No kids wedding...except there were kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We went way out of our way to go to a wedding, brought the kids because there is no where to leave them, found a babysitter in the wedding town and arrive to see tons of kids at the wedding. They were all "in the wedding party" but still I was really pet peeved to see that they basically allowed the entire grooms family to bring their kids and no one else.

Is that normal? I thought no kids meant 0 kids not even in the wedding party.

Since you don't mention it - how are you related to the bride or groom (hopefully not both...)?

They are allowed to have their nieces and nephews at a wedding but not want other people's kids there.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We went way out of our way to go to a wedding, brought the kids because there is no where to leave them, found a babysitter in the wedding town and arrive to see tons of kids at the wedding. They were all "in the wedding party" but still I was really pet peeved to see that they basically allowed the entire grooms family to bring their kids and no one else.

Is that normal? I thought no kids meant 0 kids not even in the wedding party.

Why is this in quotes? They were in the wedding party. Fact. They were therefore probably important to the bride and groom. This isn't rocket science.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think this issue here was transparency. If you say you are having a kid free wedding, that is what guests expect. And when they have gone out of their way to accommodate that and then find out that you made an exception for 10 kids, they will be annoyed. The bride and groom decide who to invite, but if my kids aren’t invited and other people’s are, I will decline if it is a hassle for me to attend without my kids. Clearly, in that scenario, the bride and groom value other people more than me (as is their right), so I get to decide how much inconvenience I am willing to put up with for them.

Bottom line, don’t lie to your guests to get them to come to your wedding.

My husband and I were recently invited to a wedding; my children were not. It never occurred to me to wonder or ask whether any other kids would be there. When I arrived, I didn’t sniff around to find out if that 6yo eating cake at Table 3 was the bride’s niece/the child of the sister in the wedding party. Know why? Because I was at Table 4, enjoying my own damn cake.

What is wrong with you people, honestly? Sometimes, DH and I attend wedding and have my parents stay with our kids. In some cases, the one of us directly connected to the bride or groom attends the wedding, and the other one of us stays home with the kids. If our kids are invited, great! If not, fine. An invitation is not a summons, and so we know if attending would be a hardship, we decline. Or one of us goes. Or both of us go and we eat cake and have hotel sex.

Honestly, again, what is wrong with you hall monitor types?

Oh come on. The OP didn’t have half the resources you do, yet she still went, brought her husband, and got a babysitter for her child. She’s not even going to get to have hotel sex because the kid is going to be there. What else do you want her to do?

Not complain about other kids being there? Pretty simple, really.
-NP

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We went way out of our way to go to a wedding, brought the kids because there is no where to leave them, found a babysitter in the wedding town and arrive to see tons of kids at the wedding. They were all "in the wedding party" but still I was really pet peeved to see that they basically allowed the entire grooms family to bring their kids and no one else.

Is that normal? I thought no kids meant 0 kids not even in the wedding party.

Why is this in quotes? They were in the wedding party. Fact. They were therefore probably important to the bride and groom. This isn't rocket science.

Maybe OP is just mad that the groom's nieces and nephews were in the wedding party but OP's kids were not. She's probably the bride's cousin or something and it hasn't occurred to her that she might not be as close to the couple or they might not have as vested an interesting including her kids.

It honestly doesn't even sound like OP wanted to go to this wedding. I had this issue with a handful of people who were invited to my wedding. It's like they resented the imposition but, there was no imposition. That's why the RSVP card has a little space where you can say "no, I can't come." You aren't required to buy a gift, either.

People talk about bridezillas but IME guestzillas are common. People are so weird about weddings.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This thread is ridiculous. Your kids aren’t entitled to an invite.

If only you could read....nobody is saying kids are entitled to be invited. The OP was saying that she was rightfully annoyed that the bride/groom lied to her about this issue.

NP. Show me exactly where OP said she was literally told by the bride and groom this was 100% a child free wedding, guaranteed. Oh wait, you can’t because not even OP said that happened. Seems like OP simply ASSumed that not her kids = guaranteed no kids.

Well, her title said "No Kids Wedding," suggesting that she was under the impression that it was a wedding without kids.

ALL THE KIDS WHO WERE AT THE WEDDING WERE IN THE WEDDING PARTY. THEY WERE NOT INVITED GUESTS. THEY WERE PART OF THE WEDDING.

I put that in caps since some of you seem to have trouble comprehending this.

[Anonymous]

My kids weren’t invited to my siblings’ weddings. I don’t think it’s odd for a no kids wedding to have zero kids, OP. I can see how that was your expectation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If I could do it over again (my wedding was 10 years ago), I would have explicitly invited kids. I remember going to family weddings as a kid and thinking the bride was a princess and that eating cake and dancing and staying up a little late was the most magical thing in the world. We had one kid crash our wedding and some of my favorite photos are with her on the dance floor. I think brides get so caught up in trying to be classy or formal and it’s not what you remember many years later.

Or they just really like kids and don't want bands of them flying through what is one of the biggest and potentially most expensive days of their life. I had a no kids wedding and no regrets, I don't like being around tons of kids. I love my two, but for a night out? Forget it. Don't need my kids with me or to be around other people's.

When I got married we were 25 and none of our friends had kids yet so, though we welcomed kids, there weren’t many there; maybe 10 tops. It was a lot of fun and it worked out well. I love kids but if I got married now and invited everyone’s kids there would be like 75 kids there! I’m not saying it couldn’t work but I definitely don’t fault brides and grooms who limit kids to family as not doing so could be pretty hectic and would add considerably to the overall cost.

Yes, I got married at 35, 100 person evening wedding in NYC, no kids. If we had invited kids there probable would have been about 40. The sounds insane unless you are a very particular type of person with a lot of money to spend on a party that's almost "for" the kids.

[Anonymous]

Being “pet peeved” is not a thing.

[Anonymous]

Yes, this is normal. They can't always invite whole families.

[Anonymous]

My cousin got married several years ago, no kids. OK, her wedding, her choice. I sent back the RSVP with regrets. My aunt called "you aren't coming?! Why not?!" Explained I just had a baby, I'd hate for the no kids rule to be broken with a sad baby". She suggested I get a sitter. Um, nursing a NEWBORN and the wedding was several hours away. Then said, bring a sitter and leave the baby in the hotel room. Um, no, sorry, we just can't, again, our regrets.
My parents went, reported a TON of kids were there.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Being “pet peeved” is not a thing.

unless a hamster annoys you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I hate weddings and I no longer go out of my way to attend them. I'd be annoyed too but I have learned my lesson. Next time don't overexert yourself and skip it if it's a hassle.

Feel the same.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m having a wedding this fall and inviting a handful of nieces and nephews, but none age 5 and under, and none who are young adults I’ve not seen for over 5 years. It’s not my responsibility to host a family reunion.

THISSSSSS

We saw ours as a great opportunity to get family together who don't usually see each other.

[Anonymous]

A lot of weddings are no kids except for family members, ours was.

[Anonymous]

Yes it’s normal. In fact, that’s what we did for our wedding. It wasn’t no kids, but the only invited kids were family - nieces, nephews, cousins kids. In the end we had quite a few kids for that reason but no, I was not inviting friends children (luckily only one of our friends even had a child when we got married so this was not a problem.)

For what it’s worth, most of my friends weddings were similars. Couples only unless it was family. And more recently, people seem to be inviting even familial children less and less.