Any other moms out just not order when you eat with your family?

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:OP, why don’t you order what you want, tell the kids they don’t get to choose/order, and that they are expected to eat from whatever scraps you don’t eat after you’ve finished? See how bad that sounds?

Her kids aren’t ordering her to eat their scraps. She is choosing to do so because that’s what she prefers to do. So your scenario is in no way comparable.

It is shocking how triggered some people are at the thought of just waiting to eat the food that you know is going to be left. I think ya’ll are projecting your own weird issues around food onto OP.

“I don’t need anything. I will just have your leftovers.” Is classic covert narcissist behavior. And there is always a very weird dance going on between the husband and wife when one is a covert narcissist.

How is that narcissistic? Not everything is narcissism. Sometimes people just don’t like food waste. Have you googled narcissism?

Who has wasted food? If you don't take your leftovers home to eat later that's on you. Why do you do that?

JFC nobody is going to box up a third of a cheeseburger, a leftover chicken tender, and grilled cheese crusts (some of the examples from this thread) to bring home to eat *later*. But those things can make a perfectly satisfactory meal while still in the restaurant.

Really, that's a perfectly satisfactory meal for an adult? I guess anyone who eats more than 1/3 of a burger, one nugget, and a crust (?! really, you can't let a piece of CRUST go to waste?!) is a fat gluttonous pig.

NP. I order my own meal, but crusts are my favorite part of a sandwich! Uncrustables are the devil.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No! Don’t be cheap. Stay home if you aren’t going to eat.

This! No wonder some some businesses and their servers don't make a decent amount of money--you are taking up a full table and being a CHEAPSKATE.

If you frequent popular places OP, stay home and stop taking up the table that could have gone to a family who orders meals and pays for them and keeps places afloat and tips.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm really curious how the server reacts when you are sitting at a restaurant and don't order food?

Probably seething.

[Anonymous]

Ha, well I often order a soup or side salad and then eat half of both of my kids' meals. So yeah, I get it. I am slender so I often wonder if servers think I've got issues but I eat more calories than anyone in my family.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm really curious how the server reacts when you are sitting at a restaurant and don't order food?

If the server has anything more than a fleeting thought of "oh my tip might be $2 smaller because the bill will be smaller", then maybe they should talk to management about portion sizes?

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:I sometimes did this because I am cheap, picky, and don’t like to see food wasted. I don’t think it’s a big deal. Now that my kids are older and more likely to finish their meals, I rarely skip ordering. I don’t see why people need to shame others so much.

The shamers in this thread are most likely fat gluttons who are justifying their over spending and over eating as being… feminism?

So, you think that people who actually eat dinner are “over eaters” and “fat?” But, you’re the one without weird food hangups?

No I think the people shaming OP are fat over eaters. Work on your reading comprehension.

Disordered behavior should be described as such. It does no one any good to pretend that OP is healthy and okay. She's not. It's like calling it "shaming" to describe a tumor as cancer.

It’s not disordered just because some over dramatic idiots could never dream of NOT wasting food and money every time they belly up to the trough.

I don’t think OP’s choices are disordered, just set a bad example for her kids. That being said, all the comments saying it is disordered eating have been relatively kind and not shaming. Your comments on other posters however…

What world are you living in where it is KIND to tell a mother that she has an eating disorder, is acting like a martyr, and is a bad mother (sorry, setting a bad example for her children)?

NP. It is literally modeling for your kids that mom doesn’t choose or get a full entree; mom gets what others pick, and she gets the scraps.

It is literally modeling that the family doesn’t waste food or money, and mom is smart and savvy.

It’s neither smart nor savvy to have 1/2 a cheeseburger and one chicken tender for dinner as a 36yo woman when what you really want—and what would be healthier for you—is the salmon, or the salad with goat cheese, or the gnocchi with brown sage butter.

But what I really want is to make sure all the food I paid for gets eaten. And I like cheeseburgers and chicken tenders. So it’s a win win for me. Smart, savvy, satisfied.

Then why don’t you save the food for the next day’s lunch, for the kids or for you? Then you can have a meal that maybe has some fresh greens, some vegetables, and some kind of care in preparation beyond quickly heating up something off the Sysco truck? If you’re going to pay a mark-up for food, your kids might as well enjoy it twice.

So you’ve never been an adventurous eater? If not, I guess this is a great way to cover up for pickiness as an adult…

I have tried this a thousand times and we are lucky if 1/3rd of the leftovers get eaten in my family.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm really curious how the server reacts when you are sitting at a restaurant and don't order food?

If the server has anything more than a fleeting thought of "oh my tip might be $2 smaller because the bill will be smaller", then maybe they should talk to management about portion sizes?

NP here who often gets a cocktail and something very small to eat because I eat my kids' food: the server should be more grateful that I drink. They probably care more about that and would prefer people who are ordering drinks vs an entire family who just drinks water.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm really curious how the server reacts when you are sitting at a restaurant and don't order food?

If the server has anything more than a fleeting thought of "oh my tip might be $2 smaller because the bill will be smaller", then maybe they should talk to management about portion sizes?

$2 cheaper?
Are you tipping 3% or something?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm really curious how the server reacts when you are sitting at a restaurant and don't order food?

If the server has anything more than a fleeting thought of "oh my tip might be $2 smaller because the bill will be smaller", then maybe they should talk to management about portion sizes?

NP here who often gets a cocktail and something very small to eat because I eat my kids' food: the server should be more grateful that I drink. They probably care more about that and would prefer people who are ordering drinks vs an entire family who just drinks water.

