Anonymous wrote:I could never abort in that situation, but many people obviously would. Your child could also be extremely easily placed via adoption — this is literally most adoptive parents dream scenario (stable, non addict mother who genuinely voluntarily chooses not to parent despite having the means to), if you wanted to go that route. It’s really ultimately how you personally feel about it.
NP, I would so much rather have an abortion than know my child is somewhere out there in the world in the care of strangers. I have no problem terminating the growth of a few cells, but it would kill me to carry a pregnancy to term and then hand over my baby. Call me selfish. I don’t care. You have to be very cold to just hand over your living, breathing baby and go on like nothing happened.
I agree, I would think about them and imagine what it would’ve been like frequently.
There are open adoptions now.
PP, you really do not get it, do you? It would be worse for me if I knew who the adoptive parents were. I think the jealousy and worry would swallow me whole. I would care that I had handed over custody of my child to someone else. I would care about what sorts of things that occurred in their home that I might disagree with, not illegal things, just differences in opinions about how to raise a child and on life philosophy in general. I would care that they and not I would have authority over the person that I had brought into the world genetically and physiologically. I am not a dog to be bred.
Again, I stand firmly by my original statement that I would much, much rather terminate the growth of an embryo than to hand my child over into someone else’s hands. I couldn’t live with that. It would break my heart.
No, you changed your original statement. Your statement was "I would so much rather have an abortion than know my child is somewhere out there in the world in the care of strangers." When open adoption was brought up, which can have lots of contact, you changed your statement to "It would be worse for me if I knew who the adoptive parents were." There is no logical consistency to what you're saying. Also, you don't sound at all concerned for your child in these scenarios, it's really just about how you and your potential feelings of jealousy. If you're "not a dog to be bred" as you so aptly put it, perhaps should stop behaving like one. You're the one doing this to yourself. Have you considered sterilization?
First off, I am not the OP and I am not pregnant. I have never had an unwanted pregnancy, but I am realistic and have considered what I would do in that circumstance.
I would have an abortion. That is the only option for me. I am not okay with having a full term pregnancy and then just handing off my baby to anyone. Period!!!!
There is logical consistency in what I’m saying. You just do not want to hear it because you are Pro-Life and adamantly against abortion. That’s why you dropped in here to open our eyes to the previously unheard of option of adoption. It’s like no one here could have imagined this magical solution before you mentioned it.
Get this through your head: I would not be okay wondering about my child in the hands of total strangers and I would not be okay wondering about how another woman (that I’d met a few times) was raising my child in an open adoption. Both ways would be thoroughly unacceptable and incredibly painful to me.) I’m not some cold, insensitive mare/dog/breeding animal that can have a baby and then just hand it off.
No, I am not concerned about an embryo of several weeks. That is why I would have an abortion easily and without regret in the case of an unwanted pregnancy. I do not consider the embryo to be a child. I consider it to be a collection of cells that needs my body to potentially become a child.
You don’t get to control what other women do with their bodies. We’re not breeders to make children for other couples. The fact that you call me selfish is highly hypocritical. You’re the selfish one here. You want to force other women to carry pregnancies to term, so that you can steal their kids. That’s disgusting.
The more you repeatedly compare yourself to a dog and a broodmare, the more mentally ill you seem. Why do you allow men to treat you like that? I wasn't kidding when I suggested that you seek sterilization, for your sake as much as any potential child's.
Oh shut up! I’m a married 48 year old mother of two and my husband got a vasectomy years ago. I’m not going to be getting pregnant anytime soon.
I am just trying to explain to you that adoption is not a viable option for most women. I would never, under any circumstance, give my child up. NEVER!!!! If I were a pregnant 16 year old and abortion were illegal, I still wouldn’t give my kid away. I would find a way to take care of my child.
You have this very repressive dogma and cannot see beyond it. Giving their child up for adoption isn’t a choice that many women are willing to make and you cannot force them to, with or without abortion on the table. Most of us would be too bonded with our baby to hand em over to you. Don’t you get that?!?
Stop treating women like mares, you biatch!!!!
I'm sorry you have so much trauma from your abortion. I imagine you are thinking about it more as you reach the end of your reproductive years and wondering what might have been. I really wish you healing.
