Why don’t schools have stronger policies about redshirting?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:If you redshirt your kids, the other kids will figure out what age your child is (most likely your child will simply tell them) and therefore their parents will too. It's less that people are cataloguing the ages and birthdays of every child and more that when you encounter an 8 year old in 1st or a 10 yr old in 3rd, it is notable, and kids and adults alike will share that info.

The fact that people discover this does not make them creepy stalkers. Again, usually this information is learned from the child themselves when they tell other kids what their age is, which is a very normal thing for kids to share with one another.

You can't control other people finding out and you can't control how they will feel about it when they do. Proceed accordingly.

+1, most talk about it and are proud to be old

Exactly. It's often a point of pride for kids in younger grades to be the oldest, so the redshirted kids get revealed very quickly. This can also be where the resentment starts, if you've got a redshirted kid in the classroom boasting about being the oldest. It's meaningless but it draws attention to it in a negative way.

If you redshirt, talk to your kids about how being a year older or younger isn't important. Make sure they understand that being older doesn't make them better, and find a way to explain why you redshirted that doesn't put other kids down. You don't want your redshirted kid lording it over other children.

TBH it's more likely that they will be uncomfortable and self conscious about being older than everyone else, like they're too old to be in the grade they're in.

Let us know how it goes when the other children make fun of your kid for being too old to be in his or her grade.

Because it will never happen.

said the person who has literally never met a child

said parent of ON TIME boys both 18 most of senior year of high school. Because math.

you toddler mommies are nuts. these are not problems.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sooooo many 8 yr old in first grade.

Actually very few, which is why when people encounter an 8 yr old in first (which means they have a winter or spring birthday and were redshirted), they notice it.

Kids with August and September birthdays who are redshirted generally fly below the radar.

People get way more annoyed with the spring redshirts than the late summer ones.

September kids are not held back depending on the school system. Some are 9/1, 9/30 cut offs. A 9/1 cut off is not held back. We pushed our fall kid forward. No kids wants to be in HS for a full year of being 18.

Yeah all those depressed 9/2, 10/1 on time birthdays who just curse the universe for being 18 their whole senior year….

but wait. that dcum angry judging SO HARD lady said it's RIDICULOUS for a kid to be 18 in high school!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you redshirt your kids, the other kids will figure out what age your child is (most likely your child will simply tell them) and therefore their parents will too. It's less that people are cataloguing the ages and birthdays of every child and more that when you encounter an 8 year old in 1st or a 10 yr old in 3rd, it is notable, and kids and adults alike will share that info.

The fact that people discover this does not make them creepy stalkers. Again, usually this information is learned from the child themselves when they tell other kids what their age is, which is a very normal thing for kids to share with one another.

You can't control other people finding out and you can't control how they will feel about it when they do. Proceed accordingly.

+1, most talk about it and are proud to be old

Exactly. It's often a point of pride for kids in younger grades to be the oldest, so the redshirted kids get revealed very quickly. This can also be where the resentment starts, if you've got a redshirted kid in the classroom boasting about being the oldest. It's meaningless but it draws attention to it in a negative way.

If you redshirt, talk to your kids about how being a year older or younger isn't important. Make sure they understand that being older doesn't make them better, and find a way to explain why you redshirted that doesn't put other kids down. You don't want your redshirted kid lording it over other children.

TBH it's more likely that they will be uncomfortable and self conscious about being older than everyone else, like they're too old to be in the grade they're in.

Let us know how it goes when the other children make fun of your kid for being too old to be in his or her grade.

Because it will never happen.

said the person who has literally never met a child

How would the kids know what “too old” was unless psycho mom had a sit down and talked about it? Real kids only care about who’s birthday is next and if they are going to the party.

This is a strange world you live in where the moms know the ages of literally hundreds of children at their kids' schools, but the kids have no idea how old anyone is or what grade you're supposed to be in each grade.

There is no correct age per grade since school year isn’t the calendar year. Kids have birthdays all year round.

Have fun explaining that to all the kids at school.

Do you have any kids in school? It’s a non issue.

Pfft. If you have a kid who is older than some children in the grade ahead of them, the other kids will sniff that out in about three seconds and the entire grade will know within days. Some will think it's cool. Some won't care. Some will ask what is wrong with you.

The redshirted kid with be a year older than their peers forever. Elementary school. Middle school. High school. College. It will always be an issue, to varying degrees.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sooooo many 8 yr old in first grade.

Actually very few, which is why when people encounter an 8 yr old in first (which means they have a winter or spring birthday and were redshirted), they notice it.

Kids with August and September birthdays who are redshirted generally fly below the radar.

People get way more annoyed with the spring redshirts than the late summer ones.

September kids are not held back depending on the school system. Some are 9/1, 9/30 cut offs. A 9/1 cut off is not held back. We pushed our fall kid forward. No kids wants to be in HS for a full year of being 18.

