Shocked at how many families in nice DMV neighborhoods are living in relatives' homes

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

I live in Capitol Hill and know two families in this situation. In one instance, they used to live in a much smaller house on the Hill and I was confused when they "upgraded" because they have very middle class jobs. But then they mentioned the house had been in her family and it made sense. There is no resentment there-- it was useful to understand.

This is such a strange take. Many, many wealthy people who work do so in “middle class” jobs, often in non-profits, the arts, advancement, education, etc. They choose to use their excellent education, connections, and experience in service to others and society. The majority of actual wealth in America is transferred not merely earned through a job. A middle class job often says nothing at all about a person’s net worth or access to wealth.

You’re making assumptions about people based on limited information and wasting valuable emotional real estate being “confused” about things that have nothing to do with you.

Another poster said that comparison is just the way the world works. That’s just not true. It does not work that way for everyone. You can think better thoughts.

I tried to quote another user and apparently did it wrong.😑

[Anonymous]

There are a lot of 'families' living in McMansions with 20 people and 10 cars. It really brings down the look of the neighborhood.

[Anonymous]

Of course this happens. Lots of kids at our Chevy Chase Elementary school who are living in their grandparents' homes. Yes, some of them must be a bit crowded, but it's nice for them to grow up in the warmth of extended family, the kids get to go to a better school district than their parents might have been able to afford otherwise and presumably can save for a down payment while they live with mom and dad. The people who can afford SFHs in close-in expensive areas are typically Big Law, lucrative specializations in medicine or have finance jobs

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t know anyone who does. I live in Capitol Hill. Maybe our neighborhood isn’t nice enough?

I live in Capitol Hill and know two families in this situation. In one instance, they used to live in a much smaller house on the Hill and I was confused when they "upgraded" because they have very middle class jobs. But then they mentioned the house had been in her family and it made sense. There is no resentment there-- it was useful to understand.

Do those two families make you feel like people who want to buy are shut out?

I mean it's not about feelings. As a practical matter homes that are passed down through generations are homes that never hit the housing market. Capitol Hill has notoriously low inventory and I'm sure the houses that get kept in families (which I really do think is actually fairly common in this area) contribute to that low inventory. So yes as a practical matter families that keep homes in the family and pass them down contribute to fewer people being able to buy in this neighborhood. Same with people who choose to rent out their homes instead of sell them which has become very common in recent years as people perceive the current market as less explosive than prior markets and are loathe to give up an appreciating asset now when rates might depress prices some.

But recognizing that these things factor into the cost of housing and may make it harder for others to buy is not the same as resenting people for making these perfectly reasonable choices. But understanding that these choices factor into low inventory and high prices can also help people who are navigating the market for the first time better understand the landscape. Sure at first they might feel frustrated because they want to buy into a neighborhood and can't becasue there are so few homes on the market and you have to pay a premium for them. But understanding what is goign on will ultimately make them more informed buyers and help them make choices (including the choice to move on and buy elsewhere understanding that these homes are not suddenly goign to come on the market).

Info is power.

[Anonymous]

One was recently in the news. The neighbors of the Alitos.
They both live in a nice neighborhood, and the neighbors are living with their mom.

[Anonymous]

For Mr. “Info is Power”: If so many people are renting out their homes rather than selling, why are rents so damn high and rentals in short supply? I didn’t go to a school in an upscale neighborhood, like your kindergartener, so I eagerly await your reply.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:For Mr. “Info is Power”: If so many people are renting out their homes rather than selling, why are rents so damn high and rentals in short supply? I didn’t go to a school in an upscale neighborhood, like your kindergartener, so I eagerly await your reply.

It's Ms. actually.

There is a housing shortage in these neighborhoods. "Upscale" neighborhoods (I live on Capitol Hill -- I'll let others decide if it's upscale or not) tend to have a lot of SFHs and limited multi-family housing. So even if more people choose to rent out their homes rather than sell when the move (which is absolutely a phenomenon I see on the Hill -- we know maybe a dozen families who have done just that in the last few years because they didn't want to give up a super low rate on an appreciating asset) there simply is not enough housing in these neighborhoods to meet demand. Especially in a neighborhood where the major draw is the schools and the family-friendly nature of the neighborhood. Even if there is multi-family housing it is often not conducive to actually raising kids there (on the Hill most apartments are relatively small and in older buildings with little to no outdoor space). So there is huge demand for houses large enough for families that are inbound for good elementary schools. This drives up rental prices and actually only make it more appealing for people to rent out their homes instead of selling.