Oh my God, now you’re just grasping at straws to try to fit your narrative. I have never had an abortion or an unwanted pregnancy. I wanted two kids and I had two kids, easily. Stop trying to make crap up because you don’t like what I’m saying. The fact is very few kids are up for adoption in America, especially not babies.
Most women will not willingly give their children up for adoption. There used to be a stigma for being an unwed mom, so women used to do it to save face. But it was traumatic for many of them. The stigma no longer exists. Likewise, the government provides a social safety net for these children in their biological homes.
If I had faced an unwanted pregnancy, I would have had an abortion. I wasn’t ready to be a mom until I was older. But if abortion were illegal, I still, sure as hell wouldn’t give my kid away. That’s a very cold, heartless thing to do. I couldn’t live with myself if I had done that. An abortion, in the first couple of weeks, however, would not have bothered me in the slightest. I would not feel traumatized from taking a few pills and having an especially heavy period. I would, however, feel traumatized with handing my infant over to another woman.
The statistics on abortions and adoptions reflect that the majority of women feel the way I do. Accept it and move on and focus on your life.
But you won’t, instead you’ll make up some weird story in your head and try to change the narrative to fit your baby stealing agenda.
Q anon has entered the thread.
Yep, there it is. Instead of trying to just hear an opposing opinion, you’ve narrowed in on the sarcasm instead of the message.
You want women with unwanted pregnancies to give their kids up for adoption. Most of them do not want to and you cannot make them.
Accept that fact and move on!!!!!
You keep referencing some big baby stealing agenda. You're an unhinged conspiracy theorist who is spreading disinformation. I would write more, but I have to go take my adrenochrome now.
No, I don’t. I keep saying what you do not want to hear: the majority of women, who have unwanted pregnancies, do not want to give their babies up for adoption. You cannot force them to do so.
I will repeat as necessary until you manage to get this message through your thick skull.
Yes, you've referenced a big baby stealing agenda several times. This isn't just nonsense, it's a lie that hurts people and it needs to be called out. I will assume that you falling for Q anon is a function of the natural cognitive decline that comes with age, but there's really no good excuse.
Oh my god, stop trying to change the subject and talk about Q anon. You’re trying to make it look like you’re not a huge Christian prolifer, with a massive agenda, but it’s not working.
I will repeat: the majority of women who face an unwanted pregnancy do not want to and will not proceed to give their child up for adoption. You cannot make them do so.
Accept this FACT and move on with your life.
The crazy does not disappoint. "A huge Christian prolifer with a massive agenda." What agenda? A "baby stealing agenda." The Christians are here to steal your babies, and it really scares this 48 year old whose husband had a vasectomy yet somehow thinks everyone wants her babies.
Do I have to spell this out for you? Okay, I will. You think abortion is wrong and that unmarried women who have unwanted pregnancies should give their children up for adoption instead. That is your agenda.
Does that clear things up?
I didn't say any of those things. But I will spell this out for you: You've created many strawmen, and have predictably got very emotional and attached to the strawmen that you've created. There are several posters playing you here and it's hilarious. You're such a tool.
Have you noticed that all you do is throw out insults? Particularly when you are called out for your bs?
You started up with adoption. When I said that I would rather have an abortion instead of giving my child up for adoption, you came in “kindly” suggesting open adoption. When I said that would never be feasible for me, either, you wrote the following:
“If you're "not a dog to be bred" as you so aptly put it, perhaps should stop behaving like one. You're the one doing this to yourself. Have you considered sterilization?”
You said this because I said that I would never, under any circumstances, give my child up. How is that behaving like a dog?
How exactly am I supposed to interpret your statements? First you suggest adoption. Then you suggest open adoption. Then you start to act like a rabid dog when both are rejected as viable choices for most women? Then you start to talk about Q anon and strawmen and all sorts of nonsense.
You and your message are see through and clear. You want to control other women’s bodies and choices.
I don’t give two craps about how many people are allegedly playing me on here. I care so much about abortion rights that I will proudly get played over and over again and long as my message is also heard. Often the best choice for an unwanted pregnancy is an abortion.
There are multiple posters on this thread. The first post I made was a single sentence: There are open adoptions now. Then you went off and compared yourself to a dog to be bred. You've said some bizarre things, accusing posters of wanting to breed you like a mare or steal babies in response to them pointing out inconsistencies in your logic. If you're not a troll, you need some serious help.
