He has a passport, but is it OK for him to leave the country without letting his dad know?

[Anonymous]

I am the single mom who posted a while back regarding help with making it on an under $75 k income. Many of your suggestions were great and have worked well for my son and I. Now, the biggest relief will come from me sending my son away early next year (for 6 months) to live with my mother while I save on childcare, get a roommate to stay for a few months to make extra income, and get my divorce completed.
My mother lives in another continent and would offer great love and care for my son. I am anticipating he will be back before the end of 2012, before he turns two. My soon to be XH and I have been getting nowhere with working out an arrangement regarding support and visitation. He has no interest in seeing him, or help in providing for him. Since my son's birth, he has only seen him a handful of times, and given very little in terms of financial support. He never shows up when he says he will, and laughs back at me on the phone every time I ask him to provide for my son. As a result, I have shut him out of our lives...no email, calls or text messages. Many friends think I should not tell him I will be sending my son away, while others think he has the right to know where his son is, despite the fact he could careless. My gut tells me not to say anything as this would create unnnecessary drama preventing me to send my son away (and as hard as it will be, I absolutley think sending my son away is the best decision for us at this time and will offer me the fastest solution to getting myself where I feel comfortable financially).

I was hoping to get some suggestions on thoughts of what you would do if you were in my shoes regarding whether to tell him or not.

Thanks in advance!

[Anonymous]

If I were you, I would keep quiet about it. We have travelled lots of times with kids with just one parent and never got questioned about it, though I have heard that theoretically you need both parents permission. Why tell him when it could only cause problems?

[Anonymous]

I would talk to a lawyer first. You could be risking charges of kidnapping if XH wants to make a fuss.

[Anonymous]

Is there a custody agreement?

[Anonymous]

This isn't an "ask the audience" question. If you can't ask a lawyer, at least ask Google.

What is a Travel Consent Form?
A Travel Consent Form is a legal document which proves to travel authorities that you have the required permissions to travel with a minor child.

A Travel Consent Form:
Proves to authorities and foreign officials that a minor child has consent from BOTH of his or her parent(s) or guardian(s) to travel.
Helps to prevent problems, delays, and cancellations at the border or airport.
Is essential for all minor children traveling without parents or guardians, or only one parent or guardian.
Can be used by schools, churches, sports teams and other organizations that need a minor child Travel Consent form.
Who Needs a Travel Consent Form?
When a minor child is travelling without both parents a Travel Consent form will be required by the airlines and customs and immigration officials.
Failure to produce this document could easily result in your being denied boarding or travel or entry to the destination country.

The travel consent form should include the destination, dates of travel and contact information for the other parent.

Any adult travelling with a minor child needs to have written, notarized proof that you have the legal right and permission to take a minor child on a trip, either within or out of Canada.

A notarized travel consent form is most acceptable by airlines, border authorities and customs agents.

This applies to all adults travelling alone with a minor child including

Custodial parent
Non-custodial parent
Legal Guardian(s) of a minor child travelling without parent or guardian
All other adults (schools trip supervisors etc) travelling with the child

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This isn't an "ask the audience" question. If you can't ask a lawyer, at least ask Google.

What is a Travel Consent Form?
A Travel Consent Form is a legal document which proves to travel authorities that you have the required permissions to travel with a minor child.

A Travel Consent Form:
Proves to authorities and foreign officials that a minor child has consent from BOTH of his or her parent(s) or guardian(s) to travel.
Helps to prevent problems, delays, and cancellations at the border or airport.
Is essential for all minor children traveling without parents or guardians, or only one parent or guardian.
Can be used by schools, churches, sports teams and other organizations that need a minor child Travel Consent form.
Who Needs a Travel Consent Form?
When a minor child is travelling without both parents a Travel Consent form will be required by the airlines and customs and immigration officials.
Failure to produce this document could easily result in your being denied boarding or travel or entry to the destination country.

The travel consent form should include the destination, dates of travel and contact information for the other parent.

Any adult travelling with a minor child needs to have written, notarized proof that you have the legal right and permission to take a minor child on a trip, [b]either within or out of Canada.
A notarized travel consent form is most acceptable by airlines, border authorities and customs agents.