Yeah all those depressed 9/2, 10/1 on time birthdays who just curse the universe for being 18 their whole senior year….

but wait. that dcum angry judging SO HARD lady said it's RIDICULOUS for a kid to be 18 in high school!

Nope, I said I'd judge parents for redshirting a kid with a February birthday. That kid will turn 19 his senior year. Weird.

[Anonymous]

Even though I haven’t read all 14 pages of this thread, I suspect it echoes the hundreds of pages about redshirting on other DCUM threads, so I will echo my responses to those.

Kids are not widgets. They each have individual strengths and weaknesses, and will mature at different rates. They may be advanced in some areas, but have challenges in other areas - which are not your business to know, much less judge. In most cases redshirting is not a question of a “right” or “wrong” answer but balancing between two options, each with pros and cons.

Moreover, education is not a zero sum game, where one student doing better means another student does worse. In fact, if a student’s behavior is disruptive, giving them another year to mature might be of great benefit to the rest of the class.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you redshirt your kids, the other kids will figure out what age your child is (most likely your child will simply tell them) and therefore their parents will too. It's less that people are cataloguing the ages and birthdays of every child and more that when you encounter an 8 year old in 1st or a 10 yr old in 3rd, it is notable, and kids and adults alike will share that info.

The fact that people discover this does not make them creepy stalkers. Again, usually this information is learned from the child themselves when they tell other kids what their age is, which is a very normal thing for kids to share with one another.

You can't control other people finding out and you can't control how they will feel about it when they do. Proceed accordingly.

+1, most talk about it and are proud to be old

Exactly. It's often a point of pride for kids in younger grades to be the oldest, so the redshirted kids get revealed very quickly. This can also be where the resentment starts, if you've got a redshirted kid in the classroom boasting about being the oldest. It's meaningless but it draws attention to it in a negative way.

If you redshirt, talk to your kids about how being a year older or younger isn't important. Make sure they understand that being older doesn't make them better, and find a way to explain why you redshirted that doesn't put other kids down. You don't want your redshirted kid lording it over other children.

TBH it's more likely that they will be uncomfortable and self conscious about being older than everyone else, like they're too old to be in the grade they're in.

Let us know how it goes when the other children make fun of your kid for being too old to be in his or her grade.

Because it will never happen.

said the person who has literally never met a child

How would the kids know what “too old” was unless psycho mom had a sit down and talked about it? Real kids only care about who’s birthday is next and if they are going to the party.

This is a strange world you live in where the moms know the ages of literally hundreds of children at their kids' schools, but the kids have no idea how old anyone is or what grade you're supposed to be in each grade.

There is no correct age per grade since school year isn’t the calendar year. Kids have birthdays all year round.

Have fun explaining that to all the kids at school.

Do you have any kids in school? It’s a non issue.

Pfft. If you have a kid who is older than some children in the grade ahead of them, the other kids will sniff that out in about three seconds and the entire grade will know within days. Some will think it's cool. Some won't care. Some will ask what is wrong with you.

The redshirted kid with be a year older than their peers forever. Elementary school. Middle school. High school. College. It will always be an issue, to varying degrees.

again with the piss poor math skills

[Anonymous]

My kids are in DCPS, so I'm used to a hard cutoff and I think it makes sense. However, I'd be interested to hear if there would be any merit in keeping the September 30 cutoff for just the girls and pushing the boys up to something like July 30. Just to give the boys a couple of months more given they mature most slowly at that age.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Even though I haven’t read all 14 pages of this thread, I suspect it echoes the hundreds of pages about redshirting on other DCUM threads, so I will echo my responses to those.

Kids are not widgets. They each have individual strengths and weaknesses, and will mature at different rates. They may be advanced in some areas, but have challenges in other areas - which are not your business to know, much less judge. In most cases redshirting is not a question of a “right” or “wrong” answer but balancing between two options, each with pros and cons.

Moreover, education is not a zero sum game, where one student doing better means another student does worse. In fact, if a student’s behavior is disruptive, giving them another year to mature might be of great benefit to the rest of the class.

but I want every kid to line up behind my snowflake

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My kids are in DCPS, so I'm used to a hard cutoff and I think it makes sense. However, I'd be interested to hear if there would be any merit in keeping the September 30 cutoff for just the girls and pushing the boys up to something like July 30. Just to give the boys a couple of months more given they mature most slowly at that age.

you understand that you've just illustrated exactly what a "hard cutoff" makes little sense?!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Even though I haven’t read all 14 pages of this thread, I suspect it echoes the hundreds of pages about redshirting on other DCUM threads, so I will echo my responses to those.

Kids are not widgets. They each have individual strengths and weaknesses, and will mature at different rates. They may be advanced in some areas, but have challenges in other areas - which are not your business to know, much less judge. In most cases redshirting is not a question of a “right” or “wrong” answer but balancing between two options, each with pros and cons.