There you go again, changing the topic. You suggested open adoption. I said that wasn’t an option for me. I did use the metaphor of saying that women I wasn’t a dog to be bred. For some reason, you have fixated on this allusion, but have missed the main point. I will clarify it again and again until you get it:
Most women, when faced with an unwanted pregnancy, do not want to and will not give their children up for adoption. It makes no difference whether or not the adoption is open or closed. Adoption is not a desirable for most women, while abortion is. The stats reflect this realty. When given the choice, women choose to terminate their unwanted pregnancies. FACT!!!!
I was in exactly the same situation many years ago. Seriously considered abortion, but didn’t have stomach for it. I felt like it would haunt me for the rest of my life and I would always be counting birthdays of my unborn child. It absolutely gives me chills right now to think I could have done that, and not have the gift of having DC in my life.
OP if you go with abortion, make sure you are going to be ok living with that decision. It will not undo your pregnancy. You will still have to mention it at every new doctor’s appointment.
Don’t listen to anyone (ESPECIALLY on this board) but listen to you heart and gut feeling. And don’t rush into any decisions! You have time to think it over.
This is the worst reason for an abortion. We always hear “save the life of the mother” & “it will ruin someone’s life who can’t afford it.” But this discussion reveals that was all B.S. to get the slippery slope started so irresponsible women can have their cake & eat it too.
Keep it or give it up for adoption, but you got yourself into this—don’t make someone else pay to get you out of it.
Anonymous wrote:I could never abort in that situation, but many people obviously would. Your child could also be extremely easily placed via adoption — this is literally most adoptive parents dream scenario (stable, non addict mother who genuinely voluntarily chooses not to parent despite having the means to), if you wanted to go that route. It’s really ultimately how you personally feel about it.
NP, I would so much rather have an abortion than know my child is somewhere out there in the world in the care of strangers. I have no problem terminating the growth of a few cells, but it would kill me to carry a pregnancy to term and then hand over my baby. Call me selfish. I don’t care. You have to be very cold to just hand over your living, breathing baby and go on like nothing happened.
+1. When I had an abortion of an unplanned pregnancy, the thought of adoption didn’t even cross my mind. If I carry the baby, I get to keep it.
Anonymous wrote:I was in exactly the same situation many years ago. Seriously considered abortion, but didn’t have stomach for it. I felt like it would haunt me for the rest of my life and I would always be counting birthdays of my unborn child. It absolutely gives me chills right now to think I could have done that, and not have the gift of having DC in my life.
OP if you go with abortion, make sure you are going to be ok living with that decision. It will not undo your pregnancy. You will still have to mention it at every new doctor’s appointment.
Don’t listen to anyone (ESPECIALLY on this board) but listen to you heart and gut feeling. And don’t rush into any decisions! You have time to think it over.
Don’t lie. You absolutely do not have to mention an abortion at doctor’s appointments. I have had one, have not had the need to mention it to anyone in decades.
No regrets about my decision by the way.
Have a family and two lovely DCs that are my everything.
Anonymous wrote:No birth control option is 100% effective and ~40% of pregnancies in the US are unintended. So PPs who are blaming the OP without knowing details should get off their high horses. I suspect there are more unintended pregnancies among your friends and families than you suspect- people just don’t tell to avoid judgement.
OP- good luck with whatever decision you make. As a parent of a kid with a slew of diagnoses, also given some thought to how you would handle a kid with special needs.
Well, the vasectomy is 100% effective. More guys should get those.
None of my educated friends have had unexpected pregnancies while dating. And this is a large group. Very educated, feminists that know how to prevent and not leave it up to a man to control the BC. In fact, many were using BC before they decided to have sex for the first time because they didn't want to derail their future plans.
A lot of the women I know that got pregnant unexpectedly ...it wasn't so unexpected. They are just surprised it happened. Some even subconsciously?? wanted to force a guy's hand.
People don’t normally share their abortion stories u less you ate super close. Other than my husband, only my best friend knows about it. Not my sister nor parents, not my children and definitely no other friends. My doctor doesn’t need to know about it either.
