IVF embryo error, custody settlement

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:The genetic parents realized the law was not on their side and it would likely be a costly and unsuccessful lawsuit to win custody so they agreed to this arrangement to be allowed to stay in the child’s life. It is very sad for the genetic parents.

The birth mother has said the genetic parents are staying a part of their shared child’s life.

I suppose we will ignore epigenetics, because in a very real sense, both mothers are genetic parents.

Epigenetics are a real thing, but the subject has been grossly distorted and misrepresented to make infertile women who purchase other women's eggs feel better about it.

I did RIVF, so I carried a baby not related to me but didn't "purchase" anyone's eggs. I feel a strong physical connection to my child despite the lack of genetic relationship.

Sure. I'm not saying otherwise. But as you acknowledged, the child has no genetic connection to you. I'm not diminishing your love for your kid, but the people who push the epigenetics myth assert that by carrying the child, you create a genetic relationship to the child.

We have a physical and genetic connection. I am also not a bio parent.

I have no idea what your specific circumstances are, but if your child was created from the egg of someone who is not you or is not genetically related to you, you have no genetic connection to your child. That doesn't diminish your love and emotional connection at all, but the fact remains.

I'm not infertile or delusional. We're not genetically related, and I am not the biological parent. But my carrying my child had a permanent physical impact on my child's genetic expression. That is beyond dispute.

Were you in a custody dispute with the bio parents?

That was never the question and has no bearing on the birth mother's physical connection to the child.

Why did the parents bother at all with genetic testing? What difference does it make?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I haven't followed it all the way, but I remember being shocked that they located the biological parents and they didn't choose to sue for custody. I get why it's not the birth couple's fault, but I couldn't be so generous.

I went through IVF and I can't imagine being either couple in this scenario.

I think it was a very loving choice by the genetic parents. They didn't want to take a baby from the only family it has known or put parents who had bonded with and carried a baby through the pain of loss.

+1. I am sure it would be incredibly painful, yet I would do the same if I were in this situation.

It has zero to do with a loving choice by the generic parents. The baby was born in Florida in the Handmaiden South, where a mother's intent of what should happen to her biological child doesn't matter. Their baby was legally stolen.

The backwards law in Florida means they couldn't get their biological child back. The biological mother had NO intention of giving up her embryo or child and the woman who carried the baby had no intent of carrying another women's child. Genetics and intent matter in progressive states like New York, CA, etc. and in those states the biological parents would have gotten their child back.

[Anonymous]

To clear up some misinformation on this thread: The baby has no genetic relationship with the white couple. The wrong embryo was implanted.

While I understand the immense heartbreak for the white couple, I think the resolution was backwards. They should have given the baby to the biological parents and been the ones to visit, not the other way around.

The baby was born in December 2025. It would've been far less disruptive to the child to make the transition when a few months old than to be in this difficult situation for the rest of their life.

The birth parents were wronged by the fertility clinic and this resolution would have been terribly painful for them. But the bio parents were unwitting victims in this too. Most important, the interests of the child should have come first.

[Anonymous]

Found their gofundme which clears up some questions. They knew within days this was not their bio child confirmed by DNA.

Also they recognized the moral obligation to find the parents, but I guess that stops short of letting the child be with their bio family.

There are also details about their personal life and work situation. Seems like this information might have been helpful in determining which family was better for the child's interests.

https://www.gofundme.com/f/TiffandSteveIVFmixup

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The genetic parents realized the law was not on their side and it would likely be a costly and unsuccessful lawsuit to win custody so they agreed to this arrangement to be allowed to stay in the child’s life. It is very sad for the genetic parents.

The birth mother has said the genetic parents are staying a part of their shared child’s life.

I suppose we will ignore epigenetics, because in a very real sense, both mothers are genetic parents.

Epigenetics are a real thing, but the subject has been grossly distorted and misrepresented to make infertile women who purchase other women's eggs feel better about it.

I did RIVF, so I carried a baby not related to me but didn't "purchase" anyone's eggs. I feel a strong physical connection to my child despite the lack of genetic relationship.

Sure. I'm not saying otherwise. But as you acknowledged, the child has no genetic connection to you. I'm not diminishing your love for your kid, but the people who push the epigenetics myth assert that by carrying the child, you create a genetic relationship to the child.

We have a physical and genetic connection. I am also not a bio parent.