Moreover, education is not a zero sum game, where one student doing better means another student does worse. In fact, if a student’s behavior is disruptive, giving them another year to mature might be of great benefit to the rest of the class.

Most sensible post in 15 pages.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you redshirt your kids, the other kids will figure out what age your child is (most likely your child will simply tell them) and therefore their parents will too. It's less that people are cataloguing the ages and birthdays of every child and more that when you encounter an 8 year old in 1st or a 10 yr old in 3rd, it is notable, and kids and adults alike will share that info.

The fact that people discover this does not make them creepy stalkers. Again, usually this information is learned from the child themselves when they tell other kids what their age is, which is a very normal thing for kids to share with one another.

You can't control other people finding out and you can't control how they will feel about it when they do. Proceed accordingly.

+1, most talk about it and are proud to be old

Exactly. It's often a point of pride for kids in younger grades to be the oldest, so the redshirted kids get revealed very quickly. This can also be where the resentment starts, if you've got a redshirted kid in the classroom boasting about being the oldest. It's meaningless but it draws attention to it in a negative way.

If you redshirt, talk to your kids about how being a year older or younger isn't important. Make sure they understand that being older doesn't make them better, and find a way to explain why you redshirted that doesn't put other kids down. You don't want your redshirted kid lording it over other children.

TBH it's more likely that they will be uncomfortable and self conscious about being older than everyone else, like they're too old to be in the grade they're in.

No, I don't think so, not in K. Being older is currency for young kids. I've never heard of a kid being called "too old" at the K or 1st level.

I think older kids can feel self conscious about it, especially if they are noticeably bigger/older than other kids but not necessarily better at school or sports. This is a reason I wouldn't redshirt past maybe August/July. I wouldn't want my kid starting puberty a year earlier than peers -- that can be really tough and kids that age are much meaner than younger kids. I think you have to be careful with it. Redshirting a February kid makes no sense to me. At that point if I had a kid with developmental delays or immaturity, I'd still enroll on time but be getting an eval and IEP to address deficits, and working with the school. I don't think you can solve immaturity issues with a kid that old via redshirting.

Early puberty is a huge bonus for boys. It’s not tough at all. Plus puberty doesn’t correspond exactly to chronological age anyway. I have a 15 yr old late bloomer boy.

It depends what it looks like. If it's an awkward transition, going through it before others can be stressful. Yes, boys will benefit from a growth spurt and filling out. Getting facial hair earlier, dealing with vocal changes, etc., can be very embarrassing if classmates are nowhere close. Your kid was a late bloomer, but some are early bloomers and redshirting can make that hard.

Early puberty is really tough on girls. Visible physical changes are often viewed negatively or garner unwanted attention. Being the first to menstruate can be tough too.

Of course there's a spectrum but I wouldn't redshirt a spring birthday in part because I wouldn't want to risk this. Summer birthdays are different. They are in the bubble IMO.

Middle school is just hard. I have an old for grade on time girl who is a late bloomer who gets mocked for being short and undeveloped. But mostly redshirting is a boy thing so all the girl anecdotes are irrelevant.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My kids are in DCPS, so I'm used to a hard cutoff and I think it makes sense. However, I'd be interested to hear if there would be any merit in keeping the September 30 cutoff for just the girls and pushing the boys up to something like July 30. Just to give the boys a couple of months more given they mature most slowly at that age.

Will never happen so no point in discussing. I think a flexible deadline for July/August/September birthdays only would make sense. Then parents could decide based on the individual child but there's still a hard cut off so redshirting would be limited. I especially feel for the parents of kids with September and late August birthdays. Sending your kid to K at age 4 must be tough, especially when K in DCPS can be very academic and require a lot of stamina and behavioral control.

But different rules for boys and girls is a no go, will never happen.

[Anonymous]

Anecdotally, I have friends who were youngest for their grade who desperately wish they’d been held back. Of my friends who were oldest— including husband who was “held back” a year when transitioning from overseas— I have never heard complaints.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you redshirt your kids, the other kids will figure out what age your child is (most likely your child will simply tell them) and therefore their parents will too. It's less that people are cataloguing the ages and birthdays of every child and more that when you encounter an 8 year old in 1st or a 10 yr old in 3rd, it is notable, and kids and adults alike will share that info.

The fact that people discover this does not make them creepy stalkers. Again, usually this information is learned from the child themselves when they tell other kids what their age is, which is a very normal thing for kids to share with one another.

You can't control other people finding out and you can't control how they will feel about it when they do. Proceed accordingly.

+1, most talk about it and are proud to be old

Exactly. It's often a point of pride for kids in younger grades to be the oldest, so the redshirted kids get revealed very quickly. This can also be where the resentment starts, if you've got a redshirted kid in the classroom boasting about being the oldest. It's meaningless but it draws attention to it in a negative way.