So PP, you would be surprised. Oh yah, I am educated and accomplished too.
OP, if you decide to keep the pregnancy, you could lie to the guy (if he is a deadbeat) that you’ve had a miscarriage.
Then move to another part of the country and cease all contact. Raise your child as a single mother. Tell them that you used a sperm donor when they are old enough and curious.
Do not tie your life to a loser or someone you dislike. I would either choose this or abortion. The rest if the options are bad imo.
Anonymous wrote:Reading all the posts there is a lot of unprotected sex going on crazy.
For me, it isnt about unprotected sex but the women that are not on birth control but are sexually active. Birth control is cheap and readily available in any form! Morning after pill can be found next to the candy aisle…. Like wtf
Not for long. Trump wins and you can kiss that goodbye.
Anonymous wrote:OP, if you decide to keep the pregnancy, you could lie to the guy (if he is a deadbeat) that you’ve had a miscarriage.
Then move to another part of the country and cease all contact. Raise your child as a single mother. Tell them that you used a sperm donor when they are old enough and curious.
Do not tie your life to a loser or someone you dislike. I would either choose this or abortion. The rest if the options are bad imo.
This is great until the kid takes a DNA test in 20 years and goes knocking on the guys door (happened to my neighbor). Bonus kid! That doesn’t benefit anyone.
Anonymous wrote:OP, if you decide to keep the pregnancy, you could lie to the guy (if he is a deadbeat) that you’ve had a miscarriage.
Then move to another part of the country and cease all contact. Raise your child as a single mother. Tell them that you used a sperm donor when they are old enough and curious.
Do not tie your life to a loser or someone you dislike. I would either choose this or abortion. The rest if the options are bad imo.
This is great until the kid takes a DNA test in 20 years and goes knocking on the guys door (happened to my neighbor). Bonus kid! That doesn’t benefit anyone.
This is seriously something OP should keep in mind. People now can locate birth parents FAR more easily than ever. And OP herself (or the baby's father) would never even have to have taken any DNA test themselves. If even a relative of theirs takes a DNA test just for genealogy hobby reasons--that can lead the kid she put up for adoption to find her. It can rock a person's entire world and cause profound family problems.
Anonymous wrote:I was in exactly the same situation many years ago. Seriously considered abortion, but didn’t have stomach for it. I felt like it would haunt me for the rest of my life and I would always be counting birthdays of my unborn child. It absolutely gives me chills right now to think I could have done that, and not have the gift of having DC in my life.
OP if you go with abortion, make sure you are going to be ok living with that decision. It will not undo your pregnancy. You will still have to mention it at every new doctor’s appointment.
Don’t listen to anyone (ESPECIALLY on this board) but listen to you heart and gut feeling. And don’t rush into any decisions! You have time to think it over.
Don’t lie. You absolutely do not have to mention an abortion at doctor’s appointments. I have had one, have not had the need to mention it to anyone in decades.
No regrets about my decision by the way.
Have a family and two lovely DCs that are my everything.
Every new doctor asks me how many pregnancies and how many children. Aborted pregnancy is still a pregnancy.
Anonymous wrote:I was in exactly the same situation many years ago. Seriously considered abortion, but didn’t have stomach for it. I felt like it would haunt me for the rest of my life and I would always be counting birthdays of my unborn child. It absolutely gives me chills right now to think I could have done that, and not have the gift of having DC in my life.
OP if you go with abortion, make sure you are going to be ok living with that decision. It will not undo your pregnancy. You will still have to mention it at every new doctor’s appointment.
Don’t listen to anyone (ESPECIALLY on this board) but listen to you heart and gut feeling. And don’t rush into any decisions! You have time to think it over.
Don’t lie. You absolutely do not have to mention an abortion at doctor’s appointments. I have had one, have not had the need to mention it to anyone in decades.
No regrets about my decision by the way.
Have a family and two lovely DCs that are my everything.
Every new doctor asks me how many pregnancies and how many children. Aborted pregnancy is still a pregnancy.
I had infertility and 1 living child out of 6 pregnancies. Nobody asks how many pregnancies you’ve had, except maybe a new gynecologist or some kind of reproductive specialist. You also don’t HAVE to answer those questions unless it’s directly relevant to your medical care, you know.
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