a mixed/biracial women. The only "discord" was because of my mom's racist and bigoted family - which isn't actually a justified reason to be against mixed marriages. Personally, I think being mixed is the biggest blessing. You look at all the problems in the world, and most surround arbitrary identities. Being mixed, one easily understands what truly matters when it comes to humanity and their manmade divisions.

When I see mixed children, it warms my heart in a way that I can't describe. As a mixed women, I feel happy for the open and embracing people they will most likely grow up to be.

Thankfully, the racists are being thinned out. I don't see anything negative being lost by thinning out the "cultural identity" of racists.

I'm glad you had a positive experience. But you do realize you aren't the only biracial person in the world, right? And your comment about your Mom's racist family speaks to my point about in-law relationships.

Again, glad it worked out for you, but not really seeing how seeing mixed children warms your heart any more than seeing any child.

You do realize that any source of racism like yours is due to the wrongful attitudes of others, and not inherently about the experience of being mixed? What do you suggest - that people cower to racists like you, for fear of their racist judgment?

As I said, I feel so incredibly lucky being mixed - it's not because of anything my parents did, but because they connected and fell in love based on their similar experiences, despite coming from different cultures, countries, skin colors, and religions. We were blessed to grow up in such an informed family that emphasized love based on an individual, rather than manmade and artificial categories. It warms my heart to see any child to grow up with those blessings. Those realizations about humanity's commonalities come so much easier and naturally to mixed and biracial children - because you see it literally every day.

Again, glad you had a great experience. Please know that it is not the same for everyone and realize that the "racist" insult has no effect when it is not applicable. You can have differing opinions without being racist. Your "manmade and artificial categories" is actually indicative of the cultural watering down that I was talking about.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Secretly I hate the hijab. But I don't oppose the right of others to wear it.
Every time I see it, it makes me angry. I have to refocus my liberal, feminist values to remind me that everyone gets to wear whatever they want, none of my beeswax.

But in my heart I "oppose" it.

I don't feel this way about the hijab, because I know the extremely varied reasons that Muslim women wear it - and that many women wear it as a big "fuck you" to patriarchy. I don't wear hijab, but I am Muslim.

However, I feel this way about the niqab or any other facial coverings. They are nowhere in the same league as hair coverings. I will never ever support face coverings, but couldn't give two shits about hijab or hair covers.

Do you mean the patriarchy who wants them to wear it?! Yeah, big f*ck you they have going there. Give me a break.

No, I mean that there are pressures for women, beauty, and hair. Many Muslim wear it as a "fuck you" to those beauty standards imposed on women. Think of it as like a Muslim version of letting your leg hair grow out, or armpit hair grow out. It's a "fuck you" to the system of what social beauty standards are imposed on women.

[Anonymous]

Totally agree about the hijab and particularly the niqab (and happy to say I learned a new word today!)

Agree that women who don't work sound silly saying 'our HHI' when they earn nothing

Same with anyone who says "we're pregnant"

And to anti-interracial marriage/mixed baby lady -- wow. You do realize none of us is purely anything anymore, right? Michelle Obama is just as mixed as Barack.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:IVF. I'm sorry you're infertile, but there are a lot of orphans who need homes.

(Related) Selective Reduction. You wanted kids bad enough to pay for IVF, but not THAT many kids, so you kill some? Disgusting.

As to working moms, I'm one of them. I work to pay for private school. We live modestly. It's not materialism, it's providing for my kids.

Many people - including me - opted for IVF because it was much more affordable than adoption and covered in great part by my insurance (we paid $4500 total). Adopting an orphan, especially an American orphan, is big bucks (most agencies quoted us $30 - $40K) and a 2 - 3 year ordeal. We looked into it.

We opted against IVF and did adoption, because it was equally affordable as IVF and (for us) a guaranteed way to become parents, as opposed to only being given a 20% chance through IVF. Part of it was that our insurance did not pay.

I am pretty familiar with international adoption (sorry OP), and am now becoming more familiar with domestic adoption. I used to think that adoption was an easy answer/choice, but now that I know more about it, I can very much understand why someone would not pursue it. I personally would not do a domestic adoption, but international adoption was the right choice for my family and may not be the right choice for Person A or B.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Secretly I hate the hijab. But I don't oppose the right of others to wear it.
Every time I see it, it makes me angry. I have to refocus my liberal, feminist values to remind me that everyone gets to wear whatever they want, none of my beeswax.

But in my heart I "oppose" it.

I openly oppose it. I think we should ban hijab and yamakes too. Any outward display of religion should be banned.

Are you going to stop wearing cross necklaces?

[Anonymous]

Southerners get no love

[Anonymous]

- CIO
- Circumcision
- Formula feeding in any circumstance except where the mother's life or baby's life is in imminent peril
- Epidurals
- C-sections except where the mom or baby's life is in danger (so, all but like 5% of them)
- GMOs and conventional food
- Religion of every kind
- People who consume more than they should of any resource

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:- CIO
- Circumcision
- Formula feeding in any circumstance except where the mother's life or baby's life is in imminent peril
- Epidurals
- C-sections except where the mom or baby's life is in danger (so, all but like 5% of them)
- GMOs and conventional food
- Religion of every kind
- People who consume more than they should of any resource

You sound lovely.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:interracial marriage
lesbians- worst coworkers ever

lesbians???? why would lesbians be bad coworkers? i'd rather have a moody lesbian than my boss' dirty creepy son staring at my boobs!

I am not the original poster...however my experience was as follows:

In a male dominated department I was happy to have another woman on the team besides just myself but it was basically like having another guy on the team in many ways. All the men had stay at home wives and she did also. She was also able to work until like 8 and 9pm regularly with the men and like many of them I think preferred work to being home with the wife/partner and kids. We were cool though as colleagues and are still good friends but when she became my boss it was awful. The issues with her as a boss had nothing to do with her orientation. As a peer level coworker, there were just many issues women face in a male dominated job that we were not aligned on because she was more aligned with the men...that was my biggest hang up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Secretly I hate the hijab. But I don't oppose the right of others to wear it.
Every time I see it, it makes me angry. I have to refocus my liberal, feminist values to remind me that everyone gets to wear whatever they want, none of my beeswax.

But in my heart I "oppose" it.

I openly oppose it. I think we should ban hijab and yamakes too. Any outward display of religion should be banned.

Sorry to be "that person", but it's yarmulke.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Secretly I hate the hijab. But I don't oppose the right of others to wear it.
Every time I see it, it makes me angry. I have to refocus my liberal, feminist values to remind me that everyone gets to wear whatever they want, none of my beeswax.

But in my heart I "oppose" it.

I openly oppose it. I think we should ban hijab and yamakes too. Any outward display of religion should be banned.

Are you going to stop wearing cross necklaces?

A. I don't wear a cross. B. I said ALL OUTWARD DISPLAYS OF RELIGION. Last time I checked, a cross is religious. I didn't mention it because I haven't seen one in a while. But yes, all religious displays should be banned.