I have no idea what your specific circumstances are, but if your child was created from the egg of someone who is not you or is not genetically related to you, you have no genetic connection to your child. That doesn't diminish your love and emotional connection at all, but the fact remains.

I'm not infertile or delusional. We're not genetically related, and I am not the biological parent. But my carrying my child had a permanent physical impact on my child's genetic expression. That is beyond dispute.

I’m sure you very badly want to believe that, but it simply isn’t true in any appreciable way.

No. I really don't care. I had always wanted to adopt because I didn't care much about genetics and thought it was ethical/noble, but as I read more about the adoption industry, I realized I had a ton of ethical concerns and fears about buying a baby. My spouse didn't want to carry, so I did, and my insurance covered RIVF.

But in genuinely is beyond dispute that the womb environment permanently alters the child epigenetically. That doesn't mean that my child inherited my genes. But it does mean my child is physically changed because of my uterus.

https://www.jogcr.com/article_697385_49e2e3d851d61ded1c6f0286b9bcda40.pdf

Did you read that article? It doesn’t say what you think it says.

It’s shameful how the fertility industry has perpetrated this lie.

[Anonymous]

You cannot tell me that a woman who carries a dearly beloved and long awaited baby to term is not a mother?
Embryos in a petri dish are discarded all the time and many do not all even successfully implant when transferred to a uterus.
There is a world of difference in attachment to a baby that grows inside of you, that you feel kicking and growing, compared to a bunch of cells in a dish.

According to law, a pregnant woman is not a child thief, that just cannot be true.

I hope that these mix ups will not happen again, but with the oversight being slim, women will just have to move to another country or state to keep their family together.

You have no idea how profound loosing a child can be

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:To clear up some misinformation on this thread: The baby has no genetic relationship with the white couple. The wrong embryo was implanted.

While I understand the immense heartbreak for the white couple, I think the resolution was backwards. They should have given the baby to the biological parents and been the ones to visit, not the other way around.

The baby was born in December 2025. It would've been far less disruptive to the child to make the transition when a few months old than to be in this difficult situation for the rest of their life.

The birth parents were wronged by the fertility clinic and this resolution would have been terribly painful for them. But the bio parents were unwitting victims in this too. Most important, the interests of the child should have come first.

The mother carried the child.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Found their gofundme which clears up some questions. They knew within days this was not their bio child confirmed by DNA.

Also they recognized the moral obligation to find the parents, but I guess that stops short of letting the child be with their bio family.

There are also details about their personal life and work situation. Seems like this information might have been helpful in determining which family was better for the child's interests.

https://www.gofundme.com/f/TiffandSteveIVFmixup

That’s a big money grab.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Found their gofundme which clears up some questions. They knew within days this was not their bio child confirmed by DNA.

Also they recognized the moral obligation to find the parents, but I guess that stops short of letting the child be with their bio family.

There are also details about their personal life and work situation. Seems like this information might have been helpful in determining which family was better for the child's interests.

https://www.gofundme.com/f/TiffandSteveIVFmixup

Anyone who seriously believes that these people feel that this baby is theirs need to read the description of the Go Fund Me. When they learned this baby wasn't genetically theirs, they believed that their embryo had ended up in another woman and had resulted in a baby. As the GFM makes clear, they wanted to find their "living, breathing children" and to be reunited. (Apparently they don't consider this baby their living, breathing child.) It wasn't until they learned that their embryo had not been successfully implanted in another woman that their goal changed to keeping this baby.

[Anonymous]

I don’t like this story. Anyone going viral seeking publicity and money is suspicious. I feel really bad for the bio parents seeing their child plastered all over. They are being so discreet and respectful and I wonder what their side is.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:To clear up some misinformation on this thread: The baby has no genetic relationship with the white couple. The wrong embryo was implanted.

While I understand the immense heartbreak for the white couple, I think the resolution was backwards. They should have given the baby to the biological parents and been the ones to visit, not the other way around.

The baby was born in December 2025. It would've been far less disruptive to the child to make the transition when a few months old than to be in this difficult situation for the rest of their life.

The birth parents were wronged by the fertility clinic and this resolution would have been terribly painful for them. But the bio parents were unwitting victims in this too. Most important, the interests of the child should have come first.

The mother carried the child.

