Social media bragging

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As a parent of older swimmers, pls don’t ever post about your kid winning when they are age group swimmers. Swimming is a long game and you don’t want your kid’s identity to be about the winning - Even to grandparents or close friends who will love your kid no matter what. If your kid continues to succeed, the older accomplishments will likely get highlighted by their high school or college. And if they quit or fall off, you will be grateful you didn’t define them by their wins when they were younger so your kid now feels like a failure.

Celebrate age group champs with your kid in person (be proud of the work ethic, being a good teammate, race strategy and time drop) but don’t lose sight of the fact the swimming is for them, not for you. Your job is to raise a kind human and good citizen who can function in society. Their success in swimming is their own and not yours.

Sanest swim parent ever. Bravo!

+1. This is the correct attitude. It is 100% right that if your child has long-term success, it will be recognized by outside entities. The braggy parents think they are just being supportive and proud by sharing their kids' successes widely. Kids will feel that, even if it's subconscious, as pressure to keep succeeding whether you mean it to or not. I have seen firsthand how damaging the parental overinvestment is for athletes whose peak success was in their younger years. They feel that they are disappointing their parents when they fall off their previous trajectory and the sport stops being a positive experience for them. Kids aren't stupid. If they see you are so invested in what they are doing that you're posting about it on social media, they are going to feel pressure.

What other parents think about your posts is not what matters. The kind of message the child gets from your posting is what you need to worry about.

Well, life is a long game. I guess we should never post about any accomplishment/milestone as it will be seen as undue pressure on our child. We should never celebrate any accomplishments, big or small. I guess every child is a snowflake and should never experience failure or disappointment.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As a parent of older swimmers, pls don’t ever post about your kid winning when they are age group swimmers. Swimming is a long game and you don’t want your kid’s identity to be about the winning - Even to grandparents or close friends who will love your kid no matter what. If your kid continues to succeed, the older accomplishments will likely get highlighted by their high school or college. And if they quit or fall off, you will be grateful you didn’t define them by their wins when they were younger so your kid now feels like a failure.

Celebrate age group champs with your kid in person (be proud of the work ethic, being a good teammate, race strategy and time drop) but don’t lose sight of the fact the swimming is for them, not for you. Your job is to raise a kind human and good citizen who can function in society. Their success in swimming is their own and not yours.

Sanest swim parent ever. Bravo!

+1. This is the correct attitude. It is 100% right that if your child has long-term success, it will be recognized by outside entities. The braggy parents think they are just being supportive and proud by sharing their kids' successes widely. Kids will feel that, even if it's subconscious, as pressure to keep succeeding whether you mean it to or not. I have seen firsthand how damaging the parental overinvestment is for athletes whose peak success was in their younger years. They feel that they are disappointing their parents when they fall off their previous trajectory and the sport stops being a positive experience for them. Kids aren't stupid. If they see you are so invested in what they are doing that you're posting about it on social media, they are going to feel pressure.

What other parents think about your posts is not what matters. The kind of message the child gets from your posting is what you need to worry about.

Well, life is a long game. I guess we should never post about any accomplishment/milestone as it will be seen as undue pressure on our child. We should never celebrate any accomplishments, big or small. I guess every child is a snowflake and should never experience failure or disappointment.

Yes clown you are adding to the pressure

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As a parent of older swimmers, pls don’t ever post about your kid winning when they are age group swimmers. Swimming is a long game and you don’t want your kid’s identity to be about the winning - Even to grandparents or close friends who will love your kid no matter what. If your kid continues to succeed, the older accomplishments will likely get highlighted by their high school or college. And if they quit or fall off, you will be grateful you didn’t define them by their wins when they were younger so your kid now feels like a failure.

Celebrate age group champs with your kid in person (be proud of the work ethic, being a good teammate, race strategy and time drop) but don’t lose sight of the fact the swimming is for them, not for you. Your job is to raise a kind human and good citizen who can function in society. Their success in swimming is their own and not yours.

Sanest swim parent ever. Bravo!