Only on DCUM would someone think to brag about drinking tons of alcohol and not eating any food.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:I sometimes did this because I am cheap, picky, and don’t like to see food wasted. I don’t think it’s a big deal. Now that my kids are older and more likely to finish their meals, I rarely skip ordering. I don’t see why people need to shame others so much.

The shamers in this thread are most likely fat gluttons who are justifying their over spending and over eating as being… feminism?

So, you think that people who actually eat dinner are “over eaters” and “fat?” But, you’re the one without weird food hangups?

No I think the people shaming OP are fat over eaters. Work on your reading comprehension.

Disordered behavior should be described as such. It does no one any good to pretend that OP is healthy and okay. She's not. It's like calling it "shaming" to describe a tumor as cancer.

It’s not disordered just because some over dramatic idiots could never dream of NOT wasting food and money every time they belly up to the trough.

I don’t think OP’s choices are disordered, just set a bad example for her kids. That being said, all the comments saying it is disordered eating have been relatively kind and not shaming. Your comments on other posters however…

What world are you living in where it is KIND to tell a mother that she has an eating disorder, is acting like a martyr, and is a bad mother (sorry, setting a bad example for her children)?

NP. It is literally modeling for your kids that mom doesn’t choose or get a full entree; mom gets what others pick, and she gets the scraps.

It is literally modeling that the family doesn’t waste food or money, and mom is smart and savvy.

It’s neither smart nor savvy to have 1/2 a cheeseburger and one chicken tender for dinner as a 36yo woman when what you really want—and what would be healthier for you—is the salmon, or the salad with goat cheese, or the gnocchi with brown sage butter.

But what I really want is to make sure all the food I paid for gets eaten. And I like cheeseburgers and chicken tenders. So it’s a win win for me. Smart, savvy, satisfied.

Then why don’t you save the food for the next day’s lunch, for the kids or for you? Then you can have a meal that maybe has some fresh greens, some vegetables, and some kind of care in preparation beyond quickly heating up something off the Sysco truck? If you’re going to pay a mark-up for food, your kids might as well enjoy it twice.

So you’ve never been an adventurous eater? If not, I guess this is a great way to cover up for pickiness as an adult…

I have tried this a thousand times and we are lucky if 1/3rd of the leftovers get eaten in my family.

Why don’t you eat them since you already enjoy scavenging?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm really curious how the server reacts when you are sitting at a restaurant and don't order food?

If the server has anything more than a fleeting thought of "oh my tip might be $2 smaller because the bill will be smaller", then maybe they should talk to management about portion sizes?

NP here who often gets a cocktail and something very small to eat because I eat my kids' food: the server should be more grateful that I drink. They probably care more about that and would prefer people who are ordering drinks vs an entire family who just drinks water.

Only on DCUM would someone think to brag about drinking tons of alcohol and not eating any food.

"I have a few drinks and a scrap of crust before I drive my kids home! Eating in public is très gauche !"

Hopefully DH is driving home...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:curious if others do this. I just can't handle either the food waste or the expense, so I basically never order. I know the kids wont ever finish their food despite their insistence they will. I was like - I cannot be the only one.

I do not want to eat what they order. We just take home the left overs and they have it for lunch the next day.

[Anonymous]

Wow I can’t believe OP is still come back and defending this weirdness. It’s a free country! No one can make you order a meal (well actually I guess the restaurant manager could give you the choice of doing that or leaving but they won’t realistically). But it’s a really ridiculous choice. You already said your family finds you weird and cheap. I still remember an older cousin doing this while out to eat with our family doing and eating her toddler’s scraps when I was like 8 so a good 30 years ago. My mom was SO humiliated and tried not to show but leaving a huge tip to try to compensate. It’s weird and awkward for everyone else but it sounds like you prefer that to wasting any food at all (or eating it later, which I really can’t understand either). I posted earlier that I really think you should stop going to restaurants and I still feel that way. It sounds like you’re miserable and making everyone else uncomfortable.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Wow I can’t believe OP is still come back and defending this weirdness. It’s a free country! No one can make you order a meal (well actually I guess the restaurant manager could give you the choice of doing that or leaving but they won’t realistically). But it’s a really ridiculous choice. You already said your family finds you weird and cheap. I still remember an older cousin doing this while out to eat with our family doing and eating her toddler’s scraps when I was like 8 so a good 30 years ago. My mom was SO humiliated and tried not to show but leaving a huge tip to try to compensate. It’s weird and awkward for everyone else but it sounds like you prefer that to wasting any food at all (or eating it later, which I really can’t understand either). I posted earlier that I really think you should stop going to restaurants and I still feel that way. It sounds like you’re miserable and making everyone else uncomfortable.

Yeah, I agree that an adult not ordering when a group is at a restaurant makes everyone a bit uncomfortable, including the server and the other people are the table. Other people at the table, bc now is it our responsibility to leave scraps of food for this person to eat? The server bc they want everyone to order good food and enjoy.

The fact that when you flip the genders this question becomes completely unfathomable (is there any man out there who doesn't order food when out with their family?) makes me think that there is a subconscious gendered element to this, which makes it a feminist issue. Order the food you want, moms.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:No, when mine were little I'd sometimes get meals to share but no, that's silly. Get your kids kids meals or have them share.

op - where we live there are very few kid meal type restaurants, and everything is super expensive.

Can you explain where you're eating? I think one time I have ever not gotten my own food and it's because I wasn't hungry and figured I'd be fine picking at whatever was left over. Otherwise, why should I[b][i] be the only one who doesn't get to eat what the want?!