Oh good grief. Surely you know it's not that simple. There are two biological parents who went through IVF and, through no fault of their own, their embryo was wrongly implanted in a stranger. The birth parents knew immediately upon birth that there had been a horrendous mistake but wanted to keep the child anyway. The decision should have been guided by what's best for the child, not whether it causes pain for the birth parents. Their pain does not supersede the pain of the child or the biological parents.

The biological parents probably settled because the court fight would have lasted years. At that point, even if the biological parents won in court, they would be removing a toddler from the only home they knew.

This is like the Judgement of Solomon.

It is the one who chooses with the baby's life in mind who is the true parent.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You cannot tell me that a woman who carries a dearly beloved and long awaited baby to term is not a mother?
Embryos in a petri dish are discarded all the time and many do not all even successfully implant when transferred to a uterus.
There is a world of difference in attachment to a baby that grows inside of you, that you feel kicking and growing, compared to a bunch of cells in a dish.

According to law, a pregnant woman is not a child thief, that just cannot be true.

I hope that these mix ups will not happen again, but with the oversight being slim, women will just have to move to another country or state to keep their family together.

You have no idea how profound loosing a child can be

Sure.

We know that it would be difficult for the woman who accidentally carried another couple’s baby to give the child back to the biological parents. Duh.

But why are you centering the woman’s interests over the child’s interests?

There’s no doubt in my mind that the child will quickly realize the custodial parents made a selfish choice that left her being raised by a white couple (and all the drama that will bring) when they could have given her back to her biological parents.

They are choosing to saddle her with this terrible baggage for the rest of her life rather than suck up the temporary heartache and protect the baby from having to endure it. Shame on them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Found their gofundme which clears up some questions. They knew within days this was not their bio child confirmed by DNA.

Also they recognized the moral obligation to find the parents, but I guess that stops short of letting the child be with their bio family.

There are also details about their personal life and work situation. Seems like this information might have been helpful in determining which family was better for the child's interests.

https://www.gofundme.com/f/TiffandSteveIVFmixup

Anyone who seriously believes that these people feel that this baby is theirs need to read the description of the Go Fund Me. When they learned this baby wasn't genetically theirs, they believed that their embryo had ended up in another woman and had resulted in a baby. As the GFM makes clear, they wanted to find their "living, breathing children" and to be reunited. (Apparently they don't consider this baby their living, breathing child.) It wasn't until they learned that their embryo had not been successfully implanted in another woman that their goal changed to keeping this baby.

Her partner? They aren’t even married?

And they couldn’t afford the IVF?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Found their gofundme which clears up some questions. They knew within days this was not their bio child confirmed by DNA.

Also they recognized the moral obligation to find the parents, but I guess that stops short of letting the child be with their bio family.

There are also details about their personal life and work situation. Seems like this information might have been helpful in determining which family was better for the child's interests.

https://www.gofundme.com/f/TiffandSteveIVFmixup

Anyone who seriously believes that these people feel that this baby is theirs need to read the description of the Go Fund Me. When they learned this baby wasn't genetically theirs, they believed that their embryo had ended up in another woman and had resulted in a baby. As the GFM makes clear, they wanted to find their "living, breathing children" and to be reunited. (Apparently they don't consider this baby their living, breathing child.) It wasn't until they learned that their embryo had not been successfully implanted in another woman that their goal changed to keeping this baby.

That's interesting. So they believed they had the right to take their own biological child but now they conveniently don't believe that thinking applies to their baby's biological parents.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Found their gofundme which clears up some questions. They knew within days this was not their bio child confirmed by DNA.

Also they recognized the moral obligation to find the parents, but I guess that stops short of letting the child be with their bio family.

There are also details about their personal life and work situation. Seems like this information might have been helpful in determining which family was better for the child's interests.

https://www.gofundme.com/f/TiffandSteveIVFmixup

Anyone who seriously believes that these people feel that this baby is theirs need to read the description of the Go Fund Me. When they learned this baby wasn't genetically theirs, they believed that their embryo had ended up in another woman and had resulted in a baby. As the GFM makes clear, they wanted to find their "living, breathing children" and to be reunited. (Apparently they don't consider this baby their living, breathing child.) It wasn't until they learned that their embryo had not been successfully implanted in another woman that their goal changed to keeping this baby.

Her partner? They aren’t even married?

And they couldn’t afford the IVF?

I would be livid if my baby was living with unmarried parents with unstable work and limited means.