This applies to all adults travelling alone with a minor child including

Custodial parent
Non-custodial parent
Legal Guardian(s) of a minor child travelling without parent or guardian
All other adults (schools trip supervisors etc) travelling with the child

I'm not necessarily saying this is wrong, but it says "in and out of Canada." What site did you check?
I've gone abroad with my kids without DH several times and I've never heard of this form, so unless it's a recent development it may not be relevant to OP's issue.

[Anonymous]

I have also been in and out of the country many times on my own with the kids and no one has ever mentioned a travel consent form.

[Anonymous]

With some airlines you absolutely need NCP consent or a court order. Being married, I needed my husband's consent to get a passport and they give me the 101 questions even though I had it all notarized and done how they want it done. They didn't get why he didn't come (humm, he's working).

He could cause you a lot of problems without consent, and how would you feel if someone did that to your child?

Also, understand at that age, that's going to be a very difficult transition for your child to lose their primary care taker and then go back afterward. If you need help with child care, can you apply for the working parent day care voucher?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Also, understand at that age, that's going to be a very difficult transition for your child to lose their primary care taker and then go back afterward. If you need help with child care, can you apply for the working parent day care voucher?

Agreed. I know sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do, but I foresee some serious long term repercussions from this. Best of luck to you, OP.

[Anonymous]

Pretty sure the other parent listed on birth cert. has to approve in writing. Which is why I am the only one my my kids cert. sure we have to do blood tests for add on and $ but I have 7 or 10 years of unfettered international travel instead of trying to explain to bubba sparks why our kids deserves to see Europe, African, and so amer

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:With some airlines you absolutely need NCP consent or a court order. Being married, I needed my husband's consent to get a passport and they give me the 101 questions even though I had it all notarized and done how they want it done. They didn't get why he didn't come (humm, he's working).

He could cause you a lot of problems without consent, and how would you feel if someone did that to your child?

Also, understand at that age, that's going to be a very difficult transition for your child to lose their primary care taker and then go back afterward. If you need help with child care, can you apply for the working parent day care voucher?

I'm the PP who said I'd never heard of the consent form. To be clear, I remember we needed both parents to come and apply for the kids' passports, but once they had the passports, the airlines could have cared less where I was taking them. OP said her kid already has a passport.

That said, even if it's ok to send the child away (I don't know if it is), it seems to me that XH might try to use that against you if he ever finds out, regardless of whether he has any interest in staying in contact with your kid.

[Anonymous]

Look up International Child Abduction - I think the law requires both parents to consent to child getting a passport. I think even the US Department of State website will disucss this. Once the child has a passport, I think either parent can travel with the child internationally, unless there is some court order stating otherwise, or stating specifically what is allowed/not allowed in terms of travel with the child.

[Anonymous]

I think this comes down to what your child's birth certificate says -- if it lists both parents, I'm pretty sure that you won't be able to get a passport without the dad's consent.

Moreover, even if you have the passport, your son presumably will be traveling on a one-way ticket -- that will increase suspicions.

Good luck, OP! This sounds like a very complicated situation.

[Anonymous]

Do you have any documentation about his lack of interest in his child? An email to this effect would provide a bit of justification for you having to resort to sending your child to your mom in order to manage support for him solo. Otherwise, it can look like you're just trying to keep the baby from his father. You'll want this in case the father's attitude changes down the road.

I would be completely silent about sending the kid to my mother's place. I know a single mom who is a small business owner. Without the father's involvement, her business would have gone under if she hadn't sent the baby back to her home country. He remains out of the picture. It was incredibly painful for her to live without the baby during the first year of his life, but she just didn't have another way.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think this comes down to what your child's birth certificate says -- if it lists both parents, I'm pretty sure that you won't be able to get a passport without the dad's consent.

Moreover, even if you have the passport, your son presumably will be traveling on a one-way ticket -- that will increase suspicions.

Good luck, OP! This sounds like a very complicated situation.

I saw afterward that you already have a passport. What does the birth certificate say? I ask this only because when the airlines scan the passport, it brings up a lot of data and if you applied with the absent dad for the passport, the airlines might then ask for a letter - it depends on what country your son is going to in part. Parental kidnapping is a big issue with respect to some countries (Germany and Brazil come to mind) and requirements can be more stringent.