Do women expect a ring at 1 year?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Oh, and I have never paid for one thing.
They pay.

OP here. They want to sleep with you. None of them will marry you.

DP. There are some men who hate kids but are out here looking for wives that won’t accidentally get pregnant. They like older women who are still cute.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You remind me of a boyfriend my doctor sister had at that age. He was nice guy, good-looking and a doctor. We all liked him and really thought he would be her husband. Well, she met another guy at a conference (also a doctor) and he swept her off her feet. He proposed to her within the year and she accepted. Her boyfriend was in shock. He was planning on proposing to her but he lost out to a more determined suitor. The poor guy even came over and talked to my mom. If your girlfriend is all that you say, there will be other guys interested, too. My sister and her DH have been happily married for decades with two great sons.

Your sister cheated on her boyfriend? Dude dodged a bullet. Congrats to the married cuck who can live with his eyes closed.

Define cheated? Dating was different “decades” ago. People went on multiple dates with multiple people before going steady or sleeping with them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I hope you and your girlfriend work out and make the best decision for you both. But you do seem to be on some kind of odd moral high horse. Everyone else you know seems to have done it “wrong” but you’ve convinced yourself you’re doing it all right. It reeks of insecurity and you might want to address that in either individual or joint therapy. In order to get married and have kids, you’ll have to learn to compromise - a LOT - and think outside of yourself.

You are also 35 and far too worried about what your family and others think. Who cares what anyone else besides the two of you think? You’re fully functional adults.

OP here. I never said others have done it wrong. I actually look up to parents marriage. All of my extended family are in happy longterm marriages. I want that for myself, my wife, and my kids.

I’d bet good money that none of your happily married parents and extended family had a 10/10 woman hanging around waiting until they were 38 with 6 figures liquid cash and whatever else you think you need first. They just did it. Perhaps you should consider the wisdom of their experience over your own imagination since, you know, they have achieved what you want and you have accomplished nothing so far?

OP here. I wouldn’t say I have accomplished nothing. I make great money and have enough to buy a really nice ring ( the one I’ve looked at is $22k), pay for the wedding and honeymoon, put down a hefty down payment on a home in the millions, pay off her student loan debt, and have her quit working or fund childcare expenses. I wouldn’t say that’s nothing.

Why do you have to pay for everything? She’s working and wants a career. You act that she is a poor orphan in need of rescuing.

OP here. She doesn’t don’t make a lot of money. I want to provide these things for her. It’s important to me that she’s feels taken care of, comfortable, and safe.

Is it important to her? What if she doesn’t want to quit working or have children right away?

OP here. I don’t care if she works. I want to give her the option not to work or not to work as much once kids come, or take extended mat leave.

She said she wants kids but not until 30. She’s thinking first kid at 31/32. She had said she wants 2-3 kids ( likely only 2) back to back and by 35. She is close in age with her 2 siblings an wants them all to be a 1-1.5 years apart.

You need to start thinking empathetically from her point of view. If you care about her at all, you would do this. If you ultimately do not propose, you are completely blowing this timeline for her. Right now she is carrying all the risk. It sounds like she either hasn't fully considered how her timeline would be affected if you wait to propose (potentially because doing so is painful), or she has but doesn't want to tell you, as before a year, she would risk seeming a little too hurried. I would plan to make significant plans to move in at a year I'd you haven't and propose within 6 months after that. Any longer, and she'll probably wise up and it won't be enjoyable anymore, just relief. If you can't commit to this, I would consider cutting her loose now if you care about her to give her one more shot at her timeline. Because that's what she'll have, one. But only if she can find someone who doesn't drag his feet as much as you.

+1 Although honestly reading OP’s responses I kind of hope his girlfriend breaks up with him before he gets his act together. It sounds like she can do better.

[Anonymous]

Would she be okay with moving in together now without getting engaged? If so I think you guys set a timeline of engagement within 6 months of moving in. She'll be 28.5 years old when you propose to her. Do not wait until her 29th birthday to propose.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I hope you and your girlfriend work out and make the best decision for you both. But you do seem to be on some kind of odd moral high horse. Everyone else you know seems to have done it “wrong” but you’ve convinced yourself you’re doing it all right. It reeks of insecurity and you might want to address that in either individual or joint therapy. In order to get married and have kids, you’ll have to learn to compromise - a LOT - and think outside of yourself.

You are also 35 and far too worried about what your family and others think. Who cares what anyone else besides the two of you think? You’re fully functional adults.

OP here. I never said others have done it wrong. I actually look up to parents marriage. All of my extended family are in happy longterm marriages. I want that for myself, my wife, and my kids.

I’d bet good money that none of your happily married parents and extended family had a 10/10 woman hanging around waiting until they were 38 with 6 figures liquid cash and whatever else you think you need first. They just did it. Perhaps you should consider the wisdom of their experience over your own imagination since, you know, they have achieved what you want and you have accomplished nothing so far?