If you redshirt, talk to your kids about how being a year older or younger isn't important. Make sure they understand that being older doesn't make them better, and find a way to explain why you redshirted that doesn't put other kids down. You don't want your redshirted kid lording it over other children.

TBH it's more likely that they will be uncomfortable and self conscious about being older than everyone else, like they're too old to be in the grade they're in.

Let us know how it goes when the other children make fun of your kid for being too old to be in his or her grade.

Because it will never happen.

said the person who has literally never met a child

How would the kids know what “too old” was unless psycho mom had a sit down and talked about it? Real kids only care about who’s birthday is next and if they are going to the party.

This is a strange world you live in where the moms know the ages of literally hundreds of children at their kids' schools, but the kids have no idea how old anyone is or what grade you're supposed to be in each grade.

There is no correct age per grade since school year isn’t the calendar year. Kids have birthdays all year round.

Have fun explaining that to all the kids at school.

Do you have any kids in school? It’s a non issue.

Pfft. If you have a kid who is older than some children in the grade ahead of them, the other kids will sniff that out in about three seconds and the entire grade will know within days. Some will think it's cool. Some won't care. Some will ask what is wrong with you.

The redshirted kid with be a year older than their peers forever. Elementary school. Middle school. High school. College. It will always be an issue, to varying degrees.

You do realize that college students vary wildly in age, right? Kids take a gap year between HS and college. Kids transfer colleges and their credits might not always transfer exactly. They take a year off for health reasons, or they join the military and have to take time off for training or because they actually get deployed. Or they have a kid! Allll kinds of stuff happens. Even throughout K-12 school, different areas have different cutoffs. The places that start school early in early-mid August in the Midwest and the South often have 7/30 cutoffs. The August and September birthday kids (and there are a lot, these are some of the most common birthdays of the year) didn’t meet the cutoff where they started school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you redshirt your kids, the other kids will figure out what age your child is (most likely your child will simply tell them) and therefore their parents will too. It's less that people are cataloguing the ages and birthdays of every child and more that when you encounter an 8 year old in 1st or a 10 yr old in 3rd, it is notable, and kids and adults alike will share that info.

The fact that people discover this does not make them creepy stalkers. Again, usually this information is learned from the child themselves when they tell other kids what their age is, which is a very normal thing for kids to share with one another.

You can't control other people finding out and you can't control how they will feel about it when they do. Proceed accordingly.

+1, most talk about it and are proud to be old

Exactly. It's often a point of pride for kids in younger grades to be the oldest, so the redshirted kids get revealed very quickly. This can also be where the resentment starts, if you've got a redshirted kid in the classroom boasting about being the oldest. It's meaningless but it draws attention to it in a negative way.

If you redshirt, talk to your kids about how being a year older or younger isn't important. Make sure they understand that being older doesn't make them better, and find a way to explain why you redshirted that doesn't put other kids down. You don't want your redshirted kid lording it over other children.

TBH it's more likely that they will be uncomfortable and self conscious about being older than everyone else, like they're too old to be in the grade they're in.

Let us know how it goes when the other children make fun of your kid for being too old to be in his or her grade.

Because it will never happen.

said the person who has literally never met a child

How would the kids know what “too old” was unless psycho mom had a sit down and talked about it? Real kids only care about who’s birthday is next and if they are going to the party.

This is a strange world you live in where the moms know the ages of literally hundreds of children at their kids' schools, but the kids have no idea how old anyone is or what grade you're supposed to be in each grade.

There is no correct age per grade since school year isn’t the calendar year. Kids have birthdays all year round.

Have fun explaining that to all the kids at school.

Do you have any kids in school? It’s a non issue.

Pfft. If you have a kid who is older than some children in the grade ahead of them, the other kids will sniff that out in about three seconds and the entire grade will know within days. Some will think it's cool. Some won't care. Some will ask what is wrong with you.

The redshirted kid with be a year older than their peers forever. Elementary school. Middle school. High school. College. It will always be an issue, to varying degrees.

again with the piss poor math skills

This is not a math skills issue, it's a degree issue.

If you read the thread, you see that there is little opposition to redshirting summer birthdays, even among the so-called "anti-redshirters." Summer birthdays will never be more than a year and a month or two older than peers, even the youngest peers. So instead of an age range of 12 months, it's more like 14 or 15. Not a big deal and highly unlikely to matter in high school or college.

OP's complaint was about children redshirted with February birthdays. It's a bigger gap. It could be more significant into later ages. A senior turning 19 in the middle of the year would give me pause. So would a college freshman turning 20.

This thread was originally about a specific kind of redshirting that is rare and far more controversial than holding back a kid whoae birthday is close to the cutoff.