+1. This is the correct attitude. It is 100% right that if your child has long-term success, it will be recognized by outside entities. The braggy parents think they are just being supportive and proud by sharing their kids' successes widely. Kids will feel that, even if it's subconscious, as pressure to keep succeeding whether you mean it to or not. I have seen firsthand how damaging the parental overinvestment is for athletes whose peak success was in their younger years. They feel that they are disappointing their parents when they fall off their previous trajectory and the sport stops being a positive experience for them. Kids aren't stupid. If they see you are so invested in what they are doing that you're posting about it on social media, they are going to feel pressure.

What other parents think about your posts is not what matters. The kind of message the child gets from your posting is what you need to worry about.

Well, life is a long game. I guess we should never post about any accomplishment/milestone as it will be seen as undue pressure on our child. We should never celebrate any accomplishments, big or small. I guess every child is a snowflake and should never experience failure or disappointment.

Why is the idea of not posting so scary to you?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:As a swim parent, today I am blown away after SC champs at the level of intense, shameless bragging by some other swim parents about their kid's performance. I'm talking multiple pictures, video, time standards reports, MeetMobile screen shots, and in one case, even a specific mention of who their kid beat! Then all the comments and likes that further encourage this behavior - it's mind blowing. I have to admit, I am feeling very differently about a few people who have shocked me with their tacky, tasteless bragging and carrying on. I know, I know - just stay off social media, don't look if you don't like it, etc. But I have seen it now and I just really have to wonder about the psychology of these parents. Is is living vicariously or some deep insecurity? I have to wonder what it does to the kids. These are young children, who knows what the future holds for them athletically or otherwise. It's just so interesting that people feel the need to brag so outwardly. I would be so embarrassed. Anyway, just had to share my shock.

I know a particular family who has done this for at least six or seven years. What's hilarious is their two girls have plateaued if not regressed vis a vis their age range. They appeared to be regional prodigies in their tweens and early teens, but in high school, while the family is still swim obsessed and shamelessly braggy, the girls don't win or perform anywhere near the level they used to. But the mum and dad still frame their Facebook bragging the same way to make the girls sound like they're setting the world on fire. I guess people who don't know swimming are none the wiser because the responses under the bragging seem to think the girls are like D1-bound rock stars or something. It's all so pathetic.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As a swim parent, today I am blown away after SC champs at the level of intense, shameless bragging by some other swim parents about their kid's performance. I'm talking multiple pictures, video, time standards reports, MeetMobile screen shots, and in one case, even a specific mention of who their kid beat! Then all the comments and likes that further encourage this behavior - it's mind blowing. I have to admit, I am feeling very differently about a few people who have shocked me with their tacky, tasteless bragging and carrying on. I know, I know - just stay off social media, don't look if you don't like it, etc. But I have seen it now and I just really have to wonder about the psychology of these parents. Is is living vicariously or some deep insecurity? I have to wonder what it does to the kids. These are young children, who knows what the future holds for them athletically or otherwise. It's just so interesting that people feel the need to brag so outwardly. I would be so embarrassed. Anyway, just had to share my shock.

I know a particular family who has done this for at least six or seven years. What's hilarious is their two girls have plateaued if not regressed vis a vis their age range. They appeared to be regional prodigies in their tweens and early teens, but in high school, while the family is still swim obsessed and shamelessly braggy, the girls don't win or perform anywhere near the level they used to. But the mum and dad still frame their Facebook bragging the same way to make the girls sound like they're setting the world on fire. I guess people who don't know swimming are none the wiser because the responses under the bragging seem to think the girls are like D1-bound rock stars or something. It's all so pathetic.

I know a family like this. They bragged so much that people who don’t know the sport thought the girl was headed for a college scholarship or the Olympics. They posted a video of her last race at the high school state meet in a small state. I could see her name and time on the scoreboard… a 1:03 100 freestyle. Yet people were still commenting “oh what’s next college swimming” because the parents had made SUCH a big deal posting about all her meets all those years.