The truth is that owning a home in a neighborhood where housing is in high demand is great for sellers but the situation is really hard for buyers and you generally need a lot of resources to own a home there. Either a high income or family help or yes inheriting a home from family who bought well before the prices skyrocketed.

I can see you are mad at me so perhaps this will mitigate your anger: I live in this neighborhood in a condo that has barely appreciated since I bought it. It's not inbound for one of the "good" schools and we've had to play the lottery to find a workable education situation. We assumed when we bought that we'd use it to park our money for a while and then move to a SFH when our incomes increased. They did increase but then housing prices went up and we never caught up. So our kids live in a condo and it is what it is. It took us a while to understand the lay of the land in terms of how the market here works. Now we get it and are using that info to move to a different neighborhood where we can get in on the ground floor a bit more. That's why I think "info is power." Because I was naive when I was first looking to buy and there was a lot about the market including what drives the low inventory (I genuinely believed this was a temporary issue that would shift when I was buying because that is how our realtor who was our only real resource put it. I didn't understand and it took me years to really get it. I wish I'd had someone to explain it all to me when I was younger. That's why I think info is power.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t know anyone who does. I live in Capitol Hill. Maybe our neighborhood isn’t nice enough?

I live in Capitol Hill and know two families in this situation. In one instance, they used to live in a much smaller house on the Hill and I was confused when they "upgraded" because they have very middle class jobs. But then they mentioned the house had been in her family and it made sense. There is no resentment there-- it was useful to understand.

Do those two families make you feel like people who want to buy are shut out?

I mean it's not about feelings. As a practical matter homes that are passed down through generations are homes that never hit the housing market. Capitol Hill has notoriously low inventory and I'm sure the houses that get kept in families (which I really do think is actually fairly common in this area) contribute to that low inventory. So yes as a practical matter families that keep homes in the family and pass them down contribute to fewer people being able to buy in this neighborhood. Same with people who choose to rent out their homes instead of sell them which has become very common in recent years as people perceive the current market as less explosive than prior markets and are loathe to give up an appreciating asset now when rates might depress prices some.

But recognizing that these things factor into the cost of housing and may make it harder for others to buy is not the same as resenting people for making these perfectly reasonable choices. But understanding that these choices factor into low inventory and high prices can also help people who are navigating the market for the first time better understand the landscape. Sure at first they might feel frustrated because they want to buy into a neighborhood and can't becasue there are so few homes on the market and you have to pay a premium for them. But understanding what is goign on will ultimately make them more informed buyers and help them make choices (including the choice to move on and buy elsewhere understanding that these homes are not suddenly goign to come on the market).

Info is power.

I don't think this is true at all. Is there actual data that this is a significant factor across the board? High prices make it difficult for people who consider the prices high but not that many homes are not sitting empty so there is still a market and people who can afford it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There are a lot of 'families' living in McMansions with 20 people and 10 cars. It really brings down the look of the neighborhood.

But that what it takes for normal people to afford the mortgages.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I've been living close to downtown Bethesda for more than 10 years, know hundreds of people from elementary, middle and high schools in the area because my kids are older teens, and NO, this is not a common occurrence, OP.

Why are you so obsessed with other people's living arrangements? We have no family help or high salaries, yet I have zero issues with the people who do. DH and I will be the generation who helps their children. If you have money, you'll do the same for your children. See how that works? Why is it a problem when others do it, but not when you do it?

Your jealousy is making you really stupid.

PP, we may live in the same Bethesda neighborhood.

OP is talking about DC. Have you ever lived in DC? There is a world of difference. OP is speaking of Old Money DC families who are preserving wealth by keeping it in the family. Super common among DC Old Guard who’ve been here since 1920s or earlier. Bethesda barely existed then - earliest homes in my neighborhood are from the ‘30s, with most from the ‘40s. Even here, there are people living in grandparents homes, etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes this is common -- we live on the Hill and know several families who can only afford to live here because they are living in a parent or grandparent's home that was purchased for like 20 decades ago. It doesn't upset me -- it means there are more people here with our similiar finances and it also means they don't look down on us for living in a condo instead of a row home because neither of us can actually afford the row home.