OP here. I wouldn’t say I have accomplished nothing. I make great money and have enough to buy a really nice ring ( the one I’ve looked at is $22k), pay for the wedding and honeymoon, put down a hefty down payment on a home in the millions, pay off her student loan debt, and have her quit working or fund childcare expenses. I wouldn’t say that’s nothing.

Why do you have to pay for everything? She’s working and wants a career. You act that she is a poor orphan in need of rescuing.

OP here. She doesn’t don’t make a lot of money. I want to provide these things for her. It’s important to me that she’s feels taken care of, comfortable, and safe.

Is it important to her? What if she doesn’t want to quit working or have children right away?

OP here. I don’t care if she works. I want to give her the option not to work or not to work as much once kids come, or take extended mat leave.

She said she wants kids but not until 30. She’s thinking first kid at 31/32. She had said she wants 2-3 kids ( likely only 2) back to back and by 35. She is close in age with her 2 siblings an wants them all to be a 1-1.5 years apart.

You need to start thinking empathetically from her point of view. If you care about her at all, you would do this. If you ultimately do not propose, you are completely blowing this timeline for her. Right now she is carrying all the risk. It sounds like she either hasn't fully considered how her timeline would be affected if you wait to propose (potentially because doing so is painful), or she has but doesn't want to tell you, as before a year, she would risk seeming a little too hurried. I would plan to make significant plans to move in at a year I'd you haven't and propose within 6 months after that. Any longer, and she'll probably wise up and it won't be enjoyable anymore, just relief. If you can't commit to this, I would consider cutting her loose now if you care about her to give her one more shot at her timeline. Because that's what she'll have, one. But only if she can find someone who doesn't drag his feet as much as you.

+1 Although honestly reading OP’s responses I kind of hope his girlfriend breaks up with him before he gets his act together. It sounds like she can do better.

+1 because I know the future: she breaks up with him then he rushes to the alter with the next woman he meets. Happens ALL THE TIME

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You aren't sexist but you think women should be provided for and men are ingrained to provide. Okay.

OP here. This is how the real world works. Many women look to a man as a provider. Most men feel the sense that they need to be the provider. I’m surprised older people on this forum don’t understand that or understand men. No wonder there are so many unhappy bitter women on this thread.

This is not how the real world works. Even in my conservative hometown that’s religious, the vast majority of women work.

[Anonymous]

OP, you are scum and everyone here knows it. You are sexist and archaic in your thinking, and also on the fence about whether your perfect 10 girlfriend is actually, in reality, a perfect 10.

[Anonymous]

Jeff is going to have a field day writing this k e up.

[Anonymous]

OP here. I slept on it and decided there really isn’t anything holding me back but some anxiety about marriage. I’m buying a ring and proposing on 4th of July.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I slept on it and decided there really isn’t anything holding me back but some anxiety about marriage. I’m buying a ring and proposing on 4th of July.

Good for you! People on here were harsh but made a lot of valid points.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I slept on it and decided there really isn’t anything holding me back but some anxiety about marriage. I’m buying a ring and proposing on 4th of July.

Good for you! People on here were harsh but made a lot of valid points.

+1

All the best to you OP!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I slept on it and decided there really isn’t anything holding me back but some anxiety about marriage. I’m buying a ring and proposing on 4th of July.

Finally! But, you really need some therapy about your anxiety and feelings about marriage. I'm betting you still have some anxiety about marriage. Do seek some therapy, and do go to premarital counseling.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Jeff is going to have a field day writing this k e up.

He already did. He suspects OP is a troll.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I hope you and your girlfriend work out and make the best decision for you both. But you do seem to be on some kind of odd moral high horse. Everyone else you know seems to have done it “wrong” but you’ve convinced yourself you’re doing it all right. It reeks of insecurity and you might want to address that in either individual or joint therapy. In order to get married and have kids, you’ll have to learn to compromise - a LOT - and think outside of yourself.

You are also 35 and far too worried about what your family and others think. Who cares what anyone else besides the two of you think? You’re fully functional adults.

OP here. I never said others have done it wrong. I actually look up to parents marriage. All of my extended family are in happy longterm marriages. I want that for myself, my wife, and my kids.

I’d bet good money that none of your happily married parents and extended family had a 10/10 woman hanging around waiting until they were 38 with 6 figures liquid cash and whatever else you think you need first. They just did it. Perhaps you should consider the wisdom of their experience over your own imagination since, you know, they have achieved what you want and you have accomplished nothing so far?

OP here. I wouldn’t say I have accomplished nothing. I make great money and have enough to buy a really nice ring ( the one I’ve looked at is $22k), pay for the wedding and honeymoon, put down a hefty down payment on a home in the millions, pay off her student loan debt, and have her quit working or fund childcare expenses. I wouldn’t say that’s nothing.