I wonder if this is why some people do this… they know most of their FB friends don’t really know much and will be so impressed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As a swim parent, today I am blown away after SC champs at the level of intense, shameless bragging by some other swim parents about their kid's performance. I'm talking multiple pictures, video, time standards reports, MeetMobile screen shots, and in one case, even a specific mention of who their kid beat! Then all the comments and likes that further encourage this behavior - it's mind blowing. I have to admit, I am feeling very differently about a few people who have shocked me with their tacky, tasteless bragging and carrying on. I know, I know - just stay off social media, don't look if you don't like it, etc. But I have seen it now and I just really have to wonder about the psychology of these parents. Is is living vicariously or some deep insecurity? I have to wonder what it does to the kids. These are young children, who knows what the future holds for them athletically or otherwise. It's just so interesting that people feel the need to brag so outwardly. I would be so embarrassed. Anyway, just had to share my shock.

I know a particular family who has done this for at least six or seven years. What's hilarious is their two girls have plateaued if not regressed vis a vis their age range. They appeared to be regional prodigies in their tweens and early teens, but in high school, while the family is still swim obsessed and shamelessly braggy, the girls don't win or perform anywhere near the level they used to. But the mum and dad still frame their Facebook bragging the same way to make the girls sound like they're setting the world on fire. I guess people who don't know swimming are none the wiser because the responses under the bragging seem to think the girls are like D1-bound rock stars or something. It's all so pathetic.

I know a family like this. They bragged so much that people who don’t know the sport thought the girl was headed for a college scholarship or the Olympics. They posted a video of her last race at the high school state meet in a small state. I could see her name and time on the scoreboard… a 1:03 100 freestyle. Yet people were still commenting “oh what’s next college swimming” because the parents had made SUCH a big deal posting about all her meets all those years.

I wonder if this is why some people do this… they know most of their FB friends don’t really know much and will be so impressed.

Maybe, just maybe, those parents are really proud of their kids. Even if they (gasp) only swim a 1:03 in 100 freestyle.

I feel bad for your kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As a swim parent, today I am blown away after SC champs at the level of intense, shameless bragging by some other swim parents about their kid's performance. I'm talking multiple pictures, video, time standards reports, MeetMobile screen shots, and in one case, even a specific mention of who their kid beat! Then all the comments and likes that further encourage this behavior - it's mind blowing. I have to admit, I am feeling very differently about a few people who have shocked me with their tacky, tasteless bragging and carrying on. I know, I know - just stay off social media, don't look if you don't like it, etc. But I have seen it now and I just really have to wonder about the psychology of these parents. Is is living vicariously or some deep insecurity? I have to wonder what it does to the kids. These are young children, who knows what the future holds for them athletically or otherwise. It's just so interesting that people feel the need to brag so outwardly. I would be so embarrassed. Anyway, just had to share my shock.

I know a particular family who has done this for at least six or seven years. What's hilarious is their two girls have plateaued if not regressed vis a vis their age range. They appeared to be regional prodigies in their tweens and early teens, but in high school, while the family is still swim obsessed and shamelessly braggy, the girls don't win or perform anywhere near the level they used to. But the mum and dad still frame their Facebook bragging the same way to make the girls sound like they're setting the world on fire. I guess people who don't know swimming are none the wiser because the responses under the bragging seem to think the girls are like D1-bound rock stars or something. It's all so pathetic.

I know a family like this. They bragged so much that people who don’t know the sport thought the girl was headed for a college scholarship or the Olympics. They posted a video of her last race at the high school state meet in a small state. I could see her name and time on the scoreboard… a 1:03 100 freestyle. Yet people were still commenting “oh what’s next college swimming” because the parents had made SUCH a big deal posting about all her meets all those years.

I wonder if this is why some people do this… they know most of their FB friends don’t really know much and will be so impressed.

Maybe, just maybe, those parents are really proud of their kids. Even if they (gasp) only swim a 1:03 in 100 freestyle.

I feel bad for your kids.