If it seemed like they were beng smug about it I guess it would bother me but at least in our case people are not and recognize that if they didn't have this good fortune they could not afford to live here.

This here. We've made many mixed housing type communities illegal to zoning. I'd love to make our home into a duplex for grandparents and us. But we can't. So we do this instead.

Move to MoCo - they’ll incent you to do it near metro.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I've been living close to downtown Bethesda for more than 10 years, know hundreds of people from elementary, middle and high schools in the area because my kids are older teens, and NO, this is not a common occurrence, OP.

Why are you so obsessed with other people's living arrangements? We have no family help or high salaries, yet I have zero issues with the people who do. DH and I will be the generation who helps their children. If you have money, you'll do the same for your children. See how that works? Why is it a problem when others do it, but not when you do it?

Your jealousy is making you really stupid.

PP, we may live in the same Bethesda neighborhood.

OP is talking about DC. Have you ever lived in DC? There is a world of difference. OP is speaking of Old Money DC families who are preserving wealth by keeping it in the family. Super common among DC Old Guard who’ve been here since 1920s or earlier. Bethesda barely existed then - earliest homes in my neighborhood are from the ‘30s, with most from the ‘40s. Even here, there are people living in grandparents homes, etc.

Where in DC? Is this a Capitol Hill or Georgetown thing? Certainly isn't a thing in CC DC right at the MD border which was founded in the late 1800s.

[Anonymous]

I find nothing wrong with this, but fwiw we live in one of those neighborhoods also (moved in 11 years ago) and I’ve met zero families in the situation OP describes. And we are heavily involved in the community, kids in local public etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:One was recently in the news. The neighbors of the Alitos.
They both live in a nice neighborhood, and the neighbors are living with their mom.

If you read the article it said they lived with the mom when they moved back to the DC area. They now live in their own house. Don't think them living with mom for a bit shuts anyone out of the housing market.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t know anyone who does. I live in Capitol Hill. Maybe our neighborhood isn’t nice enough?

I live in Capitol Hill and know two families in this situation. In one instance, they used to live in a much smaller house on the Hill and I was confused when they "upgraded" because they have very middle class jobs. But then they mentioned the house had been in her family and it made sense. There is no resentment there-- it was useful to understand.

Do those two families make you feel like people who want to buy are shut out?

I mean it's not about feelings. As a practical matter homes that are passed down through generations are homes that never hit the housing market. Capitol Hill has notoriously low inventory and I'm sure the houses that get kept in families (which I really do think is actually fairly common in this area) contribute to that low inventory. So yes as a practical matter families that keep homes in the family and pass them down contribute to fewer people being able to buy in this neighborhood. Same with people who choose to rent out their homes instead of sell them which has become very common in recent years as people perceive the current market as less explosive than prior markets and are loathe to give up an appreciating asset now when rates might depress prices some.

But recognizing that these things factor into the cost of housing and may make it harder for others to buy is not the same as resenting people for making these perfectly reasonable choices. But understanding that these choices factor into low inventory and high prices can also help people who are navigating the market for the first time better understand the landscape. Sure at first they might feel frustrated because they want to buy into a neighborhood and can't becasue there are so few homes on the market and you have to pay a premium for them. But understanding what is goign on will ultimately make them more informed buyers and help them make choices (including the choice to move on and buy elsewhere understanding that these homes are not suddenly goign to come on the market).

Info is power.

I don't think this is true at all. Is there actual data that this is a significant factor across the board? High prices make it difficult for people who consider the prices high but not that many homes are not sitting empty so there is still a market and people who can afford it.

Is there data that says that when supply is lower than demand, prices go up? Yes. This is a basic economic principle.

You seem not to understand that home prices are not innate. Prices are driven by the market not the intrinsic value of the home. It's not like the prices are set by some independent authority and then people have to just figure out if they can afford it or not. Also low inventories cause people to pay more for homes simply because they want the location. Schools are a major factor in DC and result in skyrocketing prices clustered around better school options independent of the quality of the housing stock.

Low inventories also guarantee that you will find buyers even at high prices especially in a market like DC where many people move here for work. There are always people entering this market from elsewhere for work reasons and they will often pay a premium to get a home in a "good" school boundary because they have limited knowledge of the landscape generally and will pay extra to control one of the few things they can control.

So yes scarcity if housing in desirable locations drives up prices. Water is wet.