Why do you have to pay for everything? She’s working and wants a career. You act that she is a poor orphan in need of rescuing.

OP here. She doesn’t don’t make a lot of money. I want to provide these things for her. It’s important to me that she’s feels taken care of, comfortable, and safe.

Is it important to her? What if she doesn’t want to quit working or have children right away?

OP here. I don’t care if she works. I want to give her the option not to work or not to work as much once kids come, or take extended mat leave.

She said she wants kids but not until 30. She’s thinking first kid at 31/32. She had said she wants 2-3 kids ( likely only 2) back to back and by 35. She is close in age with her 2 siblings an wants them all to be a 1-1.5 years apart.

You need to start thinking empathetically from her point of view. If you care about her at all, you would do this. If you ultimately do not propose, you are completely blowing this timeline for her. Right now she is carrying all the risk. It sounds like she either hasn't fully considered how her timeline would be affected if you wait to propose (potentially because doing so is painful), or she has but doesn't want to tell you, as before a year, she would risk seeming a little too hurried. I would plan to make significant plans to move in at a year I'd you haven't and propose within 6 months after that. Any longer, and she'll probably wise up and it won't be enjoyable anymore, just relief. If you can't commit to this, I would consider cutting her loose now if you care about her to give her one more shot at her timeline. Because that's what she'll have, one. But only if she can find someone who doesn't drag his feet as much as you.

+1 Although honestly reading OP’s responses I kind of hope his girlfriend breaks up with him before he gets his act together. It sounds like she can do better.

It is always always about the woman's timeline. Once you sign up for it and have kids, she will file for divorce because suddenly oops you don't help around, you don't plan, you don't want sex, you don't have hobbies..

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I hope you and your girlfriend work out and make the best decision for you both. But you do seem to be on some kind of odd moral high horse. Everyone else you know seems to have done it “wrong” but you’ve convinced yourself you’re doing it all right. It reeks of insecurity and you might want to address that in either individual or joint therapy. In order to get married and have kids, you’ll have to learn to compromise - a LOT - and think outside of yourself.

You are also 35 and far too worried about what your family and others think. Who cares what anyone else besides the two of you think? You’re fully functional adults.

OP here. I never said others have done it wrong. I actually look up to parents marriage. All of my extended family are in happy longterm marriages. I want that for myself, my wife, and my kids.

I’d bet good money that none of your happily married parents and extended family had a 10/10 woman hanging around waiting until they were 38 with 6 figures liquid cash and whatever else you think you need first. They just did it. Perhaps you should consider the wisdom of their experience over your own imagination since, you know, they have achieved what you want and you have accomplished nothing so far?

OP here. I wouldn’t say I have accomplished nothing. I make great money and have enough to buy a really nice ring ( the one I’ve looked at is $22k), pay for the wedding and honeymoon, put down a hefty down payment on a home in the millions, pay off her student loan debt, and have her quit working or fund childcare expenses. I wouldn’t say that’s nothing.

Why do you have to pay for everything? She’s working and wants a career. You act that she is a poor orphan in need of rescuing.

OP here. She doesn’t don’t make a lot of money. I want to provide these things for her. It’s important to me that she’s feels taken care of, comfortable, and safe.

Is it important to her? What if she doesn’t want to quit working or have children right away?

OP here. I don’t care if she works. I want to give her the option not to work or not to work as much once kids come, or take extended mat leave.

She said she wants kids but not until 30. She’s thinking first kid at 31/32. She had said she wants 2-3 kids ( likely only 2) back to back and by 35. She is close in age with her 2 siblings an wants them all to be a 1-1.5 years apart.

You need to start thinking empathetically from her point of view. If you care about her at all, you would do this. If you ultimately do not propose, you are completely blowing this timeline for her. Right now she is carrying all the risk. It sounds like she either hasn't fully considered how her timeline would be affected if you wait to propose (potentially because doing so is painful), or she has but doesn't want to tell you, as before a year, she would risk seeming a little too hurried. I would plan to make significant plans to move in at a year I'd you haven't and propose within 6 months after that. Any longer, and she'll probably wise up and it won't be enjoyable anymore, just relief. If you can't commit to this, I would consider cutting her loose now if you care about her to give her one more shot at her timeline. Because that's what she'll have, one. But only if she can find someone who doesn't drag his feet as much as you.

+1 Although honestly reading OP’s responses I kind of hope his girlfriend breaks up with him before he gets his act together. It sounds like she can do better.

It is always always about the woman's timeline. Once you sign up for it and have kids, she will file for divorce because suddenly oops you don't help around, you don't plan, you don't want sex, you don't have hobbies..

Why would you stop functioning once you're married?