Ah yes, your kids don't know you're proud of them unless you spam oversharing and braggy play-by-play of their youth sports "careers" to 1,000 family and "friends" (if not the entire internet, if your privacy settings aren't on).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As a parent of older swimmers, pls don’t ever post about your kid winning when they are age group swimmers. Swimming is a long game and you don’t want your kid’s identity to be about the winning - Even to grandparents or close friends who will love your kid no matter what. If your kid continues to succeed, the older accomplishments will likely get highlighted by their high school or college. And if they quit or fall off, you will be grateful you didn’t define them by their wins when they were younger so your kid now feels like a failure.

Celebrate age group champs with your kid in person (be proud of the work ethic, being a good teammate, race strategy and time drop) but don’t lose sight of the fact the swimming is for them, not for you. Your job is to raise a kind human and good citizen who can function in society. Their success in swimming is their own and not yours.

Sanest swim parent ever. Bravo!

+1. This is the correct attitude. It is 100% right that if your child has long-term success, it will be recognized by outside entities. The braggy parents think they are just being supportive and proud by sharing their kids' successes widely. Kids will feel that, even if it's subconscious, as pressure to keep succeeding whether you mean it to or not. I have seen firsthand how damaging the parental overinvestment is for athletes whose peak success was in their younger years. They feel that they are disappointing their parents when they fall off their previous trajectory and the sport stops being a positive experience for them. Kids aren't stupid. If they see you are so invested in what they are doing that you're posting about it on social media, they are going to feel pressure.

What other parents think about your posts is not what matters. The kind of message the child gets from your posting is what you need to worry about.

Well, life is a long game. I guess we should never post about any accomplishment/milestone as it will be seen as undue pressure on our child. We should never celebrate any accomplishments, big or small. I guess every child is a snowflake and should never experience failure or disappointment.

Yes clown you are adding to the pressure

Yes, I am a clown. What are you going to do about? Seriously, I hope you are teaching your kids its' not nice to call people names, even on an anonymous forum.

[Anonymous]

If you enter enough events, especially lower caliber events, every swimmer can pick up some top 3 finishes. Many swim parents have kids who aren't even top 100 for their age in the state or commonwealth, yet sandbag these low run events to brag like they're dominating and being recruiting by Duke. If anything, their kid will be swimming as a walk-on at some podunk d3 college that doesn't cut as long as you're current on tuition.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If you enter enough events, especially lower caliber events, every swimmer can pick up some top 3 finishes. Many swim parents have kids who aren't even top 100 for their age in the state or commonwealth, yet sandbag these low run events to brag like they're dominating and being recruiting by Duke. If anything, their kid will be swimming as a walk-on at some podunk d3 college that doesn't cut as long as you're current on tuition.

I am Not for bragging but this post goes too far. Why would you be mean about walk ins or d3 swimmers?

[Anonymous]

^^ There are some amazing DIII schools for kids who favor academics above athletics. There are also DI schools that no one will have ever heard of.

[Anonymous]

How about all the people who don’t like social media posts just stay off social media and let the people who like social media posts live in peace?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How about all the people who don’t like social media posts just stay off social media and let the people who like social media posts live in peace?

Because some of us who like social media posts in general, don’t like braggy social media posts.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you enter enough events, especially lower caliber events, every swimmer can pick up some top 3 finishes. Many swim parents have kids who aren't even top 100 for their age in the state or commonwealth, yet sandbag these low rung events to brag like they're dominating and being recruiting by Duke. If anything, their kid will be swimming as a walk-on at some podunk d3 college that doesn't cut as long as you're current on tuition.

I am Not for bragging but this post goes too far. Why would you be mean about walk ins or d3 swimmers?

Most podunk d3s exist because families are only going there and paying expensive tuition to keep the student-athlete dream alive. I thought this was common knowledge?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I grew up running track and cross country. I love seeing posts from my friends and colleagues who have kids who are now amazing runners. I look forward to seeing their results and how well they did. I love seeing my friends athletic accomplishment (even in their 40s and 50s). I find it motivational and am happy to show support for their hard work. I understand how a blow by blow every single weekend might be too much but I’m also mindboggled at how insecure and jealous people are of others accomplishments. There is nothing wrong with celebrating and acknowledging big moments. Unfollow if you don’t like it.

Oh, honey. You’re projecting again.